0:00 [Music] this is a this is a dumb boring question but anybody got uh least favorite airlines spirit spirit used to be spirit now jet blue ████ jet blue oh why i took them here one time they delayed my flight twice and then when i was on the flight it was it was actually really s█████ they used to have the number one i thought they were the best i thought i thought they were ████ too yeah and then i dealt with them recently i was like oh yo y'all trash wait they don't they don't compensate you like because every time jetblue uh this is pre-pandemic every time i had a late flight i didn't even have to request like or complain they would just say we're giving you a discount and we're charging we're giving you back some money for our for your inconvenience no how about the the the
0:50 the dope snack tray when they walked around with the blue chips all right all right i ████ with that snack all right you know what you know what you know the sanctuary yeah it's true yeah fine fine i don't want you over there i had a pop edge fine listen and you can go over and get the snacks yourself because they have more right well yeah if you want more sleep can you still yeah i just took it like like last week flown around in europe have you guys heard of ryanair yeah oh yeah isn't that the jet blue of europe or the spirit yeah it's it's also really really s█████ it's like super i'm it's one of those cost-efficient airlines yeah yeah yeah but they had those costs in other areas yeah so like so like you don't like your knees are always touching the front chair like you have to pay for like ████ napkins like no yeah no person no no you gotta pay for that you gotta paint it because like a legion you can't even that's the same with spirit yeah i did
1:40 first class for spirit and the seats don't recline that's just first class for spirit is it really first time i know it's ████ yeah so there were some uh some people on holiday all right that were in disbelief with ryanair after the plane took off without them [Laughter] that's really funny how did that happen it's an empty plane that just flew off everyone's in the terminal still yeah that's so ████ good i need to look that up like that just shows where they're thinking about their customers yeah like all the way they just think about they're just thinking about time bro they just said ████ it who are they talking to when they demonstrate this oh yeah so a reported group of 14 were
2:30 stranded at palma airport in mallorca on saturday as a pilot flew off without them and the holiday goers were already checked in and had arrived at the gate on time to discover they were unable to board the plane yeah just ████ was like hey man we gotta close the door i know we can come through hey apparently the mistake was on an airport handler who operates the airport shuttle bus at palmer de mallorca so you know sometimes like especially on these more economy flights you're not going straight onto the plane you gotta go that's like from like built in like the 70s or some ████ you got to take this like jenkins bus and it takes you like 14 miles to some random place and then you get on a really really small planet yeah and that guy's name was all of our dad if you're late we're going without you we're going without you
3:20 that's the reason yeah so there was said to be no room on the final bus as you'd expect uh passengers started waiting for the next shuttle to arrive and it never came never camp what a weird thing man yeah is that ryanair it's the shuttle yeah shuttle's wall it's that airport but at the same time it's like it's ryanair you know what i mean it's it's not but also some of these flights that they'll hold for people yeah they didn't just wait yeah because i remember one time i was flying uh i was flying somewhere i think it was to canada or something and uh they were like uh i had a layover in seattle and the takeoff was like a later time like it got delayed and i was like oh what's the problem did i go weather i'm like ████ i was like it's sunny as ████ out there you're talking about weather it's tuesday and i looked at the weather in canada i was like brother no ████ way there's no ████ way
4:11 they were waiting for another plane to land so those people can make it to and it's like just say that i'm okay with that it's too sunny better yeah i thought the the flight attendant's supposed to communicate with the front desk and like is everyone checked in that's what i'm saying like even even the person when you when you have a flight right when you go to the check-in that person is checking you in is oftentimes still checking you into the actual final plane too like it's the same team that goes with you all the way and sometimes they're even the stewardess on the flight yeah you know what i'm saying so it's kind of like if if they walk you in at the beginning they need to walk you all the way into the flight and off their fault my little my little brother is an air traffic controller or used to be and dude he's told me some ████ up story like give us the ████ though yeah that's cool it's like you know he's like yeah so i guess a lot of us should have been out on the floor but we were
5:02 playing mario kart in the back like ████ like that right this kid drives everywhere now he doesn't ████ fly anymore i thought air traffic controllers was like one of the most stressful jobs in the world it's got to be stressful so i got decoy i think that was them decompressing playing ████ car real quick on the job though decompress after work everyone everyone's a human being it's like those surgeons doing tick tocks and stuff and the guy's guts are all out i don't know i think there's tears to that human being no i like that you're right you went to the ████ humanize them bro yeah do you remember when this ████ happened to us in detroit ████ detroit out of all places right like we were on a delta flight and then it was like a transfer or something like that we'd get there and then so we had a couple hours before flight we're like all right cool we checked in let's go
