0:00 I remember like going like, people are like, oh be yourself. I'm like, oh, so my myself that means I would just show up at their house. >> [laughter] >> Cuz that's what I thought. I'm like, oh be myself? Oh dude, I'm going to just ask her to marry me tomorrow then. >> They don't reciprocate, you're supposed to go, oh you guys you don't like nice guys. >> Yeah, I was my I was myself. >> a ████ [laughter] You only like ████ Yeah, I was myself she didn't like me. All right, I'm going to force you to think back to your uh single selves. You may have to go many years into the past when you were just a regular guy in the dating world. Okay. What um advice did you get about dating that either didn't work out or did work out? Like you must have received some kind of guidance or coaching from somebody when you were young about like how to do this
0:50 whole thing. The one that I got that all the girls I ever talked to thought were were dumb was the whole three-day rule. You know, you get the number and you wait three days. >> The three-day rule. >> Every chick I ever end up getting with or talking to they're like, that's only if you come off whack, but if there's mutual like >> [laughter] >> if there's mutual chemistry they can't wait to go on a date. >> Yeah. That's true. It's like >> It's rude to not call or text or something, yeah. It's like if you're if you're drooling at the club and the girl's like You're thirsty, yeah. Thirsty. Yeah. Then maybe waiting three days is good then because it gives a girl like, oh you know what, maybe he's not as maybe I was wrong. But then if you guys If you built the rapport already. >> that genuine connection It's like, let's go watch a movie tomorrow. Who told you about the three-day rule? Who's who's telling you that? >> I don't know, probably another stupid ass homie that got no game either. It's
1:42 [laughter] the blind leading the blind. >> Yeah, it's a bunch of dumb dudes that are just horny like learning ████ from other dumb dudes. >> [laughter] >> It's a funny thing. I I used to think that too. I was like, I don't want to come off too desperate. And then you just you do it at the wrong time. Yeah. And they're just like, so I guess you don't like me then or what? >> [laughter] >> And I'm like, no, what the hell? It's the opposite of that. One of the funniest things I I learned, and I didn't even like someone wasn't even really telling me this in terms of I should do it, but like one of my really close friends was telling me about a guy she was dating, and she was like she was so crazy about the way this guy did this, so I tried to copy it. >> [laughter] >> But uh she was like, oh man, uh so-and-so was like, we we would make out, and then it would like he would put his hand down there, it would feel like he was about to touch
2:33 me, then he wouldn't. >> [laughter] >> And it's like he would just go around it and never really do it. It drove me insane. And I was like, got it. >> [laughter] >> I WAS LIKE AND I DID IT FOR YEARS. NO, I just like so I did I tried to copy that same thing, and it and it is that um And then afterwards you're like, is it driving you crazy? >> [laughter] >> She's like, why didn't you just touch me? THAT'S THE REACTION. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? You do it wrong and too long. And they're just like, get on with it, dude. >> Milk it too much. >> Yeah, I'm milking it too much, but then in my mind I'm like, >> She's like, okay, virgin. she's going to be obsessed with me. >> [laughter] >> Why you keep doing that for 6 months? I do that to my own wife, dude. >> [laughter] >> It's like you're just teasing for with no payoff at all. With no payoff. It's
3:23 like a badly written series. >> When you try to do that, and they go, what are you doing? You go, ah. You just feel you feel sick to your stomach. >> Most of what I learned was in that way where like it wasn't other guys telling me what to do. It was like cuz I had a lot of like chick friends, and they would describe the dudes who were like older than me and cooler and whatever they were crazy about. I'm like, easy. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm getting top secret stuff. I'm getting inside. You know what I used to do? My So all my my sisters would have um these lady magazines, right? And they would always have like like this best ways guys get your attention or like things like that. >> Like Cosmopolitan? >> Yeah, so I would try to read that, try to reverse engineer it. Didn't really work. >> [laughter] >> It didn't work. So I was getting I was getting my dating advice from women's magazines. >> Yeah. That's so funny. >> And it just it kind of And that's when I
4:15 realized that girls don't even know what they like, I think, sometimes. Hm, yeah. I think we use different words, that's what I realized. >> Or I just wasn't smart enough to understand like what they're really trying to say. Well, they also change their mind more frequently than men, do I think. So like in one case they might feel this way and then, you know, two months later that's not how they roll. >> Yeah, that's true. But then guys are so ████ one celled. >> [laughter] >> One celled organism. I got one computer Cuz I think that was the hardest thing for me to get until like ████ way later in life is they it's so circumstantial for them because of how it led up in the whole story. Right. >> Which made that moment probably super hot. >> Yeah, it's more complex. >> Right. Whereas like we're like, "Okay, tease, got it." >> [laughter] >> But it's like probably more than that. Like there was probably flirting and
5:05 ████ going on and like Exactly. >> it up to where it was so intense. Like, "Ooh, I'm going to f███." And then like he teased her, right? >> had a vibe. >> He probably And it matched. Dude, that's what it is. >> Whereas you coming in like a virgin that's afraid to touch her ████ >> I'm like, "I'm going to eat out your inner thigh." Yeah, and she's like, "What the ████ are you doing, virgin?" You know what? Okay, this is so gay and cliché, but I feel like it wasn't till I accepted this rule [snorts] where I started to really feel like I had success with like getting tip or something. And it was just being yourself. As gay as that is, it's so true. But for real, like because whatever how you flirt, that's how you get that girl that's into you. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're You're not going to get the girl like you might get a You can't sustain another image for very long. It's it's too hard. Yeah. Yeah.
