0:00 [Music] since it's all guys here today perfect let's let's uh yeah brother let's all answer this uh very important question that's based only on uh something we possess what's the hardest youve ever been hitting the balls oh come on artiest oh I know no okay well you ready what you know was a raise your hand game it's a race almost your story is better than mine first get the first one out I was a kid and I was sleeping over my buddy's house Christian in Junior High School uh back when like we were super super into like WWF and stuff so we would always have like crazy like wrestling matches when his like Mom let sleep over meet him and
0:51 Simon and then uh he had some bikes so we would like bike around the neighborhood and stuff like that and then you would pretend to do like different tricks from time to time I was trying to get this one trick down where you like kind of pop a wheelie and then you spin the bike handle so it that's cool uh but like obviously there's moments where you don't get it and then I think I was also moving too fast to like get the wheelie going in a certain way which is also kind of dumb I went up on it I spun it but it fell down too far uh and it did a hold rotation but it went one and a half it like hit sideways and because it hit side was going too fast I went forward like this but then the handlebar was sticking up and I and I I swear it like got right in the like the socket between the ball the the shaft and the nuts and it pulled my nuts as I flew this way I was on I think
1:42 I was lying down maybe I felt like 10 minutes just crying I swear stor just make you and then uh I remember I also remember when I went into the house it I was like it was bruised wow oh it was bruised and were you glad that you have a little dick cuz it would have got because it was so big that there was something to hit there if you would have went over your vagina would have creased it you would have lubed up the handles pull out your dick right now pulling out pulling out way draw it right now draw it yeah everybody draw it there's draw on the backro call real to scale terrible yeah that was bad that sucks dude how old are you kid junior high so maybe what like 12
2:32 did you quit you cing bike tricks after that or were you like I'm back honestly I I think I did stop doing bike trick after ████ damn that's awful I was limping for like a week you know when you go to school too and people like what happened you don't tell them that story you're like n oh man you don't just tell them you got a bike injury and then you're like cool let me see it let me see it cuz you know when you're young everyone wants to see scars and ████ yeah I would have asked yeah see your balls real quick dude what was your story mine was actually bike related too what the heck can't say anymore can't say any he took that one you can't steal stor somebody else no more bike stories please you have another one so mine was
3:22 uh you know how like you would ride your bike and then there'll be like a like on the sidewalk there's like the entry to people's driveway so so use that as kind of like like a curb right or like a like a little jump there was this one like planner in front of one that was maybe like this tall and then this is right when I learned that like after you hit the jump if you pull it higher you can kind of like bunny hop over it or whatever and so this one I was like this one I was 10 and I was like okay cool I'm going to try to go as fast as I can cuz you're still trying to work it out you're like I don't know if it's like I pull high or is it speed you don't know what makes you like jump as high as you can so I go way down the street to where the street ends and I go boom so I go as fast as I can I hit the thing and here's the planner I come up boom I hit the front tire and as soon as I hit the
4:13 front tire the the ████ chair goes like this or the seat and it hits my dick balls and it pushes all the way that way I remember falling off going a and it was in so much pain I didn't give a ████ what happened I need to see if I was okay so I just pulled my pants down on the street and I was just like touching my like if there was blood I was like oh my ████ God I was like and my pants were just at my ankles I didn't give a ████ like dropping it and he's checking his balls yeah I didn't give a ████ if anyone was watch cuz there was just so much pain where you don't give a ████ about embarrassment anymore you know you're just like I don't get I don't need to look glad your dick was so small like yeah
5:04 like and then my uh all the skin on the bottom of my balls peeled off no so it's like a kiwi imagine you when to shave a Ki and it's like lime green it it was like that but it was like bright red wow all the entire bottom part of my skin was peeled off no stop being peeled hey do did it scar oh I don't know oh let take a look pull it out pull it out yeah it was oh that was so painful it was that's a SC yeah cuz it was like not only one up my story right now what's going on huh with the same bike with the exact same story but I I landed the trick though my skin my skin peeled off too and it wrapped around my head but who did were you on the ground longer than him I think it was 11 minutes I
5:54 think damn story is way better up every those are just crazy ni like I have a bike story too mine's a scooter mine's 12 minutes long mine wasn't crazy like that but it was funny we were filming and I forgot what exactly it was for JK films and at the time my ex was like oh I know ta one do I ████ took ta W I could do this scene right and then so she was supposed to kick my thigh mhm but pretend that she's kicking my dick yeah and um do you remember like what it was about I don't remember what was about but I remember that it happened and it was on that hill in monre park up yeah yeah at that Park yeah yeah yeah and so she does a full no
