0:01 And I was like, I'm I'm 36. Oh my god. >> Don't react like that. >> Literally had a ████ heart attack. >> That's because your last class was their first birth. >> Welcome back to another episode of Careful Boys. Today we have Melissa Bonos with us. >> BONOS. BOS. >> Is it Bonos or Bos? It's technically with the till day. So it is technically banos. >> Oh, >> but I've gone bananos basically my whole life cuz people always left off the till day and it was weird. >> So banos like actually plural bathroom. >> Yeah. >> I told you it means bathroom. >> Um but in high school people started calling me Banos. I think it was my dance teacher actually. And then it just stuck forever. >> All right. Banos. >> Oh, I didn't know that. Oh wow.
0:52 >> Life after dance. >> Life after dance. Tell us your story. life after death. All right. The question is, um, how different do you look today than what you thought you'd look like when you were a kid? >> Well, I look more Filipino now than I did when I was a kid. >> Was that the goal? >> I don't know. >> Like when when you were a kid, like, how do you imagine looking at this age? >> I think I would be in a polo shirt. Puck uh tucked in. >> Tucked in. >> I guess I have a comb over, but yeah. Tucked in. Comb over. >> Comb over. Exact same head though. >> Exact same head. Probably like permanent glasses, maybe suspenders. Just probably a combination of my dad and his brother at the time. >> Like whatever that like dad style was. >> Yeah. >> You look so crazy in my head right now. >> That's I think that's what I would be.
1:42 >> You just look like a skit costume to me and the way you described it >> like a JK film skit. You thought like in in that at the age you are now you would be completely datified. >> Cuz as a kid I thought 30 is your life's over. >> That's like over. Yeah. >> And then I'm 40. I'm 10 years past that. Right. >> Your life's over, bro. >> Yeah. It's like 30 is already like grown up. 40 it's like >> grandpa >> expired. 50 you're like a grandpa. >> Yeah. >> And 60 and beyond it's like you're just lucky to be alive. enjoy it while less. That's what I thought as a kid, you know. >> I thought I would have been black by now. >> You thought you were going to get the surgery or what? >> No, cuz when you're a kid, >> you make showers. >> And then I just thought that when you're
2:32 an adult, you could be like >> whatever you want. >> Whatever. >> So, you were you were going to go black, man. >> Literally whatever you want. >> Go black. I think I was in like second grade or something. Were you going to have wings? >> And then one of my best friends, his name was Deshawn, right? And I thought his dad was so cool >> that I thought that when you become an adult, >> you get to change into and it's true for some people right now, you know? You become transracial >> because I didn't think like >> like adults all >> like later. I mean, I'm first or second grade. I think later you're like, "Duh, that was so ████ dumb." But >> time to identify as black. I mean, my niece thought she was going to grow a dick, you know, like that people kids just make that ████ up. >> Oh, you didn't think that growing up or? >> No, she was she was like, you know, when I grow up and I still hoping to grow a dick. >> I grow up he pee like I get to go pee
3:22 standing up. Like she thought that, you know, like I think kids just think like >> Yeah. They just make the connection, right? >> Yeah. And I'm like one day. So he thought you can enter blackness. I'm going to be like that. >> Adults are telling like little Joe like, "Oh, you know, you can be whatever you want." And Joe's just like, "I want to be black." Yeah, literally. Cuz they tell you that as a kid. >> Cuz your friend Deshawn had a cool looking dad. >> Just cuz he has a cool dad. >> What was so cool about that dad? >> I think black families and fathers, they they do a lot of things with like activities, sports, they play like that, right? Asian dads, they'll play but not in the same way. >> Like it's different. It's more like >> catch. >> OH, YOU ████ UP. YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE WHAT THE ████ >> YEAH. There's so many black dads that taught their like kids how to fight, right? Oh, this is how you box, whatever. And then I would ask my dad,
4:12 "Can you teach me?" Go, "Don't fight. What the hell?" >> They're like, "Am I just going to be a ████ What the hell is this?" >> It's like, you ever seen a guy play with a dog that doesn't know how to deal with dogs? They're just like, >> "Damn, damn, bro. >> Oh, yeah. That's true." >> Breaking down my childhood right now. I'm thinking I'm thinking of all these these moments. I'm like, "Yeah, that's true." >> But then like when you see, you know, like, well, at least the, you know, when I grew up, I saw like black families and then like the dad would take their sons out and then they would do all these sports and games and like they'll play and I'm just like that s███'s so ████ It's like an athleticism is a big thing and then they play together. Asian athleticism is like math athleticism. You >> I'll just watch you do karate. >> Yeah. They don't ████ karate with you, right? Like they Yeah. Yeah. So, I think it's different. >> Or I got I get this feeling of like I
5:03 bought you this toy so I don't have to play with you. >> Like what do you mean? Like go take the Super Soaker, leave my presence. >> You go do it. >> Yeah. You go do it. >> You play with it. >> It's not as much of the connection like uh like doing something with you. It's more you do it over there. >> Yeah. It's just to get out of their hair. Did you always think you were going to be tall when you grew up? >> When I grew up, I want to be tall. No, I told you I I when I was in uh trans what? Sophomore to >> sophomore to >> I heard that >> junior. >> You sound like you said when I was in trans. >> What? What? What are we laughing about? >> You say when I was >> Are you laughing at trans people? >> I thought you said I thought you said when I was in transition. >> No, you were just You were just >> boss. You were just You were just >> tripping over your words. >> Yeah. I was transitioning. >> Yeah.
