0:00 Would you be able to handle that? >> A smile. No way. >> You're also going to have to get a little more buff. [laughter] >> It's mainly the forearms. You got to get a bigger chin. >> Be a chronic masturbator. >> Welcome back to a very important episode of Careful Boys, where today Nick the Ear is going to convince Bart to leave Gio. >> I'll do it right now. What the hell? >> And the video ends. [laughter] >> I think we did it. >> I thought we had to convince you. I gave him some good points off camera. >> What do you got? >> Uh, first off, I said this is mostly my problems with Gio. >> Yep. >> So, and I feel like it'll probably happen. It extends to >> her jiu-jitsu is way better than Bart. That's why I think wants to run away from the competition. >> Is not true. >> Yeah, you might have strength on her, but like technique-wise, she's better for sure. >> I know. I could like pump my hands so
0:51 fast. >> Nah, dude. She would distract you too much in that role. >> Oh, in what way? >> You know, sexual, dude. She could tug on his third leg. >> Third hook. That's what we call it. >> Third toe. >> Third pinky. [laughter] >> His third toe. >> Well, my my one of my biggest gripes with Gio is that like she intimidates me when I look at her and sometimes I think she's mad at me all the time with those eyebrows. >> She does have that face. >> So, I can only imagine the scenarios that you're in with her where you say something to her and then she just looks at you dumb as hell. Dude, >> don't say dumb things. I have to stand up for the women here. >> Hold on. Wait your turn. Okay. I'm not even done with my point yet. It's not as easy as it sounds. Okay. >> I feel like that's one reason. >> Actually says something dumb AND SHE'S LIKE, "WHAT?" AND HE GOES, "Why you got arresting dumb face?" Huh? [laughter] >> I'm speaking English to you. I've seen Bart do that before. >> But you realize though, before you go far with this, I just have to let you
1:41 know when you're the guy that's convincing your homie to leave his chick, >> you have to hang with him a lot afterwards. >> Oh, I won't be in town. I won't be in town that [laughter] much. >> We can hang out when I'm here. >> Yeah, you got to be his shoulder to cry on. Honestly, since I've been in Vegas, we've been hanging out a lot. Yo, this is sick. >> See, this is good. We actually go out. >> Yeah, we go to dinner after. >> I feel like we're friends, dude. That's crazy. LA was like I think we're like business partners. >> LA was like, "Don't talk to me after the cameras are off." >> You're going to have to set time aside to like, you know, you got to take them around. >> Jiu-jitsu will probably have to go to a different gym, though. >> Yeah, cuz my gym. >> Yeah, it's your gym. >> She go find her own You go find her own gym. >> Yeah. Okay. Well, if you're prepared to do that, then proceed. So, I think that's one thing you could just cross off the list immediately. Like >> resting dumb face. >> No, not dumb face. Just mean face. Like she just has >> It's usually the eyebrows. >> So, she's she has like a permanent mean face.