6:45 she doesn't even just do a kick she does a full ████ 180 like her back is faced me and then she ████ bounces and then she goes bam and she goes full score out the world cup is what she tried to do she full force kicks my ████ dick and then I feel the back of her toes on my butt cheek and I fly upward yeah I just go and I ████ immediately collapsed that ████ was crazy I was there like what from she was supposed to she was supposed to aim for the thigh but she committed so hard Joe's ex this is what it looks like so if I'm Joe this is what this is the this is the visual that I saw cuz I think I was on the other side so it kicked me here gently he goes like this boom and I just see Joe's hand go like this I see his D grab her
7:38 back and I was like oh ████ that was so bad she launched she ████ went like like one of those things oh the run up video I don't even remember you said this was this was an ex-girlfriend did you break up with her after this yeah that was the whole reason right yeah for sure wait that was the whole reason no it it was bad though it was like she like a crazy soccer honest mistake or was that like an honest she was no no we weren't fighting or anything no she was it was just really bad aim yeah I think she just committed so hard that she forgot to not actually commit to the actual thing no it's cuz Joe's dick is so big it's so huge that it's hard to miss you can kick his ankle and hit something just clutch guys remember Joe's as but I I felt like shoot up to my
8:30 ████ stomach and I just fell I just fell on the ground right after that for 12 minutes 12 and A2 yeah cuz it was Point Blank too like Joe is just he was like was for the shot so he's just ready to take it that's so aw like he wasn't in motion or anything it was just all right let's do it 3 2 1 action ████ was crazy terrible I would never do he's method acting oh God and that's like a fully that and his is already developed too that's s full grown oh man yeah mine was Child's balls his is developed you guys had time to heal yeah for me it was never the same again well he still just doesn't have skin graphing just bar off he had to get some of it transplanted from the back of his neck oh no bottom of my balls are
9:20 smooth it's missing a wrinkle kind of sweet for me mine was you guys remember like double bouncing people on the trampoline like double bouncing like Propel like go so my younger brothers are like 7 years younger than me like way younger and I was double bouncing them on the trampoline cuz we had one as a family and I bounced one of them and he got like the perfect angle and like I jumped up he double bounced and his head went straight into my balls you got hit but it yeah literally just at the Double bounce speed was like boom like just right you just collaps immediately into the trampoline that's a lot of M I was like you could do better did you fall on the trampoline while they were still bouncing cuz they didn't get stable and until you were still bouncing
10:10 up just stuck in the [Laughter] middle I feel like that happened a lot at like Chuck-E-Cheese like Discovery Zone I know to a ball pit don't realize there's a kid inside I've never been to jump zone no you should do a jump zone trip are we allowed yeah we're allowed to go to the Jump Zone dude oh those trampoline grownups could do it totally cool freaking acl's about to go out oh so dangerous did you did you guys like jumping from high places and then like going into water or like whatever I don't like doing that no more I used to ████ love it don't like it like L like recently we found a rope on a tree yeah and it was um on a river and I climbed it up I did the ████ Tarzan thing and then I fell in the water and I was like damn this ain't exciting like
11:00 it used to be oh it just wasn't even fun I mean it didn't give me the same like wooo like it was just like oh yeah crash and I'm like that wasn't that fun dude it's the most old person thing I've ever heard you say that does sound old like I'd rather just smoke a cigar or something swinging on a rope swing I don't know what happened that feeling or like I don't know it doesn't have the same excitement it's just I'm going through the physical motion how was how big was the rope swing up here like to the to the roof maybe maybe you didn't maybe you just have to do it way differently now cuz you've done it so many times already maybe it's time to do a scarier maybe it's time to do a naked or like try to double back flip take a couple shots maybe you got to go to Tijuana like Kristen and do those crazy ass slides oh my God I mean like level up
11:52 cuz the world has weird ████ now them Parks the best they don't care man they're way funner cartel land there I they get Su they're like you're not going to sue the cartel I went to Haiti a few weeks ago and they had a gravity coaster in Haiti what's a gravity coaster it's like one of those like an Alpine Slide sort of cart where it's like a single person on a cruise yeah oh wow and it yeah it's like a big just metal track and just a little tobogan that sits on it and you can control your speed as you go down so it's like a bob slide it guess it's a gravity Coast it's like a it's a kind where all you could do is slow down you hit like a lever but if you don't touch anything then you're just going to ride yeah that's what tobogan is huh yeah way yeah yeah yeah but like it's like a circular Loop has like a chain lift and everything really beautiful the views off of it were insane that sounds fun if the cartel did open a theme park would
12:42 you go hell yeah what cuz it's called cartel land well think about it right it's probably going to be one of the safest place in Mexico because they're keeping it safe yeah do you think like not just bars but there's like there's drug bars as well there's no drugs there it's they they're cartel that's ton dud but it's openly like it's actually they're actually like hey where the cartel it's our place you know what is scary though cartel is it becomes a target for Rivals so that's that's what I'd be scared of but I wouldn't be afraid of enjoying it cuz I'm their customer they want me to spend Pisco land yeah so you go there and then they go hey check it out this is our met laugh this is what we do and then they go over here is where we make the special eyes like it's like a tourist thing like Universal backlog where you walk in this glass window and people just like chopping up drugs and stuff that's sick or would you go it's like
