0:00 [Music] so a a son carjacked his own mother isn't that normal she had it coming though dude wait like she was in the car and then he ████ put on abandon and ████ scared this ████ up or stole her car he was next to her in the car and he put on a band-aid and he turned he's like give me the car she's like oh ████ okay just take it whoa whoa whoa holy ████ i didn't see this ████ coming he's like who are you just don't hurt my son she's like one of the tables have turned it's like a little baby doing peek-a-poo mitch gets scared and ████ she was focused on driving she shouldn't even see what happens yeah she's focused on driving and then he did like a deep breath before he took his mask out like okay let's do this or he pulled his seat
0:50 all the way back yeah and then came up with the mask i was like yo i'll give you a ████ ████ like where the ████ did you come from who are you and she's like oh ████ yeah but he goes like this he goes like this peekaboo dude they rented a hyundai elantra oh good car they got into an argument over fast food it usually is yeah it always mcdonald's made me like cert like made me happy in many ways but also it was a root of a lot of past relationship fights really it is the common denominator because i think fast food is is not the first resort for most people it's almost the last resort right and you're hangry yeah that's a great one yeah if i could think of a lot of issues in my
1:41 relationships in the past yeah five girlfriends back to back mcdonald's drive-through that was one of the common denominators what would the issue be that they don't want mcdonald's no no like you're just fighting you don't i mean it's one of those things you fight for no reason it's never about the thing and then when you get that ████ hamburger and you eat you forget yeah and everything's cool so it saves your relationship it yeah that's true just a commercial for mcdonald's i'm saving it what it feels like an ultimatum right every time you go through yeah so just like do or die do or die and then but at the end though when you ████ get the fries and everything it's just like it kind of just you just feel good about this joe you're you get your order or no you don't get all of your order they ████ up and didn't get you two of your burgers that you ordered but your chick
2:32 got her full order oh and your fries are hella soggy oh and then she's already digging in and you and you realize that it's not what you wanted and you wanted a coconut gave you diet yeah and no diet coke see you dude now i know why people crawl into the ████ drive-through and beat the ████ out of the register people yeah dude the videos of them like pulling the register people out of the ████ oh my god dude so yeah um they rented a hyundai elantra got into an argument over fast food he insisted that he'd be allowed to drive and she said no then she noticed that he had a pocket knife and became frightened and that is when she exited the vehicle he ████ pulled a knife on his mom it says that she noticed the ████ knife so he was like clutching it in his pocket i mean for all i know she just looks down and sees a ████ knife in his pocket and she goes ah and then she's like my old son's admirer and then she
3:23 left she left got out of the car and he jumped in he says ████ you crazy yep he he jumped in he i think he slid in like grand theft auto style just slid to the next seat yeah proceeded to drive away he left his mom there he left his mom it's like those westerns where they they like show their revolver yeah oh what the the problem that's the best ████ devil strong armed his mom dude but why why did you do this it was she must have been a ████ it was a hyundai it's a hyundai elantra when you get in the hyundai you rent that thing that's the new commercial wild ████ you rented a hyundai [Laughter] it drives smooth though people don't give credit for that like it drives so smooth he won but he wanted to feel it it is pretty smooth to be honest yeah it's a good car the boy
4:14 was arrested and taken into custody they recovered the vehicle two hours later it was covered in urine he had peed in all over the car just a territorially market knocking did they have to do a police lineup yeah damn that's that ████ which which pecker was it the hyundai piss no they found it two two hours two hours later they find it they signed a delinquency complaint charging the boy with carjacking how old was he uh that's a good question it doesn't say oldies like four that's ridiculous dude yeah so he will be arraigned and uh yeah she's pressing charges she's passing charges at one point do you have to say you failed as a parent when you have to ████ call the law on your parent i mean on your side yeah i'd say that's about the point right now yeah but yeah that's ████ at what stage you're like it's not my fault
5:05 it's his fault well didn't you have trouble with your mom and then she's like i'll call the cops oh that was bart you guys ever pull a weapon on your parents yeah like what i pulled a knife on my dad yeah knife guys i was like you're not gonna ████ ████ me up anymore he basically kicked it out of my hand and ████ kicked my stomach might be really legit wow he's the secret to ████ what type of knife was it a kitchen knife i just ████ swung it like a ████ ████ you know you know when you're a kid you're not like really prepared to stab anybody but you're still scared yeah i know that's so when the ████ fists are flying you're just like ah ████ ████ you're not gonna ████ beat me no more you're just feather dusting are you kicking on my head oh ████ and it kicked him in the stomach that's what happened i went
5:55 through the side the shoulder i went ah like that right oh and then he went boom ah son of a ████ and i ████ fell on the ground did your dad do karate i don't think so i think he was just a man i don't think so i'm not fine i don't know if you need karate to kick a knife no i think you might need some karate dude maybe he just needs a boot [Laughter] cat william strongly disagrees wait what happened to cat williams he got jumped by like a seventh grader yeah oh that's right right yeah he's like choked him out wait cat williams got jumped to seventh grader oh he got in a fight with the seventh grader i don't know why he was like at this park yeah they were basically the same size and he's like ow the kid was talking ████ to cat williams cat williams got mad they started to fight and then the kid was like beating cat williams out they had to let him go
