0:00 Yeah, it's very sad. >> Oh, my god, dude. >> You don't have any questions on who's who? >> That's ████ up. It's ████ up, Nick. >> Oh, come on, man. >> you react and you didn't ask who's who? >> Wait, who's the little black kid? What's his deal? He's the 15-year-old, right? >> Okay. I'm going to leave this one up to you guys because I hate dropping these on you unless you're ready to receive them, but do you want to hear probably the saddest story of the month or do you just want to keep the vibe light and mess around and get zany? >> Oh, yeah. Are we supposed to like laugh at We're going to laugh at something about the sad story. >> You're going to get sad as hell this time. >> Oh, man. >> We've been having such a good day, dude. I don't know if I want to ████ do it.
0:50 >> to you. >> So, if we do something hard now, do we get something zany and fun later? >> Yeah, [snorts] I mean, this is I only have For the day, I only have one really sad one. >> This is the saddest story of the entire month. >> it over with, dude. >> How many more episodes do you have? >> I guarantee that Don't worry about that. That's too meta for them to hear. >> That's way too meta, [laughter] Joe. >> And you just scratched your balls and your back and now you're putting it Now you're putting it on your shoes. There's There's ████ on your shoes. He's like, "I wonder if I can feel the scratch through my shoe." >> [laughter] >> Okay, you know what? How about this? How about this? Okay, I'll give it to you as it is. I'll give it to you as it is, but if you can and if you dare, joke your way out of sadness. >> Okay, I'm really good at that. Let's go. Test me. >> We can't start too early.
1:40 >> Force it, though. Don't force it. You got to like You can only hit dingers, okay? >> Yeah, but how do you think I avoid pain in my life? I laugh about everything. >> like you're hurt all the time. >> I would love to see I would love to see how well you avoid this pain. >> All right, let's go. >> This is a story about a young man named Ian >> Young man? See? I'm just I was just trying to roll with it. >> His name's Ian Richard Olson. >> Got off to a bad start, dude. >> Ian Richard Olson was diag- was diagnosed with cancer at age eight, okay? He had two types of lymphomas. So, it's obviously one is enough to end your life, but he had two types and he was fighting cancer for his entire childhood life. He fought cancer for 10 years straight. >> Is it too late to change the topic? >> [laughter]
2:31 >> I'm just kidding. >> 10 years straight. He had he had a best bud that was with him the whole way saying like, "Ah, Ian." And this is not me making this up, okay? I'm not being one of those weird people on the internet that just creates filler for these stories. The he had a best friend that was like by his side throughout the whole thing just thinking like, "Oh, Ian's going to beat it. I know Ian's going to beat this cancer." Okay? 10 years. The 10th year he finally went into remission. And certifiably he beat cancer. Two types of lymphoma. Beat both. >> And he's how old now? >> In remission, 18. So, from age eight, all he did was like be in the hospital, yeah. 18, he's finally beat cancer. After just one week >> Don't say it with that pitch, dude. >> After just one week >> Said it like he won something in a
3:22 >> I'm I'm like Stephanie suing it. So, after just one week of being cancer-free, like for the first time in how, you know, like probably had never had this quality of life for how long, you know? And um he's one week of being cancer-free. Somebody shoots him in the back of the head during a robbery. >> Oh my god, dude. Wait, what was what was he doing in a robbery? >> What do you mean was he doing in a robbery? >> Yeah. >> What are you talking about? being >> parent. >> He robbed him. >> What's he doing in a >> You're not You're not in a robbery. You're the guy getting robbed. >> No, I thought he was at like a liquor store or something or he was the robber. >> No, someone just went up to him in public and they It was a 15-year-old kid went up to him, robbed him, and shot him in the back of the head. >> No. >> And did There was no core like connection? >> None. >> Just a random >> No, no. They found out that this kid,
4:13 this 15-year-old kid was in the middle of a 2-month-long crime spree where he had been assaulting people on the train, broke somebody's jaw, stole phones, ended up where this where Ian Richard Olson was, decided to rob him, and then executed him. One week into being cancer-free. >> All right. So, now this is the part where Anthony has his jokes. Go ahead, Anthony. >> Wait. So, how did this Billy the Kid keep like ramp Like he was just He was just on a rampage for 2 months? Nobody could catch him? >> Yep. >> Where's this at? >> This is in Oregon. >> Oregon Trail ████ We're still going through ████ train robber ████ >> Yeah, it's very sad. >> Oh my god, dude. >> You don't have any questions on who's who? That's ████ up. It's ████ up, Nick. >> Oh, come on, man.
