0:00 So, I had a my first real girlfriend um told me not to smile in pictures and that's why I don't smile in pictures as you guys know. Um and it's funny cuz every time my mom is like Steven smile. Steven smile in pictures for you Steven. I just think about I always remember her telling me not to smile in pictures. >> Damn. >> ████ with me that much. >> ████ crazy. >> Plus I was an acne kid so I didn't exactly have like the most core confidence. So when your chick is telling you like don't smile in pictures and this is your first major girlfriend >> Damn. >> and you are an acne kid you're just like okay she's helping me. >> How how old were you? >> I was like 14. >> All right not not trying to ████ around or not just genuinely can you like show me a picture of smile like where do you smile? >> Yeah how do you smile? >> I just [laughter] I just >> No teeth? >> No I just
0:50 >> This is my smile when I'm laughing. My that's my smile when I'm laughing. >> That's a good smile. What do you do in pictures? >> I can't simulate it. >> Why? >> like cuz I just can't. >> TAKE A ████ PICTURE RIGHT RIGHT NOW ACE. ████ STEVE. >> [laughter] >> ALL RIGHT ████ SMILE. >> NO SAFE SPACE. Can you just No what's the smile that she Like that's A GOOD SMILE. >> [laughter] >> THAT'S MY LAST SMILE. >> YOU FRAMED it so good too. It looks so weird. I got to post this ████ >> Send it to me right now. Send it to me right now. >> So what did she say as to why not to smile in photos? >> She just said that I have a goofy smile basically. >> Goofy? >> Yeah. I think I don't disagree by the way. >> Put that on the screen. >> think that I like have a great smile or something. >> Well why? >> There's no ████ know. >> No to me There's no right or wrong smile. >> [laughter] >> Look it's Hey you think we could change his smile
1:41 today and give him like a go-to pose? >> Look look I'm This is This is the part that bothers me. This is the part that hurts my heart for my friend Steve okay? It's the fact that like if let's say I was like oh my ex-girlfriend told me that she doesn't like it when I do this because ugly. My wife today would normally be like, "No, let me see it. No, it's cute. ████ that girl." and would let me do it. But I feel like maybe Nikki heard this story and was like, "Let me see your smile." and then he probably did it and she was like, "Yeah, continue not smiling in >> [laughter] >> Away. No, she does not I mean, I've never heard her say anything about my smile, honestly. >> Good or bad. Good point, brother. >> Good point. >> [laughter] >> So, what did you even ask like, "Is it the teeth? Like, what's going on?" or like >> Nah, you know how like you just you just don't have a lot of confidence, so you just don't want to hear anything thing more about it. >> Yeah.
2:31 >> It's become a part of you. >> It's like let's just move on. >> Cuz what if it wasn't your actual physical feature? >> You warped it that fast. >> But what if what if it wasn't your physical features, but it was just how you smile? Cuz when you're young, guys just they do this whole like this ████ you know? >> I think he's in that phase right now. He's just like >> They just like >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What if it was that? >> All right, just close your eyes real quick. >> Okay. >> Just close your eyes and I just want you to react to >> Oh, Jesus Christ. >> All right, ready? 3 2 1. Dude, he looks sick. >> I look [laughter] like a >> good smile. >> I look like a serial killer. >> That's a good smile. You really? I think that's a good smile. >> I think his teeth are too small for his >> [laughter] >> It's kind of small, don't you think? >> I think you're ready to You're ready to sell houses right here. >> [laughter] >> Yellow dot him. Yellow dot this guy. >> I go door-to-door selling Doughboy
3:21 pools, dude. >> [laughter] >> I don't know, man. You look nice. >> Yeah, you look nice. >> All right, looks friendly and approachable. >> Yeah, I can't make that smile. It's That's like a Joker smile, dude. >> Joker. >> That's a Jack Nicholson smile. >> The Killing Joke, dude. >> You know how you're like mentally you like you know if that you get caught almost like in a laugh, that's a nice smile, but you can't replicate it, right? Isn't there just something that every single time you think about it is just ████ funny, so you have to laugh? >> No, cuz it it turns into hack pretty quick. Uh, it's the same bit if it's the same bit. Good Good hack. >> Your smile is hack. >> You don't smile in pictures, though. >> He doesn't. >> Boy, I don't. >> No, there's no You really can't find him. >> I do this ████ thing every time I go I go >> Yeah. >> Like every ████ time. >> He does like, you know when white people pass each other? Like, "Hi, brother." >> Exactly right. >> Yeah. >> That's really good.
4:11 The nod. >> Yeah, it's more of a sound. >> I think today is the day that we adjust and show give him a smile pose. >> [laughter] >> Dude, this Seeing your face blown up this big on the screen is kind of weird, too. >> It's got to be really weird. >> We're losing viewers. >> We got three Steves in this video. >> [laughter] >> That's Steve on the Smile Steve is kind of >> He looks older. >> That one looks friendly, though. >> Smile Steve? >> Friendly? >> Friendly and approachable. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, on the right. >> ████ out of here. You would You would cross the street with Taika's hand in yours. [laughter] >> I got to prove it, man. Would you Would you grip his hand tighter around this guy? >> Yeah, 100%. >> That is crazy that one person can really affect like after they're gone. Like they you just have the residual like habit. >> Yeah. >> You pull up your ex-girlfriends' recent photos, see her smiles, just judge it. >> I don't I don't I mean, I think that'd
5:01 be ████ up. >> Cuz I could just be like, no matter how much you smile, you're still ugly. >> Yeah. >> It's It's It's a dangerous thing when like you really care about someone's opinion that much. They could ████ you up bad. >> Remember I told you guys when I was like in fourth or fifth grade my best friend said I smelled like a dog? And then from there I just started I took like two showers a day. >> It's like you shower before emails. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, so funny. >> Yeah. >> Cuz I cuz it was a hot summer day. >> Yeah. >> And then my my mom would hang our clothes, so I had that weird sun smell instead of like dryer sheets, and then and then I went to his house after like riding my bike, and I was kicking it, and then we're just like playing ████ Nintendo or whatever, and he was just behind me, and he was like, "Dude, you smell like a dog." And I'm like, "What the f███?" >> [laughter] >> And then were >> petting a dog all day. >> Maybe, but then it was just super clean hygiene rest of my life.