2:31 >> Yeah, >> she's not she's not applying that herself with muscles. >> It could be it could be through like maybe childhood like trauma or whatever or she's just the introvert or she doesn't want to deal with ████ >> She's quite stoic, I think. >> But she has a resting conscience concentration face. She doesn't have a a face like >> she doesn't have a face where like >> if you're hanging out in like a dental waiting room, you're not like, >> "Oh, I should spark up a conversation with her." >> What a sweet lady. >> Yeah. She has [clears throat] like like this. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> And she got tats on her hands, too, which is even more scary. >> So, it's like already ████ you. ████ everyone every all the time. >> And that's why Bart should leave her. >> That's one of the reasons. One of the main reasons. >> Does she have something to say about it when you're like, "Hey, you you look kind of mean." Does she go, "Oh, let me fix that." Oh, I think she does the woman thing. Like, I'm tired. [laughter] That's what I look like. I'm tired. I'm like, you said you were tired when you
3:21 woke up and then you're tired when you went to sleep. You're ████ tired all day. Yeah, you're just ████ tired from being >> I have the same complaint to Tiff and sometimes like the the look on her face. I call it resting Salvie face. >> Oh, is that common with Sal Salvie? >> It looks like she's about to make a puba. >> My population size out of the three Salvadorian women I know, they all have a face where they look really mad at me all the time. They look mad at you >> and generally to other people too. >> Disappointed face. >> Yeah. Yeah. They just look mad. >> I'm just existing and they're like, "Stop breathing so hard." >> Looking like this. Yeah. It's I can't even do it. It's It's very stoic. It's very very firm. A little scary. >> The Bad Bunny concert. It's a very different face. >> Yeah. She's she's she's zooted. >> Don't you want an unapproachable wife, though? >> Cuz it's like imagine she's like so approachable. Everyone's constantly trying to bone her and talk to her and
4:12 she's just like, "I don't got time for you. I got so many friends." This is way better. You got her all to yourself. >> But you're trying to get me to leave her though, >> man. You can't bring her nowhere BECAUSE SHE DON'T WANT TO SOCIALIZE and ████ [laughter] She don't even want to go out. You have no SOCIAL LIFE CUZ SHE DON'T WANT TO GO OUT. SHE GOT AN angry face. >> That was a good pivot. That was a good pivot. And I didn't look at her this way before we did this, but after we played Mafia, I realized I was like, "Oh, you're almost too good of a liar." >> She's a good liar. >> Oh, >> she deceived me very well multiple times. >> Are you just gullible? >> He's also gullible. [laughter] >> He also knows the answer and does the other thing, too. So, >> Oh, that's true. Yeah. You >> have a problem with me or something, Mos? We're talking about his wife, dude. Okay. >> I just I just have to ask more questions is all. >> I'm a little gullible. You could trick me into a lot of things. >> He also can't hear the rules to a game.
5:03 [laughter] >> Wait, what? Dude. >> Yeah. So, that's that's those are like some of my top two. >> Um, would do you guys have anything to add? >> Can you paint a picture for Bart on how being single at his age in this like world we're in now would be like a fun place to be? >> How old are you, Bart? >> 41. >> 41, dude. >> Yeah. >> What do they say about 40? But number one, >> this is the new 20s, dude. [laughter] >> That's when life starts, brother. >> Best part of it is you ain't got to spend all that money no more >> moneywise. What do you mean what money? On what? >> On being married? >> Yeah. On just on wife stuff. >> Isn't dating more expensive than being married? >> Oh, that's a pretty good. What do you guys What you got? What do you got? >> I think when you're in your 40s >> Oh, >> it's a different It's a different type of thing.
5:53 >> You're buying one business classic and not three. >> Three. There's a dog and a baby. >> Oh, okay. You don't think he's going to keep the babies? He's He's just going to leave the whole family. >> Ta and a baby stay together. Yeah. The woman always takes the kid. You don't have to take care. HE'S ALREADY A GROWN MAN. HE'S LIKE, >> "ARE YOU READY TO LOSE all of that, Bart? >> I just want to leave Gio." >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. But the Taika's eight almost 18, right? Yeah. And 18. >> You get to split time. Think about how much how much more free time you're going to have as a single 41year-old in beautiful Vegas. portrait painting. You always wanted to do >> portrait painting. >> Yeah. He Dude, >> he's you shouldn't be painting portraits of Gio cuz he misses her. >> He had an unfinished painting because of Gio. [laughter] >> He had an unfinished painting that we sold for a JK fan who bought it for like a grand >> because of Gio. They were together. He
6:43 never got to finish the the the sun painting. >> Don't blame Gio on that. >> It was they if they weren't in that relationship, he would have been able to finish that. Yeah, he would have been able to finish that. cut your gym session by 15 minutes for a week. You would have finished that paint. >> Why would we have to sacrifice his health? >> You can't rush art, brother. >> Isn't even enough to pour the ████ paint out of the bottles. >> What the hell? Are you using molasses? >> No. >> Watercolors. >> Acrylic. Acrylic paint. That's acrylic. >> Oh. Oh. Oh. Here's the biggest one. >> You can always eat whatever the ████ you want. >> Yeah. No more Chipotle, bro. >> That's so true. >> She stops you from eating stuff. >> Yeah, cuz her ████ She has the pallet of a ████ white lady. I can't eat half the things I want. >> No dim sum. No high on board now. No duck. >> No. >> No. Lots of things. >> He has to come eat it with us. >> It's okay if you can if you eat it.
