0:00 [Music] all right in another episode of am I the bum hole bum hole yay this a good one am I the bum hole if I don't want to go on vacation with my friends because they try to micromanage the expenses I I don't blame you I like that that's you what do you mean like they're are they like they pitching in and pitching like is it that those kind of friend I got the orange juice so are you going to get the they're doing too much yeah they're doing too much Uber was 750 so can you the context let's hear the context cuz I can I see it I'm seeing it two ways and then one way is cool the other way is not cool all right I a 30-year-old male have a group of five friends from University who are around the same age as me for the past two years we've gone on vacations together first to Mexico and then last year to
0:50 Egypt we've always had a great time we get along well however when it comes to sharing costs I find myself struggling it's not the group that has an issue it's me who has the problem oh oh and then to provide quick context uh they went to a decent University and they all roughly make anywhere from 80 to 100K annually so they're not like super super cheaper on anything okay you just want to give that context okay flex and humble BR in terms of vacation costs I typically spend around $3,000 for each trip which is more than my friends spend since I'm more comfortable with spending additionally I'm aware that the vacation money we receive amounts to at least double what any of them has spent on these trips um let's see so this is the problem I have every night they ask for a check they start checking off items for everyone and then make that person pay exactly that amount to me that's embarrassing getting nasty looks from
1:40 the waitress who doesn't make uh in a day what these people make in an hour waiting there for 10 to 15 minutes while they argue about who had what and then starting to count bills and coins to pay I suggested we split the bill five ways but they don't want to do that get some new friends that's it ████ this guy I mean no ████ his friends he's awesome ████ this guy get some new friends ████ this guy everyone sucks that's they have mentioned that I'm the only one who drinks alcohol with dinner and that it's not fair if they have to pay extra for it we're we're talking about making maybe like a 2year old difference and oh never mind I even offer to pay more but they still refuse because some are not big eaters and don't think they should pay extra for others oh ████ off get ████ new friends new friends this one like when you travel you really understand who you could travel with I pitch in for for the dividing thing
2:31 every time even though I don't drink cuz it's the experience it's like the whole thing exactly it's not what you ate or what you drank um let's say you enjoy the company of one friend right but then he's always like I ate at home but you know this motherfucker's broke that's why he always does that right but you want him to be around just ████ pay for him who cares I get it is everybody just unanimously on the same page with that like I understand where those guys are coming from but it's like you kind of those guys have to vacation with friends that are like if that's your main homies then yeah if you're going to be rude to waitress B and ████ like that I'm out it's like there has to be a better system for you to figure out the bill dude it's like okay if I bought if I got if I was the only one that got alcohol with my meals okay I'll chip in a ████ extra five 10 bucks whatever if you know that this is already what you're going to do right why don't you prep the waiter and say can we all be on separate bills and then
3:23 they'll ████ place the order per person when you were at volcano did did they do that yeah if you they they were thankful for people that asked for it first oh so it wasn't like a no Separate Checks kind of deal always be like we can we can only do like two or three SE dude I want I just want to go to dinner with Ryan now with Anthony and like we get six drinks and then we're like how' you like the experience six drinks each each love it doubles and the other thing though too is like if you go if you go to rest like a $300 bill you go to the bathroom window and you climb out of it me every time I go out with people they get like they'll get the Tower beer at the Korean barbecue that's fine it's like but the reason why I reason why restaurants charge you like if you go to a party with seven people or more or whatever they charge they give you a mandatory gratuiti cuz then if you want to nickel and dime the ████ split the
4:14 check it ████ everything up so also uh they're also going abroad so to me I also think like in the US we could act this way but when I leave I don't want to ████ be that American yeah that's you kidding me man like I don't know what I feel like also like we got to put our best foot forward when we're when we're outside of the country cuz we're also like we're representing exactly and these guys are ████ ████ dude well maybe this is like a I don't know like it's a cultural thing to not show your cheapness in public too like not be so like I guess weird about the bill they like showing their cheapness they like showing cuz everyone in this room is the type if we were to go to 7-Eleven anybody want anything you just come back with it right no one goes hey so yours was like 244 did you get my venmo
5:04 request and anytime I do anytime I do hang out with those guys I do get a little uncomfortable like all right bro it was not that serious like it's ████ a slurp but also it just get so somebody like this if you now want to go vacation with me again I just have anxiety about it I'm like exactly it's that so I don't think this is an ████ move I get when you're in high school like I had a buddy that would divvy up what he drove in gas to everyone that was in the car cuz we're all broke and we're we're kids but like as it this feels like immature to do I don't know especially if you're making 80 to 100K yeah yeah buddy I was making half of that and if I were in these situations I would just be like you know what I don't even want you guys to ruin my ████ trip so I'm just going to pay for it and then and then I you know to me I was like I I don't care cuz like I want to have a good time and this is ruining my ████ so I'll pay for it and then later
5:56 I'll never ████ travel with them ever again but I'll know the boundary of my friendship I'm not going to hate him for it but I'll be like I can't trouble with these people but we could hang out maybe we could get together whatever do other things but from that point on I'm like I got to have a different set of friends have you ever had this happen when you guys were settling the bill and you knew that it was short and you didn't want to make it awkward so you just paid the deficit oh all the time all the time but then the only thing you walk away with rationalizing it's like at least I got the credit card points yeah yeah but then that's the that's the inverse of like this there is that I remember like in high school maybe even early college there was the one homie that's always the short one y cuz like everyone like you know once you throw in the 15% tip and then they like this person's always only putting in a dollar and that's not
