0:07 are thinking on a different wavelength you can't solve it [Music] can anybody explain what is happening in this photograph what is that oh is that a like some kind of a vegetable that kind of looks yeah it's a preserved human being mummy baby it's a mommy baby why is the head so big though it looks like a mummy baby I hope it's not a mommy baby it's not a mommy baby looks like a mushroom but it is definitely definitely a mummified remains of a human whoa why uh and it's in a delivery man's bag uh it's like a doordash style bag that's ████ up Oh I thought that was sunbathing The Mummy was sunbathing no like what it
0:58 looked like to me is somebody um made like a oh like they're drying it out like a shrine kind of thing because they like to keep this baby like oh you're still alive even though you did baby and they're like baby you want some slime that is so dark so then they put they put it outside oh that's what she meant that's their little uh what do you call it like a little Cabana like an area they got their little you know that crazy person would do that I was like the Mommy needs some sun yeah so police in Peru have seized this mummified human believed to be between 600 and 800 years old whoa from a former 26 year old food delivery man The Mummy I know you guys are looking at me like what the ████ yeah exactly crazy this mummy was found nestled in this isothermal bag that the man named Julio
1:48 Caesar burmejo had once used to deliver food to people's homes Vermejo has been arrested and will remain a detention while investigators delve further into the strange case but this guy claims that this mummy is his spiritual girlfriend that's ████ up okay that's ████ up I mean how did he get that 600 year old mummy though so he claims to have cared for this mummy who uh he calls Juanita 30 years after his father brought it home oh so it's like been passed down so his father's an archaeologist that stole it he's dead I don't think his dad's archaeologist I don't think so dude Indiana Holmes dude he's got a bunch of little brushes that he uses like hey Junior come over here but he brings it around in one of those bags it's freaking nasty
2:38 in an interview ████ Junior you ever see anything like this before that's just ████ it's at least like 500 years old at least this is where what's uh this is in uh Peru I don't know the accents he said Mexican it is I just love their food go ahead continue he stops that ████ at least at least can I tell you something Japanese about Peru what please let me tell you this that back at funeral Japan a little bit later before later one of their presidents was Japanese Japanese guy born in Peru they're like
3:29 we need something different they're like all of our Peruvian presidents they've been too corrupt we need someone new and this guy was like a he was like a fifth grade teacher and so they're they're a sweet little couple and they're like you know what the Japanese improved they're good Farmers we could trust them there are they're they're they're one of us and so so he got elected the first ████ thing he did when he became president is he created a straight up kill Squad he developed in their own Commandos right these assassination groups that would go into the jungle and kill the Communists like opposing wow um yeah like totally violating these like laws out there and then so once he got caught for that and Corruption and all this other stuff he just ran away to
4:19 Japan he's not even a Japanese citizen he was born in Peru and he just seeped Asylum there and and that was it and they didn't extract him no he just ran away and they gave him Asylum damn yeah Japanese people are wild and when you see this guy he looks like a nerd dude he doesn't look like a guy that will create a Commando kill Squad and go out into the jungle and kill communist terrorists yeah he looks like a little ████ he looks like a kind of guy if you backhand his ass he'll fall on the ground and tell you sorry yeah you had a little surprised by your like understanding and knowledge of Japanese anything in random spots of the world well I'm American so I had to find some way to connect to my so uh in an interview with other reporters he describes how the mummy
5:09 sleeps beside him in his bedroom uh adding that he takes great care of it he says I take care of her I mean he's like bragging about it it's like my spiritual girlfriend the mummified remains are thought to be a pre-hispanic relic and an adult male individual oh Virginia duh he's gay dude oh my God presumably from the Eastern Area puno the region the Peruvian Andes some 1300 kilometers uh southeast of Lima so wow a specialist of the ministry has stated that the mummy is uh is of a man who is at least 45 years old and should be referred to as Juan rather than Juanita dang dude had it all wrong and the body was found wrapped in bandages in the fetal position that's fun how big is it it's 45 years old no 600 to 800 years
6:00 old believed it was no 45 though it was a 45 year old man oh yeah when he died yeah yeah but they shrunk him over time yeah they get smaller right I think I think in Joe's head it's still a baby that's Sunday there that's a baby but you know it probably got a lot smaller over time as as a mummified thing yeah they get like they reduce in size can you imagine them like he likes to sleep with his girlfriend right they're sleeping he goes no I can't do that I'm a virgin and then she's like she's like that's the role play that they have with each other shut up I'm a virgin we're not married yet and she goes nah but like we can be because we're like Spirit lovers he goes what you mean yeah if we're Spirit lovers we're married through Spirits it doesn't matter what the real world says he goes that means we command love and then he's like