5:52 grab some burger king yeah whatever we went to the front desk and stuff and then they're like oh no your flight's not ready yet so i'm like alright cool we're gonna go eat this burger king so we go eat burger king we come back and then always eat that so the door is closed and then we're early like it says on the ticket you know be there before this time whatever whatever and then we're like we're early and we're like we see the plane right there can we get on and they're like uh the doors closed once it's closed you can't get on i'm like you guys closed it before the it says boarding on the ticket i first just said they didn't let you on no no no she said they left already i'm like no it's right there yeah there's a window like once they close the door they can't open it again yes they can the gaslight
6:42 airlines i know right yeah right here there's no plane bro that's an they shut that door and then they oh my god there's a fire in there and then they look at the pilot they're just like open it no we can't open it you know that already i know i just holding the glass i'm like the plane's right there let us go on and then they literally wouldn't let y'all know we were within the boarding time and i think it was a small flight because it was one of those transfer ones okay and so like they thought that everyone was there so they just shut the gates and then because of protocol they're like we can't open it back up and i'm like but you guys shut the gate early so technically you can open it back up because it's still within the boarding time window true and then they started interpreting the ticket to me to me and they're like no it says on or before this time and i'm like yeah
7:32 that's on or before and they were looking at me like i didn't know you know they tried to hit you with it i thought you were stupid i'm like brother try to install your intelligence on or before and i'm like before it's 45 minutes before the flight like you know what you're like my ████ ex wow you're not listening to me yeah they're like they're like saying it's slow like you know when you talk to someone dumb they're like on or before they were looking at me and part like like do you know english and i was like what the ████ it is i'm eating airport burger king i'm an american clearly overpriced 90 dollars of ████ bags and then we're just like so what are we going to do now and then they're like uh we'll just get you on the next flight
8:22 and we're like cool tomorrow morning at 6 00 a.m and i'm like what are we gonna do and then they just basically got us like vouchers to stay across the street at a hotel and then we just knocked out for like four hours and then we just got up early and left and i was like that was the weirdest experience i've ever had yeah yeah that though i recently found out i think all the uh airline rules are actually optional so i was flying wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait where are you yeah so i'll so you know usually you go through tsa you gotta take off your shoes you got this whole ordeal right not if you've got pre-check yeah and i signed up for pre-check and doesn't show up on my ████ boarding pass but anyways like the uh the escalator and the elevator was shut down so there's this huge pile up right and then out of nowhere the tsa guy gets up on like the uh the loudspeaker thing and he was just like all right everyone keep your laptops in
9:12 your backpack don't take off your shoes only walk through the metal detectors and all of a sudden that big ass pileup it just cleared up in a second and i'm like so you're telling me anytime we want we don't have to do it oh yeah this is true that that is true that's happened to me before where they're like no no no don't take your shoes off okay what what i'm like then if that's okay why don't we do this all the time because you gotta pay for it you know the answer they it's a money thing they they built out their little corporate ecosystem now where it's like hey you want the nice thing where it's easy like it used to be go pay you gotta go yeah because uh it's like pre-checks global entry it's clear they have like 18 different versions yeah yeah yeah dude it's just because you think started happening at what night after 9 11 yeah shoe bomber guy yeah tsa in general really happened after 9 11. yeah that's true yeah oh really he always had metal detector because i never traveled before 911 i'm a post 911 traveler
10:04 pre-911 traveler and i remember he saw 911 was like there was a metal detector i want to go on a plane but my mom said before before there wasn't any metal detectors you just go get your ticket and then anyone can go up to the to to the free they used to be able to smoke on planes yeah yeah before you could before even if you weren't flying you could go to the gate with your friend and you can hug them out you know what i mean oh yeah yeah anymore dude like in dumb and dumber when he chases after that yeah i'm just gonna stay he got all the way through that little tube thing yeah but then like terrorism and drug trafficking changed it all yeah changed it all man [Music]
11:06 you
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