0:00 When's the last time I just stepped out and just sat in nature a little bit? When's the last time I just went fly fishing, just me and the boys, you know? I wish I did more with my time like outside of the gym so that everything wasn't so gym-centric. Welcome back to another episode of Bar from the Heart. We're we're chilling, we're kicking back. We are answering some of these tough questions that Bar put on the sheet and they're so hard that it's going to take the whole episode for one guy to get his thoughts together. Uh namely this time is going to be Nick Dunn. Why are you gay? That's not the question. I saw the list. That's the question was not on the list. >> The question for you, Nick, is how different is your life between when you were in your 20s and now in your 30s? Nah, next question.
0:50 >> [laughter] >> Why are you gay? Now I can answer that. Do you feel like you're really that different from when you were 20 to 30? >> Yeah, for sure. Is it like a night and day difference or is it like a gradual like Masturbates less. I jerk off way less. Um you know what it is? It's uh in my 20s it was so like I kind of relate a lot to what Bar was talking about in his answer, where so much of his life was like, "If this doesn't make money, what's the point?" In your 20s? Yeah, for sure. You're responsible ass dude, man. Because I felt like I knew my job the instability was there. So like if I wasn't always doing something >> Rockets every day. If I wasn't in the gym, if I if I wasn't trying to get clients or train people,
1:40 then all the hours of my day had to be contributing to something else. >> So put us in your shoes in the in your 20s. What was your job primarily? So early 20s, I was just working and going to school. So I was like working at a part-time job, going to school, and then eventually it transitioned to me working in the gym, and then going to school. >> What was it like working at the gym? What are your What's your duties? I was doing one-on-ones, and then I was teaching classes. Is it for boxing or jujitsu? >> Yeah, all of the above. So, I was I was running A lot of the time I was running the kids programs. So, I would teach in the afternoon till like >> basically gym faculty. Yeah, pretty much. So, I was teaching from like 4:00 all the way till like uh 8:00 to 9:00 every night, usually. And I'd be either training clients, and then I was like That's how I was slowly building like my client roster and just getting my experience. Um
2:30 and then once I graduated college, probably like 25 I was like 25, I think. No, like 24, 25. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. Took me forever. Um late bloomer. And I was like, all right, I'm going to go all in on this gym stuff. I'm going to just train as many clients as I could. Um and teaching all the classes. So, I would be there from the morning like 5:00 a.m., 6:00 a.m. all the way until like Wow. 8:00 to 9:00 at night, usually. And I would do I was just in the gym nonstop, nonstop, nonstop, nonstop. >> In your 20s? In my 20s. All the way until like my late 20s. I was trying to cuz I knew if I wasn't doing something it was like Saturday Saturday and Sunday, too? Yeah, Sundays I would take off, but then Saturdays I'd be working a lot. >> Who put that in your head though that like oh, I got to get my ████ together? Like what Where did that motivation come from because so many of us are used to just kind of going through the motions
3:22 and not being that worried about that? >> I just think it was just my own expectations of like kind of what I wanted, you know? So, you made that yourself that that fire under your ass? I knew I had to, you know? I I had to do it. Did you have a numerical goal or was it just if you were like idle, you felt like you're not doing something right? Yeah, it was it was mostly um if I was idle something wasn't right. >> Was it ever comparing yourself to somebody else? 1,000%. And at the time it was like to be a successful trainer, I need to be booked up, booked up, booked up, booked up, booked up. I need to be seeing people all the time. So, that was the mindset. Once I got to like my 30s, especially in the past couple years where my I I have less time in the gym Yeah. than and I I got to do more opportunities like podcasts and being here and all that. Then it kind of changed. Um and then, you know, with
4:12 the stuff that happened with Tiff's condition where I had to kind of reevaluate and not like I needed to be home more. Yeah. needed to like help more. Yeah. And I couldn't just be at the gym all the time like and then, you know, the other thing too was like it was hard on the relationship between me and Tiff cuz she'd be working all day, I'd be working all day and the times where she's home, I'm gone. So, it became really lonely for her, too, and like and yeah, that was the hard adjustment I had to start making. So, it wasn't till like probably like 31 to like I'm 33 now. So, like around these past 2 years was when I had to like kind of like shift focus a little bit and and kind of do a little bit less in the gym and that was that's kind of still hard, you know, cuz I'm still trying to figure out that balance between all the things
