0:00 James Madison was ever like ████ fluting and then he's gonna like scratch his bowl yeah what how different is that to twerking you know [Music] white people are losing it right now losing we're losing our ████ mouth what is what is the all-white table have to say so so here's what's going on right now and I need I'm gonna need your guys you guys to be respectful of my rage and I need you guys to understand what the problem is ████ Catholic gratitude closed erawan's closed down um so so lizzo um made history last week when she played the flute right presidents James Madison's Crystal flute that's tight and yeah I'm pretty upset about it
0:51 pretty ████ upset yeah I'm sorry we haven't been sensitive enough towards you yeah can we can we understand like why you're upset about it well you know apparently like this is a pretty big deal and then um she probably shouldn't get to use it what was why why did she play the flute why did she play his flu specifically yeah uh to pissed me off is there anyone you think is sanctioned to play such a flute Kenny G Katie link Katie Lang okay yeah did she play it well it doesn't matter oh I don't know I didn't listen to it I just read the article and I was really fuming pissed apparently lizzo plays flew pretty well apparently yeah she does she actually really does She's Tight I think what people are mad about is um she's working
1:43 the whole team yeah at the end of it she twerked with it and I think you're twerking with like a historical artifact or something so it feels like you're desecrated she put it between her butt cheeks like yeah she was like this and then at the end she like that did she put him between her butt cheeks no not that I'm not the video that I saw I think what does it have to do with the flu and she just works with it yeah I think it's fine Indiana Jones twerked a little when he drank from the Goblet and he whips he twerks a little bit dude James Madison was ever like ████ fluting and then he's gonna like scratch his balls yeah what how different is that to twerking you know they didn't even have toilet paper back then he's probably scratching his ████ ass big time he's like oh my God epidemic back then they just had different Customs man yeah it's just different different things were
2:34 appropriate at different times it also it's lizzo it's it's that's why I want to know exactly what the purpose of this uh performance was I think I think it's just to get under their skin yeah just to piss me off just to piss off the whites I think there's like some sort of curator or whatever at the White House ████ Jose White House thing Hall of instruments or something yes and then did they find out that lizzo played fluid hey come down and play any flute you want and then I think she said I want to play why did that one like why did she play Grover Cleveland's electric guitar that's tight why does the White House need a hall of instruments they just got Halls of ████ like a museum that's why the White House has to have less Halls they have to have less stuff we gotta fix the problem at the source yeah she's just exposing it yeah less halls in the white house too many soft costs are going to this we'll solve twerking you and me we're paying for it
3:26 dude I think we just exist already no not the artifacts but to keep them housed and keep them in nice shiny glass cases that costs money they need to get rid of that I think what pisses me off is I didn't even know that this flute existed I didn't know either but then once I knew it existed then I got pissed James Madison's kind of a plus yeah it's called retrospective respect yeah what a loser James Madison playing the flute like pick a better instrument pick a way better instrument what what tune did she play yeah is there a clip of her playing the flute that we could like she played wet ass ████ she didn't even play her own track that's very I would play it but I don't even know if YouTube will be nice to us or whatever probably not no no no I don't need to it's okay we'll listen to it again
4:18 too yeah I'm a fan I watched her for uh New Year's uh at the of your babysitter in Vegas at whatever hotel that I forget it was but she was I remember going because uh Nina like loves lizzo and she's like oh we got these tickets I was like okay great what song is good by her because none of the songs really like is good maybe I'm not listening to the right ones juice I like all of them so ████ dope running it down right now I ain't ████ around just listen to her top five she should probably do juice and flute version and she's a really really charismatic and great performer and that's why she's great hell yeah I do the Christmas to the roof yeah through Matthew McConaughey she really shakes it she shakes it up okay do we
5:08 have videos of her shaking it up I do have videos I think James Madison should be like thankful that his flute was you know like go girl James Madison a bit down go girl you go girl what year was James Madison president you go Glen CoCo nobody knows all right 17 1800s 19. I looked it up and nobody knows yeah everyone's like James Madison was the president honestly it's probably 1808 to 1812. look it up um that was incorrect but also by 1864. just keep going he's not even on a ████ currency this guy's whacked yeah who cares Madison on a currency you know why because you play the flute is he on a ████ dime or a ████ I think he's on one of those weird bills James Madison was President 1809 to 1817. I said 1808 he's not even on 20 bill that wasn't it he's got a 50 Bill if they
