0:03 I I had a question like you know when we was growing up and stuff and we was trying to get down and dirty and watch some porno. Do you guys like find clever ways like do you guys like have a kind of like your I don't know routine to figure out how to do it like when you're at home and you're trying to dial load it up and stuff and your parents get home at a certain time or whatever. Do you guys have have a way or clever way that you would set up to watch porno? >> One of the ways I tried to do it uh so when I first moved in with my pops um the only way to watch it is if he was there because we had a black box downstairs. Remember black box? >> Yeah. >> So it's like a cable for the >> Wow, lucky. >> illegal cable >> It's a cable device that someone was able to like I guess the term nowadays would call jailbreak, right? And then you can get access to every single channel. So there'd be like Playboy or
0:53 whatever. And then so my dad's I'm like, "Oh, can I watch TV?" And then my dad's like, "Yeah." He's like reading the newspaper. So I just have to keep pretending like I can't find the channel that I want and I keep going through >> How would I know that? >> [laughter] >> I'm like, "Oh, where's that where's Fast and Furious at?" And I just keep going and it just keeps going to uh uh oh it's not that one. And I go and I go up and I keep going down. So I'm like watching the porno going cuz you're so ████ horny and that's the closest thing you have and they're just like try to go through that. That was the that's what I have to do. >> [laughter] >> Dude >> And he probably knows what the ████ you're doing. >> I know he's probably like, "Just leave it there." >> [laughter] >> So I obviously grew up in a very big family like I have like three siblings and you know my parents were at home all the time. Um like but I so I at night anyway. And so at night time the Playboy channel would be all scramble ████ on the TV. So like you can't quite tell
1:45 what's going on but sometimes you get lucky and like all of a sudden like the picture's like half clear and you could see titties or something and like that was magic the magic hour. So like between like the between like 11:00 and like 1:00 a.m. Like I would just be trying to go back and forth from like Jay Leno and then I would use previous channel like the previous channel button and I go back to the Playboy channel and then I go back to previous channel if I heard somebody coming. >> Oh, smart. >> Yeah, dude. But you couldn't jack it that way. It was just like >> guys sound like ████ dinosaurs to you right now? >> What's a black box? >> [laughter] >> So there wasn't streaming or on demand or anything back then. You know what a cable You know what no cable TV is? >> Oh, like a cable and stuff? >> Like direct TV or it's like that. >> Before satellites. >> Got it. >> Yeah, before Dish Network whatever and then you would get these things called
2:35 black boxes which somehow they're able to unlock all the channels. All the pay-per-view stuff. >> Oh, where you would have to like go on the roof and like take hangers and foil and like wrap ████ around to try and get like better >> Yeah, because back then you paid for like limited channels, right? Like the basic or whatever and then the more channels, the more you have to pay. But then that's so expensive. So when you get a black box, you just buy the box and it unlocks all of it. You don't have to pay subscription. >> Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> You pay You pay the tech that installs it like a blue collar dude. He's like "Hey, if you just pay me, I'll just unlock that ████ for you." >> And it's one of those things that's like frowned upon. It's not like you're not going to go to jail for having one. >> Yeah. >> So the modern day version would be like if you attached a black box to Apple TV, then you would get like Hulu, Netflix,
3:25 Paramount, all of those just wide open and you don't have to pay subscriptions to any one of them. It'd be like that. >> Or maybe you don't even need a device because there's certain websites where you could do that. >> Yep, and we watch those websites every day. The especially for sports. >> Aren't you an adult already by that point? >> Huh? >> Aren't you an adult already by that point though? When there's websites around to watch this stuff on? >> No, he's talking about streaming and like now. >> Oh. >> Yeah, cuz people his generation do that. >> Oh, I see. I see. >> Yeah, exactly. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it. >> Not pay for the service? You know what's the craziest like, I guess like to make it even more dated, >> [gasps] >> the in the late 90s, this is I think when I was at my the height of my porn consumption was probably when I was a kid. >> [snorts] >> I was like, cuz you know like I was in the generation where like parents didn't