5:02 I want to do and, you know, being able to do things like this and pods and all that. It was just finding that balance was really tough. On top of being able to spend time with my family and being with my wife and all that and seeing my parents and spending time with her family, you know, so it was like those things went away because I realized I was just living in the gym all the time and >> [snorts] >> you know, it was good for money, but then there came to a point where I was like man, like I got to figure something out cuz I want balance in my life. I don't want it to be just a a work lifestyle and like Tiff gets whatever's left. >> Exactly. And usually it's not like the best version of myself and I was just burning myself out. So, I've been really kind of this past couple years I've been really trying to reevaluate and really think about kind of like
5:52 what my next 5 to 10 years is going to look like and what I want it to look like. Have you had to decline or let go of clients in order to thin out your roster? Yeah, for sure. Dang. And it hurt the business for sure because I would I I wouldn't be around as much and now I'm finding a a balance and it's kind of hard for me to be in the gym as much as I want to be and then being able to other stuff outside of the gym. Right? So, it's like this weird balance that I have to kind of figure out. Um and yeah, it's like I'm I kind of feel like I'm in a crossroads, another like crossroads position, kind of like what I felt when when I was in my late 20s where I felt like I needed to do a different thing. Instead of working for the gym, I needed to go out for myself. Now, I'm kind of I feel like I'm in another crossroads where I have to figure [snorts] out
6:42 what's my next like pure focus going to be. Yeah. And I want it to be something where I could still be at home and if we do decide that we want to build a family, like that's kind of built in already. Right. You have the space to do it. >> Exactly. Exactly. A mental space, time space, yeah. >> And you know, just being there for cuz you know, Tiff's job, she's very it's not as much flexibility as mine. Like I still can have flexibility and still kind of like determine my own hours if I need to. And then it's not the end of the world if you can't make it one day. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But then, you know, I've I've started to realize that there's there's a double-edged sword to that too is because my job is I need to be a beacon of stability for like my clients and the people I work with. >> Yeah. And if I'm kind of like in and out, then that becomes like a becomes an issue sometimes.
7:33 >> Yeah. I could see how it could be a thing too where like, let's say you're thinning out your roster to have more time. Word gets around, this dude don't take clients anymore, he's packed. Yeah. would be interesting, too, because then people wouldn't pass the word the way they used to where they're like, "Get this guy. Get this guy." Like, now you can't get him. You just can't get him. So, So, it's like a it's kind of like a rock and a hard place. >> Yeah, it is. >> A little bit. So, um yeah, it's honestly it's kind of like, all right, I have to test and I'm I'm in this stage now where I have to try certain things out and then see how well that goes. >> Like, increase your prices? Yeah, for sure. That's the toughest one, huh, to do, right? Yeah, that's tough for it's that's pretty there, too, you know. But, um yeah, man, it's I think it's kind of boring, honestly. Well, here's here's something that I think if you if you tried looking at this way, this might be more interesting to you. Let's say you as your 30s right now, right? When you look at 20s Nick,
8:25 what's something that you admire about him and what's something that annoys you about him when you look at him? What annoys me about him? The face, dude. What about his face? No, no, no. [laughter] He's got a punchable face. I admire the hunger that I had cuz I feel like now I do feel a little like I don't want to say a little less hungry, but I think I'm just burnt out. >> You got a lot on your plate, though. I've been feeling like real and I think I've been trying to slow down a little bit so I can kind of figure out what's going to fill my cup again, you know? And I didn't I never thought that would be an issue. You know, I'd always like when you're 20s, you think, "Oh, yeah, dude, I can do this all ████ day. It's easy money. Whatever. Hustle hustle hustle hustle hustle. Hustle hustle hustle, you know? Yeah, and then now I'm realizing that yeah, I can't do that as much anymore. You just can't. Yeah. Can't. Like, I can't be everywhere I want to be all at one time. And for me, like, I I feel like I'm thankful cuz I have a lot of
