0:00 You know when like parents leave and they come right back to say one more thing? It was like that. >> So you got a few pumps in and they came back in. >> Yeah. And I was like, "Oh, [laughter] >> that's crazy." >> She was like a cool Filipino ad. >> And then she went in the car. I think they're packing. [laughter] >> All right. So, picture this. You're at your side chick's house. >> Hell yeah. [laughter] >> What? >> Yeah. >> You're at side chick's house. >> Side chick's house. as Morel does. >> Her boyfriend Her boyfriend comes home. >> Oh ████ >> Yeah, because you're also her side dude. >> Side dude. ████ >> Oh, okay. >> And And what do you do, right? >> Crawl out the back. >> No, dude. I I start fixing pipes. >> Start fixing pipes. >> Oh, the plumber. >> Yeah. >> So, this dude solved it for all of us.
0:51 Here's what you do. >> What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? >> Oh, ████ Hang on. >> I saw that one. >> Your favorite video. Hey, you know ████ well you ain't supposed to be >> Yeah, I love this guy that tells us what the your dusty ass doing. Yeah, why you running, ████ Why the ████ you running? Also, you think you going to go? Where you going to go? Where you going to go? Huh? Where the Where the ████ you going? You got to come home. You ain't got nowhere else to go, ████ >> Why she so mad? >> Think it's a ████ joke. I'm >> That's her boyfriend. I set it up wrong. Oh, so she caught her dude at another chick's house. >> I was looking for a guy. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She caught her dude at another chick's house >> and now she's following him >> cuz he's running. >> But he's But he's going to fix all this watch. >> Why are they in such a good neighborhood? >> It's pretty nice. >> You think it's a game? You going to run to the house after coming to this? Okay.
1:41 You want to go this ████ right around the corner from our house? Okay. I got your mothering ass. You think this s███'s a game? >> Wow. What the ████ I know he >> he's really good at like recording and doing this. >> Where the he what the [laughter] >> This was still running his own house. >> No. No, ████ Where your Bring your bone ass back here? Bring your bum ass back. Where the you go? Oh, so you running upstairs and ████ I'm going to beat your mother ass. Think this s███'s the game. Where the go? >> Where is she going? >> Wait, watch. He fixed it. He >> Mhm. Okay. You think? Wait, what the >> Oh, so you think you just going to sit on a ████ couch like you ain't moved and like you ain't been at that ████ house? >> What the he talking about? I've been sitting here watching TV with your dumb ass. >> Then why you out of breath, ████ [laughter]
2:31 >> That's such a funny Is that tight? Oh my ████ [laughter] He's like, [gasps] what? What are you talking about? What do you mean? >> Oh my god. >> Watching TV with your dumb ass. [laughter] >> Oh my god. >> [laughter] >> He he even changed his shirt. >> He saw she saw him the whole time. >> Seeing his legs around the corner is so funny. >> It's so sick, dude. Yeah, guy's a legend. >> What are you talking [laughter] about? I was watching TV with you the whole time. >> You got to try. >> Stupid. >> You got to try, dude. >> She didn't just see him running. [laughter] >> Yeah. So that guy >> Why is this so stupid? [laughter] >> This is what you do. No, he he solved it for all of us. Like if you get caught
3:23 cheating, this is what you do. >> If this is a skit, that one take is genius. >> This is really good, right? >> It's so good. >> It could be fake, but I don't I I don't want to think. >> This is a skit. >> You think Are you saying it is definitely a skit? >> No, it's not a skit at all. >> Thank you. Thank you. >> It's too good. >> So, >> it's so good. Have you guys ever been in a situation similar to that and you just didn't know what the hell is >> where you live down the street? [snorts] >> That's just so good. >> I feel like you I feel like you climbed out of a chick's window one time. >> No, dude. He has. >> Oh, yeah. In high school. >> What happened? >> So, I was uh me my when I first got kicked out of high school, my I moved in with my dad. So, I moved across cities and then my dad had a uh a dinner with his best friend. When I went to the dinner, the
