0:00 [Music] and then if you want to ask questions the only way is if you join our patreon so make sure you join the patreon thank you very much yeah this guy is really cool this dude is um Bolivian he's not Bolivian but oh actually he might be I don't know he's um he's in med school he's a really good dude wow he's asked this question that I feel like is really important and now that Colleen's here with us today it'll be really uh good to hear from her how do you maintain your confidence so it doesn't go into full-on Cockiness there's a clear difference if you can't tell you stupid whoa and feel free to join our patreon if you want to get yelled at by Joe I think for some people that you know so it's hard to find that line if it's your first time treading it don't
0:51 you think maybe explore a variety of different hobbies that you're not innately good at so you can be humbled in it oh that's actually really good you should have been the one to say that idiot can I can we start the video again take her answer start no that is really good yeah confidence to Cockiness well like what she said is that like if you take on different challenges different Hobbies it helps keep you grounded and humbled yeah that's true I think everyone is cocky as ████ but some people are better at masking it mhm than other people cuz I actually don't believe in this ████ humble ████ where people are like no where people are like no where people are just like I'm humble well that that's a you're not
1:42 oxymoron yeah you're not you're actually think the people who are asking that question aren't going to run into that problem because they're self-aware enough to not be cocky right yeah I guess I think what what uh what Eris Escobar is asking is that I think he understands that confidence is a very like uh admired trait in men sure but how do you achieve that a lot of men overshoot that a lot when they think they're trying to display it I think where I think the difference is calmness versus trying to prove calmness is that's interesting cuz Co okay so Cockiness comes from insecurity it always is generated by that energy of like like I'm better than you it's like well why do you even have to notice that like that means you're focused on it right or like you you you think you are
2:33 the ████ best and maybe you are temporarily and it and and you feel like on top of the world cuz you work so hard for it but that's a vulnerability cuz you're just like your identity is so much into that external thing it could be taken away from you but confidence is a different feeling of like it it just almost seems like you don't give a ████ but you do but it's not it's not it's not like you give a ████ to where like you're like you're like lazy about it it's more like um chill about it okay that's my take Al I think you're worried about others perceiving it to be Cockiness right cuz like there's some people who will always perceive confidence as Cockiness and that's the them problem that's a good point yeah it's not always your fault I mean I think that this is um this is actually a little bit more specific and nuanced
3:23 right if he's asking about men showing confidence without going to Cockiness then it's relative to like why he wants to be in that position to feel or show that so he's probably talking about like in a a relationship or significant other like attracting a partner which in that situation and this is an assumption but in that situation there is a flare of peacocking that has to be done to show confidence but to not come off as overly cocky cuz I think that's different if we're just talking about confidence and Cockiness then I think it's easier to separate that like you you you're ████ really really good at something you're a black Bel in something it's it's more easy to be like I'm going to I'm not going to go around and wear my black belt cuz I already know I can kill you that's true right you're a white build in that thing you're going to be
4:13 like yo I just started this thing yo you want to train you talk about it yeah you know what I'm saying so it's like that's different but if you're talking about in terms of a girl you can't just be purely humble and not let them know things because you need them to know that you either are self-confident and aware of what you are you need to be able to communicate that you need to be able to communicate what you want but you just can't be cocky that's that's probably more the situation he might be inferring right let me uh let me role play with Nick real quick you you give me the uh confident one first ready me give you confident one ready as you uh can see you are seated at an exit row are you prepared to assist with evacuation should there be an emergency yes okay that's yes I am does feel very
5:05 conf I am stand up I am the one that will do this it feels overly confident yeah is that that's theatrical the okay ready and then I'll uh give me the cocky okay uh hey who's uh who's a teacher at this Jiu-Jitsu Place excuse me hi how you doing my name is Nick I am a black belt Professor how are you honestly I was ready for the exit row situation that's hey how you doing yeah if you to give me the exit Row one I would have been like I was like oh I've opened so many exit doors in my day I know how to do this this is easy easy peasy ask me again same scenario but I'm Nick all right no I don't like this the dojo one sure whatever all right who here is the teacher in this lionard jiujitsu Academy anyway huh can't you tell honey oh my God honey
