0:00 but what if you're getting a new relationship with a new dude and then they're like what the this other scumbag has to come around every month to take care of these ████ dogs I mean you don't come if I was a new dude I would just leave the back door open I don't know what [Music] happened okay imagine that you are fresh out of a major breakup no you're not out yet you're you're having a major breakup right in the middle of it yeah it's about to uh pretty much it's on his last leg but now you're trying to figure out who gets the dog oh no how old is it me I do I was going to say how do you determine who gets the Dog Mine mine's easy what she does why you don't like dog a dog I don't
0:51 like I don't like residual stains what do you mean he doesn't want to look at the dog and be like and see her face like yeah I don't want to see that beagle face oh it's not of your own failure it's Beagle a beagle what if it was your dog before she came along oh that's my dog then get the away okay okay but if we got it together I'm like you get out whatever any piece of carpet you even stepped on I'm cutting that ████ out you get the out of my life it up Fresh Start brand new it's going to be like a crime scene where I'm like bleaching the whole house so there's no DNA just move yeah yeah I was going to say just move so you don't like talk to any of your actually huh at all yeah I never did at all starting from high school but you never had a pet with your
1:41 exes that you guys got together right no no even like when like my my uh my junior year girlfriend when we broke up like it was like when someone got fired I got a box and I put all her in there well you packed her stuff I packed her whatever she left at my house did you leave it outside your door no I'm a I'm a gentleman oh so I threw it at No I gave it to her I was like here and then she was like you don't love me anymore I'm like no at least you matched her tone no damn I always Brady bunched with the dogs and cou they brought their dogs mixed with your dogs yeah we I never went out and got dogs with someone and then you dived them back out respectively yeah evenly you miss them don't you miss them dogs yeah but I
2:31 never love them like my own a just like the BR Bunch cuz they're Step Dogs they're Step Dogs hey step children can be loved not as much I'm a step child yeah I got to go which one your stepmom or stepdad my dad but he aded me when I was like very young he's been my dad see that's different oh yeah no it's if he has something to compare to he loves the other one more how young were those puppies I think it's also the dog's personality oh cuz if I like one of them more oh I like you fight you'll fight for the dog one of the things where you're both in the opposite side of the room and you're like come here come here you have like a sausage cheaters yeah wait so what about if it's a dog that you both got if we both pick I think when a couple picks
3:22 right yeah one of them is like actually doing the pick in I think cuz you could kind of tell I was going to say well I got my dog um what kind of dog is it rip he passed away last year he's a mini American Eskimo so oh that's cute a giant white Pomeranian yeah and people think he's this big he was actually like this big but when I got him I was like this is my dog just be very clear like we were in a relationship and I was getting the I'm like this is my dog if anything happens he's staying with me he's yours okay oh oh well you made it very clear yeah I I was like did the research i p like I want this dog and you're just it's me and the dog you just happen to be in a relationship with me and that's why Wow I don't remember you ever dating anyone and I'm very confused
4:12 right now who who's the SEC exboyfriend it's probably cuz every time I break I'm like oh my God thank God and then never again oh you I won't I won't respond to texts phone calls emails anything wow there did the dude ever walk your dogs though yeah so that that dude put in work with the dog just a walk there was an agreement up front that's true I agree that's like a prup he wasn't put off by that at all he wasn't like no I'm like he was like cool also I paid for the dog that's a big one that a big one yeah how much did a dog like that cost I don't know many couples at go and choose together was it he came from Missouri oh um I'm like I I want to like
5:02 be talking about this and support like breeders and stuff but okay you already did but like to get American ESO in California was like $11,000 which I did not have in college but then for Missouri it was like 550 wow and it's 550 for shipping or something so you end up paying more no no no it it ended up being like under 800 oh okay and then yeah so he was from the start like okay that's your dog it's fine yeah wow dang I don't what do you mean that's nice I'm the one that wanted the dog usually that part gets glazed over and couples tend to not oh no I'm very like Taiwanese well no it's like it's like a prenup I'm like just in case what other things did you do that with in the relationship this my
