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Airline Passenger 'Breastfed a Cat & Wouldn't Put It Back in Carrier'

#cat#dickmilk#breastfeeding#carrier#illegal
the transcript auto-captions · entered into evidence

0:00 [Music] there's a passenger who was on a flight on quote-unquote that breast fed a cat and wouldn't put it back in the carrier back in the carrier titty she's got two cat carriers they're that much she's got that much titty that she needs to declare both heavies dude for kitties.com it was a lactating mother i i don't even know if that detail is there but yes a human mother pulled out her tit yes and a cat started sucking it yes and then one was asked by a flight attendant to put the kid put that away she didn't put that away is that illegal oh well i know that you're supposed to have the cat in the you're supposed to have the pet in the carrier for the whole flight so is that the technicality that you know it wasn't the breast uh that needed to go back in the carrot at the very least yeah it was the cat that needed to

0:50 go back people are sneezing and ████ they're like yeah she put the titty through the the cage no i doubt it she should have she probably should have i think it was out of the carrier i think that cat was ████ sucking on it like that hamster drink water water thing oh no with a little ball bearing yeah that looks a little i didn't need to imagine anything i didn't know cats like titty milk like that i didn't know it's ████ teeth were gonna ████ claw and make the titty bleed oh and you got then they got like sandpaper tongue they do which might be kind of nice this is a new mother too she's lactating where's her ████ newborn i have no idea no she could be one of those like uh whoever lacks convince yourself like there's those like um it's like the there's that medical condition where you convince yourself that you're pregnant and then you're just placebo lactato yes the latin word for it yeah placebo that's pretty good it's a thing though it sounds like a some kind of burrito

1:40 it's like a lion king song [Laughter] what a wonderful thing so a viral screen grab purportedly shows an aircraft communications addressing and reporting systems message from delta airlines flight to atlanta detailing the bizarre occurrence on the plane message seemingly written by the pilot indicates that the woman refused to put the cap back in the carrier pond request so they called for delta's redcoat ground team to bring in backup and the message reads require redcoat meet ac pax or passenger in c13a is breastfeeding a cat and will not put back put cat back in its carry when fa aka flight attendant request it so they haven't taken off yet or they just they're in the air i'm sure they're ████ in the air and they're about to land and then they're like hey we need some backup because this lady's ████ oh damn yeah that is pretty crazy we got

2:32 some crazy people on planes nowadays because it's weird because it's like i don't have a problem with people like breastfeeding and stuff like because i know that's a big thing where it's like oh you know yeah why should you have to like go somewhere if you're coming you know if you're trying to feed your kid i don't know the cat thing's a little weird is that against any kind of like pet regulation like bestiality type ████ is that like it's considered animal abuse i'm sure that could be a form of abuse maybe maybe it depends on circumstance maybe it's abuse not to feed your cat but that's wild though but then that means she probably trained the cat probably it's like a normal thing for the cat at this point right oh you're a cat lover you have cats i don't have i don't breastfeed like coming at you like lovers i don't know i mean i mean we're talking about ████ beats don't put that on me do you empathize with cats right like you ████ with cats heavy so it's ████ with cats or ████ no not ████ them

3:24 really scary i'm saying that very normal you guys keep flipping my mouth he's a ████ ████ guy milk excuse me this question was not as good as my question milk yeah that's a good one like your dick milk yeah you heard dick milk your cat it's white don't answer any of these it's not as much as teddy milk you don't get as much according to the article i give ████ cats my dick milk they wrote about you in the article that's how the article ends anthony lee gives his cat dick milk and refuses to stop how do you how would if you sat next to her how would you feel this lady was breastfeeding you're not breastfeeding i'm like hey do you want some dish meal yeah what if you're the right answer betting a cat suck your dick on the plane do you stop your cat that's crazy

4:16 stop your cat from do you stop your cat when it tries to second let's first of all let's bring the attention back to uh the very infamous the one and only bar kwon's threesome oh yeah your dog with dogs wait say that again yeah this dog lick his ████ butt no uh so i used to live in like a like a back house like a garage and then and our mattress was on the floor so when me and jill were having sex my dog came and like oh guess i was in a threesome i'm a player like that you just check that off the liz you didn't go like whoa ████ it oh i did of course we were both just laughing it was like what the ████ that's pretty tight though that's cool congrats man he's like ah what the ████ do it again you're a dog lover he's a cat lover have you been licked by a cat before their tongue is like razor blades