5:58 oh that like that makes you want to throw up I've done that I've done that I've done that a lot hone I've hollered a lot of ladies have you ever done that whenever's a sweet hot lady coming in I answer like that I go hey honey I do something like that he's like do I have consent to let you know who it is what is this audition name we got to give that character a name what is that guy's name that's cool Nick dude that's cool Nick that's cool Nick his name that's cocky that's cocky no but you say that no way you're hollering at no Honeys dude lady that's a restraining order immediately don't you think he's asking for consent you're like that's a restraining order that guyy weird so quick try try try something on St let's see let's see confident without going too cocky go
6:48 ahead go confident give him something yeah give scenario give me something confident confident just be just be confident don't be cocky hello sir how you doing see hold on respond respond I'm doing great hi uh can you teach me how to fire a gun subie wait wait can teach I teach you how to fire a gun you're a Firearms instructor I'll try it again I'm the instructor hold on can you I've never shot a gun before can you teach me how to shoot a gun good nailed it yes yes yes I have never shot a gun before can you teach me how no you're the instructor damn it's stupid one more time one more time okay hold from Top from Top I'm I'm a customer I just walked in opposite J I just walked in I I thought you're
7:39 supposed to be confident you're role playing you're role playing yeah you're supposed to be confident I'm I'm I'm like he's a confident student he's a student well he who's a I'm I'm a new Patron I'm walking in your store I've never shot a gun before and then you be confident okay ready you be confident he's a confident teacher hi I'm looking to learn how to shoot a gun do you feel like can you teach me yeah you see this buddy why you keep looking at me you see this buddy I can totally teach you how to shoot a gun should you should you have your gun out like that especially if you know what you're doing absolutely butd what you looking for I don't know who's hitting on who hold on I know who's confident we already know he's not this this is my assistant but what what are you looking for today cuz you see if you know what
8:29 you're doing you can have it out in public like this bud that's quite confidence too that's pretty confident but is that cocky as well I think that was more cocky can we just can we reel it back into something realistic let reel it back what's going on was cocky all right so so for our boy over here okay so if we are inferring once again logically that it might be on like hitting on a girl or like presenting your or something like that you put into a situation like a an actual scenario maybe like classic cliche like at the bar or something like that or going to a club if you you dress up like one homie from the from the Dragon's Den thing you're wearing like a white button up with like a leopard color or like you're peacocking that's cocky it's weird you're wearing like alligator shoes with like the metal tips you're going over the top and it's not something that's even in your natural Pro like identity that you're coming off cocky it's over
9:20 the top right but even if you're just dressed however it is you nor just but you are nice for whatever that space is you can still go up to a girl and be like and offer like hey can I buy you a drink without being like hey I own the Lamborghini outside right there there's two different you could be confident even if you're a little bit timid with it but just the fact that you're willing to approach and make a move is confident in a different way you know so like just that's confident to like go and go for what you want without needing to flare and peacock in a way that's like that that's loud some girls might like that but I'm just saying I think that's the difference in that scenario confident versus cocky today's video is brought to you by the daily drop so traveling is one of my favorite things to do and if you guys follow my
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11:00 I don't know what the ████ you guys were doing with each other was goddamn gun we were doing too man he just supposed be he was supposed to be confident and and be able to teach me but that's why he put the gun out so you do you feel that you can you teach me how to use a gun that was a scenario but it's like yelling cuz he's on the other side of the room can you teach me how to fire a gun I was trying I'm not an actor bro I'm just trying to be opposite side of the range like down the lane excuse me sir should you have your gun out like thaten what's my boy asking Colleen was just asking can you can you give us an example that you might have seen this is probably the answer you really want yeah yeah not us what the ████ what are we doing he asked me to do a scenario I mean I think I said what I thought in the beginning of this video but if I had you've seen some nice examples to like refresh your brain a little if IID give like an example of maybe what to do in
11:53 his scenario if it was a dating circumstance I would like what are you good at what are you naturally he's very smart I know he's really smart but if he's good at things that he doesn't want to tell you because he's like I could put a ping paw on my but hole and then shoot it out really far put it in a basketball he does that yeah that's more like a quk oh you know what you know what it is about him though that I do like he he already is very confident he's a really like witty guy he doesn't come off cocky to me at all which is why I'm curious why he's asking it might be what you guys said where he like maybe he doesn't know where it lands on a person of the opposite sex or something or maybe he's just overthinking it he thinks that maybe he went to a thing and that he was natural well no that he was natural at and it he was confident in it and maybe the girl took it at a certain way right or maybe