4:15 best friend's daughter was there and I was like, "Oh ████ she's cute." So, we ended up talking. We end up getting together and then um him, like my dad worked at the casino and they would get off uh like around midnight or 2:00 in the morning. And then so I would sneak over to her house all the time. And because our dads were like best buddies, we always thought it was like a probably a forbidden thing. >> And uh so it would be like extra like shameful or forbidden or whatever. So she her room was on the second story and uh one day I usually time it well enough where I leave before her dad comes home, but her dad came home early and I'm like, "Oh, f███." So I had to climb out of her window on her roof and I jumped from the top of the roof. to the floor and I could have sworn I had a ████ concussion for the very
5:05 first time cuz I landed and then uh I could have swore I blacked out and then I was like, "Oh ████ what the f███?" And then I just ran off like that. >> You got a [laughter] concussion just from the >> the landing. >> The impact of landing. >> Cuz I'm jumping from the roof of the house. >> Oh my god. The roof of the house. >> Yeah. I was like, but when you're like 15, 16 and then you want the ████ you're down to do anything. >> Yeah. But was it worth it? >> Yeah. Was it a two-story house? >> Yeah, it was two survival. >> It was worth clumping 10 times and nutty >> from the first from the first story. >> Two twostory house just [laughter] jumping off. Yeah, I'm dead. That would look so funny though. >> But it's one of those things where like you're in the moment and you're like, "Oh f███." And so you're just moving without thinking. So I just got to get out of the window. Oh ████ Now I'm on the roof. Oh ████ Am I cracking roof tiles? I don't even know what's the lowest point to the ground. I think that
5:55 looks the lowest point. So you're just moving. You're not even think. You're not planning or nothing cuz that was not how I thought it was going to go down cuz we can hear the dad coming up the stairs too. And you know most homes you only have one staircase so there's no other way back down. You're just like oh ████ once he comes upstairs there's no way out for me so I got to jump out the window. >> Did you guys ever like you know you're at your girlfriend's house and like you guys are trying to do stuff but like you don't want to make it seem obvious. >> Oh yeah. Back in the day >> like you're watching a movie and you got a blanket over Yeah. >> Oh hell yeah. >> Yeah. But then the mom comes in the room and she's like, "Hands." You ever You ever have that happen? >> For real? >> Yeah. That used to happen to me all the time. >> Whoa. >> Oh, that must be I think like for white people they do that >> cuz they already know. >> She was She was a Mexican lady. >> Oh, Manos. [laughter] >> But so her mom used to we watched the
6:48 movie or whatever. We have like >> I mean she's a ████ perverted ████ to know that. >> Well, she's just like make it she's like no hanky panks in the house kind of thing. Well, how would she know if she She's got to know the tricks. >> Well, she >> don't say hanky pank. >> I think she was a young person once, too, probably. >> And she knows that guys are scumbags, too. >> So, yeah, we're doing all kinds of stuff under the under the blankies, right? And hands doesn't mean like you're going to have come all over them or something. So, hands was not a big deal. It was like, "Okay, cool. We're like >> But she probably just wants to see where they're coming from. Are they coming from crotches?" >> But you can't really tell cuz like it's the blankets like up here. Oh, she don't see the [laughter] >> Yeah. Like my girlfriend was just like release just release my dick and put, you know, hands like so what? >> You have a tent. >> Yeah. No, totally. [laughter] >> Hands. >> It's three arms.