9:15 options. But, now I'm like I have to kind of hone in on just a few options, you know? And it's that's the hard part is saying no to to certain things, you know? Yeah, that's tough. But, at least there's something to say no to at all. Yeah. 100% and that's what I always tell myself to be thankful and to be grateful that like you you have opportunities but then sometimes it's like you know, on some some days when it's hard you're like, "F██████ piece of ████ day. You better get your ████ together. You need to ████ figure it out now." And it's like there's that pressure of like trying to hurry up and figure it out. And um I think it's one of those things where you I don't think you can figure out until you just do the the goal or whatever you're looking for. Like for me it's like right now it's like, "Okay, I'm thinking about this online stuff, doing more online
10:05 online online." But it's like I'm afraid to like jump in, you know? Like it's it's like I'm so comfortable here and I need to get uncomfortable again. I need to kind of like dive into that water again. And and I relate it to what I felt when I was like towards my late 20s where I was so comfortable with this one spot, but I knew I couldn't stay here at that spot if I wanted to grow. And when I made that jump, I had immense growth. And now I'm in a place now where I'm like, "Okay, I need to make that jump." What's that jump? I think it's just fully committing to doing this online thing. >> Being an influencer finally? Not even an influencer, but like just seeing go making the jump of saying, "Hey, you're going to only deal with online clients. You're not going to see that many people in person." And for me it's like such a crutch to see [snorts] people because it's you know, it's easier to cash flow,
10:55 it's easier to like um to build that connection. Like it's I think it's harder to do it online because it's not where like my skill set is honed. Like my skill set is honed in in person. Yeah. They are two different skill sets. >> 100% and I'm learning that as I and the past couple and it's not like I haven't been doing it. I've been I've been in the I've been doing an online business for like, you know, the past since COVID, right? But now it's like, "Okay, it's like ████ or get off the pot." >> Right. Instead of like dipping a little bit. >> And I know that every time I dip my toes it's like I don't want to say it's half-assed, but it feels like it until you ████ burn the boats, burn the bridges, and then no backup plan. So you're you're forced to make it work, you know? So, that's kind of the place I'm in. >> Yeah, it is very tough. >> Cuz you know, there's so much I miss from that, too. It's like being in person with people, or being in the gym, and Well, yeah, so much of what you've done leading up to that point was in person. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, it's
11:47 like I know it's kind of ████ in the minutia a little bit, but >> [laughter] >> it's it's something where that's what I'm thinking about as far as like in my 20s to my 30s, and I know that I want to be home more. I want to spend time with family more, and not be this person that you know, cuz I don't I I work weekends, you know? Like I don't get to spend as much time with Tiff as much as I want, you know? We don't get to You know, we have moments where we do stuff like that, but I know that I don't want to say I'm robbing her of like our marriage a little bit, but there's there's moments where I feel guilty for not being around, you know? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know it's a limited time, cuz we're not going to get this period of our time period of our life again. Like how it is right now is only going to stay like that for so many years until it turns and transforms into something else. >> You're just going to have more to juggle. Yeah, exactly. More on the
12:38 plate, you know? Especially if we decide that we want to build a family and all that. >> So, in your 30s, you're being more intentional with time. You're more like You're not just trying to do everything. Cuz I would always be I would say yes to everything. I'm there. Yeah? Okay, cool. I'm there. You want to do this? Okay, I'm there. And now I have to catch myself. 20s was the yes man. 30s is the hold up. Let's see. 30s is the no man. No. Did you I'll ask you guys, like did you guys feel that way when you were kind of entering your 30s? Or like did you guys have a similar type of like mindset shift like that? >> I think I was a dumb ass until 3 years ago or something. I still feel like I'm still a dumb ass. Mine Mine is mainly the kid one. If I didn't have a kid, I don't think so, cuz I think for me it's more about what is the immediate I have to deal with. And when we started having planning kids you could just see you don't have the hours in the day. Like she's like, "Okay, let's say you want to go to the park." When can you take a walk in the park? I
