0:00 [Music] did you guys ever use tinder when you were single excuse me tinder tinder excuse me no i can't that ████ was that offensive that ████ that ████ wasn't around early enough you get gold if you get gold tender you could go based off of outside of your city oh yeah what's the one where the chicks get to pick bumble dude i have a friend oh wait no i don't know i think so so i have a friend who had success with that because she was like like super like oh ████ it's over and then she went to that and she like saw a bunch of dudes and then she was approving those cats and she's actually getting married now wow good for her that's nice but we all thought she was a lost cause like might as well ████ kill yourself but but it's it's beautiful to hear that she actually made it was it a uh grinder that's the guy one gay one yeah okay i had a moment
0:51 i think in like 2012 or i don't remember what year it is but around that time frame was living at bangoria where uh i eventually was single for like this brief period of time so i was like ████ it i gotta try this i didn't know it was like kind of still a new thing i didn't want to hate on it and i had met some people and knew some people that through eharmony had like gotten married so i was like uh i don't really close mine let me try it and i'm living with uh three homies three roommates in this house i get i download the app and then i just realize that the second i download it my phone's already immediately out of my hand my roommates are sitting on the couch they're swiping everything for me yeah and they're just cracking up they're having the best time in their life and i'm starting to start sweating bullets and stuff it's vicariously a lot of fun right yeah and then i'll after that literally the next day i was like all right i'm done with uh tinder because oh
1:41 that's it you never went on a date or anything no never it just turned into a totally different social experience that's true how'd you mean nina nina she was on my own dance team at uci so when i went back to choreograph i met her there she was on cadc holy crap didn't know that cool so you got with an intern you ████ a student i can't listen to you while you have that hat on that dude what are you hiding under there it looks like over the phone yeah coyote just hit you with a ████ axe handle or something like that there you like wayne's world yeah what's funny is that guy is the gangbang hey you did too how do you think it felt when i realized he was joe mama i was like no ████ way
2:31 i like bart ████ laughing at this guy bart's ████ one chick for like 12 years i did bart's like ████ look at this idiot with a wool hat use the gang bang and joe just laughs well joe by the way been ████ giving fans a hell of a time [Laughter] anyway the whole tinder thing why was that they were lonely i was asking because this uk woman went on a tinder date and uh they were dating for like a few weeks wasn't even that long the dude started getting weird she broke it off and then what do you think he did he stalked her okay he killed her as crazy ass dudes do you follow her nick's so cynical huh typical nick huh what happened your mind goes to really
3:22 dark places this guy broke into her house and filled her shoes with spaghetti oh that's awesome he's like i'm gonna get her he is weird she'll go out on a ████ dead put her food on her shoe and go oh i can't go out of date that'll make her get back with me did he make this video that sounds like tychus sabotage like he would do a sabotage move like that is anybody else suddenly curious about like putting your ████ foot into a shoe full of spaghetti it feels squishy yeah and i wouldn't be surprised if you did that for jk party yeah we did a lot of ████ spaghetti in your shoes you probably did it already before i stepped on nitro takis or some ████ feels like mud probably i'm sure it does to give you a little bit of detail he did a lot of weird ████ he got into her place and this is after she broke it off
4:12 because he was getting really really weird what did he how do you break it she returned home i think he got he stole a key or something and then uh this girl got home she finds her shoes filled with beans and spaghetti the walls are damaged the furniture the clothes all the electrical appliances have the cords cut off and she's like you have four more chances okay one more date all right you had me i appreciate you cutting all the appliances off for me and why is this spaghetti warning in my shoes and why does a guy go to ████ a dollar store for all of his pranks you know like all the items like that i think he just took what was in her own kitchen refracting if you cut off the electrical cord of my appliances i'm gonna kill you i'm gonna murder you in front of your family bro that's it does she not have a father
5:02 she lives by herself yeah but then like she should be like daddy does a ████ stalker and ████ dude he did a lot of weird ████ it says uh he pulled my shoes out of the cloakroom port oh yeah poor beans he put condiments all over the walls cooking sauce all over her vacuum cleaner oh he got spaghetti from her trash all of her makeup put shower gel into the drawers palm tree shaped ice cubes you know what this reminds me of hello it's kind of creepy but it's also so weak and innocent it's kind of like a guy it's like gateway stalker gateway stalker right like he's trying to be a badass like i'll ████ get you and he's doing all of these harmless ████ things he's just doing inconveniences and it's like dude you know what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna go to your ████ sock drawer and took out all the left socks like damn