7:34 She's okay if you eat it, right? She just doesn't want to eat it. >> Such a giving person. I like is sharing >> joy. So if I she see that she's unhappy, then I don't want to eat that with her. Okay, fine. What do you want to eat then? >> I can't eat dim sum with my wife, dude. >> Really? >> She doesn't like it. She watches me eat chicken feet in front of her, she's going to throw up, dude. >> She could eat like the freaking buns. >> Chicken feet so good. >> The donuts. >> Pork. She'll eat pork. >> So, I got to eat dim sum apart. This is my way of getting Let's go get dim sum. >> I You got to break up with your wife. >> They marry Chinese guys. >> Whoa. What the ████ [laughter] >> I need No, no, no. Keep it on the ████ >> Yeah, we're talking about >> Chinese guys are awesome. [laughter] Yeah, Chinese guys are awesome. >> Why is the blame back to us all? >> Blame the ████ >> I don't understand. I feel so attacked. >> Okay. You didn't think the Chinese man you're going to marry is going to have Chinese food in his life? Like that's
8:24 kind of like duh, right? >> Let's say you're real close to convincing Bart, right? And he goes, "All right, check it out. I'll leave Gio, you leave Tiff, we'll live happily ever after." >> And you guys get together >> and they just eat dim sum every day, >> dude. >> And you and then both of you have time. >> True. You guys could always eat dim sum. No, I love my wife, dude. What are you talking about? [laughter] >> I mean, you just said she had a lot of the same traits as Gio. >> No, no, not like that. You know, she's uh you know what if what Here's the thing, though. >> Oh. Oh, we're going to have to adjust the mic. >> Here's the thing. Like, >> you know what? One thing I don't like, too, is that she's taller than you. >> Oh, you don't like that? You don't like that about them. >> Emasculates him. [laughter] >> It deasculates. >> I'm sorry. Is that Gio's fault or is that Bart's fault? >> It's actually no one's fault. Okay. It's actually no one's fault because we can't control. >> I think it was my mom's fault. She she she raised me on a vegetarian diet so I
9:14 had zero calories growing up >> cuz he didn't want to eat the [laughter] food. I asked Tiff. I was like, "Hey, cuz she was wearing heels one day and she was like a little taller than me." >> Oh yeah. >> And I was barefoot. Usually when I'm barefoot, I'm even shorter. You know what I mean? Don't laugh at me. All right. >> You got like three souls in your shoe. >> Don't tell people my secrets. [laughter] Don't tell people. Yeah. Don't tell people this. And I asked her, I was like, "If we started dating, you were taller than me, do you think you would like date me?" She was like, "Probably not." I was like, "Well, that's very >> for real." I was like, "What the f███?" She's like, "I don't want to be taller than you." And I was like, >> "What?" I was like, "Bart, you got to break up with her, dude. A lot of women feel that way. That's very honest of her to admit." But that still was hurtful. I was like, "I want her to be shorter. I want to be tall." >> Oh, okay. Ben, that would make you really tall, though. >> You can't help me get stuff on the higher cabinets. >> She picks you up. >> That is adorable. >> Something I can't get.
