0:00 Yeah, they're like it's just a like a moist hole or something. >> Moist hole. >> But I don't even I don't even think I can get turned on from a moist hole on a man. >> But now you say that but in like 4 months and then they >> four months. That's it. >> Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. >> That's his break point. >> Wait, >> that's his break point. >> Welcome back to another episode of Careful Boys. Today we have with us Mr. Nicholas Dunning. Yes, he's back. >> Thanks for being here. >> I like how this guy claps. >> Scissor clap. >> Scissor clap. Scissor clap. >> I think it's perfect that you're here because uh you might be the um I think I think you would be the best candidate in this situation that I'm thinking of. >> That's what I was thinking too. >> Who out of the four of us,
0:51 who would last the longest in prison? >> What? >> You think you think I would? >> I don't know, dude. I think I go to solitary right away. >> That's the hardest one. >> What do you mean for for doing something bad? >> Yeah. Do something crazy. >> Who would mentally break or who would get killed the first? >> Either way, like let's say let's say that we all >> like who would reach 95? >> Yeah. >> ████ bro. I've never thought anytime I watch a jail show, I'm never like, >> "Yo, I could run that place, dog. I could I could do well there." >> You know, you know what? Already we would be at a severe disadvantage because it's racial. >> Yeah. like the dividing lines. >> But you know what the thing about Asians though? Apparently in Asians in prison, they get Asians and miscellaneous. >> We're a part of the other's car. >> You know who we pick up? We pick up some Polynesians. >> Native Americans. >> We get some polies.
1:41 >> They're like the Asian shield. >> Honestly, if we get a couple polies, we'll be okay, brother. We're We're going to be >> If the goal is to get to 95, I honestly think I would have the best chance. >> Really? He would kill. >> Well, I don't think I would. Like I'm not going to be a mastermind or some ████ crazy uh crime lord. >> He's going to be a library guy. >> But I thrive in routine. >> Oh, so you'd have a great time. >> So I don't think I would be driven crazy. >> Ah ████ Ah ████ these ████ chains. >> I'm I think I would match the routine. I'm like, "Oh, it's kind of cool. We're waking up at 7:00. We're going to go get breakfast and then I'm going to go do my 100 dips or whatever to go to the library." I think I would >> get butt get butt rammed every day. >> That part would suck. >> Yeah, >> but I would. >> But you got to do it. You're a routine guy. >> If he's if he's late, Bart's like, "Where is he?"
2:32 >> You're late to ████ me. >> Stood me up again. >> But I think I find routine and then if I don't make too much noise and I'm one of those guys that just fall through the >> keeps your head down. Yeah. >> You just ignore me. >> I think I can live that life. >> Dude, honestly, Bart's butt is currency gold in jail, brother. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. >> Bro, this dude could just start switching his hips down the hall. >> You arriving at the jail would cause a bull run. [Laughter] >> They're going to pump and dump, brother. >> ████ >> Pump and dump. >> Oh no. Oh, I might have to go to solitary then. >> Yeah, dude. I don't want to. >> I don't want to get butt >> right away. Go to solitary, dude. Or you could just reserve it for one person, which is like a gang leader, and then you become the queen of the jail cell, right? So, no one touches you but one
3:23 guy, >> but you get all the wealth. They're going to be feeding you good, >> all the Top Ramen you want. I don't even want to get butt rammed or nothing, man. So, what do you think, Jason? I really feel like in the state of this political climate, I just feel like um we should definitely go with the color red. >> The color red? >> Yes. >> So, you think red will last in this environment that we're talking about? >> I really do think so because we have no other choice is what I'm saying. >> Out of out of five of us, who do you think will survive in prison the longest? >> The longest? Mhm. >> Um I think you >> Why? >> What's your reasoning? >> Friend, you're a friendly guy, you know?