12:44 he overthought it thinking that the girl took it a certain way um my thing is always find something that you're naturally good at that is maybe you have some rapport with her and do that thing it's going to come across natural regardless yeah the I mean the guy's going to be a doctor it's cool yeah right well what about if you're delusional and then sometimes you just have a lot of positivity you want to Shadow me for a day like what if you're just delusional sometimes you have a lot of positivity and then you think you're really good at something and then you actually suck then you learn by experience that's problem then there's nothing to do yeah trial and error and if you got error 10 times you better change something well I'm really good at a lot of things but not like actually good I'm like probably like on the 30 percentile on the bottom but then I like to believe in my category I'm actually pretty good yeah I well like let's let's simplify it
13:35 like maybe you're good at bullying maybe you're good at like I don't know whatever activity that may that thing is something that you can take somebody to that you're naturally good at that makes you feel confident it will allow yourself to thinking so hard yeah exactly cool would you this is just a random side question If a person really believes they good at dance and they're sending you videos of themselves and they're like why can I not find any success and they're sending you video after video and the videos are of them badly dancing do you tell them they're bad that's unique I've definitely never been in that situation before they're using their skill at dance to find love no they just they just can't find success at dancing oh at dancing because they're unaware that they're very bad oh yeah I keep it real I I don't say you
14:25 suck yeah what do you say I depending on the context of the thing I might be like like what are you trying to do with your dancing to figure it out I want to be like you I want to be famous you want to be famous I well they think they're already really good so it's hard to then then I'll then I'll put myself down in in my struggle of like what I did versus say why they're not going to get it but I'll be like I'll be like honest or I'll say for example like honestly the only reason why I was able to do what I do is because I don't think I ever went for fame like I just I just did it cuz I loved it and that's what made me put in the time to get my quality of movement to a certain space and I just wanted to be original a fresh where nobody else looked like me and I put all my effort into that and then because of that people gave me opportunity you you want to know what I say I asked him to show you so that's why he's getting those
15:16 DMS ask Anthony he punch thethy what a reveal that's why like a 10e bit 100% what I do so anon's like why do I get all these DMS because because what do what I say is that check your DMs now Anthony no because I say I say I don't really do that style but you know who does and would probably be a better judge as Anthony should say and it's a guy landing on his head from a ████ back flip never that it's never that it's just guyo doing like but there's some truth to that though 100% right that is hilarious good that's ████ hilar cuz when you said like people who don't know they're bad at something that's like that's a big tell as far as like confidence and Cockiness because they have no gauge of either of those things when it's just illusion
16:06 like that's just I get um people asking for advice on like starting what a YouTube channel everything having a I don't know why it's like hey but if you ████ ask me just be ready dude I don't want to know you're unaware of your skill qualifications I mean this is like seeping into other tiers maybe you're unaware of like how you present yourself in dating or that's what I'm saying yeah yeah also you said this dude is gonna be a doctor right this dude yes this is not he's very good at everything I've seen him do this is this is not at all advice this is just an opinion in like the way that like I perceived game when I was spitting game cool I peacock now because I'm already married and I'm off the market so now I just I want to flare my insecurities but when I was
16:58 you're trying to show the ladies what missed out on yes but when I was in the game I always thought to use my highest value or Trump cards last never never play them first so even if somebody like knew I was a dancer or something like that anybody could be a dancer you don't you don't go here's my YouTube channel you know or here's my Instagram or whatever like that you know it's just like oh like if you happen to be ask if you ask me what I do I do this like what do you do and side note if a girl's interested in you she already knows all that she's already watching 100% but then if she doesn't that then she might be measuring it too then she might be like oh yeah you used that card way too fast like that's that's all you got so that's why you don't use like he's hypothetically he's going to be like a doctor I'm not going to come out