4:16 know anything about internet yet. So there's no reason they don't even know to monitor you online. And I think I was like maybe 13, 14 when I saw the most porn I ever seen in my life. >> Oh yeah, that's the jacking stage. >> was on it was over AOL. So in AOL you got these like little chat rooms, right? And then um what what they are is is this this this thing called list serve where somebody opens up a basically like a program that it's a tool that works with AOL that automatically runs in the it's like a chatbot. So you go in this chat room and um it'll be filled with 30 people and everybody's typing the same words. >> backslash list me and when you type that the chatbot logs that you want to receive whatever everyone else is receiving in the chat room and now in your email you just start getting bombarded with a grab bag of random
5:07 porn. >> That's that was like pre like torrent days, right? >> It's it's way pre torrent days. And it's like most of it's like highly illegal porn. It's like really hardcore ████ And I was a kid looking at this ████ And and then maybe it's a death era. Yeah, like like you would probably get raided today for looking at this ████ and I was like and I was a child. Yeah, it's absolutely bad. >> you were an underage boy looking at underage girls, is that illegal? >> Yeah. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. >> I think it is. I think you're looking at >> No, exactly what you're talking about, but I didn't know you could get porn that way. >> Yeah, so it just >> got MP3s that got Boyz II Men albums like that. >> [laughter] >> NO, YOU GO AND THEN YOU GET THE LIST and you go, "Ooh, they got Boyz II Men." And you >> yeah, yeah, yeah. So, that's >> send black and then you get it in your
5:57 email. >> So, that's the MP3 way, but then this way was it was purely for porn. And it got to the point I started I got my own listserv bot and I was hosting it myself. >> Wow. Were you like 14? And then um >> But, did you have like good internet? Cuz I remember like MP3s took like 1 hour or like 3 hours or something. >> the trick is that there's like a weird workaround. You're not actually um receiving and sending when you're the listbot. You're not receiving and sending them, you're forwarding them. So, when you forward, you don't have to download or or you just kind of like send it to the next person. So, uh this one time my dad was like asking me to like show him how to print something. And like so back in the day when porn loads, like even if And I'm just talking photos. I didn't have the videos were not even part of this whole thing. All photos. Um if you download an art file, which is like a .art, it it loads like
6:47 the first thing you see is like a blurry mess. And then a couple minutes later it's a little clearer. And then it's a little clearer and then you guys you remember how that went? >> Wow, I remember that. >> Uh and if you if you uh click away from that window, you're not going to um at least on Windows 3.1, you're not going to see that window until it finishes loading. It's going to pop up. >> Damn. >> So, it was ████ loading on the side and I was like waiting for it to load. It takes ████ forever. So, I'm showing my dad how to print this stuff. And then in the middle of him looking at the screen, it ████ finishes loading. And it's a ████ So, I don't even know what the image is yet, but it pops up. It's a ████ uh it's a naked chick in like bondage and she's like ████ like bloody and she's wrapped in in a torn American flag. >> Oh my god. >> [laughter] >> MY DAD GOES, "WHAT'S THAT?" >> Holy ████ dude. >> Oh my god.
7:37 >> And I just clicked away super fast and I was like, "What? No, nothing, huh?" And he like >> Want to see me juggle? Yeah, of course we're like we're so awkward that he doesn't even ask after that and he just goes, "Okay, well, how do you print?" >> [laughter] >> Yeah, he didn't want to get into it, right? Like shocking. The image was so shocking. It's like gore porn and Well, it was like one of those ones you could tell like she was whipped or something. You know, like it was like a bondage porn thing, but she was wrapped in the American flag. >> That's so weird. [laughter] >> Like, "Damn, my son's ████ weird." >> Yeah. He >> He's probably like, "At least it was a girl." >> That's true. >> Yeah. >> That's um the AOL days were wild. I think that's where like If you think about like when something was like an unregulated thing, that's the freaking craziest era. >> Lemon party, brother. Clown That was unregulated as hell.