5:59 were Asian yeah he's on a weird one five thousand dollar bill it's true holy ████ I sound like a ████ run but yeah yeah it's hard to see but okay let's see her get down oh that's not the clip I saw the clip I saw was in the White House well she was in the um like she was testing it out or something she was invited by Montpelier which is like I don't know his ████ house or something not pillar Montpelier I think it is but um yeah no there's a clip of that as well you know what's the crazy ████ how some instruments are like millions of dollars oh that's you know what I mean she torture yeah that's lit people always get mad at her about something crushed it she's so nice though but Yo Yo Ma played a historic cello no one bats tonight yeah yeah yeah
6:51 it's like totally the right wheelhouse he's sick have you ever heard him he's not sick he's dope because it's like the way he shakes his hand I'm like whoa this is cool more like yo yeah yo he's subjectively amazing yeah who's your favorite musician since you're like a Musician musician Kenny G bro really no um Bruce Hornsby is the one I like who's Bruce Hornsby what does he do uh he did that you know that song uh you know Tupac Changes the song that he samples he's the original Dude to do that yeah dude I just found that Coolio down I didn't even know RP Gangster's Paradise that's all it's like the goat song though it's like a ████ like imagine imagine if that's all you did is like Gangster's Paradise sorry I only did gangsters you know
7:41 what's crazy about that top top five karaoke songs of all time yeah yeah for some reason it's always it always has to go down that and Nickelback I don't know why it's because your friends suck I think at some point Amish Paradise kind of edged out uh Gangster's Paradise a little bit but only because Gangster's Paradise was so good you know that's the reason why is this like a double jeopardy thing if Liz is going to get ████ for it anyway she might as well do some fun things exactly she's gonna get ████ for it so like instead of just where she might as well stuff that thing between her cheeks and start shaking those things up oh really do you think if Josh Groban played it anyone would give a ████ not because Josh Groban's not edgy enough he's not he doesn't push the he doesn't move the needle hey I'm a fan of Josh going okay
8:31 my mom likes him he's great for during Christmas for Christmas only Christmas Christmas is all year round yeah oh Jesus is it no only if you're Mariah Carey on tour right yeah dude Josh grew up in sick though I'm a big fan I like Polar Express do you think Mike Pence shoved this thing up his ass people would people be like I get it that's kind of cool yeah because I'd be like good for you like yeah my pencil is my guy I could shove that thing all the way up his ass if he wants to would you like that he's an American he could do whatever he wants exactly what if it's like David Blaine or something like that shoves it up his ass makes you disappear what if Hulk Hogan slammed on it and broke it in half oh no don't break it with a leg drop though the best thing about David Blaine shoving is up his ass is that he would do it he would like just keep on Staring at you while you David Blaine that's what I'm saying that's really good I could picture him shove it all
9:22 the way up his ass for sure while he's in like an igloo yeah dude I finally saw that clip of him swallowing the Frog oh yeah and I was like but why it's a magic trick you dummy what were you waiting for not even not even why but like how did he figure out he could do that it's a technique that he learned about like he had to like practice it with like water and stuff first for like months yeah where you can like drink gallons of water and then like spew it back out with the Frog yeah you ever met anybody that could uh squirt water out of their eye yeah I met someone that they could do that really yeah they just learned how to do that I think that's more impressive than swallowing a frog do you think over those months a bunch of times he's like he's like all right now let's get this ████ out he's like ah ████ I don't think it's gonna go do you
10:12 think a frog died he had to kill at least once definitely at least one definitely have you ever met a person that can do this thing where they they'll go hang on they'll go and then go oh and like Vapor comes out yeah yeah that's like a real ████ trick but it's like people like know how to do this thing where they like go I don't know what they're ████ doing but but I met a dude who could do two amazing things that was one of them because he just went and like a bunch of like it looks like smoke but it's just like air and then the other thing he can do is he could go like this and like grab his arm and let go and it's still pushed down oh I was like the ████ are you that's not a trick that's like jaundice or something yeah that's why it might be attributed to a disease but I've always asked people that because I want to know if there's another dude I just want to be like that guy like Ryan's like Ryan's like I've
11:02 met a guy who could do two amazing things yeah yeah that's so cool he showed us in Banana Bay but like it's like hey you guys want to see some squishy ████ yeah that's he was literally that guy it was like I was in high school he was like hey check this out and he did this thing but oh and it just ████ like he was out of Vape you know what the trick was he hit an inhaler really quick first and then he did that I've seen people do that really that's you've seen them do that don't you hear that but he's probably sneaky that's his party he's like the Grim Reaper dude but he's just he's just talking like normal and then he'll he can do it anytime you want anytime there's got to be ████ like explain that ████ in the comments please explain that ████ because that's a real trick and I really don't know how you do it I know a guy who could do I know a guy who knows a guy who and this is probably an iron deficiency or some ████ [Music]
11:55 foreign [Music]
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