6:46 covering tip at all know like but in high school my friend groups were like people would just pay for everything like certain guys would just pay for everything well drug dealers act different right what cash rich I remember though when guys took advantage of that we made fun of them pretty hard cuz like there there'll be guys that are always just like oh oh so you invited everyone to dinner but you don't have no money right and you would just call them out it's like you haven't paid for like the F past five times the ████ is wrong with you and then it's like oh man I just been short and I'm like yeah but that's been five ████ times like why when are you going to pay for something stop inviting people and I think like when you're straight up with each other like that and then you shame people into being not so broke anymore that was actually kind of healthy shame goes Long Way boy that's what you should say that's how you should fix the situation
7:36 I have this like weird thing maybe maybe it's not weird at all but um I always found myself like when I was younger if I had like a richer friend take me out and like they would like front the bill or just cover it and be like dude it's all good like don't worry cuz they knew that I was either younger or didn't have a job or whatever add this that surf and turf and tur yeah yeah can I get three premium I'll get three sides gold flakes gold flakes because I feel like certain people like took care of me as I got older if I found myself like taking out like a younger Squad member or whatever and and I was familiar with their financial situation whatever sexual my bad damn that's good I try to guess D how' you know got stop guessing dude you're so right any you got the shades on that's cultural though that's Asian style like you just you're the
8:27 oldest one in the group and it's like okay well like they passed the torch like they did it for me now you do it for them yeah so I feel like you have this subconscious tab yeah you know what I mean that you just carry in so many different dimensions too so not even just like younger and older let's just say uh if we went out to eat and then Bart takes care of the bill next time I go out to eat with Bart for some reason I'm just going to be like hey let me get this one yeah yeah yeah me too I got go going get this one you know that don't happen for like Dutch and like certain European like they like even on dates it's like always 50/50 pay Dutch cuz those guys are cheap as ████ cheap as ████ huh yo there was one this girls are fine but they're ████ cheap this girl like that was living out there in the Netherlands was saying how like the the biggest culture shock is like they would go to a a get together like a party and
9:17 then they would go eat food hang out whatever and at the end they would get a ████ like Bill and she was like what the ████ and I think she was Latin or Middle Eastern or something and she goes this would have never happened in my culture and it's people in the comments were like yes I've been to a Dutch party where it was like that it's kind of like it's just a thing and then other people were like I've been living here for my life and I my family doesn't do that so I guess even within them they're kind of like well some of us do it some of us don't like you go to a house party and there drink some food and then at the end you get V mode for the pot no no no it's out a cart you're paying as you go watching it's like Amazon you three pieces of fish code are dude dutches are cheap people if that's like the entire society
10:07 and culture then that's normal for them but how come that's not the ster how come they say the J word oh you're being a j word in oh you being a Dutch but going dutch they always say that yeah they say going dutch exactly that happened to me kind of recently where somebody had uh invited a bunch of us to so my friend had a girlfriend that nobody really knew and that girlfriend threw him a birthday party and like got the contact list of his friends to be like hey I'm throwing this dude a birthday party like you're all invited I rented this place and then as everyone hit like yes that they're attending then she's like okay so it's going to be like 55 bucks from everybody to pitch in for like the food and the and we were like what the ████ that's weird like I've never had that happen you created the event yeah usually you cover the thing above exactly yeah and like she had
10:57 planned all this stuff and then but then we didn't know until everybody's was on the yes list already and then she's like okay guys who clicked yes we're like what is this ████ bunch of NOS right after yeah it would also be different if it was upfront yeah like everyone that comes here like you know like you give them a choice versus yes first and then here's the bill yeah I've just never seen that was she was she like Scandinavian or something or like no she's black actually and he was Filipino I don't know if that matters if people have dry weddings I'm like you got to tell people you're going to have a dry wedding dude no alcohol you yep you have to people of that you have to tell them that's weird cuz I don't even drink but I know like if I were to have that it's like you got to do it it's just it's a thing I don't care if it's open bar or cash bar people know let humans know what what what difference would it make like do you prepare something else no I'll just leave early oh free game in
11:47 the parking lot yeah J in the car by the way uh this is also why I don't travel in large groups cuz I think it's just a headache with too many people but when there are large things like bash parties or whatever the splitwise app is sick sick yeah what does that what does it do basically if all of us went on a trip and all of us downloaded this app then like every single meal or every like the limo rout or this or that one person will just pay that Tab and then they'll add that total into the cart and then anybody who participated splits it yeah just splits it and then it'll give you the final number at the end so like all of us can R cuz you know when you like go out sometimes you like be in the moment or somebody like drunk or whatever they cover the whole whatever and everything just gets added with whoever participates in that particular thing easy way to do it and then everything just maths out at the
12:38 end so it's like okay I just got to pay you for this and pay you for this because you paid for that and that dude you guys so being around my ████ poker friends and ████ like that like my my neighbor across the street he always does this ████ where you go out to eat with them or whatever and then these poker players they get this app where it's like okay pick a number 1 through 10 or whatever and then that app like picks a random number and then whoever loses pays the whole bill that's how they do it like all the dam you I thought we did yeah people used to do credit card roulette remember when people put their credit cards in and that's exactly what they do we did that on on tour one time we were in Costa Rica and we used to do this to see who pays a bill and the dude who end up losing got hella nervous and then he he tried to pay and his ████ declined who was it who was it who was
13:28 it who was it but it's funny cuz that was a tradition and that was the first time he lost so I think every time he wouldn't have been able to pay but he would just hope he won and then that day he was like I can't pay guys he's got like my odds right now because if you win all the time and then when it's your turn you can't P ████ cuz I was the one time that we had Lobster and stuff and everybody was like and we thought it was so fun to do that and then this fool like yeah it was a funny funny situation
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