8:28 >> I mean, that you can still find that. >> I'm sure. Does that sound crazy today? >> That's pretty chill. >> Well, well pepper, you ever you ever see lemon party? >> No, I want to. >> Yeah, you do. You definitely do. >> Is it lemons and stuff? >> Uh it's a party. >> Oh, ████ >> Well, what was the clever way that you in your era? >> Um porn. >> You're already spoiled. You already had videos and stuff. >> It was pretty easy. >> Well, when did you first come across like any form of porn? >> My my friend showed me when I was like like 12 or 13. Um hentai. >> Oh. >> Oh, okay. >> Like teen like teen titan porn? >> Teen Titan porn is crazy. [laughter] >> What is teen I don't even know what I don't even know what Teen Titan is. >> Genji. >> Like a >> Cartoon show. >> Is that Oh. >> Robin and stuff. >> So, you seen Robin getting ████ hard and stuff? >> Batman. [laughter] It was Robin and Raven.
9:18 >> Raven even? >> He's going crazy. And I was like, "Woah." >> [laughter] >> What episode is this? >> And then um I like, "Bro, don't I don't want to see that s███." And then And then when he left I like I looked it back up. >> [laughter] [gasps] >> And then um >> You're really sick, okay? You're really sick. Get out of here. And then you start you want to be alone with it? >> Right. >> Search history? What was that again? >> Yeah, didn't hide it important. And then but but I didn't really try to hide it too much cuz I always see my dad watching porn. >> What? >> [laughter] >> Where is he watching porn? On his phone? On the TV? >> He so lazy. He pulled up this we had a computer and he put on this like table he pulled up TO HIS BED. >> [laughter] >> IT'S not lazy, that's industrious. >> You know what I mean? >> It makes sense. Smart. So he's just watching porn laying in bed? >> He would leave it there and then I go wake him up to drive me to school and it
10:08 would just be there like there still. >> Just it's still playing while he's sleeping? >> And it's like some Asian massage thing or like a nail nail tech thing probably. [laughter] >> Shut up. Is your mom laying in the same bed? >> Yeah, but I don't know if she's she she she probably saw that. >> [laughter] >> That's crazy. >> If the setup is like this, I'm sure she's seen it. >> Like yeah, this this is the bed and it's just like this. Yeah, he just >> That's funny, dude. [snorts] >> Yeah, and I'm like oh, it's fine then. >> Yeah, you know he'd just be doing it. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's cool. It's not that taboo if everyone's doing it. >> Yeah. And I didn't know how to jerk off at first. I would just rub >> And then you looked at your dad and your dad was JUST >> [laughter] >> YEAH. OH. THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT. >> THAT'S CRAZY. >> I would just rub my dick on stuff. >> Oh, well Bart did too. >> Oh yeah, that's what it feels like. >> Like like on the floor and ████ >> He would do it on poles exclusively.