13:28 like, you got to put it on my schedule. Yeah, yeah. So you always you tell me we can't walk to the park every day. You know, then I like start going, oh ████ if you look at just blocks of time, I don't even have time to to spend with So like when we're hustling like crazy, I probably saw my mom once every 2 years, even though she lived ████ Every 2 years. >> Yeah, I lived in Monterey Park, she lived in Torrance, like 20 minutes away, but it's just there's no time. We're doing shoots constantly. That's another thing too is I think about like my time with my mom. You know, cuz she's getting older and it's not She's not in bad shape or anything and I know she's We got a long time with her, too. Well, you get to train her sometimes, right? That's a good way to spend time. Yeah, I train her like twice a week, you know, but at the same time it's like you know, so much of my relationship is just being in the gym >> [laughter] >> and it's like nothing outside of that is like, you know, it's that's the the tricky part. And uh yeah, see my mom That's your comfortable space. Yeah, and it's you know, it's it's a
14:18 time where I'm like, okay, yeah, come on, we do something productive. It's going to be helpful for her, you know. It's like kind of a kill two birds with one stone, but it's like In my head, that's what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about like two birds with one stone. How can I get like kind of fit that all together, but it's like So responsible, dude. Do you think so? I don't know if I'm that responsible, dude. >> I wasn't that responsible in my 20s and 30s. But it could be because you had a stable relationship for such a long time and you're not like trying to chase ████ all day and doing all that stupid young mind ████ Imagine if you had to balance that, too. I would probably only be chasing girls and not doing anything at work related, you know. You saved yourself from a pretty bad curse. Nah, for sure. And I you know, but yeah, man, it's just one of those things where I I wanted I feel like the past couple years like when I look back at my 20s, I I wish I did more
15:08 with my time, like outside of the gym. Oh. You know, like a little bit so that everything wasn't so gym-centric. Yeah, it wasn't >> So it's easy to branch off and do other stuff. Not even that, just like more experiences, maybe. Like I feel like I kind of robbed myself of experiences. More unrelated things, yeah. And I feel like I'm I don't want to say like a midlife crisis, but like a little bit of a crisis where it's like, man, like when's the last time I just stepped out and just sat in nature a little bit. >> [laughter] >> When's the last time I just went fly fishing? Just me and the boys, you know? ████ like that. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. But now I'm starting to think that like, okay, I need to maybe like Barton a lot of ways, like got to schedule that. I got to work it in. And I'm not good at doing that. If it's for myself, bro, like I'll just be like, nah, ████ that. That's true. I mean, if there's one thing we learned from watching Bart is that that sometimes you have you have no choice but to schedule it to make it work, yeah. Yeah, there's no other way
15:59 sometimes. >> Or else I'll buy guns and I don't shoot it for a year. I buy a snowboard, touch the once in like 3 years. Cuz you like you have the initial idea and then you do it and then you're like like you know, things come on your plate that are more important. And then you're just like, oh ████ I never even did any of that stuff that I wanted to do. >> Yeah, you get too easily distracted when it's an open-ended format, too. But man, I still think honestly, from my point of view, I still think you're ahead in terms of maturity and and responsibility. >> I feel like I'm last, dude. Thank you. >> [laughter] >> No way, dude. I don't know way. I mean, I guess comparing is always a funny thing. >> That's what ████ me up. >> You know, when you were 20, who you were comparing yourself to. But then when you really compare yourself to yourself, the way that Bart's question is like 30s to 20s, you really do see a pretty big ████ difference, man. >> You're ahead of me in my in my 30s and 20s? You're ahead of me, too, in in the age I'm right now, I think. I'm not as
16:49 responsible as you right now. I'm not that responsible, I don't think. [laughter] I think I'm pretty responsible. Well, I think maybe in 10 years we'll have this conversation again. You'll look back at your 30s and really like a lot more things about yourself. That's maybe something I'm working towards. Thank you. Thanks, guys. That's another episode of Bart from the Heart. You have a question like this, anything deep, put it in the comments below and I'll see you next time. >> Or join our disc Patreon and then say it in our Discord where we'll guarantee see it.
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