0:00 [Music] i want you guys to take a look at this graphic right here subway series yeah you like it is it a new league no it's a it's a new promotional like series they're doing do sandwiches it's nothing different than regular subway but this graphic would you ever get a tattooed on your body your chest or back no way oh wait is this what the like what the campaign is to get this tattered on you no unless i'm jared if i'm jared i'll get attacked he doesn't have room and he's been in prison in a while i need the new publicity yeah i need people to forget about the child molester so they're awarding someone who's willing to tattoo this on their body free subway for life for life that's not a good price i barely even want one
0:51 subway yeah it's more like it's like a sentence i bet there's a line of people waiting to do that though and why i believe this is because someone got mr chao um ken jong is that mr his character's name tattooed on his like body why i don't know so i feel like if there's people that do that there's definitely people that will do it oh yeah because now you're actually getting something in exchange yo tell a homeless person about this i was taking the chance yeah you know what i'm saying let me get it right here go ahead you know you know me like they don't give up for life and then you're gonna be screwed that subway's gonna be like sorry we don't serve homeless people wow my god but i have the ████ tattoo my guy like what that's a twilight zone episode right there you know like hey get get subway tattooed in your body get free subway for life oh sorry we don't we don't serve the homeless and then the and then this one this specific one why couldn't it be a dope
1:41 one i know you don't say it like like in old english right it's like it couldn't be something dope but now it's like it's this limited series thing that's probably not gonna exist later so no i don't even know any tattoo artists that use green and yellow ink yeah yeah they're like oh we got that you gotta go to subway tattoo artist it's weird because it is like like if you've got a pepsi one but you got like pepsi smash which they don't even do anymore it's like wait why do i have this so they're not it's not that anyone can do it there's like they're going to pick from a bunch of like entries oh wow yeah and then the least homeless person gets it doesn't it it's only one guy that gets it that's ████ up they're probably gonna do all kinds of i don't know metrics and figure out who could get it that's not going to eat the sandwiches oh yeah i bet you yeah cause they're what it is they're gonna give you a card every year like it'll expire
2:32 every year they'll give you a new card that uh you can get a certain amount for that year i need to talk to their marketing department because i'm just like dude if you guys just fixed your sandwiches you wouldn't have to do stupid gimmicky ████ like this and if it tasted like quiznos i would go there way more yeah yeah is this really gonna move subway sales yeah just make it taste better i know i know yeah but nope they're doing this maybe this is their uh a big step in the direction of repairing their reputation another sham about subway is it like that never looks i never taste what it looks like too and they go fresh baked bread and the bread is like freshly stale like it comes out ████ up yeah i have a question i have a question let's say like you know those of you that aren't married or with other significant others but like you got single and you you're with a girl and you're having you know coitus and you do it in the doggy fashion not
3:23 to say it's so sexy your girl your girl has the subway series tatted on her lower back what are did you really just sign up for that contest to get a free you know the free sandwiches yeah like i don't know i think i'd be so much in my head i'd be like i'm obsessed with six inches yes well after this six inch we're gonna go get a six inch i don't know if they want to see a real six yeah it's more like four and a half but [Laughter] so if you get a smaller tattoo by the way you can so the one that you have to get is 12 by 12 inches holy ████ it's freaking huge but if you get a three by three i think there's like uh three people who um or eight people who are eligible
4:14 they'll get a three by three tattoo and they get free subway for a month what yeah this is dude that's not even close this is terrible it's actually good at subway though the cookies the spicy the cookies cookies are fine also i'm like is it because the sandwich tastes so much like ass that it made the cookie taste nah the cookie is good bro yeah cause the cookies it's like a little bit chewy in the middle yeah it's a little crunchy macadamia nut you know what i mean yeah i like the spicy bmt if i have to go to subway that's what i get spicy teeth fire yeah bmt oh obviously that just sounds like a porn category spicy you guys ever wonder like this is a funny thing to think but like you ever wonder these things that award free something for life to people that they just wait a while once the hype dies down
5:05 find the guy just [Laughter] for sure whoever wins i wouldn't be surprised like a year and a half later they turn up dead under mysterious circumstances you know the subway mafia is like dude but the guy that gets the tattoo after a month of getting free subway he's not going to go back for a while and i like how our all of our scenarios has been a guy getting this because we know a woman would just laugh dude i've never seen a girl in subway ever yes trevor we actually have a couple of members at barbara brigade that are about to get a percent free membership for life why so our program it's 100 bucks a month but every year uh for loyalty we take ten percent off so if it's a hundred bucks a hundred bucks the next year it's ninety dollars next year it's eighty right that's ex that's yeah so we have guys uh that are about so it's 2002 yeah we have guys at the
