0:00 I'm going to love it if editors don't even know what to put there in this. They better not me on that one. Explain it. Explain it. Explain it. So, no, it'll cut to it. So, it if you guys do your job right, it'll cut to previously on Just kidding news. Hey, take that back, dude. I won't take that back. Hey, it's finally got the way. [Music] The debate rages on. Yeah. All right. The debate rages on. Yeah, the debate rages on. We didn't resolve it. Yeah, we did. No, we didn't. Dogs. Yeah, dogs. Cancers dogs. I said dancers. Cats. First of all, wait. No, that's not how I I remember. Yeah, because you guys started making up fantasy reasons. Yeah,
0:51 fantasy reasons. Yeah. Well, it wasn't even legit. No, the the whole thing is that dogs will love anybody. Have you seen all these videos? Okay, so now I have more ammo. All these videos now of of girls like putting food in the dog bowl, right? And then they have like their boyfriend come through the door wearing all black or some ████ and he like kidnaps her and the dog just starts eating the food. Dogs don't give a about Not cuz dogs could be like that's just her boyfriend. But that's that's a direct comparison of what a cat would do. Well, cats can't defend you. I'll say this. You know why dogs are bad? You guys are all like, "Oh, my dog will guard me." And but that's this is dogs versus cats. Watch like three of these videos and you will know you could train a dog to be a good guard dog. Cat videos are infinitely more viral than dog cuz cats are ████ They arm swipe the table with you. They're more
1:42 entertaining. Cats are way funnier than dogs. Cat Cat videos are way you could Nikki can put a lipstick up on the table and then our cat will just right on the ground every time. They're ████ That's why they get more views. It's like, yeah, they just like you their whole life, your whole ████ I'll say this, when I see a cat fight a snake, that's pretty cool. Oh, yeah. That's about it. I like when cats fight. When they when they do this, when they box, have you seen cat? But I'll say this. When we talk about dogs, we talk about loyalty. There's that famous story about the the Japanese. All right. Here's here's the only record that Chad GBT actually has. In 2019, the analysis indicated that dog videos were more popular than cat videos. thousand with dogs dominating search trends over the years and also there's more breeds of dogs so there's more variety fun there's only like what about like Instagram res
2:32 and Tik Toks and stuff just YouTube how you going to do just who's going there that's because dog people are insane they they go on YouTube to sit down to watch dog normal people scroll through random dog content on Tik Tok is out of control what's out of control about it there's just so many videos there's a plethora of dogs being the sweetest things in the whole world, being way better than the cats. There's evidence all over the place. Do you think that when dogs are getting a medal from like the police or something, they even know what's going on? I don't I think I think they do actually. They do because they're sweet talking. They're sweet talking those little dogs and they put their when they put the the the the gold medal on them, they put their head through. You know what I mean? How about this? How about this? How about this? How about this guy? Oh ████ Ready? Yeah. When was the last time you saw on the news a cat killed their owner or something? Cats eat their owners though when they die. Yeah, but they didn't kill them. They
3:22 They don't even wait 24 hours. Look, if cats were as big as dogs, you would see that happen way more. Oh, cuz you're going to feel bad when you're already dead. Oh, boohoo. No, you're going to want to feed your cats and make sure they're okay. To answer, to answer your question, on Tik Tok, cats are more popular. On Instagram, dogs are more popular. Yeah, but which one is more popular? Tik Tok's so hip, right? That's why we don't understand it. That's why go on Tik Tok. Okay, dogs are what? Dogs are men's best friends, but cats are just cooler. Like think I think that's like the Hey and you want you want Are you trying to lose it for them? Yeah. Cats are sick. No, no. They're they're cool. Like they're chill. They're the cool dismissive type because Oh, so Oh, so suddenly this guy's not a nerd when he says cats are cool. I want him to keep drawing. Did you hear when he said cats are way more chill? You going to let him get away with it now? Yeah.
4:14 Any other time if he said something was cool, you'd be like, "Well, now we know it's not cool." So what? So what? That's why the topic of cats transcends can. It's been a trying day, dude. Today I found out that Elon's actually a Nazi after all. It's been a tough day on me. I got to eat my words. Yeah. Now that he came out against Trump, I got I'm I'm not an Elon guy. He sucks. He's a Nazi. Do you think puppies are cuter than kittens? No. I think kittens are way cuter. Nah. What kind of puppy you you you talking about? Have you had a kitten and a puppy before? Have you had both? No, but I've spent time with kittens. Have you seen a golden retriever puppy, though? They look like little chicken nuggets. I'll say this when I I've spent time with brand new baby kitties and I've spent time with brand new puppies.