5:55 teaspoon this is my toothpast this is my C no that was that was your only thing that was it keeps things clear though so that there's no muddy stuff later on like that's nice this is my dog and you don't cuz like anything else like I don't like if it's okay buy something new like you can't replace the dog yeah and I don't want to deal with the whole unless it's like a comedy movie where they replace the dog and it's also cuz I never want to speak to you again so like there's no reason for you be like oh I miss I'm like well too ████ bad damn you're a cold Taiwanese noodle I one time adopted a dog with my ex and then we had to give it back the next day what the ████ cuz they regret no cuz uh it almost ate her dog oh it was like a I had we picked a pitbull like a really cute pitbull it was a really sweet
6:45 pitbull with humans but as soon as it saw like another dog it like wanted to eat it what if they tell you no they didn't say nothing no they usually like check yeah they usually know the temperament you gave it back to the pound I gave it back to the shelter I was so sad cuz she was so sweet to me like and well yeah I mean that's a good choice though because you're responsible if the dog goes off and does something bad what's the other dog the other dog was like a poodle mix so it was like a tiny a very eatable dogat like that's my my new toy yeah so it sucked but she was cute though what would you guys didn't try again and try to find another dog no after that I was like I can't handle this no more I was so sad the first time yeah what would you do in the situation where if you guys had a dog together that you got together and then you broke up who gets it I don't know I feel like I i' be the one who spent the most time with the dog I feel like I would be so I would I would want the dog or were you were you usually the one
7:38 uh taking it out feeding it doing all the stuff yeah I like honestly that's how it would have been if we would have kept it along I would have been one taking that's a lot about the people you choose to date that's right yeah let's see we don't got to talk about that person oops you said you know couples that go together to choose a dog I know one couple well that would be me and my husband well okay I feel like being married doesn't count though we weren married yet oh you weren't no we weren't married yet we were just dating so did you make it clear this is my dog no it's our dog and we would probably have to share custody oh right now if you guys broke up right now you would have to share custody of the dog yeah that's like our child we have two dogs and I couldn't imagine him taking them or just me taking them like I would feel bad I'd
8:28 be like I took you from your dad you know but what if you're get in a new relationship with the new dude and they got better dogs and and then they're like what the ████ this other ████ scumbag has to come around every month to ████ take care of these ████ dogs I mean you don't come I if I was a new dude I would just leave the back door open I don't know what happened okay first of all it just really sounds like you're not a dog person I like huge dog person he's just not a people person I don't know about that I got so many dogs but you would give them back what do you mean you would you would leave them with if you broke if you broke up with yeah if you and Gio split oh that's right didn't you guys go pick dogs together yeah we have dogs we ar it all your choices cuz you like German Shepherds well because she became
9:18 my wife her IQ was here and she got here so now we're on the same page and we like the same dogs okay but if you guys broke up if you guys broke up right now who has a dog right now cuz chose them together I'll take them cuz that's what you just L her she'll take the dogs I'll take the kid yeah I don't think that's going to I was like I don't think it works out do you have do you guys have K Dogs is worth kid yeah I have a kid what do you want more the dog or the kid why does it have to be one or the other package deal that's they make you decide in court usually how many dogs you have two dogs same as you two dogs one kid two for one yeah dogs one k is two dogs worth one kid though that's the real question the way our Arrangement was though um ours is actually pretty easy cuz we have two dogs I chose one she
10:09 chose one the funny thing is we both like the one that I chose okay no see here I was going to say do you have a favorite cuz we I feel bad but we have a favorite we absolutely have a fav so we would find what's the difference one's a ████ the personality one of our dogs is a ████ ████ and the other one's the sweetest dog in the world and the other one's a ████ ████ bch I don't think she's a ████ I think she's stupid stupid and ████ like she's bad like she does bad things she has cat-like Tendencies yeah she's a cat like you'll be like come here and she's professionally trained and she just goes nah that's second child syndrome for sure and then the other dog it's like intuitive I don't even got to say ████ I could look at him and go like that like get your ball and he'll go and get the ball and bring the ball to me firstborn very really but the other one is like me where are you Mia where are