4:13 >> I make a lot of friends. >> You make a lot of friends. You're You know, and but also you're crazy. Do you know what I mean? It's like um ████ don't Sorry, that's >> don't kill my vibe. ████ don't kill my vibe. >> ████ don't kill my vibe. ████ don't kill my vibe. And also, um, mother don't take no ████ >> Yeah, that's right. That's right. >> Do you know what I mean? That's you. >> Joe Mama don't take no ████ >> Yeah. So, both because I have friends in prison, I'd probably last the longest cuz I'll just Hey, I'm coming. Can you make sure that I survive? Sure. >> So, that's probably what >> you make the call. Yeah. >> I have uh I do have a friend doing life in prison because he stabbed somebody in his 20s and he's he's at Yeah. I hope I get sent to the same one. Another thing is I probably I probably uh start a
5:03 business in there. >> What would you sell? >> Top ramen. I'll sell Top Robin to people and maybe I'll uh I'll sell cell phones so people could go online. So what I'll do is I'll get people from the outside, >> smuggle them in >> to smuggle in their prison pocket. You know what a prison pocket is? Their ████ >> Hey, you know what you should do as a side service on top of selling? >> You should be like, "Hey, do you want to be Tik Tok famous? I'll I'll do your social media." And this guy runs prison accounts in jail. Prison Tik Tok accounts. Yeah. >> But the thing that will probably make me not last in there is I don't like being around all men all day 24/7. >> You don't. >> I like bro time. >> That's how you design JK. >> I like bro time. I do. But dude, >> you got to get some ladies in there. Do you think you'll jerk off a lot or No, >> I probably will. >> Yeah, >> but then I'm getting older, too, so I'm not I'm not
5:53 >> You're not as horny. >> Bunch of guys. I'm bored. Oh, >> not cuz there, oh, there's guys, there's strong guys, you know, like >> Yeah, but just bored because there's no women like feminine energy. >> I heard there's hot lady boys, but I don't know. >> Would you How long do you think you're in there until you would accept like a lady boy? >> That's a great question. >> Would you actually or no? >> Interesting. Yeah. How long? >> Depends on how convinced I am. >> No, they're like they're like >> Is it the the hot tie ones? >> They look like Tracy Morgan in The Longest Yard. >> No. No. The hot tie ones. The hot tie on one if they're super hot Taiwans. >> He was very pretty in that movie. >> I feel like the only reason I would want to be with them is to show off to other guys in there that I could have the hottest girl here.
6:43 >> Oh, so he has a point of pride. >> What? >> It's like a dominance thing. >> It's for clout. >> It's for your reputation, dude. >> I don't love her. >> It's for respect. Got it. But it's like like >> you just want the best stuff. >> 20 guys want her. So I'm like you can't have her. >> Wow. >> It's like I have all the Top Ramen. You want ████ Top Ramen? And and >> it's a it's a sign of status. >> Today's video is brought to you by Uncommon Goods. Holiday shopping season is officially here. Uncommon Goods takes the stress out of gifting with thousands of unique highquality finds you won't see anywhere else. For example, you have your own Christmas tree grow kit. Super cool. Comes in this little wooden package, and all you have to do is pour the seeds into the soil, water it, wait 2 to 3 weeks, and you can repot it, and
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8:23 thererecord. That's uncommons.com/off thererecord for 15% off. uncommon goods. We're all out of the ordinary. >> But then, she's not wanting you for you. She's wanting you for the Top Ramen. >> Yeah, she's a gold digger, dude. >> Yeah, >> I guess so. >> Oh, man. Wait, do I have somebody on the outside or it's done? Like >> No, you do have somebody on the outside. But >> Oh, then No, I don't want to. I don't want to. >> No, no, but your sentence is 50 years. >> Oh, life in prison. Yeah, we're all doing life in prison. >> It's not life. It's 50. >> Do we get conjugal visits? >> Yeah. How do you sign up for that? Yes. >> Okay. As long as I could have a woman's puss puss, I I don't think I'll turn. >> Oh, >> yeah. >> No, no, no. You get to see them, but you don't get to ████ them. >> Like they you visit and you see them, but >> that's okay. But they have they do have conjugal visits though where you can ████ with
9:14 you go to a separate room or whatever and you guys could do it. >> But you're not allowed them cuz you're dangerous. >> They won't let you. >> Oh, if you have a dangerous crime. >> So I'm going to be on the ████ glass with like kind of hand like going like this. That's okay. >> Really? >> As long as I have a wife and a female contact, I don't think I can do it. >> Oh wow. But if they're super hot, I might h I might I might go against what I'm thinking right now. >> Hey, what if you get a bunch of uh pen pals, dude? >> No, that'll be cheating. >> Yeah. Yeah, you better not, dude. >> Yeah. >> And they send you pictures of themselves and you're like, >> "Yeah, I'd rather jack off to a picture because it, like I said, it's how convincing are they?" >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Can you really imagine? I saw this one prison documentary where there was a uh there was a lady boy dude
10:05 >> and then he had a boyfriend. They were madly in love. They're always like together. >> Yeah. >> And then and then they're like basically they were like, "Yeah, after we both get out like we're going to still stay a couple." >> After they got out, he ████ ghosted her. And then cuz they did a followup and then she was just like, "Yeah, I don't know." Like we were we were supposed to be together, but uh and she she was he was making some excuses. Doesn't that happen a lot? I've heard that's like a a common thing. >> It's like, dude, he kept you com comfortable inside a prison, but outside you don't want anything to do with it. That ain't real. >> It's a real woman outside. >> But that's what Big Herk always says. >> Yeah. >> Big Herk says when guys go to jail, they don't just start messing with other dudes. They go into jail and they start messing with other dudes cuz they're already gay. >> That's what he believes. Yeah. >> And I believe Big Herk. I think >> I kind of believe that because like I
10:56 don't know how long it would take to metamorphosize into gay. >> Let's do the test. Let's do the study. >> Like how long would it take for you and what's the gateway gay? Is it like is it like lady boy first and then you go to like >> what are the options? >> Well, I think the gateway would probably be like a lady boy cuz it's still got a wiener but it's got a beautiful face. Are you talking like the way like a Pokemon evolves? >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> So like and then you're like, "Well, my girlfriend had a dick and I sucked the ████ out of that, so a dick is not too bad." And then you go into the next phase where you're like, "What about it's a hot man?" So it's like not an ugly person, but it's a hot man and it's kind of he's kind of feminine. So you go to that >> because >> you go with a twink. Yeah.