6:47 that's that's something you would hope like you know what the five people who were there saw i never have to relive this ever again did he ever incorporate that into his comedy i think he did like a small like snippet oh my god dude you have to you would have to that seventh grader was like yo if i ever see cat williams it's on site and all the kids were like no ████ way dude i'm like hey cat williams is here and he's like god damn i gotta kill you ████ i always said i would there's a bike wait where it starts so small they are seventh graders though where is he yeah where is he i don't even see him where i don't this is a bad video man oh it gets up where they're at a wall or something oh here they see to be fair though i think there's some
7:38 seventh graders out there that kick all their ass is it cat williams like five feet yeah he's pretty think he's about my size yeah because i mean like if it's a samoan seventh grader we're done man no martial art could help you someone samoa you can't really see him fighting do this is this so that's cat williams are you ████ dude he looks like a seventh grader why are they both at the same time greater next to them mm-hmm they're talking it's like versus the other guy why why is cat williams hang around a bunch of seventh graders in the first place right i think he's maybe with his kids oh he just wanted to catch a minor league ball game so he's just trying to support his own kid and then he gets beat up by one of the other kids i think i like to go to little league imagine your kid's bully beats you up too why's he sitting at the wall now
8:29 dude did he already get beat up is that why or is he about to get beat up why is he sitting down i'm sure it's about to happen because i remember that it starts at this wall yeah ryan did call the wall no don't sit down he's just going to kick you in the face dude you know all the vulnerabilities i know you look don't make it easy all the phones in his face all the seventh graders are surrounding him you know why does it look like he's a child getting bullied that guy's taking a ████ selfie dang dude oh oh oh no oh here it goes watch out dude like how the kids like the same way if if cat is taking a selfie if cat williams defends himself does he go to jail yeah you can't do ████ for sure right yeah beating up a seventh grade yeah oh he's on video who attacked yeah wait cat willy was the first one to attack yeah
9:20 he like slapped him oh no oh no oh he's getting ████ up dude oh no this kid could wrestle yo he's getting ████ oh hey this kid hey this kid knows something bro yo he's trying to get him in a new rear naked bro he took his back so quick dude that's actually crazy yeah this kid does jiu jitsu look at it who's the other guy you gotta hook in come on is that another adult cat's bodyguard now he does something huh that one needs a body guard right where's the bodyguard dude he's getting a hot dog he's on the floor still this will look like he got owned this kid's a black belt bro what is that baseball gloves batting gloves there's a little league dude yeah i think it's a little league thing damn catwoman got ████ up by a seventh grader the wonder the mom called the cops you know why she's like i saw what they did in a
10:10 cavalier she's like that's not gonna be me i mean if you had beef with cat williams you're a rapper i mean that's literally it's over dude it's over why is that the funniest thing i've ever seen i've ever seen how come rappers aren't just ████ drilling this guy because kat williams fights with his words yeah so that's fine you gotta like physically beat him not like verbal he was a seventh grader like when you think seventh grader you're thinking like oh if a seventh grader beat up a grown man you're like oh that must have been like lebron james son you're something like something he's a normal seventh grader but that looked like the most seventh grader looking seventh grader i've ever seen he has a dance for backpacking down to that that's not the most adult looking adult you've ever seen you know that's very true but at the same time i feel like he's in a lose-lose
11:02 situation anyway yeah yeah but you can't let a seventh grader beat you up you cannot you can't let that happen that's like being on are you smarter than the fifth grader to lose it but those questions were hard it's his presence too because sometimes you run into some like old 80 year old little old grandpas and they're ████ scary dude yeah but that's different they're grandpas this is a seventh grader [Laughter] during the seventh grade that great daddy did win a fight in seventh grade how old are you in seventh grade you're 13 years old yeah yeah 12 yeah 12 years old dude catwoman's got his ass with my 12 year old kid you can't even go see a pg-13 movie by himself he's gotta bring a parrot to go see ████ jumanji dude like you can't even go see cat williams should have to bring a parent to go see your body bro i think that's what we learned that's his
11:52 punch yeah that's his part kel williams kid should bring the 12 12 year old to go watch them cat williams has to get a permission slip to go do a show now cat william's gonna get ████ up by haas bulla dude that's the next fight that would be a great fight hospital is my guy dude has some techniques i like his other the abdul the singer guy the other the other kid abdul is number one i follow the other guys every time i see us think of you we gotta promote the fight how's bula versus cat williams we gotta get catwoman's on that show on this show we have to get him and we'll ask him how it was to get beat up what do you think the odds would be on cal williams and husband oh yeah i think i think high school is a i think i think it's even money does minus one fan can't williams have weapons we should arm we should let him have at least a knife a microphone a microphone and he has a bomb-ass perm
12:44 oh yeah yeah he feels good about himself yeah and a joint you look good you feel good it just sucks to be choked out too i think like if he just like stalked him that's fine but like the fact you see his face going like the fact that you see cat william's face being choked up by a 12 year old kid i think that's what makes it so much worse did cat williams hit him first yeah i think he was trying to like suffer around like uh like the way you would a kid like back of the head get out of here with the way you would have kids yeah you get locked around a little yeah usually it's the back of your head not like your face in front of me yeah but for cat he's already doing it like this oh yeah it's already an uppercut technically alright cat williams [Music]
13:47 you
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