0:00 okay so they don't know who what the hell happened around well they said her ████ was throbbing yeah that's the first thing they checked so she was in the middle of an orgasm don't worry I'm a lesbian doctor [Music] okay we need another uh JK mystery team assembly let's go baby this one's gonna be really hard to figure out because there is no answer to what the hell happened here but it's a really interesting story there's always an answer there's never a question oh we're gonna hear it today New York okay this kid leaves his house on a skateboard to go get food at 8 50 PM right yeah makes sense does it all the time just casual day in uh Manhattan keep in mind the sidewalks in New York are ████ up they are and how do they skate at a certain time of night there's so much trash outside like on the ████
0:50 curb but you couldn't skate around that no he went to get a chopped cheese or something right or a Halal Guys yeah Halal Guys it could be or a pizza so he leaves his house 8 50 p.m on a skateboard starts going by 9 13 p.m he's checked into the hospital with no explanation and half of his skull is missing 23 minutes half of his skull accident those ████ sidewalk so that's what he he really doesn't think that he just fell he don't remember oh he doesn't he doesn't remember and there's no record there's even the hospital doesn't even have a record of how he got did someone chop off the half of his head he thinks that it was a hit and run and and that person who hit him might have been someone important enough to erase like that's way easier than that so you know in those ████ New York buildings always got those goddamn
1:41 fire escapes yeah so someone was just trying to sneak out and then he hit the button where the ████ ladder just went down and just smashed him in the head that only happens but why would they so simple and the ladder goes back up it's clean at some point someone called it an ambulance for him so they saw him on the street yeah but it's New York everyone Minds their own business so they go hey I'm walking yeah oh ████ father yeah the realization when he sees the guy with a skull missing he's like yeah that sentence has never had a question mark until now and it's a perfect scenario he probably failed with oh and he's perfectly pressed three nine on 911 numbers the crazy thing is that whoever called whoever called the ambulance reported it as a drug overdose hey there's a ████ crackhead here
2:31 yeah that could be it yeah New Yorkers are judgy though yeah so that's the only thing is that there's on the paperwork it's it's recorded as a drug overdose but actually he had like such a bad concussion and uh it was hemorrhaging to the point where they had to cut his skull off oh ████ so it was blunt force trauma or something to his head that's what caused it is there any other injuries to the rest of his body like bending broken bones nothing well he was sucked completely dry out of his dick foreign we did a whole report and he had no sperm in that nut sack his balls empty that's the first thing they check when they see a guy check his dick he's like concussion he's like don't worry I'm a gay doctor yeah I got this I know this karyotypical gay
3:22 yeah so it's been two years since this happened wow and uh this story is kind of making you know Headway now because there's still no answer to it no ring cameras trying to figure it out no cameras anywhere he's still alive he's still alive yeah he can he has a piece of his skull that he can hold in his hand the size of his hand whoa what if he'd really did just slip and then fall on the back of his head yeah that's what that's what he's being told but he's just not convinced that that happened yeah but also and then a bystander could have been like yeah some junkies ████ knocked out here all right and then they walk away like ████ because because when guys get like hardcore blunt force trauma like that sometimes they tend to forget what happened yeah that's true today not that I think you're gonna know this because I sit in that chair all the time do they put like a plate there now
4:12 yeah okay no I don't know yeah exactly I figured I think they do put a metal plate yeah yeah and crazy a piece of his skull came out like a ████ three green onion pen well it's like in you know like when you're when your brain is swelling the only thing they can do is make room for the swelling yeah because they can't chop your brain off right or let's say lobotomize you so what what are people thinking that it is well there's there's people there are people that think that he just fell and he just hit his head someone ran a person said hey some somebody's on an OD or something because he was probably spazzing so they called that and then the hospital came and then someone just lost the record and then the conspiracy side of it thinks that you know an affluent person hit him accidentally driving like a rich person and then you know they got him in the hospital and then they said hey I was never here because if he got hit by a
5:02 car it would be he would have more than just his like skull being broken you know like he would probably have other residual like damage unless the car just like hit a ramp and just got him in the head the back of a scooter hit him or something if it's a fast movie and a fast movie that would happen oh yeah yeah yeah have you guys diesel was behind the wheel have you guys ever seen a knight of oh yeah HBO it was like just we only had one season and it's based off a true story and it's this uh this guy he dates a chick and I believe um they they go to his his house they bang and I think when he wakes up or something or maybe he left um I'm telling the story The Way Joe would tell it because I forgot what happened yeah but when they arrived at the chick's house she would stabbed the ████ up like 30 times and he was the