5:04 Mhm. It's It's a wash for sure. It's a wash cuz they're both equally cute. But as they get older, puppies are just way better than kittens. They're just way better. They're just better. Yeah, they're just cuter. They stay cuter for I don't see cats getting a whole festival in you. Nope. That's what I'm saying. There's no There's no Chinese festival. Well, weird festival. There's no cat meetups, bro. You know what I mean? Cat cafes. There's cat cafes. You know, you know how many pug meetups I've been? Cat people aren't as weird. Cat people are the weirdest. They're going to run away. As soon as I said it, I wanted to take it back. Cat people are the weirdest. As soon as I said it, I wanted it. We have homies that have cats, right? Their black cat. They'll it'll leave and it'll it'll have a little gang of cats on the outside. And when they come back home, they'll just be random
5:55 cats in their living room and they're just like the squad of cats. Why they bring in new cats? The cat goes and makes cat friends from outside. Yeah. And they go to each other's houses and they kick it and then they come back in. So, think about this. Do you like Do you like ninjas? Do you like ninjas? I love ninjas. Not really. You don't like ninjas? Not as a pet. And you and you spent years training to be a kind of a black belt ninja. I'm not I'm not creeping in people's attics trying to attack. You don't like You don't like cool ninja stuff? Did you watch three ninjas or surf ninjas? I'm not throwing smoke bombs where I go. Did you watch Karate Kid? Did you watch I did. I did. I did. Okay. Dude, cats are like cool ninjas. Cats are just furry lizards. You know what? Dude, these guys are taking L's. I like to say, "What's up my ninjas?" And then usually people don't talk to me after that for a while. Nick, you like jiu-jitsu, right? Yeah, I guess I do. If a dog Okay. If a dog and a cat were
6:45 get to get into a jiu-jitsu match, who would win? Depend. We're talking poundfor pound. We're talking small dog, small cat. Same weight going to win. Give me a break. Same weight cat versus dog. Like a whole physical jiu-jitsu. Oh, so they can't bite each other cuz it's No, no. Like if they were to do jiu-jitsu, like if they were to fight each other, they were just fight to the death. Oh, if it's just a fight, then a cat's going to win pound-for-pound. Why would a cat wait? Why wouldn't a cat? Because I'm on the cat's team right now. And and they can they can maneuver. They can move. Cats can't get the damage that a dog can. Once a dog bites, it's gang. But how could they bite? Cuz the cats are too quick. Have you not seen lions versus hyenas? Hyenas are basically dogs. Lions are basically cats, but they're not the same size. But there's literally cats are more athletic. If you found a hyena
7:36 that weighed as much as a ████ lion. One hyena. That's not working in a group. One hyena, one lion pound-for-pound. But the lion's mouth. It's not the same ratio. We're losing this video. Yeah, you guys are losing this video. If a If a lady needs If she has a special service dog or special service animal, it's never going to be a cat. It's always going to be a dog. Emotional. Yeah, emotional animal. If I need a cat to go If I need a dog to go get Dude, our health bar just went down more. That was minus 10 HP right there. How about this? How about this? Cats. All right. They can, you know, when they purr, they they they know when you're emotionally, your emotional frequency is off, so they go on to purr to bring your audio emotional frequency back into my dog does that, too. No, but studies say what the ████ going on. That's not true. Your dog wants a treat. My dog My dog goes on my my chest and he'll put his head he'll put his head and just
8:27 rest it on me. He'll go like this. No, dogs. Dogs know when you got cancer. Hey, dogs know when you're sad cuz they'll come up and they'll curl up next to you and they know when you're pregnant. You literally just said what I said about cats, but they they bring your frequency back. You drink their purr. No, but studies say that cats lower your blood pressure. Look it up. Google it. Read a book. I would argue any companion would bring down your blood pressure, brother. It's stress. Dogs know when pregnant you have ALS. Dogs know. Dogs know that when you got diseases Oh, that's the ALS word. Oh my god. That's why dogs are always trying to smell a girl's ████ They're like, "Oh, you got on your That's a L for the dogs." That's L for the dogs. Yeah, they're sniffing crotches a lot. Cats molest less things. Oh, that's true. That's probably true. True. Yeah, but dogs aren't doing it sexually. Yeah,
9:18 they do. No, it's not. What the hell is it? Hey, once you get them snipped, though, they're good. It's dominance. Don't catch You ever You ever hump a girl's leg and you're like, "It's not sexual. It's dominance." Wait. Yeah. What about cats? And don't cats spray stuff when they're horny? They do. Not. Not my cat. She doesn't. No. What about hair balls? Do they go? No. What's more annoying? A dog barking through the night or a cat like meowing through the night? I'd argue that's dogg. Have you heard a cat ████ throughout the night? They're so annoying. You know that sound where they're just so annoying the whole night. You know what's happening? They don't do it the whole night. You know why? Why? It's cuz it's getting great. It's because cat dick it look. It's like a ████ hook. Like a baby hook. Yeah, it hurts them. Mini hooks. So that's the sound of them. They're like, "Ow, dog penis wins, dude. They're not They're not that scary." Dog penises. I thought they were just by themselves making a barking through the