13:34 dun would you go to a cartel land where like all the different lands within the cartel land are different cartels and they're all like you start in the middle and they're all come here come to our place and then you and then if you don't don't go to theirs they're like ah remember you oh no that's kind of like the Polynesian Cultural Center when you walk in they're like Samoa Tahiti and you're like well I don't know both of you guys are kind of big I don't I'm kind of scared if I don't if I go to Samoa he's going to ████ me up I really like the Polynesian culture center do you still go to that even though you live in Hawaii I never been once you've never been one time what did you just say you just gave us the story I I lied to you I never rode my bike before I never had balls D you got good
14:24 man I don't even know I would have believed that till the end of my life have you done the like the expensive tier there where you get the buffet and then wait have you been or have you had not been I know so much about it it's like I've never even done a ████ rope swing are you talking about the Polynesia Center or you talking about cartel land PA cuz I'm assuming cartel land is going to take the same format right and you go there yeah hey we're are we're ████ Zapatas or like we're halisco or like whatever ever right and we're like different we're ████ it's like we're known for our pure cocaine and then and then he does that and then we go to the next one and you know we're known for our arms trafficking check this out AK-47
15:15 straight from Soviet era it's like it's like the old cowboy gun games you know what I mean but like real guns and maybe like real people you shoot bazooka that' be cool speaking of cartel land it makes me think that like we need to start having like little Resorts and theme parks you can smoke weed before the rides cuzz that like they have bars and stuff at like Disneyland and stuff people just do that in California anyway cuz you have to you have to like sneak it and stuff like right now cartel it's like funnel cake but instead of powdered sugar it's just cocena you know what I mean like amazing but you know I don't see that being far away cuz think about all the mob like museums and all the like mob theme things like that was American cartel right so you go in and it's like mob themed and and you go to the bar and everyone's you know dude cartel land they got like Escape rooms but like it's for real like if you don't
16:05 escape Stakes are real high that's it one of them is like a meth lab on fire so when did you get your balls grappled man it sucks cuz like none of my stories are actually pretty good like they're nothing like your guys' stories you never got them hurt that bad just say you lay down for 13 all the times you get touched honestly I make a joke with all of my sparing Partners they'll be like oh did I kick you in the balls and they'll kick it but I'll be like didn't even feel a thing and I make a joke and I'm like like oh did I kick you and I was like you could try but you're not you're you're like that kind of Chinese you just stand there in the ████ wood oh are you this guy no I'm like you're not going to kick me in the balls dude like one of my buddies he uh he has a really good story where he was sparring with one of our with a teammate and he kept doing a spinning back kick and we do like a Taw do back kick you're supposed to kick him
16:55 in a solar plexus right he kept missing and he kicked him right in the the balls right and it's like it's a straight heel to your balls like it just like a straight back kick so the dude collapses and he's like oh ████ and he's like making a big scene like dude what the ████ is wrong with you do you tuck before you Spar you said what do you tuck your balls before you Spar N I just try to just move my hips just move my hips as best I can oh you're but he uh he got kicked again the guys threw the same exact kick right after after you touch GL Spar again the same exact kick kicked him in the balls again and the dude is like are you ████ kidding me like you don't know how to throw this kick properly and you kick me the balls two times like I'm going to beat your ████ ass and you wouldn't believe it you wouldn't believe the third time no
17:46 ████ way why keep throwing his kick cuz people are ████ stubborn dude could me I'll show you you know and dude and my and then I think my buddy started like peeing blood for a couple days shut up God and then he was so mad he was like yo ever since then he's like yo ████ that dude and he anytime he sees him he's always like he and it's been like five six years he still holds a yeah is that guy just a clumsy ████ ah whose fault is it really though he supposed to guard at all times but that's the thing it's like it's both like fool me once you're right it's both it's absolutely both right like yeah the onus is on the guy but it's also like you kind of put yourself there you know like if you know this guy is going to do that ████ you're like okay like you said
18:36 fo me once I'm going to make sure anytime you ████ turn your back like and I see you do this I'm ████ out of there dude you know but I don't know it's just and most real fights people play dirty so like it's preparing you for the real ████ you still got to get close to ████ kick a guy in the balls like if you want to kick a guy in the balls you still have to like close the range right you have to defend it you know so it's like I don't know it's just really interesting also didn't defend three times you're not supposed to full contact in sparring are you yeah you're not but that's a rule that is meant to be broken by a lot of people cuz it's just you never know people are just fight for their life and ████ you might be like Oh I'm here to practice some guy's like I'm ████ the best of the world I'm going to kill you like some guys come to practice like this you really don't know this is why I'm a dancer it's probably better to dance and fight honestly yeah you never get your balls hit when you're dancing right yeah no sack Taps what's the hardest time you
19:26 got sack tapped all 13 minutes that area is in 13 minutes a sa happened
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