5:53 >> Well, I guess that's kind of a good thing. >> That's a good thing. >> Just reprogrammed it. >> Yeah, that's kind of a good thing. >> I'm a mom like, "No, Chinese people take shower at night." It's not a morning thing. I'm like, "F███ you. I'm taking showers morning and night now." >> I used to really like like I used to love dying my hair like back in the day. I used to always like love to put like peroxide and make it light and ████ and make it blonde and stuff. And then like one of my exes was like, "You shouldn't do that cuz you just look extra dark." >> [laughter] >> Which is like the cardinal insult Filipino to Filipino, you know what I mean? And this is like when I was like in high school. >> Damn, that's all it takes, huh? >> I was [snorts] like, "F███, you're right." I was like, "You're right. I'm just making myself look darker." Which isn't a problem if you look dark, but she's just like, "Dude, you're making yourself really look like a field worker." >> Exactly. So like among Filipinos, that's
6:43 like a pretty like mean thing to say. Like like that's really rude if you were to talk to a Filipino person like, "Wow, you look really dark." Like it's not For some reason they don't take it very well. >> Yeah. I always thought that looked cool though when someone's dark, but then they have super like highlighted blonde or whatever and then they look alien, you know? >> Alien? >> Yeah, when they blend it's like black hair, ████ black skin, black everything. It's like you just you're normal. There's nothing different about you. >> Right. >> Can you get this ████ off the screen? >> [laughter] >> Good god. >> Brother, he looks happy. >> Steve topics are not my favorite. >> [laughter] >> I feel like I I should just take this this photo and put it right here. >> Let's check in with Nick. Let's call Nick. >> rather have an episode like this or one where we just compliment you the whole time? >> Oh my god.
7:33 I'd rather do this then. All day. This. >> Would you rather do this or run for mayor? >> [laughter] >> Top 15 things we love about Steve. Let's do that next. >> Just shut the ████ up, dude. >> Projectile vomit, dude. >> When you guys like said happy birthday to me on camera and I had to spend 20 minutes just ████ sitting here like stewing. ████ talking about my ████ birthday. >> Yeah, we know how much you love it. >> about my ████ birthday for like 20 minutes straight. >> You love it. You love talking about your birthday. >> Uh-huh, I love you. >> That's you right now, dude. >> Dude, you made a whole website about your birthday. >> Just ████ smile. >> [laughter] >> It's a good smile right there. Think about Hey, think about calling your fa every single time you take a photo. >> [laughter] >> That That's how we do it. >> going to get hacky, right? That's like your favorite pastime. You do it You do it when you're just buying crypto. >> anymore. He just thinks of calling you fa >> [laughter] >> HEY, FOR MY BROTHER, I'll give it to
8:25 him. Yeah, I love it. >> pretty funny. >> This is a This is a good >> [laughter] >> smile. >> I mean, that just It made a new guy. That made a new guy. That's not him. >> Nikki watched that video, by the way, and she was just laughing the whole time. >> Birthday video? >> Yeah, she was laughing the whole time. >> She probably thinks that's so funny, man. >> thinks I'm ████ ████ that's why. Guys are so dumb. >> It was fun, though. Now that we're on the other side of that, it was fun. >> Thank you for coming to my birthday stuff. >> Yeah, it was fun. >> Did [snorts] you go? >> No, I bailed. >> [laughter] >> I thought you I thought you were going to go to the everything, the golf and everything. [snorts] >> And then like Nikki's on the biggest downswing of her whole po- poker career, so I was like, I have to be home and like ████ massage my wife's shoulders and ████ >> Literally the only thing he bounced on was if anything needed a reservation and payment. >> I Hey, I bounced days earlier. I bounced days earlier. >> [snorts] >> So, we're good. We're chilling. >> Yeah. All right, well, definitely there
9:16 was the the her being like, "Is Steve coming?" >> Oh, I told her. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Not a big deal. I didn't care. I wasn't thinking about you at all. >> Yeah, sure. Sounds like I made a >> What are you going to do with that website now that your birthday's passed? Do you still use it for next year? >> Are you going to do a countdown to your next birthday? >> No, I got to take it down. Bart said I can't do another birthday. Bart said I can't do another birthday until I'm 53. >> Yeah, he's right. >> As if that was a hallmark or >> Dude, you guys were smoking him about his birthday in that video, by the way. >> Yeah, for no goddamn reason, by the way. You guys were invited. It was you were invited. >> the best part of that video was you getting all ████ pissed that we think your birthday is thing sucks. >> [laughter] >> That was by far the best part of that video. >> Cuz I wish I could have gone. >> I had to get it. >> I know, it was really funny watching it from my side, cuz it's like even if you're playing up that you're pissed, either way it's funny. >> There's no way he was playing it up in that video. >> We don't We don't need to talk about
10:06 that video when we're here on this >> No, no, no. We can talk about that video all day. >> [laughter] >> Bring it, dude. Bring it. >> Those are someone else's teeth, man. >> I love the pain. I can take it. >> good. It's fast, too. >> Yeah, it's so fast. >> [laughter]
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