5:04 >> Why did you react and you didn't ask who's who, weirdo? >> Wait, who's the little black kid? What's his deal? He's the 15-year-old, right? Damn. >> And he's the, you know, 1 week free from cancer. Isn't that crazy? >> ████ bro. >> Yeah. >> That is so heartbreaking. But did he say he's sorry? >> So, they asked him like Like he went Obviously, he went to jail. He said Here's his quote. He said, "I can't take it back. I'll try to make myself right so I don't put someone else through nothing like this. I'm truly sorry." >> This 15-year-old >> executed him. >> has a lot more accountability than most criminals. >> Right? I've never [laughter] heard a criminal say sorry like that before. But, you know, um the most dangerous freaking people are kids. That's why the gangs hire them, right? >> Dude, cuz before you're I think 16 or whatever, this s███'s not developed. I swear to
5:55 God when I was 14, I would have done all of that ████ >> You would have executed a cancer kid? >> No, but >> But you're a child soldier though. >> I did I did wilder ████ at 14 than I did at 17. Because I wasn't a I just didn't I thought the world was a bunch of NPCs. And I'm like, that's what's so dangerous, right? Is like if they already Do you know how I see it? It's like you know how like pitbulls they they get a bad rep, right? Because like they just keep ████ biting everybody cuz like they're just they do that at they just unleash the beast. If you do that as a teenager, you already unleashed the beast. Can you Is there ever a going back to like when you're an adult, you can like chill the ████ out? >> I think if you're young enough, I think
6:47 you can turn it around. But I don't think it's likely though. >> That's some wild ████ that he did though. >> You're a kid that gets put in the system, bro. It's like it can either make you way worse or it can reform you. Like I and I really think that it makes you worse. >> Would you like the cherry on top? >> What's up? >> Would you like the cherry on top? Just a little detail that kind of makes it worse. So, no he's not he's not out cuz he actually went in I think 6 years ago. His sentence for what he did is less than the time that Ian WAS FIGHTING CANCER. THEY GAVE HIM 8 YEARS IN A juvenile facility. So, they didn't even try him as an adult, right? Or well, maybe they did try him as an adult. I don't know if that means you don't end up in a juvenile. But he got 8 years, which means
7:37 he might actually be out then because, you know, that gets slashed in half most of the time, right? >> Yeah. Yeah, if he's doing well. >> Yeah. So, that means all that those 10 Imagine this though. Imagine like you got a kid that has cancer and for 10 years like most longer than you've known him without, you've just been upside down in medical bills trying to keep your son alive all this time and then one week into finally beating cancer and now this kid can have a normal life for a change, he just gets robbed and killed. If >> it was just like um let's say a car accident, I wouldn't I'd be like, "Damn, man." But like since this wasn't a car accident, it was just murder. >> [laughter] >> Damn, man. >> Yeah. Oh, but I think a drunk driver, I would
8:27 want them to have the death penalty. >> A drunk driver? >> Yeah. But if it was like a grandma like just driving and hits my son and then I'll be like, "You ████ old ████ that's why you shouldn't be driving, but it's an accident. It's a ████ accident. I can't be mad." >> What about like What about like fell off a bridge? >> Fell off a bridge? >> Yeah. >> I'm like, "Dude, I I spent so much money, but he's never seen the world. It's my fault. I blame myself cuz he's been in the house all day. He doesn't know how to how to exist in the physical. So, he he >> He doesn't know how bridges work. >> He fell off a bridge cuz he's clumsy. So, I blame I blame myself. But if it's if it's moider if it's moider >> That was a 2D bridge. >> [laughter] >> I'd want the death penalty. >> moider >> Yeah. I I think I think if you do moider, you should get moidered. >> Yeah. >> No matter what age. >> This poor kid.
9:17 >> Eye for an eye is your You like the Bible style? >> If it wasn't manslaughter. >> But you know what? Just >> I'm talking about moider cuz manslaughter is an accident. >> sucks that like I I guess in theory, you know, we haven't had this happen to us, but like the theory is that like, "Yeah, if you did this, you should get that." Something tells me that when this actually happens to you or someone in your family, there's just nothing can even be enough. You know what I mean? Like it doesn't matter. Like there's nothing that will bring this guy back. There's nothing that will like it's the the life story of this kid is just tragic beyond anything you can imagine. Like they wouldn't even write this in a show because it's too unbelievable. You know what I mean? So it's like imagine you guys have to live with that. If you just send this kid who did it to the electric chair or whatever, it probably makes like >> doesn't do anything. >> Yeah, it's like the loss is so great.
10:07 You know what I mean? >> There's no satisfaction and it doesn't bring them back. >> why like I sort of understand when you know people are so shocked sometimes when things like this happen and the family is just like like I don't care. It won't bring it back. Yeah, or they or they try to maybe because that's the only way you can feel better about what happened. >> Taking some sort of control back. >> Exactly. That's them taking control back. Yeah. But >> when you hear stories like this though, don't you go how come other places can live in safe safe places? Like how come other countries can do it right? >> Well, I mean obviously if this guy was in a two-month crime spree, he should have been They're just not They're just not >> Has he been Has he ever been caught before though? >> I don't know what his record is, but >> If you had That's That's my whole ████ is like if there's a long rap sheet cuz remember the whole like doing uh the Stop Asian Hate? We when we found out
10:59 the people that were beating the grannies, they had a long rap sheet and then they just kept getting released. And I'm like that is when I blame the system. But if it's like one of those things where they they never been caught before and they just went on like a serial killer spree, then is that's what's like oh what do you want to do? That one is like ████ that's hard. Like cuz you know that's a once-in-a-lifetime thing. >> Right. >> But if this is like it keeps happening, there's multiple people >> Yeah, there's signs, there's clues. >> There was hella people beating up old Asian people. And I'm all like that could have been prevented. >> Yeah. >> That's when I blame the system. >> Yeah. That's fair. >> He's like, what? >> [clears throat]
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