7:38 >> You do a tuck. >> No big deal. But yeah. No, I I remember that. I remember >> Steve's tuck method's like hits me and then Chan >> tucked all the way up. >> But over here. Now, I remember that being very like like her mom used to come uh she used to be like, "Okay, I'm going to go pick up your brother." And they live like really close to the middle school. She's like, "I'll be right back." Like, it'll be 15 minutes. Like, no hanky panks or anything. >> Second the door closes, we're naked. Like, not kidding. The second the door, it's just like you see the door close, we're naked. You can get naked quick, especially at that age, dude. >> So, yeah. And then we're we're doing stuff or whatever. She comes home, we're on the couch breathing heavy, but like fully clothed. Everything's Gucci and no one's >> been watching TV the whole time. >> Yep. [laughter]
8:28 >> And the air is a little musty. >> But that's what I'm saying. So, thank God she didn't go like, "Let me smell your hands." If she said, "Let me smell your hands." I think it would have been >> Yeah, cuz you're like, "It would have smelled like ████ all over." >> Yeah, it would have smelled like ████ all over the place. >> Oh my [laughter] god. >> That's crazy. >> She's like And she could have sniffed my elbow, too, and she would have smelled ████ cuz I got in there, brother. >> Damn, you fisted [laughter] her. I was going in there. >> You made her into a sock puppet >> going in there, bro. >> I did a whole puppet show. >> There was a >> I was like Jeff Dunham with that ████ dude. [laughter] >> Jeff Dunham >> turned her into Elmo. >> There was a time with my ex where we were laying like like spooning on the couch watching TV and I was literally in her and her aunt came in and started talking to us. >> Oh my. >> While you were inside, did you get harder? >> So you had a blankie on? Yeah, we had the blanket on and we were just watching TV cuz she was staying at her aunts and
9:19 her aunts came in and started talking. Not about that. >> Did the aunt go like dicks? [laughter] >> See those dicks? It was her. >> Yeah. >> No, they she just started like talking about some random thing and we were just both like, "Oh, okay." Uhhuh. >> Were you still moving in and out? [laughter] >> No, I was I was perfectly still, dude. I was just like, "Okay, yay." >> Hoping the ant tells a joke. [laughter] Dude, that was weird. >> That was in Monterey Park, too. >> Oh my god. >> She lived off of uh Rian. Remember Rian Street? Yeah. >> How long was the aunt there? >> How long? What? >> How long was she there for? >> Less than a minute. >> Oh, okay. >> She was just talking to you guys. >> Just like mentioning something as she was leaving, we're just like, "Oh." You know, when like parents leave and they come right back to say one more thing. It was like that. >> So, you got a few pumps in and they came back in. >> Yeah. And I was like, "Oh, [laughter] >> that's crazy."
10:09 >> But she was like a cool Filipino. So, we were like, "All right, it's all good." >> And then she went in the car. I think they're packing. [laughter] >> So, you're just like, "Oh, that's interesting. That's cool." And your your girl's like, [laughter] [laughter] >> dude, that was weird. >> Hey, thanks for thinking so highly of me. >> Hey, dude. [laughter] Aren't girls faces always like that during sex, brother? >> [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Damn, that's crazy. >> Yeah, that was weird. >> There was another time where I freaking uh I was having sex with my ex and her parents were not supposed to be home and then her her dad ended up coming home early. >> ████ ████ changing their plans and then without even seeing me like just
11:00 knew that something bad was happening. So he came in yelling already and I didn't even meet this dude in my life yet >> cuz he saw your car outside or something. >> Yeah. Well, yeah, cuz he saw he saw TJ's car, actually, [laughter] >> cuz and then um and then literally I ran out the same door that he walked in. I just went right past him and I was like, "All right, TJ, we got to go. We go." And I ran to TJ to TJ's car and jumped in and we boned out. And that was uh the That was the same night that we got in that accident. >> Oh my god. Is it cuz you didn't finish coming? >> Yeah. [laughter] >> I was so mad I took the wheel and she went like this. Do you remember back in those days like you would just give each other rides cuz you're going to get ████ >> That all like the homie would be down. >> I did that for so many people, dude. >> Yeah. Like hell, >> dude. I did that for so many homies back
11:50 in the day. >> You're just down to do it. >> Yeah. >> I think we all did that for each other. We all like our Ubers >> and you just kick it for them. Yeah. You just like chill in the car and ████ >> You can't wait to be like, "So, what happened?" >> Yeah. Or then or then he your boy comes out with his girl piggy back and you're like she wanted to say thank you. [laughter] >> Dude, I love those days. >> That's so funny. Funny, man. >> Now we're too old for that stuff. >> Never. >> Not tight. >> That's hilarious. >> Hey, dude. Can you drop me off at my house so I can ████ my wife? [laughter] >> Can you wait outside, too? And he's like never never too never too old for that. >> Then we go get Carl's Jr.
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