5:53 >> From sophomore to junior year. Um, I was like 5'4 and 154 lbs. And then by the time I came back, I was 5'10" and 154 lbs. >> Oh. >> So like that's a glow up. >> I just went from like freshman freshman sophomore year like just that chubby short dude. >> 6 lb. I mean 6 in is crazy. >> Yeah. And no weight change. So it just went >> Did people treat you different when you got tall? >> Yeah. 100%. >> What was the difference? >> Yeah. Like what >> were they like is that >> guys are cooler to you? Girls are cooler to you. >> Even guys are cooler to you. >> Guys are cooler to you, too. If you're taller than them, it's a lot easier. Straight up. >> Easier to what? >> Yeah. >> Just look down on them. >> Yeah. They're probably like more intimidated now. Probably. >> Yeah. >> So, did your bully stop bullying you? >> Yeah. >> So, what did you what did you what did you think you were going to look like when you were a kid and like you're thinking about at like age like 30 or something like that? Honestly, it was so
6:44 traditional back then. Like my my parents even my dad would still wear like dress pants to to like work. It's like his dad >> to like the dry cleaners, you know, or like they weren't dress pants in the same way that we see them today. Like dress pants like dress pants. >> Trousers. >> They're just trousers that you wear. >> Does your dad wear jeans? >> When my dad wore jeans, it would be a ████ holiday. Like we would have to visit like fisherman's warf or some ████ Like what are you doing? >> Um but yeah, that's Yeah, jeans. >> That was just like super relaxed time to wear jeans. Other than that, it was always just trousers. So, I just imagined that when I was older and miserable like him that I would just constantly be in trousers. >> In trousers, >> trousers like him. Trousers and polos. Or for me, >> I just figured I'd be wearing suits all the time. >> Cuz I was like, "Oh, well, you know,
7:34 we're all we in America now. We got to wear suits if we want to do business. Got to wear a suit if you want to be a man." So, I honestly was just like, "Dang, I'm going to be wearing suits every day of my life later. >> Might as well untuck my shirt now." And my dad's wearing like dress shoes all the time. >> Oh, that's uncomfortable. >> I think like regular sneakers was only for like housework or some ████ >> Wow. >> That's true. Like when you're a grownup, you just got to wear ████ leather shoes the whole time. >> That's what I thought. I was like, "Oh, when I get older, I I can only wear boring clothes. Can't wear graphic TE's." I kind of want to do that, though. >> Like dress like a grown-up. No, like I follow these guys that dress like Yakuza guys and and and they do like these cool videos on Instagram and I was like that's so cool. Like I wish we dress like that. >> You want to feel that uncomfortable all
8:25 day? >> I would like to wear like suits a lot more often versus like needing to wear it for just like a wedding or a funeral or something like that. It would be nice to u >> to have reasons to wear them. >> Yeah. Just like dress up >> when you go flying to wear a suit. the worst. >> What do you mean? >> I hate being in uncomfortable clothes on a plane. >> You don't wear your pants suit when you go fly? >> I'm the worst on a plane. I wear everything comfortable on a plane. >> Can't you find comfortable options of the dress up clothes? Like linen suits. >> Yeah, I have a linen suit now. It just gets wrinkled. >> It's really nice. You can't sit too long. >> And when you sweat through it, everybody knows >> it stains are terrible on those. >> Linen suit on a plane. >> But they're so nice. I'm business casual. You tell people that. But >> what about you? Did you What did you imagine when you were a kid? >> When I was a kid, I was just going to
9:15 have a lot of tattoos growing up. >> Wow. >> Thought I was going to get I was going to be covered in tattoos. Like that's what happens when you grow up. >> Does your dad have tattoos? >> No. I just thought like I would just have I thought I would see other Asian guys and be like, "Oh, they all have like Japanese waves on them and like koiish on them or dragons and s███." So in my head I >> You were around gangsters, dude. >> No, not even. But in my head, I was like, "Okay, that's I'm going to probably have tattoos when I get older." >> So, how many tattoos do you have now? >> I have one tattoo. >> You just have one. The stupid one. >> Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. >> Whoa. Judgmental, dude. What the hell? Stupid. I wouldn't say it's stupid. It's a camaraderie tool. >> You want to call it stupid? Look at him then. >> What are you talking about, dude? >> He's got two. Wait, but this guy thought he was going to grow up and have a bunch of tattoos and then he just ends up with
10:06 the one tattoo. >> And and me getting a tattoo in general was just like I don't think I'm a tattoo person. Like I don't have like a want. >> You thought it was just going to happen to you? >> I just thought like, oh, that's like what you would get. >> They're just going to show up. >> Yeah. >> Or you you would just like eventually when you're 20s, you're like, "Oh, yeah, you're going to want to get a tattoo." But as I got older, I was like, "I don't think I want to get a tattoo." >> I was like, "I think I'm good." Like I don't think I necessarily want one. Like the idea of it always sounded cooler in my head. >> Yeah. Okay. >> But in my head I'm like I don't have like a need or like a want for it. >> All right. So, are you going to still keep going or are you done? >> I don't know. Oh, >> it's open. >> I didn't think that would be that case. >> No, dude. Cuz when we hit 2.3 million subscribers, we're >> we're going to get them wrong. >> Set it way higher, dude. >> We're going to get Malry tattoos.
