0:00 thank you [Music] welcome back to care for boys well we are very careful boys what the ████ leave it in the next time uh are you checking the mics okay just because I'm gonna make sure Anthony's lit or you want to turn off Anthony's lights dude I could tick but okay you want to make sure Tyler didn't ████ up I could see him right here it's ████ creepy dude you see yeah I could see him in the ████ window let's go Tyler hey hey Tyler not bad not bad close the door all right today we're talking about we have an update about bart Bart's parents as everyone knows they got back together they moved in together there was romance perhaps some spiciness do you thinking of spiciness what's the update you think there's a bunch of ████ oh gosh well that's what he's
0:50 saying right there were some sweaty days and some hot nights I don't think so uh AC was broken my obviously they got divorced long time ago because they can't get along right why smiling because it's funny I like this story it's funny and it's ironic because before my dad even moved in with my mom he pitched the idea to me when he was living with me in Vegas so the original plan just to catch you up yeah yeah uh me Gian Taco we moved to Vegas and uh uh my dad was like oh man you're so far I want to move to Vegas too and I was like well I don't even know if I'm gonna like it here for very long so I was like let me live here for like maybe three years get over the honeymoon phase everything's awesome in the beginning and if I feel like I'm gonna stick around then you come because I don't want to uproot you and your errands and your like routes when you visit uncle and all that stuff my dad being the
1:42 impatient and kind of like very anxious guy that he is um like literally three months later he was like you know what I don't even want to live anymore I just ████ by myself I'm just gonna die I might as well just commit suicide he just says all kinds of crazy ████ and me not really knowing my dad that well they're quite smiling um I just kind of took his word for it and I was like okay well I'm gonna try to cater it to his needs so we got him a house in Vegas and uh Geo actually had a really smart idea she was like why don't we sell his current house in L.A at the peak of the market and then just have him move in and I know how Geo feels about my family because my family is extremely annoying to me so I know usually she's trying to like protect me from them but then uh the fact that she was like why don't you move him in I was like well that's
2:32 pretty cool this might be a good chance to get to know him because I didn't really get to know him the last 20 something years because they were divorced since I was six so he moves in and then I read this is what I really get to know his super anxious and like ████ uh emotional ways where like in whatever state he's in he can say whatever the ████ he wants and then later when you when you ask him about it oh yeah of course I was pissed so like as a kid he would literally would be like oh your mother it's awesome you're my son and all that and like if he gets physical I should never have ████ had you get the ████ out of the house like that kind of ████ you know so uh when when they call that yin and yang yeah yeah so yeah so my dad so I haven't lived my dad now uh there was a time where we moved uh in July we during tyco's summer vacation we came to
3:23 live with uh Jill's family so if I could play with his cousins because he has two other cousins that are exactly the same age super cute when I go back he goes you know when I was just there by myself I felt like I was in jail it was I don't know if I could live in Vegas anymore and then I was like oh man like this this ████ got my fine if you want to move back we'll figure out another way to like get your ass back to L.A even though I ████ told you don't come here for at least three years and he goes I have an idea your mom's old I'm old I'm sure we don't want to die alone what if I go you know like live with your mom and I'm like I'm pretty sure uh mom doesn't want anything to ████ do with you and then he was like oh wait what yeah he goes how do you know I'm like because Mom literally like is a woman so she ████ chats her mouth off all the ████ time and she can't wait to
4:13 gossip all the ████ time can you grab right there absolutely not and she never mentions her name once in the 30 however many years you guys have been broken up and then he goes and then he hurts my feelings too and then he's not looking good and then and then and then also I told my dad like you know what like uh in the years that I've like been in business he's like I still don't get it right so you're still explaining it and I was like in all the years because I could just see the stuff going over my dad's head and then I was like in all the years that I've been in business and like in like you know going YouTube and all that stuff like I the amount of people I encounter is much higher frequency than the average person that has a nine to five right because we like we're like going to parties networking whatever traveling tours all kinds of ████ so like I see a lot of Dynamics Even in our in barbell we have people that are like we have staff that's like