5:07 so why would you want that on your ████ nipple i didn't ████ say i wanted it on my nipple why are you asking me with those ████ eyes you didn't say that i thought that's what you're kind of like you know going to i felt like that was like ages ago i thought that was exactly what you said if you're the air marshal on the flight are you like is it my time to ████ just jump on this ████ or are you like he's not that dangerous though i can't justify this yeah you'd be like just trigger happening he's got your hand on the gun on ████ right right you gave him such a volatile personality he keeps reaching for it and he's like but she keeps doing it like they're picking out the air marshall like the guy and the ████ like while they're testing everyone there's one guy that's just like they're like that guy we want that guy on the ████ flight right are they supposed to not look like the air marshal he's just like oh he's the guy that's like pretending he's sleeping he's like

5:59 the worst pretended sleeper ever just like with like one eye open the entire flight lady put that cat back i'm trying to give orders but disguise them as like sleep murmurs put your kidney back in your shirt no i wish isis would but i wish isis would got a ████ cat bomb on this airline oh man that has to be illegal right you can't be breastfeeding no cat uh i don't know i don't know that's the thing it's like uh but you know like the argument is like oh that you're mistreating the cat the cat's like somehow like being mystery but imagine this is like a very like healthy like fat cat it's just like a super they're just like look at how terrible they're chewing this cat this black cat just hella milk all over this ████ like it's gluttonous you are doing this in abundance and not out of necessity yeah and that's a

6:50 problem it's got to be wrong yeah there's a judge specifically for these cases yeah he's like i don't get to come out very often when i do speaking of is it illegal though i don't know but i assume anything that happens the first time is not illegal you think this is the first thing murder no i'm just saying that i did anything i heard it the first time i think murder they were like bam they're like oh murder the first time imagine murder the first time that it happened human history yeah cain and abel that got written about in the bible as being wrong they got punished for that there was no law but people felt wrong about it there was no law though right but people probably looked at that like hey maybe don't do that yeah yeah people were like now we should deem this illegal yeah i guess like you just hit bob with a rock bro i don't know if that's right right that's what i'm saying if like if this is the first instance dude a feline

7:41 breastfeeding i can't say it's illegal i gotta at least be like she's a pioneer case number two there could there should be an answer no she you know what she's brave so is the cat oh the cat she said you know what i'm gonna breastfeed my baby and not get shamed for it that's what she said that's a process too she must uh yes well then i wonder if there's any laws in the book in the book of law of crimes that have never happened crimes that never happened not yet like stuff that they made lost are there any of those in there where they're like oh that's got to be this is illegal but no one's ever done it but it's illegal there's got to be like one type of instance like let's say like murder the first time it's like uh this person got stabbed right they're like okay well how do we make that law so it's illegal to stab somebody it's like but what if it's in self defense it's illegal to stab

8:31 somebody unless it's in self defense it's like but what if like you deserve that you were defending yourself but you had just committed this crime you know honestly yeah they instigated it yeah like they probably have to like take a basis or a foundation for something and then like create every ████ like graph chart around it in order to get really creative so i would assume that some of the best lawyers or law writers have to be the most ████ up people with imagination in order to imagine this crime and then they make the law after because it's like which is more likely right there's like yeah there's like manslaughter there's like different kinds what if there's just wild ████ that can't even be done yet and they're just like no just in case like you can't you kill a cloud from another region and put it in ████ this is gonna be stealing clouds oh that's illegal like stuff that's like you can't do it but they're like no but we need to make sure yeah like airspace or some ████ like your building can't be more than five

9:21 floors i own that airspace and you're gonna block mine you got space law yet space law right space long because we got space force technically not yet though right because right it's supposed to be a neutral space but i mean it's not even considered like international waters it's like not even yeah there's no wild it's not it's it can't make derogatory comments on other planets no you just or your ship would just ship all the races off to like to like mars and they just make like a racist planet where they just dude and it thrives and we're jealous that's realistically what every other planet already is and that's what earth is it's like they've shipped us down here yeah we probably are we're the rejects we were breastfeeding cats and ████ we were an alien experiment and they're just like ugh we ████ up and then they ran away yeah they left like specifically ran yeah

10:12 [Music] you

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