0:00 We get there, I pull the cart, she puts a purse in the cart, we go somewhere, she goes, "Watch the purse." And he's just like, I'm like, "Why the ████ did we bring the purse? Like, I got my ████ phone and my wallet in my pocket. You got pockets? Why the ████ did we bring the purse?" >> Costco cards this big. Just put the Costco card in the pocket. >> Like, it's not even Dude, I I'm literally hold I'm paying anyway. >> All right, this is a question for the guys out there, for the boys, okay? Do you like going to Costco with your wife? >> On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you love coming to Costco with your wife? >> Zero. >> Get out. >> On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you love coming to Costco with your >> Zero. >> Wow. Negative? >> number? >> Zero. >> Are they serious? >> On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you love coming to >> Without her, 10. >> 1 to 10, how much do you love coming to
0:50 Costco with your wife? >> Zero. >> On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you love coming to Costco with >> Oh, zero. I love going by myself. She's over there. >> I'm there all the time, so I probably give it a 9 or 10. >> Oh, wow. 9 or 10? >> He can't even say it out loud. He goes, "Zero." >> Minus >> Zero. >> How much do you love coming to Costco with your wife? >> 8 out of 10. >> What's the number? >> I guess zero. >> On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you love coming with your wife? >> Zero. >> How much do you like coming to Costco with your wife? >> Zero. >> Dude, this is actually really funny. It's funny it's either 10 or zero. It's always the really, really old people that are still with their wives. That's
1:40 the successful marriage part. I think they're just like still stuck to the successful marriage part. >> with Costco with your with your wife? What do you guys >> I like Costco with or without my wife. I love Costco. >> They're two They're two completely different experiences though. >> Okay, >> Are they really? What's Okay, yeah, what's your experience? >> Okay, so I'm going to go just base off of like logic and like practicality, right? Because my wife works as an OT and is basically Monday through Friday regular working hours. Her Costco's are weekends and nights when all the other people are there. It is a pain in the ass. >> Okay. >> It's It's either It's either weekday Costco after >> It's like going to Mogadishu. It's really bad. >> Mogadishu? >> It's It's after 4:00 or 5:00 p.m. on a weekday or it's weekend, which is >> Feels like Black Friday shopping. >> I see. I see. I see. Okay. >> You're getting rear-ended by Chinese ladies with ████ big carts. Your ankles all ████ sore from everyone
2:31 smacking into you. >> Number two, Costco for guys, I think is a very like It's like a hidden gem of like a hypocrite's like island for us because on the one hand, every other place that we go, it's like, "Here's the list. Boom, boom, bam, that's the list, right?" So, if I go to Costco with my wife and she's like, "This is what we got to get." I'm thinking, "Boom, boom, bam, that's all we got to get." She's like, "Every ████ aisle we got to walk down, right?" But, I say hypocrite because if I'm by myself, I suddenly feel like I get to walk down every aisle myself for myself at my pace. I would never do that when I'm with her. >> Interesting. >> Really, why? >> When I'm with her, I feel like I got a job to do. >> cuz she's going to look at whack ████ >> She looks at whack ████ >> Then you go look at other whack ████ then. >> I do look at whack ████ That's what Costco is though. >> Yeah, I just don't get why it's such a
3:22 dread for them. >> The amount of times I've gone to Costco and literally sat there for like 10 minutes and been like, "Am I going to get this Blackstone griddle?" Ooh. Am I? >> Damn, that's a good thing to get though. >> Right? Or am I going to sit here and get this entire outdoor, you know, surveillance camera security package? Am I? >> I don't know. Did you get the Kirkland Nikes? >> I I I did look. I did look. I'm not going to lie. >> I looked too. By the way, they're ugly. They're hella ugly. >> They are kind of ugly. Yeah. >> Oh, is it cuz if you go by yourself or maybe the other guys could to it. When you go by yourself, when you're looking at something, you have the time to think and be in your own thoughts, versus if you were there with your wife, they're immediately going to throw their two cents what you're looking at. >> I think that's the the the the practical concept of it, but I think it's actually more primitive than that. I think when I'm with my wife, if I'm like