10:08 night just to be dicks. Yeah, I'd argue that's the owner's fault. No, dogs are barking because they're like bad guy, bad guy, bad guy. They're trying to protect the house. Yeah, but it's just a win, dude. They don't even That's true. My dog does that sometimes. They can't determine bad. And I get so mad at him, but he if I don't yell at him, he'll stop. But dogs are the reasons why humans were able to evolve to the next stage. There you go. Because they helped us hunt. They got us more food. They made us smarter. And on top of that, they kept us safe that night because if we bark and ████ then caveman would wake up and be like, there's this really cool book about all the dogs in history and how they had all special jobs like uh like the the bulldog. No, like bulldogs would actually help um butchers wrangle like actual cows and bulls in their Yeah, I accept that. Yeah. Yeah. We weak humans weak humans need dogs. Strong humans have cats. Cats came in. Helpers don't need dogs. What
10:59 jobs do cats do? They just eat mice. You know what a cat? No, that's literally their their job. Like later on when we Which is helpful? Which is helpful. When we started farming and birds, which which movie do you think has higher box office success? Cats or dogs? Dogs for sure. Wait, wait, wait. There's no air. What cat movie is it? Thanks. How about planes? How about No, that doesn't count. They're not real. Wait. Oh, the Lion King is a cat. Oh, yes. True. Yeah, but who got a lion? Yeah, I Yeah, Lion King is listed here. It counts. It doesn't count. But, but it's still dogs by a large margin. It doesn't. There's way more dog movies. Okay. How many How many dog movies won Oscars? Cuz nobody got a pet wolf. Won Oscars. Damn. I don't know. Oh, dude. We're coming back. We're ████ taking it in the dude.
11:50 You guys are choking, bro. You guys had such a lead in plays. Cat themed plays have gross more than dog themed plays. Yeah. No ████ Cuz it's moving called Cats. You like Cats? The musical. You'd rather go see Stomp, dude. You go see Red. How about this? How about this? How about this? I know I know something you like. I know something you like. I would rather see Red. I know something you like. Catwoman. She's fine, right? Oh, yeah. Imagine Dog Woman. Hey, sounds like my ex. Hey, that's a good one. Oh ████ We're losing. We're losing. We're losing. I guess you can't do doggy style ever again. Yeah, dude. The hoop is magnetic. The guy can't miss. You got to He can't miss. What about your doggy doggy style rebuttal? What about that? What would you say about that? I just Okay. How about this? How about this? How about this? How about this? How about this?
12:40 How about this? All right. You know what a cat daddy is, right? You ever heard of dog daddy? Oh, he's he's hurting himself, dude. Hey, by the way, by the way, why a turnover? You sold it really good. Perverts can't wait to dress up like dogs. That's weird. That's weird. Well, fies are cats. Yeah, fries are usually cats. No, they're wolves and ████ They're wolves and ████ like that. Look at He would know. He would know. Read a book, will you? Okay, here's another weird thing about dogs. How come there's people doing like role plays of dogs in competitions? And they don't do that for cats. For sure they do that for cats. Sickos. Sickos. Capital O. Role play of dogs. Like they do dog competition. They'll bring a person to role play as the dog. Yeah, dude. And they sit there and they're like, "Really? We did it on JK. The guy guy does a roll or whatever." I thought they were horse riders cuz dog owners
13:31 are sick of They're perfect. You think a guy that's acting like a dog is for sure a dog owner? That's a sex criminal. I think his ████ is drooling the whole time, dude. That's what I think. He's red rocketing the whole time. He's ████ dogs all day. I think he wishes. I mean, I didn't go there. I think dogs teach people to not have personal space around animals where like they'll go cuz dogs are so friendly that you just pet them. But cats teach you about personal space. Like, hey, I don't want to be pet. They teach you about personal space. Cats are teachers. See, dogs are students. By the way, by the way, nothing's worse than when a big dog licks you and you're just covered in like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. More people own cat dogs than cats in America. Well, for sure. Cuz they like them. I feel like if you were to all have a dog, guess what? There's also more dumb people than there are smart people. That doesn't help at all. That doesn't