5:04 55 like there's like we're encountering all kinds of different people and I'm like looking at your personality type dad and mom's personality type you guys should have never gotten married to begin with you guys were ████ horny I understand that uh maybe during societal pressures in that age you guys are like both late bloomers you have to force the kid out and understand so I hold nothing against you but you guys made me out of a mistake and I don't think you should ever go back to talk to Mom and then all of that just goes like that he's like boil it down for me tell me everything I don't really I'm not really clear on this I back and live with your boss so yeah so this ████ still ████ goes back goes back and my mom not of the kindness of her heart she's like you know what he's all like I'll treat him like we'll be cohabitants I'll take care of him and like um respect him as my son's father but
5:55 there's gonna be a ████ hard line of there's no zero romance you ████ that up I don't think we're ever gonna so that's really cool with my mom and I was like all right it's gonna be on you but whatever you guys the kind of beef that you guys get into because I know it's gonna happen don't ████ bring me into this and now every every ████ day since then I've been getting double texts literally black hey so your dad doesn't want to uh like he doesn't want to go to the doctor with me and then from my dad I'll be like hey your mom's gonna drag me to the doctor like ████ every day the same ████ double text constantly constantly constantly and I'm like in my head I have like the biggest I ████ and I told you so and so now after a few months my mom's I can't ████ live with this ████ um you need to get him out of here and I was like I ████ knew it this is what I told my dad I was like you guys are even you made me out of a mistake and you want to make this mistake again you
6:45 ████ dumb ████ and so that's what we're at now that's where we're at now so you're weren't a mistake man yeah I know I was you're more like okay fine you're a mistake he Harmony existed they would have never matched you know what I mean do you think that that mistake was missionary doggy style it my dad probably missionary I saw him do missionary before like he's lying down or I I saw him do missionaries before well my dad had a girlfriend when I was in high school and actually walked in on them doing it when I was 15 and I almost ████ threw up into my ████ sheets into your sheets yeah cause I ████ ran across walking with your blanket I came home one night I came home one night and I'm like Dad did you tell your God I saw my dad's car and I was like Dad
7:36 Dad where are you where are you and there's nothing and I'm like what the ████ and then I see his door cracked open just a little bit so I'm like Dad are you sleeping I gotta go pick up my shoes real quick I opened the door and I see my dad ████ butt naked more like this Oh I thought you were dressed up as a ghost Halloween he tried to scare him scare your father's Dad where are you hey good for him yeah just add that to your story next time so it's your job to get him out of the house well so now there's the monetary aspect of things right where like I help my dad get his house I in front of the down payment for the house in Vegas but
8:27 then he paid it off with the rest of his money and so the plan that we had that we all agreed upon was okay ████ if you finally made a mistake you want to move back that's fine what we'll do is we'll take the house that you bought that you no longer won't want we'll rent that out with that income come January I'll find you a place to rent and then that way it's like your stupid ass ████ decisions isn't a financial burden on anybody okay does that mean he's coasting at your Mom's till January that's the thing my mom's like I don't know if I could take it anymore you gotta be careful do you know the holidays make people feel all warm and fuzzy oh ████ they're gonna be you're gonna have a mistake bruh mistake brothers and sisters probably not left them right you don't know my mom dude my mom's a ████ monk like it's hard to get her to even crack a smile so um yeah so like now my mom's I can't take it anymore you gotta get this ████ out of here so now
9:18 there's gonna be like this additional burden where I'm like well ████ do I gotta like to help my mom do I have to Fork out rent in La for a mistake that my dad made which can be like an additional two G's a month just randomly that I'm paying when it's something that I saw ████ well six months ago yeah you know what I mean and so now I'm like by by like morals I'm like ████ no you made your own mistake you better go pay your own rent but then also because I'm family and I ████ love my mom I don't want her to like have to like get all stressed I'm always like said your dad moved I lost like 10 pounds and my mom's already 90 pounds so she's ████ 50 pounds what she's 55 pounds that um was perfect margin of error slightly yeah it's like I'm good at math is there anything your parents say like you give your advice or two cents on that they actually take in