4:14 lackadaisical, she's like, "Hey, we got to do this." Cuz she doesn't want me to do that. I think if I'm if I'm like just straight to whatever she wants, she's happy. So, even if she's like focused, or if she's like chilling, she's just happy as long as I'm right there holding the cart, watching the bag, by her side, on her whim. >> That's why Costco sucks with chicks. I get it. Cuz that's that sounds like ████ >> Cuz they just want you to be with them. >> We just need to be there. >> While they're doing their thing. >> Right. >> Which is what happens when I go to Target with Nikki. Me and Nikki don't go to Costco cuz Costco's too overwhelming for her. Like she can't handle it. Like it's too many people around. But we go to Target, this ████ goes to the makeup aisle, and I'm like, "I'll see you in ████ 45 minutes to an hour." Like it's like she it's like she Interstellar, she goes down to the planet, and she comes back,
5:04 and I'm older. Like the makeup aisle is ████ for me. Yeah, and I'm I'm and I'm like and I'm like, "I thought you were never coming back." >> Oh, yeah, that's right. I think some women take forever. >> Forever. >> So, these guys look defeated. They're on the cart like, "We've been here for two hours." >> probably just like waiting. >> ████ don't make lists, right? >> But Costco is so fun that guys could enjoy it, too. It's so so you want to enjoy it, but the only way you can enjoy it is if you go by yourself. >> So, me me and me and Geo are both introverts. So, both of us are trying to get the ████ out as soon as possible. So, it's always fun cuz we have the same mission and goal. Grab the ████ and get the ████ out. >> Max is the same way, too. She just wants to get of there. >> You You don't browse? >> I browse when I'm going through our list, which Jill has a list too. We look at stuff and I just browse from afar
5:55 like that. Cuz I'm like Cuz I like to get the ████ out of there. >> This ████ is ████ Disneyland for Nina as an introvert. She doesn't talk to anybody or ████ share any energy. She's just in her own world. We have something where we call it like usually when I travel or when I leave, she goes on what we call the world tour. Why you laughing? >> It's just funny. >> Dude, she does the world tour and I'm talking about every single time she has to go to like Sprouts and Marshalls and TJ Maxx and World Market and ████ Whole Foods and Savers and Costco and it's like It's like what you do is like oh, I did the world tour this weekend. >> Cuz she just likes to shop. >> Yeah, she just likes to just be around there and take her time because she knows that She knows that I'm I also think it's a zero fun with her. So sometimes she's just like just let me do my thing.
6:45 >> Dude, World Market's the most boring store ever maybe other than Michaels. >> They got cool stuff in there. >> Cost Plus World Market is actually kind of fun. >> World Market? World Market? I could pour gasoline on on myself in World Market and light a match, dude. I >> I'm curious how they make money. >> I I Same. >> Cuz I'm just It's just a bunch of random ████ >> cuz of ████ >> The randomest ████ >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got a wood crate and a ████ peach from Greece or some ████ >> ████ thermometer this big. >> Masterfully curated for women for sure, yeah. >> So good though. And Savers or or or Goodwill or anything? >> All the thrift store everything? >> I just don't like that World Market's full of Wayfair furniture and they price it up like Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 500 X. >> When you're at World Market and you see other dudes, they look like they got beat up. It's like It's like guys when they're in um um what's that makeup shop? Sephora? Sephora, dude, it's like That's like
7:35 guys who just look like they got whipped and beaten and they're just down in life. Sephora is the worst. >> worst. >> Cuz also you walk in and then you're already like, "I'm getting cancer from this." I don't know how you do it. >> At least it's a mall so you can walk away and go to, you know, GameStop. >> No, but if it's not in the mall, bro. >> I think Oh my god, you're going to Sephora's outside of malls? >> They used to have those. >> Holy ████ that's scary. >> Street's only Trader Joe's so you're going to get ████ hit with shopping carts and ████ >> to see how how these guys shop together cuz it's probably what you said about how like when they're together, they just have to guard the cart while she runs around and she goes, "Come over here. I need you over here." And they're just getting like yelled at the whole time and then they're just in trouble. >> Dude, it's all the time. It's always like we get there, I pull the cart, she puts a purse in the cart, we go somewhere, she goes, "Watch the purse." And you're just like, "I'm like, why the ████ did we bring the purse?" >> Yeah. >> Like I got my ████ phone and my