10:59 >> [laughter] >> Couches couches were good. >> No, like I would the first time I think I ever like had a orgasm this was like in second grade and I didn't even know cuz I'm just climbing this pole cuz I like to climb and then when I climbed to the I stood on a tether ball. I climbed to the top I could have sworn I ████ busted nuts. I was oh, this feeling feels so good. I didn't know. I would just tell all my friends, hey, does your dick tickle at the top of the pole? And they're like what are you talking about? So every day during all of second grade the first thing I would do during recess is climb the pole first before I go play. And then later on when I started jacking off I was like, "Oh, that's what the dick tickling was. I was just having orgasms at the top of the pole." >> And would you rub it and stuff? >> I probably was humping the ████ out of it. >> the teachers were just sitting there sipping coffee and they're like, "This kid's always humping this ████ >> It probably really looked obvious when you really think about it. >> [laughter] >> They're like, "What the ████ is going on
11:49 right there?" >> And he busts a nut at THE VERY TOP LIKE, >> [laughter] >> HE DOESN'T [laughter] EVEN GET TO THE TOP. HE'S JUST >> SO funny if you don't even remember that you were moaning. >> [laughter] >> Oh my god, that was so viral. >> Cuz I didn't even know. I didn't even know what the hell I was doing. I was It just felt so good. >> to the pole, too. >> Probably. >> [laughter] [snorts] >> Cuz cuz you use so much energy. >> It just felt too good. I didn't even know what the hell that was. But I was just ████ poles the whole time. >> you, porn man? What happened with you when when you were a kid? >> Oh, me? >> Not you. >> Ah, dude. >> course. >> No, sex haver. >> Clever ways? Oh, I don't even know. I What I do randomly remember is when I was in computer class for summer school
12:39 in like ninth grade or going into ninth or going into tenth grade or something like that. I don't know. I was in computer class and uh this dude next to me brought this like disc cuz you know back then you would just burn a bunch of files to a CD. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you know during break with low volume you pop somebody would pop this ████ in and just open up the media player at school. Oh my god. And then it became a thing and then like we burned copies of it. Uh and then next thing you know like a random group of degenerate horny ass kids knew to come to like during break to just come to the computer class and huddle around our corner. >> Damn. >> And we would just play random videos and just get full >> And teachers weren't in there? >> No, not during the break cuz they thought we would just be playing games. >> Wow. >> Cuz there were things like ████ Minesweeper or whatever that you would just >> [laughter] >> pop back up. They're like, "Ah, Minesweeper's popular." >> Yeah.
13:30 >> For real though, right? Like you would just hell of pop that ████ back up and when you somebody and min- minimize the other windows and nobody would know anything. >> Yeah, dude. >> And and we just and we just started burning these CDs and just [laughter] handing them out to people. What do you remember was on the CDs specifically? >> No, but there's only one thing I do remember and it was like Debbie Does Dallas. >> that's a classic. But that's like a That's so old. You guys were looking at normies. >> Normie. That's normies. >> That's 70s. >> I don't think it was the OG one. I think it was like a remake. >> A remake? >> I think so. >> a sequel. >> Oh, there is a >> I'm sure, yeah. >> I'm not sure. Look, there were lots of them, but I I thought you were talking about the original. >> And there might have been some like Kobe Thai footage. >> There you go. That's what I want to hear. >> Dude, Girls Gone Wild. >> Asian excellence. Dude, Girls Gone Wild was in my era, too. That's what was being passed around. >> That was all That was the one that got passed. >> And the file The file was always GGW
14:21 1975. Yeah. >> That was a good era. >> It was like being circulated like crazy. >> For all the porn I've watched, never seen one Girls Gone Wild. >> Do you know who Sunny Leone is? >> There's no way. >> He's 26. >> Kobe Thai, I remember her. >> Yeah, Sunny Leone. >> So, there'd be specific like >> She's like the Tony Hawk of >> [laughter] >> porn of Asian porn. >> But she's never did porn. >> She never did porn, but she's like Oh, you know what? She's like the Tony Hawk of OnlyFans. >> [laughter] >> She's like an import model. Now I get it. >> Find There's a new There's got to be a nude picture though. >> It looks so old, bro. >> There's like a Find a nude picture. >> want me to just type nude right now? >> Yeah, type nude. >> Why is your safe search on? I've never seen her nude. >> She's a dude. Yeah. Bro, she's a Dude, you got Your safe search is hella on.
15:11 >> I'm running a podcast show here. >> Oh, you're right. It is on. >> You said it's Patreon. >> All right, it is Patreon. >> I don't think we could do nude on Patreon. >> We're going to find out, boys. >> Bart's Bart's the boss and he's making me click >> Oh, that milk one I had on my binder. >> Oh, yeah, I've seen this one. >> I've seen that one. >> See, that's the that's the Tony Hawk of Only Fans. >> The Tony [laughter] Hawk. >> She's the Bones Brigade. >> The OG.
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