5:56 nine-year mark and then so they're paying 10 bucks a month now they're about to get it 100 for free wow and they're probably already jacked if i if i die i don't know what happens to or if the gym doesn't exist anymore i don't know what happens in lifetime membership [Laughter] it's not for your lifetime it's for barbells right when you give it to them you should be like oh just to let you guys know we're closing next month just just like hey thanks for the 90 years are there any are there any like disloyalty penalties where it goes up yeah oh you got to pay 110 now yeah i saw you at 24 hours yeah yeah i saw you over there [Laughter]
6:47 let's start that that's what subway needs overhead's gonna be rough because you've got so many private investigators to pay but yeah there was this it's not a lifetime free thing but the um american airlines was giving away this thing where it's like if you pay like a hundred grand or something you get lifetime free flights what yeah and they lost so much money are there people still doing it no the guy that did it so he he got it and then you with the benefit of that is also you can give miles away so he got his family all miles and stuff but i don't think american airlines whoever came up with this promotion didn't think about beyond like a year and so this guy was flying everywhere with his family and everything they were losing like i think at that point like hundreds of thousands of dollars if not millions of dollars because he was flying everywhere because he was usurped it's a
7:38 first-class ticket everywhere anywhere first class how much do you have to pay to buy into that is i think it was like 100 yeah it was like and then at the time people didn't have that money to like just use on this yeah so he he saw the benefit of it so it's like he called their bluff kind of thing pretty much yeah and then they cancelled it on him and he sued he sued and then he lost he appealed the people he lost and like his daughter was like he's better now but for a long time he was really distraught about the whole thing because basically they just pulled the rug from under like hey no we didn't that's very on brand with american airlines they cancel every flight i've ever been with i don't know what it is but do you hear hearing that i'm like that makes sense that's a move that they do they'll just cancel it right out of nowhere we've also lost my luggage and said it was my fault everyone really of course it's your
8:28 fault you're gonna fall because you for trusting them i guess you shouldn't have trusted this ████ ████ what's wrong with you idiot we're trusting though you're loyal it's like one of my last choices i fly spirit before i fly american airlines oh that's really bad yeah kind of nice i like that you came in here for 18 bucks 18 you can't be mad you can't be mad dude that's why i expect the service to me it's like getting on the plane like like a subway train not bad for 18 bucks that's like eating a subway that's like eating a subway cold cut and getting mad because it tastes like ████ i'm just like i know what i bought yeah okay yeah but american airlines i'm like you're trying to compete with delta yeah you got a long way to go and i got to pay all the delta prices for american airlines yeah true it's like come on man i'd rather go delta get yelled at by old
9:19 lady and ████ you know did you guys see that um there was like a similar thing when pepsi did a sweepstakes about points back in i think like the 90s they had this thing where uh certain points like by buying pepsi products you can redeem them and you'll get like a pepsi jacket or a pepsi shirt yeah and then in the commercial just as a joke the punch line at the end of the commercial they bring in this harrier jet that lands and they're like oh for 50 million billion points you get the harrier jet it was like supposed to be funny right one guy goes okay we're going to he found out this loophole that uh within the pepsi sweepstakes if you didn't buy enough products to get those points you could buy the points for a very very low amount he did the math and figured out that harrier jet which cost like how what is like a half a billion bucks or something like i don't know what it is he found out that it would be cheaper to just buy all the
10:10 points that they said the harrier jet cost in the commercial and then turn that in and he did that and pepsi was like no it's just a joke and then he tried to sue for it ended up he ended up losing but because of that lawsuit now every commercial when they ironically or sarcastically advertise they're not allowed to do that wow so that's that's the birth of that because of this hairier jet see suing always ruins fun ████ yeah always the literalist with all the money i know you guys uh ever used to smoke cigarettes and collect the marble miles wow you know i remember you get like jackets and ████ it was so sick it was like so you know like supreme puts like their brand on everything yeah so you could get like marble jackets ████
11:00 like golf clubs that was really cool back everything yeah and i wanted the jacket so bad so i collected a ████ ton right and then they just discontinued doing that at that time that is funny it's like i got these golf clubs through lung cancer i worked hard for these smoking all the way to it the pool table was a big thing worth it dude in college did you guys have cigarette companies like have signed up sheets at the college so our school like marlborough would come and they would like because they want people to smoke because you're 18 now you could buy cigarettes so i don't i've never smoked in my life but i signed up for the list but this particular list i don't know what it was they would send me gifts like every few months to smoke cigarettes yeah like so like they would
11:50 send me coupons for cigarettes so i'll give them to my friends because they'd be like buy one get one free which for cigarette people are like it's a crazy coupon and then so they would say initially they would send me like the marlboro cookbook like summer cookbook but then and then i would get like some random like horseshoe but then i'd get like shot glasses i get like all these just throwing all the fighter on the office this is crazy that's basically what it was it was so bizarre [Music]
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