8:25 wallet in my pocket. You got pockets, why the ████ did we bring the purse? >> card's this big. Just put the Costco card in the pocket. >> Like it's not even Dude, I I'm literally hold I'm paying anyway. Why'd you even bring your wallet? >> Is there a place where it's a now this is your Costco and then the roles are >> flipped? >> They got rid of it. Fry's Electronics. >> OH, DUDE. >> THAT WAS THE DOPEST. AND IT WAS LIKE, "HEY, I GO TO TARGET FOR YOU, YOU COME TO FRY'S ELECTRONICS with me." And they got rid of it, man. Oh, we we live in a patriarchy though, I guess. >> That's all we had, man. >> But do you guys You guys shop together? >> Now we got to go to Micro Center. >> Cuz when Hannah needs to do like her ████ she knows that like she doesn't like thinking like I'm waiting cuz it bothers her. So she just does her own ████ when she shops. >> We like going to Target together, but the the the fait accompli is always when she
9:15 goes in the makeup aisle. That's always it. Like I'm like, I got to get out of here. She's going to zone out. >> She just leaves the house, goes by herself, and you stay home? >> Yeah. Well, I mean, but if we go somewhere and we need to get some ████ >> Bart's like, "I've never heard that." >> Cuz usually I feel like the errands are like coupled with the meal, right? So it's like you're you're going to go get lunch and then get Target afterwards. So we're always already together to do the thing or whatever. >> My my problem, and this is very bad and I need to work on this. I'm openly admitting this as a friend, is that I I need to understand what my goals are for the day. So, if you're just like, "Hey, we need to go here." That's fine. Let's go there. Let's go tag that thing. Let's get that errand checked off the list. But then if we go there and we accomplish that and then I feel a sense of accomplishment and then he's like, "Can we stop by here, too?" Cuz we need to do this. I got to like a two-place stop by threshold before I go,
10:06 "Why didn't we ████ talk about the game plan?" So, I knew that I had six errands to run. Because when I plan out a feeling, it's just a feeling. I'm not saying I need things planned to a T and I'm not spont- I don't have that spontaneity. I'm just saying like, you know, with a guy it's like when you have ████ you got to get done, it ████ feels so sick to get all your ████ done for the day and then you feel this like euphoria of freedom. Like like ████ carpe diem sees that you could do anything. >> I could play Red Dead Redemption 2 right now, brother. >> Yeah, I get you. >> it's like you finish one or two things and I'll let's stop by here, too. That ████ ████ kills me and it shouldn't. It shouldn't. I'm being a piece of ████ It shouldn't. I need to be a better I or I need to preemptively understand that that's that's the day. >> I'm I'm so glad Joe's an introvert cuz we never have that. It's actually the opposite. We have four things we need to do. Halfway through, ████ it. We'll just
10:57 buy it via Amazon and go home. Cuz we're both We're both We're both tired of people. We're like, "Oh, ████ There's so many goddamn ████ people. We'll ████ it. We'll We'll buy it via online. ████ it. ████ it. ████ it." >> I feel like I just realized that we don't drive that much. That's why it's possible. That's Hawaii. Like right next to my office, there's like a Ross and a Target and then the store's right there. >> What if you have to go to like a Lowe's or something or Home Depot? >> You typically don't have to. But if it's Home Depot, I'm doing it. She doesn't need anything from Home Depot. Yeah, and then we actually get stuff from Costco almost every day. So, I get a pallet from Costco. So, I could place my order cuz I get Costco business, and they ████ bring a whole pallet and drop it off. Yeah, and then we do Instacart. So, then but I actually like just going to Costco. So, if I get to go to Costco >> So, you get it delivered and then you still go there. >> Cuz sometimes you got to sometimes you
11:48 just run out of ████ milk or some ████ right? And you just have to go. But like yeah, since I the off hours thing, I think that's a thing. Cuz I never want to go on a weekend. I'd rather just be like ████ it, we're just going to run out of milk. I'll go ████ early Monday morning. But dude, that when everyone when everyone's shopping together, it is just like ████ man. Like it the lines are ████ long. I think the one in Hawaii the Costco we go to, it's the most busiest Costco in the world. >> In the world? >> remember that movie Idiocracy? >> Hawaii Costco is crazy. >> It's ████ crazy, dude. >> Cuz it's like the one of the only ones or something? >> Well, it's just a densely populated place. >> Me and Jill were driving to the parking lot and just go home. We won't even get out. It's like that. What is it like? Cuz I both me and Jill probably like Nikki. >> I thought when they opened You know how they opened the Costco by Durango?
