0:00 [Music] guys it is with uh great despair that i must announce i don't know that cnn plus is no longer going to be continued oh no where am i gonna get my news now only weeks after they're released cnn plus is no longer who the ████ was gonna buy that judging by bart's face that's the most average reaction of everybody what the hell is that i know i'm like what the ████ is the difference between nobody ever was interested nobody ever knew no one asked for it no one wanted it that's why was it like the behind the scenes of the ████ news channel the extra content what other pluses are there's espn to us it was just a bunch of like original like they had some original content you buy santa and pay-per-views i don't even think that
0:51 was yeah it's like sanjay gupta vlogs or something hey guys what's up more cnn stuff it's just stuff that you don't like and then uh i mean what was on there like there was like a jessie smelly documentary on there for real i think yeah but i don't know if you guys finished not wanting but from his side but he's innocent they should have if i did it but him yeah i should have done like in in detail like astrology or something like if you pay for this you'll have very accurate astrology yeah i mean that would have got it plus yeah that's like flush i really need to know my future the crazy thing is even as i'm like reading it and trying to um like i looked at the list of stuff they were offering like what was it i was falling asleep even reading [Laughter] i was just like i don't know what any of this ████ who's running cnn right now because i feel like out of all the alphabet agencies um the the news agencies cnn is getting it the worst with
1:43 everyone's like you guys are the most fakest ████ pieces of s████ and the main thing is because they claim to be nonpartisan right originally well what are they leaning i think their biggest is when they went after joe rogan and they ████ lost that battle i think that's when that was bad and they put the halloween filter on him yeah yeah common man of uh that people that watched joe rogan a lot yeah you're gonna ████ lose come on dude they they took up the biggest l are they the ones that said he ate horse yeah horse medicine and then they they took his video and they distorted it made them look like sickly and green but yeah that's a huge massive loss because they did invest a s███████ of money i don't i don't think i feel like the number is like they're just trying to keep it under wraps but yeah they uh a whole lot of people were you know that and a lot of people are losing your job see which sucks but they're getting like
2:33 six months severance for them failing this so it's not bad it's pretty that's pretty freaking good budget geez like we effed up everybody on the team gets six months well i guess because the worst thing that could happen after this is people complaining and then there's a documentary about everyone getting ████ over because of this so it's like that yeah because if you give them severance and you know you don't have to give severance right you know it's not the thing you have to do but if you do offer it you can put a little claws don't talk about this don't say ████ because i gave it to you right that's the freaking people's worst nightmare now it's just a documentary about whatever happened see what they do firefest yeah they're doing freaking uh there's like they might do like an america's next top model one because apparently like i'd watch that when you look back they were like treated really badly like all the models oh wow like anything that ever existed pre like woke era is now like under scrutiny for life
3:23 remember that show the swan do you guys remember that no it's that the swan was a show on like fox 11 it was around the time like american idol was popular and they would just give you plastic surgery like they would get like they would market it as you get like a really ugly person and they look at themselves in the mirror and they'd be like crying they talk about like what they hate about themselves and then they do a makeover and then the end of the episode they don't let them look at themselves at all during this process and then they make them look in the mirror for the first time and they start crying and they they do this whole thing but it's all plastic surgery yeah and it was called the swan is that bad or is that good well like a good damn bad now yeah like you do that ████ today no way because because today they would say the person the reason why that person doesn't like themselves is because of us socially it's like society has created an image of beauty that they don't meet
4:13 i didn't need a magazine to tell me somebody's ugly seven ways to tell if you're ugly all right like i knew as a ████ child bro it's just a mirror on the ████ night reason number one is just a foil piece before you could even speak you know someone if if they're attractive or like they have a good look to them or like they're they're clean and they're friendly and you know you could tell that and you could tell a ████ disgusting person that doesn't take care of themselves walking around on the street with ████ boogers hanging out their nose you know that's you what the hell is that the guy from men in black you don't even need to be a human being like if you had ████ bunch of lion lionesses right and you had like a mufasa ████ all the lionesses
5:03 want to ████ him you know me like that the beauty thing it's like people do put a lot of it on society i understand a little bit of that exists but i think a lot of it also just is innate in us to try to find the prime like mate for ourselves right we're all trying to find a mufasa yeah dude ████ whoever you know mother effing scarface is always trying to freaking yeah scarface smartphones don't get no ████ dude rap group the rap group bro you never sat next to somebody on a bus and you're like oh why on a bus can you say it that loud on the airport shuttle to the drop-off i don't know i think because a lot of it is just like hygiene like that's you know determines if you're beautiful or not or like another one is like