6:50 kissing and ████ right and afterwards her mouth falls off he gets this news it was a 45 year old man and he's like I'm gay he lost his virginity to a 45 year old man yeah it's probably worth it like 645 years statutory my boy Juanita you're not who I thought you were you think he's just like yeah I'm gonna call her Juanita and then he's just like I'm just gonna go with it for for the next 30 Years this must have been passed down a lot of generations then huh I don't know I mean I mean like it's so weird dude and I found a mummified remain of anything obviously I don't know if I would take it home to pass down to my child that's because you're
7:41 not a good dad this is why I think the homeless problem in La is unsolvable because of this please explain how does that connect bro just wait because wait and I hope it connects to the Japanese guy Pedro ████ San Pedro and all skid row they're filled with ████ like this oh ████ that's my new girlfriend you know it's like that's how do you solve okay what are people's brains are thinking on a different wavelength you can't solve it yeah that's true that's true crap like these people Jason these people are like okay cool they're in Peru so you're not viewing them as homeless people you're viewing them as like Peruvian citizens and he has a normal job he's just delivering doordash yeah you're saying they're just crazy but if you but they're the exact same character types as I've seen all over La so you think we should just give the skid row people a bunch of
8:31 I think send them to Peru right in I don't think that's in the budget for the government I'd rather trade mummy dude than homeless dudes because at least mummy dude is doing doordash that's true with a body in the bag yeah but it's 600 years old no one's missing them no I mean I don't want my food with a body in the bag delivered in the same thing that's his girlfriend that's a boy that's a significant other bro she's gonna ride a shotgun while he's delivering you know I am seeing the pattern here the pattern in a lot of our videos is like how we always talk about like no matter what the context somehow joking connected to Japan yeah and I'm also announcing the pattern of regardless of the contacts somehow bar can complain about the homelessness which is why you need to move
9:26 see this is why the people of skid row are gonna be homeless forever I'll checks out if a mommy is that old right it's been so dried up to where all the bacteria and everything died anyway really so what do you why do you care why am I complaining that the mummies in the in the Food Bag yeah why what if the mummy what if the mommy help him why don't we have enough money to send homeless people to Peru send them there the homeless problem is a problem in L.A when I when I first when I first got here to La I thought it was going to be you know land of you palm trees beaches beautiful women that's what the postcards say we do have all three of those yes and a homeless guy jacking off though we don't have that yeah we didn't put that in the
10:16 postcard right right he might be jacking off onto the postcard yeah collecting diarrhea in a bucket and I just I just as I was you know as an Uber was just driving past the neighborhoods I was like oh my God yeah like these towns are pretty cool and it's funny because he's from New York he's from a city city and he goes we have homeless people but not like this not like that it's different it's different yeah today I I saw this homeless lady just jump on it was like uh uh you know those metal gates yeah uh and she just jumps on top of it like Spiderman wow I'm casually walking she jumps and looks at me it's like Spider-Man I gotta stop walking to this neighborhood that's my gym I gotta go but do you think if she jumped on it
11:06 looked at anyone like this and something came out to play along I was I was eating next to your neighborhood one time and then there was this guy a homeless guy he had his stuff and he was like asking for money for food and it was this nice little couple this lady she was like okay what do you want to order and then so he um you know he ordered some food to go and he goes ma'am you are so nice let me give you a show and then and then everyone was like a show and then she goes no it's okay goes no I need to do this and he pulls out his like Boombox right and he goes like we're so the restaurant was out here there's like a the eating area on the side of the road like in Thai town and this was during covet so like they even
11:56 brought out a part of the parking lot and the street where people could dine outside right so we're outside and everyone's watching like what is this dude about to do he goes into the middle of the road and then he ████ puts on music and he starts slowly pulling down his pants and underneath he has like some tight red ladies underwear and he's all like doing a seductive dance and then I was like this is the show he had to perform [Laughter] was it a good show though worth it it was it wasn't forget it was a very sexual confident man yeah but it was very unnecessary but he wanted to put on a show as a as a way of thank you so I see why you should move to Vegas Anthony that's why you should move here you get a show for a meal dude [Music]
12:51 foreign [Music]
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