0:00 [Music] welcome back to careful boys we are very careful boys very very careful today we're going to talk about uh what's your worst argument you have with your folks um worst argument i ever had my parents uh was with me and my mom actually it's with both of them and uh man i i hardly remember what we were even fighting about but i think it had something to do with i had like a friend who like overstayed his welcome like he just kept hanging out way too long and then my dad was like upset about it like he kept sleeping over here this was like this was back when we were like 16 and yeah some dude who was like he's one of those like pathological liar guys that just like he was like the boyfriend of a friend of mine so he just kept hanging out but i think he really ran away from home
0:51 so he was just hanging out all the ████ time and my dad was like dude tell this guy to go home and then uh and then uh i just he was so cool that i could i'm like this guy's so ████ cool and then uh my dad was so pissed that uh he was like i'm gonna take him on myself so my dad like uh told him to like get in the car my dad drove him home and it turned out he lived in like ████ san diego or some ████ so my dad drove him to san diego oh my god i remember my mom being really pissed about it because like at the time i was still a little ████ and i was really combative and then my mom started like yelling at me about like how irresponsible is you don't even know him you're letting him in the house you're letting him do all this ████ and i got so uh pissed at her like i had like a ████ teen anger problem or some ████ so we start arguing like full blast i start yelling at her and i don't really yell at her a lot i would kind of walk away from bad fights at that age and just not come back for a while but this
1:42 night i was super shouting at her and then she in the middle of our fight literally had a heart attack oh my god oh my god ████ god that's just the luck of having an argument with you i guess a heart attack yeah it was pretty what did that look like it just collapsed and then so she was like like in the movies you know how they do exactly what you think it is it's like that over overly dramatic like it was like my left arm grades of heart attack right there's some that you're just ████ done you're gone and then like as you go down like somewhere it's like discomfort and then you oh and then you can't move hers was it was a lower grade thank god but yeah she she collapsed and i was just like holding her and then how did you process it was at first like what the ████ are you doing and then like oh ████ were you like i hope you don't think that you won the argument because of this ████
2:32 no it's like i think like it's one of those things you you just immediately like if it's your own mom like you just immediately forget about that's why it's hard for me to remember what we were fighting about because like that takes precedence in my mind about that night and i was just i called the um one and i'm just holding her and i'm like ████ they get here in time and she can't really speak she's like oh it's just like hurts and then from then on like i i mean the the fire department they sent the fire truck of course and the ambulance and then they they took her and then um she uh went to the hospital and then my dad came home oh and then did he blame you for it oh 100 did even no did you tell him like we were fighting and then she got a heart attack so mature of him by the way he knew everything because like i don't know i don't remember exactly
3:22 like if i told him or if he the hospital like called them or something i but then he just ████ knew everything and he came home and that's like the i think one of two times i've seen my dad cry it was like at a funeral of my cousin and then this time he was crying in front of me and he was and i remember him like he was like had like a murderous rage and he was like if anything happens to her i swear to god and he was like gonna kill me like literally holy ████ she was that like pissed oh my god and then uh she my mom made a full recovery i think it was fine since then i've never uh fought with them again like that was like 16. did that actually help your guys's relationship it did because i think it improved my own ████ s█████████ like i just like was like no what argument's worth that what argument is worth like seeing that happen like why do you think why do things have to even get that heated it doesn't and like when you
4:12 really look at a lot of problems at least for me at the time the root of it really was my dumb ass like that was my fault i let this ████ guy i don't even know hang out with us so much and sleep over and like you know this kid was like a ████ runaway like what am i thinking you know but you don't see any of that because when you're that age you just you're just focused on being the coolest ████ guy possible coolest dude sickest dude ever i'm not focused on that now by the way yeah i don't even think about that it would hurt your like coolness to tell a guy who you think is cooler than you that he can't come over anymore it's like ah ████ i know and it's almost like they took away your like best toy yeah it was like your plate like your fun time it's such a stupid thing tell me zack morris can't come over anymore yes i wish he was that cool i uh i told my well i found out through the grapevine of my uncle that my aunt have been talking ████ on my
5:03 parents and my parents have done some amazing ████ like my parents take care of my grandmother my grandma's 90 ████ two years old my mom helps my grandma go to the bathroom every ████ day my mom helps my grandma do everything every ████ day but nobody knows that because my mom doesn't ████ tell anybody doesn't ████ to them doesn't go telling them all the ████ she's going through all the stuff that she's dealing with by the way she's doing this ████ and she had cancer doing the ████ she's in remission now thank god thank you seriously but like it's like she was going through all this ████ right and this is pre-cancer stuff but this is like a couple years ago but still my mom is a saint right and so hearing that my aunt was saying some ████ about my folks like i went nuts right i went absolutely