5:53 last person at her house and they still don't know what happened how did they bang was it doggy style um good question I think so it was one of the positions did she even get to calm though because that's what I think they checked the clitoris and it was throbbing so I think so maybe yeah okay so they don't know who what the hell happened around well they said her ████ was throbbing yeah that's the first thing they checked so she was in the middle of an orgasm don't worry I'm a lesbian doctor from television you know one of those famous ones from 90s must-see TV from an infantile Television TV show so anyone have any other theories besides those two on what happened to this guy I've seen an old man walk on ████ Garfield Avenue in the the dumpster the trash truck was backing up and then you know they have all these Jagged parts and it just hits them in the back of the head and then he
6:44 just falls to the ground why was this dumbass walking there he's just being an old Asian man I guess and then he was just like just walking and then he hits the ground he starts crying and ████ oh uh oh my God what did the dumpster guy go oh ████ I don't even think he knew what oh yeah cause how would you know you're gonna feel it I was with my dad and you know like Asian dads always have a ████ stack of napkins like this from the glove compartment so I just I grabbed out and I grabbed like a whole ████ stack and I ran to the old dude and um I think another couple of bystanders all had to come out and tell the dumpster to stop backing up because he's just doing his job and you know those things got Hydraulics and ████ yeah it's a ████ loud ass car it's crazy yeah so you don't even know what the ████ so after you saved him did he teach you Buddhist palm no he started crying I was gonna start laughing because it looks so funny so I
7:34 had to leave crazy what's crazy is growing up like every time there was a mess in my car my dad wasn't an Asian Dad so we never had any napkins exactly so your dad doesn't steal napkins dude I have tons of napkins in my ████ club no because he laughed he cried like the he cried like the viral video when you're being serious you really were gonna laugh at him yeah cause I was helping him and he's bleeding right do your best oh I was like oh if I gotta leave I was like I gotta he's like I can't I can't ████ be here for this ████ maybe he was doing his own ambulance sound so he would get their attention yeah hit the right octave because he's so old there was no 9-1-1 they just had a ████ that gets the ambulance's attention oh ████ someone's hurt sounds like we're already over there let's not go there
8:25 you have to leave man well a trash truck could hit this kid yeah it could be and then it could have just went away and then maybe at the same time another car was speeding so someone thought it was a hit and run but it wasn't him usually for like mysterious situations like this I tend to gravitate toward the most simplest yeah usually I agree too I think he fell yeah so my New York friend he told me a story of uh one of his friends or something like that where he had one of those uh rentable scooters and hit like a pothole or something because the New York sidewalks are like ████ up yeah and I went in a coma what the he just hit it flew just comb up that's why you gotta wear a helmet you know I've done so much interest ████ in this world and I'm so lucky nothing ever happened to me dude a coma from that I saw a video of this
9:15 kid he was riding on one of those ████ runnable scooters uh front wheel hit something went forward right fell on the ground and when you fell a ████ truck came ran him over and then he got up oh yeah what yeah because he did the thing in mi3 where he's just like went flat stupid I guess the wheels like didn't hit him and he just went right under it right there is correct he was like this and then Philip Seymour Hoffman spoiler ████ taken out yeah and all that's left is a shoe no but but like as far as like how fragile our brains are I used to work in uh in college I still work at like an aquatic therapy place and um a lot of people yeah you just help people that have had traumatic uh it's like rehab for yeah like people that can't walk that well in person like so it's like lesser gravity yeah so they're in the
10:05 pool and they're doing their exercises ████ like that uh one of my the guys I used to work with he he was like a chiropractor dude he was in the bathroom one day just fainted hit his head TBI could barely walk couldn't do anything like his very low brain function and it just like something like that just falling like that not even on a skateboard could just change your whole ████ life did you did you be like you so weak full yeah no I didn't say that oh that's crazy I didn't say that I should have I should have necked humor is the best medicine they say it's scary how fragile we are yeah because like you you slip in the shower that's one of the that happens like it's one of the leading causes of deaths in America is like simple accidents at the home like especially the back of your head dude the back of your head crazy that's why you gotta have the ████ little uh designs on
10:57 the bottom of the tub oh yeah that Grandma had a little grip tape it looks like flowers and ████ Jill's ████ mom has one of those bathrobes that are so goddamn old doesn't have the the rubber bottom anymore so it slips one time I came out and I ████ stepped a little bit too far and I ████ slipped like this [Laughter] like that like that's so scary bro it happens and it happens it happens I think it's scary if you're a tall guy like you 40 000 people you got a longer way down man a long way down it's like Timber but I am for some reason like a ████ draft like I trip so often and I never ████ eat ████ could you save yourself I got a good little amount of leg whatever the ████ you got good balance yeah well I don't think it's that I just think my legs just just catch myself from quickly but I have ████ balance actually oh really yeah dog
11:47 ████ balance for sure [Music]
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