11:01 you look all over the house and then I go in the closet and she's just like the ████ so you get that you get the other one and the kid okay what do you guys so you the one that you like more yeah and then there's the one that you don't like you would still fight for custody of the one you don't like I don't not like him he's just more of a headache like he was the rescue and he's just he just does whatever he wants he doesn't listen as much it's exactly the same situ maybe not exactly he's not dumb mine's dumb we call him dumb but he's not dumb he's really smart he's just annoying but I love him I would fight for him yeah okay yeah all right do the where like the parents on opposite site but you have your baby and your two dogs no not the
11:51 baby we can't do yeah you can't have everything come on you got to compromise a little no but I think we would like you have him for like month like a month or two and then like give them back to me and like you know like trade off the baby no the dogs how many kids one one okay cuz I was thinking if I had two kids obviously I would know which kid I would like better I probably keep the kid I like better too you what if you two are fighting for the same dog and the same kid you can't do that then you have to have one good one bad combo so would you choose the the more favored kid or the favorite dog I got to take the kid I like and the dog I hate okay yeah okay really are you going to like lose the dog accidentally no I'm responsible like the stupid dog that we
12:41 have Mia if you're ever if you're ever if you're ever watching this I love you but she's stupid and I'm going to take care of her until she dies yeah but I'm never getting a husky ever again oh yeah you know what Huskies everyone wants a husky but they're a lot of they're straight up cats they just do their own ████ just independent they're just dumb no they're really smart they are smart I have another friend that every time he comes home he doesn't know where his husky is cuz it ████ ran oh yeah it runs away yeah they're notorious for jumping the fence and running away W yeah my um sister-in-law has a an air tag on hers but he's a really good Husky and my husky like the other the other dog his name's Cooper he's really smart he's like he can tell okay today seems like we're all going to kick it at home so he he'll go in the pool and he swims around
13:31 whatever Mia whole day doesn't swim in the pool like okay cool we got to take the kid to basketball practice and he goes now it's a great time to get wet and wet everything and I'm like you had the whole day to use the pool now we got to dry your ass outside what the ████ you're just missing brain cells I think how was it supposed to know other one knows the other one just gets with the program he knows everything or so we have we we feed them like pretty according schedule yeah every day 8:00 is dinner time right we're bring the Bulls out sometimes we're like watching a movie or in the zone it's like 8:15 she'll like start going like I'm hungry give me my food I'm oh ████ my bad so we get the food put in front of there and she goes and she goes away I don't want it my ████ you just told me that you wanted your
14:21 8:00 ████ snack and then now you even want anymore maybe your food sucks yeah I was going to say it's like Cooper likes it this again maybe that's why maybe that's why is it like she or he it's a she maybe that's why she doesn't like you cuz you're just like he just gets all the food that the other dog wants and like we have to go with his schedule and not mine we get just neutral food I think's more selective think cuz Cooper is so lovable that when you compare it oh no are girl dogs like they tell you that no I just think it's cuz she's a husky cuz my last two dogs were girls and they're very loving yeah but the I think it's just the I'm never getting husy ever get don't ever get huskys out there huskys are known to be dramatic and aren't their fur like don't they
15:12 blow their coat and it's everywhere oh hers is not too bad actually she's like mixed she's like but she is a beautiful dog though and the eyes are all like super gray and blue and yeah beautiful and dumb yeah perfect fight for her during a breakup she's pretty you don't make eye contact you're like don't come don't come to decide yeah cuz if she want if she makes eye contact so she wants something but then she doesn't cuz like she does just look at you and just go like only when I tell her to do something usually it's just Blake face like and then I go hey do that thing that you were trained to do then she's like where did you guys get her both of them are rescues oh both of them are rescues as a puppy both of them got trained um at a like a professional
16:04 place cuz I had another German Shepherd before and then that guy got really violent so we want to take our dogs in public so we're like okay cool get both of them trained at this boarding school both of them for three 3 weeks each so they know all their commands we tested them at ████ Bass Pro Shops where there's hella noise people going around performed excellently is that normal you take him a bath pro shop there's a lot a lot of dog trainers go there what cuz they want to make sure that you can tell them to do all the commands when there's people and kids and balloons and ████ bow and arrows going off they want the dog be to do it and then I take her home and then all of a sudden she has ████ Amnesia doesn't remember ████
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