5:53 not so you fought with their aunt oh yeah i lit her the ████ up i lit her like a ████ christmas tree in the middle of july was it on the phone or was it in the face no i i texted her because i only had her number on the on the text was there a lot of bucks in there there's a lot of like accusations um i basically just just said hey i heard you're talking ████ on my folks you won't even you don't even deserve to ████ say their name you know and i just let her the ████ have it and uh my father was mad at me about it because he felt like i got in the middle of his uh my mom's relationship with her sister but i was like you know what if her sister's a piece of ████ who cares but like you know i get it so my dad was mad about that but i'm like you know what like to me old man you were supposed to do this not me
6:45 because that's a uh that's his job that's your job to protect his wife you're supposed to do that but i did it instead so whatever and you know so it was one of those things where i really i don't have any regrets about it i'm glad i did it um unfortunate an unfortunate reality of that is that anytime some drama goes down in my family now they try to keep it from me because they're afraid i'll ████ blow this the equalizer but dude it's just you know what like my family's full of introverts i'm the only extroverted person in my whole so they all keep it to themselves all keepers themselves they let build like a ████ huge mountain nice and i just don't know how to deal with that i don't know how to not say what i think and um so i just that's that's my ████ right and i'm not saying i'm not sitting here
7:35 saying oh yeah what about us i am i'm just saying like i that's just how i deal with ████ i have to release the valve or i just think about it i can't go to sleep so you fought with your dad because of that one dad because of it that was a pretty big fight yeah that was the biggest one we've had i wish i had a dad to fight with but you don't even have one i guess that was the last thing i did i told the story here is i yelled at him and it was very good yeah i wish he was around that i can consistently yell at him every day me too so we can mine contact for a minute how is your relationship with your aunt now i don't talk to her at all he just cut he just was honestly dead very few people are dead to me in my life what would it take would it take her like apologizing for yeah but she wouldn't own any of it she actually just completely said that none of that happens all ████ oh she's denied is she a narcissist who thinks that it's never her face that everything that she
8:25 involves herself with is for the betterment of whatever is she subscribed i hope so she should um she should also check out the patreon um but no but it was yeah it's just one of those things where it's like hey dude you're just dead to me i don't care there was enough going on like when i was growing up with her there was um uh my uncle bob who died of aids and he was gay so if you guys want to do any age jokes and go ahead and get them on your sister maybe in a minute okay mine's more of a knock knock than an aids joke okay cool if you guys have any monkey pops you're also just hitting me with that while i'm down oh you're down but but no uh but no he was a an avid comic book collector like avid right like he had like every ████ comic book he had like super boy number
9:16 one and ████ and like superman number one would have been tight but super boy number one that's worth thousands right in action comics yeah yeah yeah it's like a limited edition controller unfortunately he mostly focused on weird sci-fi ████ so it's like you know we have like it came from outer space like number one oh yeah yeah a george mcfly ████ yeah george mcfly ████ so it's like great nobody collected this ████ so all the collect people who would have collected this ████ are dead so thanks for doing that best buyers don't exist anymore it's over um but no but so when he died um there was this huge dust up in my family of like who gets what and like my folks were like who gives a ████ like my dad actually went to you know his house after because they lived in pennsylvania or he lived in pennsylvania and we lived in virginia so
10:06 like it was a short drive for us compared to the family so by the time my folks got there all my relatives were there just raiding the house getting his coins and all those little ████ ████ of ████ ████ right so my folks are just like my dad was just sitting there like just remembering my great uncle that's his brother no so that was my grandfather's brother oh great uncle yeah my great uncle right so then um yeah so then by the end of it like we got like i don't know carpet steamer out of it like we didn't it wasn't about came up it wasn't about what you get but then the the idea was that we would just split up the comic book collection because who gives a ████ but then um you know my aunt cleaned out his bank accounts and like so she took like a ████ like all of his money that if she was supposed to be because she's like a
10:56 super smarty teacher she was supposed to be distributing all this stuff like to the family but she took it all instead and just said like what a mess oh no he left it all like no no no this is what he wanted and all this ████ but that's not what he wanted for her only for her only and so it's just like this ████ thing that like money matters more than family all this stuff ████ so by the time that we get to this part of like hearing that my aunt talk ████ on my folks i'm like you're done ████ yeah for you it was already the breaking point that keg's already lit that strike ████ four he's like i better hear i better if she does it again maybe he's so used to her ████ that at this point it's just a cycle but to me i'm like this should have been you you should have done this yeah i'm not emasculating him i'm just we're just different people what was your dad saying back at you when you were telling him you should i got between my mom and her