5:56 >> It's like when you're truly yourself She has to fall in love with your dumb ass. >> Exactly. Exactly. And it's like the whole saying of like you didn't choose her she kind of like picked you type of ████ I think there's a lot of truth to that. And then the other thing I mistook from the be yourself one I remember like going like people oh be yourself and like oh so my myself that means I would just show up AT THEIR HOUSE. >> [laughter] >> IT'S TOO MUCH. YEAH. YEAH, being yourself doesn't mean act on your deepest impulses and desires. And there's calibration cuz I did the same thing too. Be yourself means like the most pleasant part of you that your friends like about you. Like that's what you want to channel and share not the most desperate thirsty guy. Yeah. Cuz that's what I thought.
6:47 I'm like oh being myself oh damn I'm just going to ask her to marry me tomorrow then. Yeah. >> [laughter] >> I'm an action guy. They don't reciprocate you're supposed to go oh you guys you don't like nice guys. Yeah. I was myself Guess you're a ████ [laughter] You only like ████ I was myself she didn't like me. But I feel like you have to find your own way to flirt. You know? You have to find your own way to be in a relationship and I think that that takes time. But it's so fun to ████ up along the way. Yeah, you have to ████ [laughter] up. You got you got to strike out. It's fun when you look back. My favorite one of my favorites and I think I I like this was a true good advice but I just I swung it way too far. But like I used you know like I was like very much what you described way too overly eager. There was this girl it was she was actually on like a ████ Mike Song's dance team way back in the day. And I was always like excited to like see her and talk to her but I was just
7:37 too ████ excited. And so I just looked like a dork. And then like uh I think one time I was I at a party where she was there and I was really tired. I hadn't slept. So, I was just like ████ out of it, like zombie. And then like, she actually goes, "I never noticed you're so chill." >> [laughter] >> Oh my god. >> That's so funny. [laughter] Cuz like, I'm normally so annoying. So like, she was like She's like, "Yeah, I never really noticed until you were like just chill." >> [laughter] >> And then I WAS LIKE, "OH, OKAY." YEAH, SO THEN LIKE, every time after that, even if I had like peak energy, I would just be like just [laughter] sleepy. BUT LIKE, YOU COULD I WAS ████ up cuz you could tell by my face that I had energy, but you're all twitchy. But my body language was like like, "Nah, I
8:27 don't care." but I was just like >> [laughter] >> And then it just like from then I thought I had to be really chill like in everything. So, it would be like rather than just be a friendly person and say, "Hey, let's let's go out sometime. Like, what How What do you think about going to this thing?" I would just be like, "Yeah, I mean, if you're not doing anything, you know, be I guess it'd be cool." >> That's pretty tight though. >> That's just like not nice, you know? And then like >> Over a period of time? Yeah, and then and then it got to a point like where I think like with her, she just assumed I didn't like her cuz I just acted like a dick. >> You're just too chill. Yeah, because I thought that's what's attractive, you know? I mean, you It was an overcorrection, basically. It was just don't be annoying. >> [laughter] >> Instead, I'm annoying in a different way. Yeah. Looks like you don't want to be there with her. Yeah, [laughter] dude. That's a dangerous thing though. If you're a girl and you tell a guy,
9:18 "I never noticed you until this." That's dangerous cuz they're going to take that >> to always do it. >> Yeah. >> They're going to always do it. >> Amplify that ████ Yeah. >> Dumbasses, huh? I know. One of the One of the actually best advice I ever got was, uh, from a dude that, uh, was in my first breaking crew. And, um, he just said, "Be as overly polite like treat girls like the way that you treat elders kind of." >> [laughter] >> Kind of funny but like it was one of the best piece of advice. He was just like like it's you're not you know like you don't try to seem like you're trying to date an elder. You're not trying to ████ a grandma. Depends on what they look like. >> [laughter] >> But it's like open doors for them, you know, like just be mindful of them if they come to the table like acknowledge their presence all the time. Like when someone arrives be very like, "Oh, you're here."