5:53 like fitness like if you're physically fit it's like i want to make kids with you yeah you know like so there's like naturally counting them up what about like like skin like skin's a big thing you know like like if we have skin problems like i have eczema right it's unattractive because it's like bad genes it's not because society is like oh you know they're shining eczema it's like no everybody looks at it and goes i look at it and i'm like oh that's this that's that's disgusting i need to lotion this ████ you know what if you have a big nose not me but like not this beautiful you're trying to point out your nose is nice okay your nose is great i don't know but it to me it's like it's i don't think it's like that bad where people are like i'm a vomit if i see your face like if it's a big nose no one's gonna vomit you know some people might yeah
6:45 people will like shame you for how you look normally even if you are healthy hygienic whatever some people just don't look good that's true right yeah some things are just unaesthetically what are some examples of faces where you would throw up on oh man a person who's throwing up probably because you know why like the guy that was throwing water at mike tyson that guy i saw him and i just oh man i just want to punch him he did have a punch he has that face he looks like randall from recess he's always like telling on everybody he looked like that guy looks like he sucks you know they say like the beauty is in the eye of the beholder right i really believe that because i think some things that are considered traditionally ugly sometimes i think is adorable or cute or imperfections i feel like so like a pug right it's like an ugly cute or like or like a bulldog you look at their face and it's like man you ████ deformed fat wrinkly cute ████ like yeah right yeah that's
7:35 true subjective yeah it is it's just even for people another man's trash is another man's treasure so you have this like ugly ugly person that's like your go-to like your woman yeah freaking you find her beautiful everybody's like oh like shallow hell exactly shallow hell so i don't think there's like a blanket at least for me because like they'll be like instagram models and ████ and everyone's like oh my god i ████ throw so hard for it i'm like oh her like she looks weird like she looks like a plastic creature you know like not one wrinkle on that body it looks manufactured like it is i want organic not gmo you know like i don't know what about do you think it's possible let's say that you were like you spent like three months with a group of 15 people and this girl who was in there is conventionally ugly but the other like 13 people all conspired together to treat her like she was the finest girl
8:26 on the planet do you think that would happen in your mind where you would also accept that because you know like if it's decided i think that happens to uh ugly dudes actually i think ugly dudes that like end up becoming more famous or successful people look at him as like greater than celebrate that person yeah that's why a lot of chicks they they they're almost blind to that and it's almost about the aura and everything you know but do you think it happens to women because that's the thing that's interesting to me yes it does you ever see the hot chick with a group of ugly friends it makes the hot chick even hotter because of what she's around [Laughter] game of perspective what is it called anchoring or some ████ she's hot she's hotter in in comparison to the rest of the people she's with what about some ugly friends what about you then if you put her with 10 hot girls you're like you ain't so hot and you guys like your whatevs you know what about the ugly chicken in the hot
9:17 girl group is there a way that she becomes hotter or she just looks even worse it's like uh like in i was i've never been there but in i guess sweden or where did the vikings come from yeah like the that area sweden and finland i was told all the women in sweden are beautiful like they're all supposed to be very very like oh norway norway norway very beautiful and then they also told me because the vikings raped all the beautiful women back in the day and so that produced all this like beautiful people you object that's my objective i don't think that's true not maybe not all of them but there's a good majority why objective i just sneezed objection sneeze they would go on these raids like around uk or or england i mean uh or europe and they would kidnap all the hottest girls and bring them back and they're like wow you can keep the ugly ones and then so that's why england has all the ugly girls and then norway has all the pretty
10:08 ones they kept the pretty lovely i was told this by an english woman which is my woman so she told me that yo i benefited from somebody being really good looking in a group that we went out with his name is uh yoshi sadarsso whoever the editor is it's a little picture here bro doug we went out to eat with yoshi after we all trained and it was like me david a couple other homies they kept giving us free ████ they just kept giving us oh here here's this just because yoshi was like such a sweetheart and he's the hottest guy either of the sudarsos they they have like yoshi's not fair it's not fair oh yeah it's a superpower everyone's nice to you when yoshi's around this was like yeah [Laughter] this is um yoshi and peter's the
10:59 brothers okay yeah they look like they want to ████ each other they talk about all the time they're saying look how hot these guys are all right dude it's getting hot are you gonna have a family like that dude yeah that's not fair and they're related yeah nice good genes yeah and they're related and they probably work out too yeah that hot privilege is i think the worst imagine here's a set of ranch and my phone number and you and ████ yoshi rides a motorcycle and he takes his helmet he's like what's up guys and he's always like just doing stuff with his hair please pull him over he's like sir yes this is my helmet yes could you do that again put it on take it off right now and run that by for my partner when he gets here can i ride behind you too sir taking you downtown but i'm riding with you [Music]
11:58 [Applause] [Music] you
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