12:39 >> Yeah. >> So, that basically split the like Summerlin Costco. I thought I was like, "Dude, I can't wait for Summerlin Summerlin to be less busy, the Red Rock Costco." >> Yeah, that's >> Ain't never been less busy in ████ 1 second. >> You got to go Monday morning. >> That's just insane. >> The trick is Monday morning. By the way, meet HelloJKFans at the Costco in Summerlin. >> Me, too. I love Costco though, man. I ████ with it all day. If Hannah gets lost and stays there for like an hour, I'm like, "Cool, I'mma look at meat for an hour." >> What's a splurge thing that you've been looking at Costco that you're kind of like >> Pinball machine. They had one in December. It was sick. >> A pinball machine? >> Yeah, they had a Star Wars pinball machine for like a month. >> Star Wars one? >> Yeah, dude. I was ████ with it for like 25 minutes in there. I don't even have space for this, but I always eye this big ass ████ huge couch that they got. >> It's like this. >> It's viral on TikTok. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
13:29 yeah. >> Dude, I was like, if I had the space, man. >> That cat who gave his wife a three out of 10 was sitting on it. By the way, he he had it figured out. He's like, or no, he said he gave his wife a I think he said like seven out of 10. But he had it figured out. He's like, I'm going to go sit on the couch. You do your thing. Like that's smart. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, yeah, that that's pretty chill. But imagine your wife's not there and you get to just look at all the things you want to Sometimes you want to spend extra time looking at ████ windshield wipers and just see how much the price is on that. Sometimes you you just want to be there. And then that's And in that same aisle there's a bucket of car cleaner. And there's a bucket there's the whole Mr. Wash whatever ████ and you're just like, should I Should I get this next to the ████ Do I need another head flashlight two-pack? Do I need one? I don't know. Yeah, they do two-pack. >> I just grab it and then regret it later. >> No, see I did this. I ████ I saw this
14:19 KitchenAid ████ uh like little oven mitt thing cuz I'm like starting to do all the like cooking at the house cuz you know you can't do anything. And I was like, dude, I'mma ████ get this. This is like a good-looking oven mitt thing, right? I got it. I brought it home. She was like, no, but we have these other ones that were gifted to us that are like all dirty and ugly. She's like, but they're but they're useful and she's like, you should return that. And I was like, all right. And I returned it. And I had I had ████ maybe maybe 40 minutes 40 minutes of thinking I was like, I got something sick for the house. Till I got home. And then here's the payload. She's like, we don't need that. You should return it. Every time I'm at Costco, quickly before Ken ████ us. I always look at this toaster that has like it has like double doors little French doors that opens up and it's a toaster. And I always dream. I just stand in front of it and dream. Because
15:09 me and Nikki went for our wedding. >> Is that Breville or whatever? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and Nikki the silver doors one. Me and Nikki for our wedding we got a Hello Kitty toaster and every time I use it I just feel like a ████ ████ >> That sounds hella gay. >> I know. I just want to I just want a toast that men can use. But I can't have it. I have just have to dream. So I dream instead. >> Also, I can't buy alcohol when I'm with Nina. >> What? >> But it's so cheap there. >> Why don't Why don't you buy it with her? >> Cuz it's probably too big. >> No, I just buy one when I'm by myself. Less questions. >> you sneak it in the house? >> Yeah, I always go like this. >> How do you bring it in the house? >> I always go like this when I'm like with her. I look at that aisle. >> Like, "Babe, it's three for one. I got to go. I got to I got to I got to get it on."
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