10:08 You know, don't just like let them join the scene like you have to open the scene for them. Like weird ████ like that and we were like 16 17 and I'm like That is good advice actually. Talk really loud to them when you're really close to them. Do you need to go to the bathroom? >> [laughter] >> If you fall make a noise. >> Did you take your medicine today? Have you talked to your grandson? Treat them like old people. Got it. >> Yeah, that was like his way of like and I would watch this dude just mack like constantly >> Wow. constantly and I'm like no ████ wonder. This fool says instead of the the first time um I heard him speaking to a girl like candidly he goes she was like we were at a party. She was like talking was kind of loud. He goes, "Pardon?" And I went, "Get the ████ out of here. Pardon?" >> [laughter] >> And she like creamed over it. This girl
10:59 was using like to me at the time like in the in late 90s high school that's like foreign language to say pardon and go like this. Is that guy fine too or Yeah, he's hot. Yeah. But he's but he's very short. >> Can I ask you a question? But he's fine. You know how like like some guys who are some guys that know how to work like a old people like population like old lady and sometimes they give them like compliments or like you don't look a day over 32. You know, like those kind of jokes. Would he make those kind of jokes with those girls? >> [laughter] >> With those kind of compliments? I don't think so. No. >> and ████ No. >> You don't look a day over 32. She's like, "What the f███?" I'm talking about like the kind of vibe some of these guys give No, he doesn't do that. No, no, no, but that's funny. That is hilarious. >> that's what I would have done. Wouldn't work. I misinterpreted the rules already. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, his his thing was really just to
11:49 to be polite without the uh like obvious attraction. >> But I think a lot of guys are told I think this is one of the worst advice I was told too is like just be nice. So like that's kind of in the realm of being nice, right? But then a lot of guys take that to the extreme of being like a simp. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like they don't understand like or they're like, "Okay, but what are nice acts? Buy them stuff. Be nice and just give them whatever they want." And like always listen to their problems and be there for them and be a supportive friend, right? But it doesn't create attraction. It creates like this dynamic where you're like, "Oh, you're like a brother. Like dope." >> [laughter] >> You're like too safe. Yeah, but then that's also almost comes down to
12:39 pheromones, too. Like if you just don't have that chemistry with somebody, like what are you going to do? You know, it's it's kind of a tough thing to turn the tide. You know? But then people are trying to buy their love through kindness. Yeah. And I think that s███'s like where a lot of guys mess up in the beginning. Yeah. Or they're too impatient and they go like, "I was so nice to you. I opened the door for you. Like how come you don't want to have sex with me?" You know, like some guys act like that. Or like they because they're being nice and they're like, "Dude, I'm doing everything right and she like still doesn't like me." The difference is like there's like a maturity you can reach in your mind, I think, where you like this is how you interact with every girl as a single person. You're just like, "Hey, I like having a welcoming tone. If this becomes something, great. If not, whatever." That's the best case scenario. And every now and then, very, very rarely, you will run into a girl that you're just like, "I need this girl at all costs." And I think that's where you ████ up. Like cuz that can just
13:30 happen to you. Like that's that's happened to me where I'm like I've unreasonably become attracted to this person and it's a mission to get them and that never ends well. >> Yeah. I think that niceness needs to also be paired with uh being interesting. Yeah, interesting is the hardest thing when a lot of the dudes ████ up. They're nice and they play it to the T and that's great. But when you do that, yeah, you end up being their brother cuz then she feels like she knows everything about you. Yeah. But if you're like if you still are still able to keep things interesting and still keep them intellectually stimulated somehow whether it's through humor or just like the stuff you're in, they can tell you're passionate about something else besides her. >> Then I think they're like, "Okay, the niceness is coming with something and there's going to be attraction that >> I think that's great advice. >> You have to have your own ████ too. >> Yeah, yeah. >> You can't just be like too girl obsessed cuz when all your focus is the girl, I
14:21 feel like that's a fast track for the chick to be like, "Dude, I don't even want to deal with this guy anymore." Some Some guy's going to take this and talk her ear off about Star Craft for 3 hours. "Hi, yeah. I got a hobby. I'm interesting." >> If she likes Star Craft. >> [laughter] >> That's great, man. But yeah, that I think that's the best advice is to be interesting cuz I think that's what's missing in a lot of like when you're younger, you just you honestly not that interesting yet. Yeah. You know? Cuz you just haven't done enough ████ you know, you haven't really committed your time >> I think guys try to sell themselves too much. Like in I mean, you got to be interesting in a way where like you're engaging a conversation and you're actually you're actually listening asking her questions. Where I think a lot of young dudes in their heads are trying to sell. Yeah, I I do this, I do this like I'm trying to impress her and it's like, "Shut the ████ up." cuz you sound egotistical. Like in even guys on like older guys on
15:12 sometimes I'll be like listening to them on a date and I'm like, "Shut the ████ up. You're talking her ear off, dude. Ask her questions." >> Just make it an enjoyable time for everybody. And afterwards they're like, "Dude, I ████ nail that?" >> [laughter] >> I'm so ████ interesting. You can't tell them more than what they want to know. Like if they ask you questions, whatever, then it starts leading somewhere, but you can't just start spewing facts. >> [laughter] >> So like let's say that you're a single guy and I'm the girl and I ask you, I'm like, "Ooh, so you work out?" No. >> [laughter] [laughter]
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