5:56 dude this guy sucks this guy should be in a mental institution yeah dude he put shower gel in her her her clothes drawers do you think john wayne gates this generation is soft this guy's ████ he's like the generation of silicones is soft here's some pictures this is the dude right here i'm holding ryan's over here with my phone [Laughter] i just suddenly become dawson is he a minotaur or something minotaur ████ you know exactly what that is on the right the ████ horseman oh that guy centaur centaur here's the here's the vacuum cleaner with all the ████ that would bother the ████ out all the ravioli all the things he's doing here's the shoes with the spaghetti these are white shoes that'll bother them look at all that ████ mess this guy's a ████ mess
6:47 dude dude that's a piece of ████ i guess that's a pretty decent revenge considering the personality type of his ████ because like that would ████ bother me if you did this to my house i i dude that's like i left the window open and the ████ stray cat came and ████ my house up that's how i feel like that's what it seems like i thought he said that happened to me let me tell you guys around his neighborhood have opposable thumbs that can open up spaghetti you know what extra ████ with me if he got the five dollar pasta sauce but then he put in the shoes i'm like why the ████ did you do that dude you got the you got the prego the ragu yeah it said he's getting the ████ expensive one 550 you guys know what i'm talking about that's what pisses me off the most when it's all like when you waste money on this ████ but let me tell you guys what what it did when it started to get weird why she broke it off because i think this is where you can ████ tell this is that that type of guy oh it's her fault
7:38 no it's absolutely not her fault but alicia is the name of the girl and she said we'd be watching a film and then he just burst into tears for no reason i'd ask him what the problem was but he just ignored me then when we got together he would start saying stuff like this is the stage of the relationship when everything starts going wrong oh god because he's sabotaging a few weeks in yeah and then uh she said we've only been seeing each other for a matter of weeks super confusing i don't understand why he's being so intense and needy and then uh she told him hey i think it's about time we end it then he blocked her and that was it the next morning she goes to work comes home and her place is ████ what a ████ dude he's like you normally didn't ruin her life spaghetti shoes first first order of business you ████ up my vacuum cleaner dude oh man why do you think i mean just before all of the you
8:28 know italian food and ████ why do you think guys get like that what the ████ is that ████ yeah why is he crying at a ████ movie theater i mean movie just for no reason like a good stage of a relationship may just start self sabotaging well you know we should ask him how his relationship is with his mother probably not good dude you made it you made it too real but it's probably true though it's kind of crazy right now i'm just thinking about ways that's very good advice i missed my sister's les out nick that nick is never coming back hey that thing is never coming that's nick at night stop eating i'm never telling you guys anything dude i don't tell you guys anything that's nick at night yeah dude i like that guy nick and knight that's uh what does nick and knight entail that's nick of loading me up baby you're the you're the dude that goes hey sis
9:18 where's other sis get going get to it baby why dares you gonna make out would you make that and i do this i go i just fall asleep like that i snap my own neck in front of everybody he's trying to get cpr that's why from one of you boys and i pick steve i want you to resuscitate no i don't know i figured sister every time he's pretending to ████ go dead because he wants cpr on some real ████ though that that's like a um mental red flag oh it has nothing to do with just like oh you're slightly weird it's like no 100 of you is wrong in so many ways so we should blast his photo and full name for anybody else who needs to be protected and saved from yeah this fool should never get ████ forever yeah here he is his name is jordan kobold do not date do not date the type of guy stands like a foot away from you at the supermarket and just looks at you
10:09 midline he just stands right behind you like yo what the hell he like smells your dad's hair man i make him eat like a lot of beans in front of me and if he doesn't do it i'll be like let's play a game called beans and weenies if you don't finish this bowl of beans i'll cut your dick off that's a sick game dude and then joe goes ask me if i ask me if i'm close to my father answer is no the answer is no [Music] you
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