11:46 >> Yeah. Like if you're still like dominant. >> Yeah. >> It doesn't feel as gay as like you go straight to getting butt rammed by ████ Tyrone. >> Oh my god. >> Like a ████ linebacker comes give it that ass and you're just bending over. >> So that makes you gay if like you're a victim of that type of assault. >> I'm not saying that. I'm not saying this. I'm not saying this. Right. No. But wanting it wanting that want. No. But but the but the I'm making fun of the guys that think penetrating is not gay. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Because they call them like men that have sex with men, but they're not gay. They're they they're like, "I'm not gay because I do the ████ >> If to them it's the straightest thing you can do." >> And those guys in prison say that. They'll be like, "I'm not gay cuz I'm doing the ████ >> guys out of prison say that." Is that not true though? That's a whole
12:36 community of guys. >> Yeah, it's a it's a community. I'll get you on the message boards if you want. >> I'm like, that's pretty gay. If you want to bend a man over and ████ him, that's pretty gay. >> But then like maybe cuz they don't have the uh emotional attachment or the attraction. >> Yeah. They're like it's just a like a moist hole or something. >> Moist hole. >> I don't even I don't even think I can get turned on from a moist hole on a man. >> But now you say that, but in like four months and then they >> four months. That's it. >> Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. >> That's his break point. Wait, wait, >> break. >> That's no time at all. >> But okay, like one year. >> No, but four months is without seeing a lady. Ryan, >> weren't you in ANA for longer than 4 months? >> Yes, but you still see like teachers and stuff. >> Oh, okay. >> And you jerk off to them.
13:26 >> Most of the teachers were dudes, too. >> Yes, but feminine ones. >> Four months. >> I remember jerking off to a teacher. >> What was What was his name? >> Okay. And then after the teacher after the teacher, how how soon were you like it's time to go on to Jeremy now >> to Jeremy? >> If the but if the teacher is still there cuz this is like four I think you you just you know like you rotate or whatever or like whatever. >> Yeah. You're going to see correctional officers that are female. >> Exactly. Oh, that's true. That's true. But then if there's zero, it's all due. >> There's still girls in there. Yeah. You're going to see a couple here and there >> in the prison. >> Yeah. The correctional ████ They ████ the prisoners. Yeah. Or nurse. >> Okay. Yeah. See, >> that's what you do. You try to you try to marry the nurse. You try to marry the nurse. >> I think I'm going to need like like a 100 years. >> You go for the nurse >> for me to turn. I think I need a 100
14:16 years of >> 100 years. You're like an oak tree. >> Wait. That tree is gay, man. It's >> deep roots, brother. >> I think I need a >> No, like four years. >> Four years. What if it was a pretty like man? >> Yeah, that's what I'm saying. >> Like a hot like Thai The minute I see a ████ dick pop out, I'm like, "Oh, >> no." They hide it and they tuck it back. >> They hide it. >> They go like this when you're ████ them. >> What do you mean? >> They cover like they they like, you know. >> So, you only do it on the butthole. >> You do them in a butthole. They they uh they bend over. >> What if there's none of that and all you do is kiss, she sucks your dick, and hand job. >> Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. So you don't even see any of >> and you could you could you could just imagine. >> Can we get you in four years? >> How how nice are her titties? His
15:07 >> They're nice. >> Amazing. >> A B cub. >> I'm telling you like top A+ tie lady. >> Yeah. >> The top. >> This is You see this? This is a A. >> And that's all you got. >> So hands hands, mouth, and titties. That's all I see. >> And everybody's going to be jealous of you, too. >> But she But she got bigger hands than you, though. >> What? >> What? No. >> She has bigger hands than you. Six foot tie fighter. Oh, now we're taking it away. We're sorry. Super hot >> Thai lady boy. Only waist up. >> Yeah. >> Two weeks. My ████
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