11:46 sister i shouldn't have done that i ████ things up for them but now my mom is like yo my sister's a piece of ████ because she's done a bunch of stuff since then to prove it even more right than like seven years six years ago does your dad agree that it was his job to do that before you ████ said i won't say that to him oh you didn't tell him that's your job oh i don't want to destroy his soul i am petty but not to my father i love my phone oh that's interesting you spared him that way i did that's good i i think a little bit differently where um i hold grudges with my family members and i make them pay so like it's different you've done something um but i maybe you know it's not as severe as what your parents did or something like that so maybe um i like to see them suffer a little
12:37 bit and then i can forgive them i get it yeah so like i remember like you know i didn't have the best relationship with my mom and all that stuff and then um it got to the point where she started to be more understanding of me as a human being so like we fought all the time um and she was a great mom in the sense where like she did her best with the knowledge that she had you know like being in a conservative christian household you're stubborn you don't think outside the box you don't think of other ways to parent you just kind of blame your kids right so then no matter what there was never a discussion about anything it was just you're wrong and you're possessed by the devil and then so and i think i was super mental but then but then eventually like um she got to the point where like after my dad left and all that stuff like she had to look at herself and and then you know
13:28 there comes a time when it's like you can't just keep blaming people uh for why something's not the way you want it to be like she would blame my brother for influencing me she would blame my dad she would blame all these other things right but then she's like i never thought that there will be a time where i would be alone with no husband and all this ████ and then now i'm like distancing myself from my son so she had she had a huge like wake-up call and i'm like okay i'm gonna let you marinate in that first second because some people would be like no no you know what that's that's that's okay like no you're a great mom but for me i was like i'm gonna let you suffer for the next five years until i'm gonna give you any affection yeah and then and then to me that journey for her she was like you know going through counseling she was reading books and then she would cry and call me up and be like you know
14:20 i ████ up and then like i heard the apologies and i'm like that's good that's good i think i need a couple more years of this holy ████ yeah and then but then she wasn't the only one i did this to my uncle beat the ████ out of me when i was a kid um because he was embarrassed that i got lost in this church thing right and after that i s you know i i was everything clearly labeled was no directions for anything no i i yeah i guess i was uh the campus cops found me and and i was just eating cake hanging out and i guess we were making friends and ████ right and then when my uncle came through i didn't know he was embarrassed he did the whole like laughing and then when by the time they you know he took me to the tent he beat the ████ out of me so i was like i was screaming up a storm was he
15:25 then so like i ████ yelled like crazy right and then like all the people were coming out and they're just like what's going on stop that ████ and he got even more embarrassed right oh yeah what the ████ it's way worse right right and i milked that ████ i was like yeah he was hitting me so much he's gonna make this ████ go to jail and then so like it like my parents begged me to ████ change the story i was like all right and i was like i can't wait to ████ spread this rumor at church i'm gonna ████ this guy and i was like one day i'm gonna get big like my body's gonna be big and i'm gonna ████ this ████ up and that's all i obsessed about and then i was like one day i'm gonna get bigger and then last couple months ago he had a heart attack and then i was just like thinking hey dude you shouldn't keep getting so angry all the time and a piece of me was like saying like ████ you ████
16:16 that's what happens when you have an anger problem but the other piece of me is like dude i love this guy he was a gangster bro he was a great ████ uncle there's a part of you know like not all abusers apologize for what happened oh no he's a narcissist like he never dude he's same thing like my dad he's your dad's brother he's married to my mom's sister okay so so same thing like with my dad right like his he had an intervention with my my cousins who are his kids and they're like you used to beat the ████ out of us you threw me in a closet and let didn't let me out for like six hours like you tortured us driving a blood uncle yeah so so then so then so then they had this intervention and he goes i never hit you guys oh same ████ god repressed his marriage all this stuff right so then they're like unless you change you can't see our kids
17:06 that's what they said to him yeah holy ████ and then so for me like completely changed like he doesn't ████ with me anymore like i love the dude like we have conversations but then i still enjoy mentally ████ with him sometimes and be like remember when you ████ me up like it was fun wasn't it yeah and then it's like and i'm just like dude and we'll just be eating and i'll be like yeah isn't it awesome that i pursued my dreams and didn't have to listen to your like kind of advice because if i chose what you wanted me to do and you kept pressing me to not like pursue things like i would have failed at life right and then he would have been and he was like yeah you know i realized that people should all pursue their dreams and all of his kids are like that's what we've been ████ trying to tell you i just watch this and i'm like that's right ████ like jk will be dead within a year
17:56 but like i don't know like like like that pettiness of me of just like i want to torture this guy oh even though i i care about him it's such a weird feeling it is weird it's a conflict yeah i don't know but i don't fight with them i love them i know they change and i feel like people all have like these different kind of demons and weaknesses once dad pisses bart off yeah i was telling him like uh in between the break i was like damn i'm like i'm like fighting with my dad like every day right now currently now currently right now so i actually don't even know what the like message or the lesson is because it's not it's it's all muddy it's not i haven't articulated even a thought process yet but it just feels really good to yell at him i know that feeling that wasn't me yeah so we just sold like literally