17:48 and be like yo I'm going to be a doctor yeah don't talk about too much if she's asking me then I'm going to tell her exactly what she's asking me but I'm not going to be like this is my most the thing that identifies me or whatever I'm anything that I think that I actually have confidence in that I believe is something that like I find Value in myself I'm going to use that as a last tool so that I could just like really slowly play out like what is it that she finds interesting in me for me outside of what I think is like interesting that's pretty cool you're a very methodical man awful that's just my game though I've been called confident but it was misinterpretation because I was just thinking about something else you just want to p P attention yeah and then people be like oh you're so relaxed or like you're just oh you don't care what people think and I'm like no I'm just impulsive and unaware yeah that's pretty
18:40 cool confident directly works in your favor though yeah cuz they're like oh you're at the club and you just you know you're at the bar just you're just relaxed you're not even you're not even up tight you're doing your thing and then I was like that's because I'm here but my mind's somewhere else and uh my face is just like looking like I don't care but I'm probably thinking about a game of risk the board game cuz I just started picking it up with my friends you're being philosophical the actual game yeah and I'm at I'm at the club and I'm like this boring I don't care about the girls I want to go play that board game with my friends it's a good problem to have yeah and it and a lot of the times the times that you get the one night stand and the surprises is when they're drunk as ████ no that's predatory wo wo wo W that's Anthony's
19:32 game he has to tell you that's predatory it's when it's when you least expect it and it's when you're not trying yeah it's hard that's hard to do though I will admit like you're just having a good time and you're not even aware that someone is admiring you yeah that's difficult it's and she's flirting and your head and it's going over your head and in her M she's like I'm going to get him and you're just like everyone's so nice in this party yeah and you're just like everyone's so nice the best I told you this story before how like we had this uh friend her name is Cindy and then I uh they used to have Copa mod used to have this Halloween party or not Halloween party some kind of party at their house I think it was a Halloween party I went to yeah the year before I
20:23 went as like a crazy uh super excited overly social person and it was kind of annoying probably and then the next year I don't know what had happened but I was just like thinking about it a lot less and I was way more chill and quiet and then this girl was like you know I never really noticed you until you were like quieter thing to say though but like also I didn't notice you until believe that because that means that she did notice you when you were I think what she was saying is she didn't notice that I was cool ah I see I was probably just like annoying and you'd have to tune me out cuz I was talking too much I was doing I was doing too much I was trying to be noticed but then once I was kind of like it didn't matter then she was like huh you you you remember those that energy that you would have like back
21:13 then where like you would go to the club or something like that and then there might be like a dance Cipher and in your mind like oh yo this is my chance to like show off right which is chill if you're not giving a ████ about the opposite sex and it really is just a cipher but half the time we was always thinking about the opposite SE exactly yeah you think that windmill was going to get you some ████ piss it was just it might ever look at go o that head spin but he's getting something tonight but what you don't realize is that sometimes when you're like just somewhere else off and the the vibe is just right and you hearing the sick ass song that the DJ Dro and you just getting down but you ain't showing off you're just getting down and it's not like the difference is a girl could approach that versus if you're in the middle of a circle and you're trying to do like power moves and blowups or like going off and nobody's want to dance with you and free like but if you're just catching a Vibe but you got like
22:03 that musicality or whatever next to you know that's when somebody feels like you're approachable you know so it's like you still have the confidence but you're not being cocky about it wind it seems like a woman repellent it's actually everything repellent except for guys yeah honestly at the club the only thing you should be doing is hips and shoulders that's a good guide actually teacher B boys stop your six steps top rocks it ain't it man it ain't it you are really just attracting the guys yeah yeah yeah you're going to have a you're going to have some random dude come up I always wanted to learn that ████ bro I'm like yo first in the circle that's pretty lame yeah small movements and then those shoulders hips just o you know what I
22:54 mean that's all you guys got to do stop be boing on the floor stop B on the floor whack ER esar take that advice stop B boying don't B boy on the floor shoulders only keep it to hips and shoulders stop doing windmills ████ hips and shoulder confident confident confid hips and shoulders hips and should Jo on patreon if you want to be able to have your questions featured on the show helpful dating advice
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