10:09 into consideration nope and that doesn't bother you at all does it not a single ████ thing man so your mom's a total monk huh yeah you think if we had her in hot seat we couldn't turn her on every single guy in this room oh God I actually want her actually I do want to bring her on for us we should I do want to bring her on because I don't remember that she's probably the most interesting person I've ever met and everyone I've ever brought her around thinks she's the most interesting person she's not in a good way too if she don't break the ice for us I'm gonna sit here like a little Asian boy not know how to say anything I know my age oh she'll Break the Ice Dude so she used to work at um like a pretty much like a Fortune 500 company like ████ a t like a very corporate place
11:00 she somehow got all the white people in there to say Nihao to ████ bow to her every ████ morning like she got all the white people like she's a ████ influencer yeah yeah she got everyone in the whole ████ Department from one little tiny Asian lady she's ████ powerful dude now she's 55 pounds though yeah you said she's 55 pounds right yeah but she's getting even stronger you know yeah what the ████ she is crazy or chase it through the roof bro that's like recently what I've been dealing with because like we had a plan it was gonna be like help my dad get a place to rent and then everyone thinks the real estate Market's gonna crash 2023 so I was gonna uh help him buy a house then so that you know just there's just so many layers to it but then now it's like everything was through the roof my mom doesn't like it and then every single time my mom's like hey you got to get
11:51 your dad out here my dad texted me and he's like hey your mom wants me out of here and I was like yeah I know so like you're on a bridge like Spider-Man right because I know you like Toby Maguire you like Toby and then and then on on the one end of the bridge you got your mom and on the other you got your dad and you can only save one where are you at that's not what happened no he was a train yeah there's also like no Asians in it that's not the point what do you mean there's no agent that was half of anything you can ████ do with it I'm just saying he's ████ trying to save a ████ his mom or his dad can we pretty sure there's an Asian guy in the background with rubble falling off you literally just went at his 55 pound Mount can you just chill for like one second I actually can't I actually can't no he's all hyped up now yeah dude he's ████ he's turned on already I said you have a choice Steve would probably give it to her good that's the thing about bart you can't even push him it's not even that fun What's um what's your choice my choice would be
12:41 ████ but let go both of them save myself you're not even at risk you're on the bridge gravity's working in your favor oh dude have you seen Spiderman let's just focus on the analogy the concept we're talking about the training part where he gets pushed yeah the train part not the bridge no I'm not I'm not there who gives a ████ guys it's an analogy it's a metaphor it's a he's gotta save one or the other that's all at this point at this point I'll pick my mom over my dad easy because I I've been I've been getting like I've uh beginning to realize my dad's actually like has huge narcissistic Tendencies so he doesn't think about anyone else but himself so he can't be helped yeah so he can't be helped because he's still the victim in every single thing like every
13:31 single thing where I'm like wait what if we do this and we create a situation because it's like super boiled down it's my kids leave me I want to kill myself I'm inside my house okay cool let's move you to Vegas well now I'm in jail so everything is some the world is happening to him constantly so there's nothing that I can do to help him or like now your mom's being a ████ to me I'm like well you're a guest in her home technically yeah so you need to be on your best behavior I go to the doctor when she says go to the doctor yeah like so it's like it's things constantly happening to him and he doesn't realize it's what he's doing so it's really hard to help someone like that so you got to remove like the safety net to let him just figure it out for himself at this point which is hard to do because his family he's gonna be like I'm gonna kill myself do you think he's beating you up I'm like here you go here you go don't do it like there's one in the chamber