10:04 >> Puts up the piñata for you. [laughter] G's on the roof. [laughter] >> You know when it's okay? When a girl's taller though? >> When a guy is wider. >> Wider. Yeah. >> White or wide? Wide and white. >> What? [laughter] >> Both. >> No. Wide. Wider. >> Why? >> Because he still looks like a man. >> You know what I mean? Like if if they're like the same kind of size and she's just bigger. If the girl's taller and wider, then that's But >> he's still in a higher weight class. Yeah, because it looks like so it's kind of like a like a tall skinny supermodel. She's still very feminine, right? But then she's with this guy that's like like ████ big but just a few inches shorter but like he's wide enough to still like it does it doesn't look odd. >> Mhm. >> Right. It's like Goofy and Pete.
10:55 >> Yeah. >> Or Popey and Olive Oil. >> Popey and Olive Oil. Yeah. >> Oh yeah, she is taller. >> Olive Oil is taller than Popeye. >> But she could be >> Pull it up. >> Pull up the comparison. [laughter] She's pretty freaking tall. >> Holy ████ >> She's tall and lanky. >> She's taller. But it wouldn't be weird. >> She's taller right there. >> Oh yeah. >> Oh, but there's taller. >> Oh, >> there's tall Popey. >> Wow. >> That's like you and that's a you and Gio. >> That's [laughter] you and >> that's you and Gio. >> Dude, that is a good costume for you guys. Yeah, >> Popeye and Olive. >> But then she How will she be able to handle that? >> A smile. No way. >> And you're also going to have to get a little more buff. [laughter] >> It's mainly the forearms. You gotta get a bigger chin. >> Yeah, >> TRT. I jump on. >> I was probably a chronic masturbator. >> What the hell? >> Crazy. >> Don't say that about him. >> That forms are crazy.
11:45 >> Look at these two together. A so cute. Who the ████ is that? [laughter] >> A >> It's alternate universe. Bart and Gio. >> She's smiling here. Oh, even in her smile, you could tell it's hanging for dear life. >> Yeah, >> she's like, I can't wait to not smile anymore. That was an allergy or something. They got her mid sneeze. >> An [laughter] allergy. >> An allergy. A All right. So, Nick, you're willing to break this up? >> Well, when she dresses like that, that's pretty cool, actually. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Why don't you guys do more themed costumes? >> That's really, really cool there, actually. >> She looks pretty cool. >> We haven't done a lot. >> She doesn't look Asian there at all. >> She looks cool in her element. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> You don't think she look a little Asian? That's another reason she looks too Asian. I think >> that's what I'm thinking. It's confusing. >> What the hell is your problem? >> Yeah, it's confusing.
12:35 >> As I'm looking at Bonos. Yeah, she looks way too Asian. [laughter] >> Yeah, it's kind of confusing. I think >> what is confusing? >> If you're Mexican, just look Mexican. Why you looking all Asian for? >> A lot of Mexicans look Asian. >> Yeah, probably. >> Siren. >> Yeah. Why? Why you looking all Mexican for >> a cute? It's funny how there's just pictures of Bobby Lee on there, too. You know, >> dude, look how heavy I was. That was like the bulking face. >> That's Popeye Bart right there, dude. >> That's what they call it. [laughter] What would you call it? >> Phase. [laughter] >> A phase. You say fat fat Bart. Is that what you said? >> Depression. >> All right. Well, you heard it here. Nick is uh >> I stated my case. >> He's ready and willing to hang with you once you're ready to be single again. >> But once a month when I'm in town. Only. Only when I'm in town. >> In the long game. He's breaking you up so he could have you all to himself so you guys could dim some every day. >> Couple times out of the month.
13:25 >> Somehow he thinks it's an even trade. Your entire family life for one day a month with Nick. And he also won't leave his wife. >> Yeah. Yeah, I won't. And Bart's like, "Hey, I'm starting to I'm starting to regret this whole situation." I'll be like, "Dude, just stick it out. You'll be all right." >> You do hang with him. He's going to go, "Is it cool if Tiff comes?" [laughter] >> Babe, tell the story though what we did over the weekend. [laughter]
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