18:46 every day how much are you hanging though huh how much are you guys hanging what do you mean like i'm living in your spot right now right how much do you see him well he lives with us yeah but like we don't we don't really like that's what i'm saying yeah we live so i see him every day and then every day he talks to me about the same ████ and then and then i give him answers to the same ████ and then he goes oh that's really good and he goes back to his old thoughts so i think that's the part that it's like you're living with joe maybe i don't know i stopped my scooters all the time dude yeah can't stop talking about scooters but yeah but i think i think my dad's actually a narcissist like like after talking to him now i'm like holy ████ i'm like you're not listening to me this guy really can't uh because like everything that he talks about like he'll do something and he blames the other person for not taking it the way that he wanted it oh like he
19:38 was like i don't understand like everyone wants this i'm like no not everyone will do he got he got ████ butt hurt at me because he made me that red bean dessert and i didn't eat it every day yeah like the biggest thing of the red bean dessert i should have ate it every day and i told him oh this is sick right and then after that every ████ day he had a big bowl of it in the fridge and i was like ████ dude after like seven days of it every day i can't eat it no more yeah he can't he hasn't pooped you know and he he said he got his feelings hurt because i lied to him that i didn't ████ like it and i and i and and i left it in the fridge and i'm like who makes a dessert with legumes it's ████ delicious it's pretty good but not every day right not that much not a big bowl yeah right now the uh the biggest thing is um that we're dealing with is my dad had this crazy epiphany that he wants to get back with my mom
20:28 oh that's a real thing and they got divorced when i was six yeah so my dad was like hey you know what i've been thinking and then he's like i'm like 70 something i'm probably gonna die on my own her mom is like 70 something she's probably gonna die on her own he goes like why do we even need to do that there's two people perfect in this world for each other and he's like you know what i see i see like me your mom gio taika and you just sitting at the dinner table and we're just having a nice family dinner and i told my dad i'm like you know that vision that you have i'm like out of the seven billion people in this world i'm like you know how many people have that fantasy it was how many i'm like just you know what no your mom doesn't think like this i'm like no she want a ████ cause you're at you dumbass i'm like she's ████ living her own life she was stuck in
21:19 taiwan for ████ two or two years because the pandemic she did she text you once no she comes here does she text you once she hates him dude give me her awesome buddhist ████ life right and she was like no your mom needs someone to take care of i just know it so it's just one of those things where it's like no matter what evidence you prohibit you're manifested enough you're like for for him it's like you should tell him to write poetry it's a tv movie for him so he's actually gonna try to pursue this like he's gonna put some action into it yeah like everything he's like okay like i'll talk him out of it right like why it's a dumb thing to do yeah and then he goes all right all right let me let me think about it and then the next day i'm like cool you thought about it so what's it like goes like man your mom 70 me 70 we're gonna die a lot it's like the same dude it's it's ████ jlo and ben affleck yeah exactly ████ stuck in his brain so the data doesn't change even though you don't even speak and
22:11 then as soon as she starts talk so they've been talking and then she'll tell me about all these things about how like my mom's unhappy with him and he's unhappy with the way my mom wants they've been texting now yeah so like my mom was like all right if you want to come back into her life she's like uh here's like a coat of conduct you have to follow oh she's like we're gonna ████ have this contract this is the most bart ████ i've ever heard about how it comes from when you come back into my life you're not coming back in as my husband because you ████ that up for over 30 years you're coming in as bart's dad you get to stay in the front room and here is the contract that we're going to live we're going to be friends but we're not going to be like romance partners and after you sign we're going to get this ████ ████ notarized and if you ████ up i'm kicking your ass out of here damn you gonna do a notary why do you have to do it just to get a third witness just to get a third witness that's the most bart ████ ever too yeah it's all so
23:01 barty and yeah so i was like and this one you know where it comes from yeah so he'll explain all that to him like that's why she's like is your mom crazy i'm like but you knew this you knew who mom was and you already know that this is what she's gonna come back like why do you expect her to act differently yeah i'm like no one thinks the way you do no one thinks the way mom does both of you guys are crazy as ████ you guys have never got together but how nice is she to actually even consider it i know draft a contract with a notarized contract exactly right because there's like an inch of her saying i'll try this out yeah you know like computerizes the word that's ████ wild i'm in the middle of it i don't know what to make of it just yet it's just ████ i was like oh ████ i think my dad's a narcissist bart bart it's christmas day year is 20 23. one 2023 three okay you're there it's
23:51 geo you taika your mom and your dad your dad's carving the ████ christmas hat he looks at you and he's like told you folks you ████ he said seven leads in your mom's ear and he's like she's like she's like oh my god oh my god later later she goes by the way we haven't announced it [Music] the first ever [Music]
24:50 you
// end of tape