10:56 >> Traditional. Maybe you'll get it when you're 50 cuz you're not fully in that grownup like vision yet. >> Yeah. But I don't think that's something I want. I don't know. I don't It just doesn't tickle my fancy. I don't think >> other than having turned out Filipino. What were the other things you imagined? >> You were able to be transracial. >> Yeah. >> What? Oh, >> you went from a little Chinese girl to a Filipino woman as a kid. >> That was an accident. I don't know what happened. >> As a kid, she looked extremely Chinese. But did you already saw the Filipino there a little bit though? >> Little bit. >> Yeah, it was in you. >> She had a little Bautista already. >> Bautista, >> dude. >> Dude, that's so true. Baltis is super good for her. >> But did you ever think when you were a kid, did you ever think about like what am I going to look like as like a grown woman? >> I was never able to picture how life
11:46 would be like later. I was always a very like this is what's happening right now. I couldn't really envision what it was going to be like. But I do remember thinking, damn, 30 is so old. >> Yeah. So, >> and now I'm like, 30 is really young. >> It's probably the youngest age. >> At 22, I thought 28 was old. >> Yeah. I remember. >> I remember. >> 28. >> I remember. >> Damn. >> Yeah. 22. Yeah. Damn, dude. >> I remember at a community college being 19 and then one of my classmates was 25. >> Oh, yeah. >> I'm just thinking like, damn, that's ████ crazy. is you're 25. Your life is over. >> I actually um I took a a beginner ballet class uh just two months ago off of like Class Pass. >> Um first class in a really long time.
12:36 >> And at the end of this class, I was talking to these two girls and they're like, "Oh yeah, you know, we we've been out of the dance game for a long time, too. We were just, you know, taking a class just to to revisit." And I was like, "Yeah, it's been a long time for me, too. Like 15, 20 years." And they're like, >> "How old are you?" And I was like, I'm I'm 36. Oh my god. >> Don't react like that. >> Literally had a ████ heart attack. >> That's because your last class was their first birth. >> Literally probably cuz they were in their early 20s, you know, and they're like, "Oh, we haven't danced in like a year." I'm like, "Yeah, it's been like 20 for me." >> Well, isn't that a compliment? They thought you were one of them. >> You know, that's about to run out cuz cuz I look a lot younger than I am. So, for a long time, people are always really surprised. But now, because I'm getting older, the number is getting higher and so the reaction is getting
13:27 bigger. And so, it almost makes me feel like, okay, it's really great that I look younger, but then I'm also reminded like, oh ████ >> I'm getting really old. >> You get that you get you get that big reaction mostly from women only or is it like split? >> And it's to all the time. All the time. Like, whoa, you're in YOUR YOU'RE 30. OH, HOLY ████ >> YOU got to you got to enjoy this moment because when you turn 55, you're going to look like you ████ fart dust. >> 60, not 55. >> You're going to be pruning. >> My mom, she's in her 60s and she still looks really She's just starting to look like older. >> People are going to have to open your cheek wrinkles just to like clean out the >> fold. Your mom looks 40. Is she like 60 looks 40 or >> She looks young. Yeah, she does. She's just now starting to look. >> Does she look Filipino? I think she
14:18 looks like my mom. I don't know. >> She She doesn't look Filipino. She could pass. >> No, >> I don't know. I can show you a picture. >> That's the Asian girl curse. You know, you look like anywhere from high school to full grown woman and then all of a sudden grandma. >> Yeah. >> Or next time when girls do that to you, just overestimate their age on purpose. >> No. >> Just to clap back at them. You're like, "Oh, you're 36, too, right?" Just hit him with that. >> Feel young again. >> I thought I was younger than you guys. >> Damn. >> Yeah. Just clap back real quick. >> It is nice though when people get surprised of your age. >> You do look super young still. Like >> 14, 15. >> I mean, only because like I've known you so long. You don't look that different to me. >> It's cuz she never aged throughout the years. Like I I feel like I feel like an
15:09 interstellar. Like I came from back came back to space and I'm like bottles. Good to see you. >> I think you could pass for 25. Yeah, >> it's not it's not a look of like your face. It's an aura thing. When he posts old photos of you, your face looks exactly the same. >> That's what I'm saying, dude. >> But then the aura is so clearly like that was a time ago, >> right? >> Now you >> Oh, yeah. Now you look like a very young mom. >> Oh, thank you. >> Yeah, you look more responsible. >> Thank you. >> Yeah, responsible is a good word.
// end of tape