14:21 help. There's more people. But is that is that not a true statistic? There's more people that are allergic to cats than dogs. I'll say this. If you were to have a dog and a cat in your home, I think you would have a stronger bond with your dog. I think you have a close relationship. I think you would. That's not true. Cuz a dog might make me a weaker man. I've had both and and dude my me and Nikki's cat Franklin is unbelievable. Well, did you love your dog though? Did you love your dog? I love my dog. Yeah. What kind of dog was it? Which one? I had so many dogs with cats at the same time. Uh yeah. My whole childhood I had dogs and cats. Cats are pets for women. Boom. We win. That was a W, dude. We ████ won that. But that but that but that but that's not true. Take that back. I don't know a man that owns a cat. They're your wife's cats. My cats are my children. What? You can't have a daughter and love her? No, there there is. Oh, so Anthony can say his
15:11 cats are children, but I can't say my dogs are my children. I don't say every video. Say every single video. You say it every video. Every single video. Every video. I thought that was a big The pugs are shaped like a baby, so it works. They're Chinese imperial dogs. Okay. Yeah. Pugs look like You relate You relate your dogs to like Taika. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. To piss off bar. Yeah. To piss off. What's more cuz he actually he bites. He bites every time. What's more cute? A fat cat or a fat dog? Fat dog. Fat dog. I think fat cat. Fat cats are pretty cute. Fat cat. I would pick fat cat over fat dogs. See? And I'm a dog person. But I also really like cats, though. I really like What about Garfield? Isn't that a movie, too? Garfield's pretty freaking funny, man. My dog looks like Garfield. Yeah, but what about Snoopy? Any dog? Garfield or Scooby-Doo? Marmaduke? Snoopy. Snoopy. Snoopy's better. What about Kujo? Kujo or Yeah. Which one could hold their own in
16:01 a horror film? Kujo. Oh, yeller. Old Yeller. Yeah, there you go. Which? Yeah. That made me sad. He got rabies. I think dogs help people more than cats do. That's for sure. Yeah. Help they do. Yeah. The same Bernard's with the medicine and ████ Oh yeah. So look look helps like 14 people a year. When did the cat When did the cats find people buried on 9 9/11? No. Yeah. Cats Cats are good like he said helping with emotional disorders. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz they don't care. Is that how you feel? Is that what you're trying to turn this narrative? No. No. That's what you said that they're good at emotional support. They are. Yeah. cuz you're often off frequency and you need a cat to purr to put you back into normal. It's good. Whereas dogs is like you're mentally stable. So then you can already enjoy a dogs are mainly for people that don't need emotional support. Yeah. But then there's a trade-off. Except they're the only ones that are showing off their
16:51 emotional support animals at the airport. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. And we all and it's we know it's everybody knows it's annoying. Weird. By the way, did you see the emotional support kangaroo recently? That was that was cool. I did see that. That's pretty cool. I know it was AI, but that was the funniest part. It was AI. Yeah, it was AI. It's fake. Yeah, they had like the kangaroo and he's holding the ticket like just waiting for his ticket to be punched and they're like, "We're not going to do his ticket or whatever over him." That was the best. But yeah, it was AI. Do you know in terms of strays, like do you think a stray cat could survive longer than a stray dog? I do. Probably. I do cuz they could jump on top of ████ But you go you go to certain countries, there are stray dogs everywhere and they're all chilling. Uh some see. Well, like Yeah. Like Turkey, they're everywhere. I do think that's straight. I do think that straight cats are more helpful than straight dogs. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, in um you know where where we live, they had an
17:42 infestation of like rats like in the '90s and they let loose a s███████ of cats and that's what got rid of all the rats. That's why that's why there are also cats in Disneyland. Yeah, dude. They have a ton of cats there. They let them out and then they take care of their own. And those cats generationally survive because they're really good survivors. Which is why there's no mosquitoes or flies ever in my house because my cats, they eat that mosquito. They take care of them. Well, how come in Hawaii there's a lot of jungle cats, but then the mosquitoes are everywhere. As soon as a fly enters my house, I know my cat Tommy is going I just I'm just like, dude, you enter the wrong house cuz he doesn't stop until that thing. That is done. Done. That is their job. They're so fast and accurate. They're pest control. That's why humans kept them. It'll take my dog a while to kill a fly, but they'll get it if you rip the wings off. What is that?
18:32 What is that? A pear? Oh my god. Animal mukbangs. Are they eating a heart? Yeah. Listen. Listen. This is so cute, bro. I think I'm Got him. I I do really like watching dogs. He won, dude. Dude, I'm already itching watching that video. I kept the right.
// end of tape