14:23 he's a great only one here's all that is 20 more it's an extendo third person POV you're back on the bridge but now you're looking at all of us and all of us are one body and we're holding your dad on one end and then we're holding Joe's dad on and you got to tell us which one to let go let go of Joe's Dad yeah so after all that Joe's dad is like the worst Dad I think Joe's that's worse because Joe's dad just left the family when he was 13. um and just bounced because he started another family and he hasn't really come back until he needed something my dad well you got an image of your dad doing this for like a ████ I know it's pretty disgusting by the way that wasn't until Spider-Man either that was in the back with the Asian guy like my parents got divorced but my dad really
15:13 tried to make an effort to be a dad and I feel that you know okay yeah so like I I really I feel that about him and um did you feel that Neiman Marcus do you think your dad's such a victim that he's beating the ████ out of you with Ethan Allen and he's like oh my ████ hands hurt why'd they do it that's my ultimate narcissism yeah yeah do that one okay so your uh Andrew Garfield right and then your dad is ████ uh what if her face is the Emma Stone Emma Stone right and then you you have a chance you know that in the regular movie um spoiler alert if she dies whoa holy
16:05 ████ I did not see that one damn I forgot oh did I ████ this up already no keep up keep going all right so you dive after him her your father right and then you know you know that in the original script you can let him go but you have the power to change this moment and save him what do you do probably let him go dude damn what a payoff what a payoff for listening you know when you're young your dad's the ████ superhero right yeah you're like which superhero nameor and then the oldest the older that you get Invisible Man the older you get the more ████ you realize so like I remember um my dad and my my oldest uncle they were beefing when I was in high school
16:55 to the point without yelling at each other and I guess I don't know what the true facts are but it has something to do with my dad helped bring my uncle here from China and he told him not to sign up for some sort of like I don't know insurance or something because if or to sign up for it before you get uh medical procedures done because it's gonna cost in the hundreds of thousands so my dad's want to be the sponsor that gets screwed over something happened anyways my dad thinks my uh my uncle ████ them over by starting procedures too early my uncle didn't think so so they stopped talking like they don't they're dead to each other on my grandpa's death bed when I was 17 in the hospital there's like seven brothers and sisters they're all hanging out there and I'm like Hey Dad on my grandpa's about to die literally in like five like five minutes do you want to like in his presence show him
17:46 that you guys are cool they looked at each other and then they were they still kept that going so my Grandpa died with those two like your own like kids not getting along and so like I still don't know who's right or wrong but as I get older I start to go oh wait I can see why there's like the majority of the siblings all kind of hang out and you are only cool with only like one of them because probably his narcissistic Tendencies he's always the victim and the one that he is the coolest one with out of ████ seven brothers and sisters just so happens to be the nicest happiest go lucky guy so that guy is probably just cool with everything he's not affected as much yeah he's just not as happy what what age order is your dad in out of the seven he's the youngest oh he's the youngest he's also the baby too oh damn so the one that's the tightest with them is the one right older uh a little bit
18:36 older than him yeah and then the other one that I have seen be really really tight is the oldest sister who is probably like his mother figure you know and then and then where's your uncle the one he's beefing with in that order he's the the oldest brother wow so the oldest brother mother and the youngest have the beef and because you know I was like that ████ you know what I mean even in your your grandfather's death bed I admire how ████ how stubborn that is yeah I actually I think that that takes real that takes that's hard to do because you guys want to make up ████ no because for me I was like dude I only wished I had a brother so I I mean I don't know because I'm the only child right so I'm like that's ████ crazy but I guess I've never been there so I don't understand but I'm like damn I only wished I had a brother and I don't think I would ever like let something get that big where I where it feels like the parents are split even when they're on their
19:26 deathbed you know who wish she had Brothers Andrew Garfield Spider-Man said that in no way home yeah yeah because I watched the movie with the Asian guy what the Asian guy yeah sure that's right that's right yeah Doctor Strange yeah that's so much you're right foreign
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