0:00 [Music] welcome back two careful boys where we are very very careful boys sponsored by joombi but the record is no more bro yeah that was crazy what specific thing caused it to be careful we don't want to get canceled again yeah you see really seriously it's a new era of jk news and i think that we have to change with the times you know what i mean like everyone's careful these days yeah who ask us any edgy question this is a safe place anything this is a safe ask him any edgy question he's good he's good try bart that's right
0:51 every edgy question i'll work my way up to you work your way down to me it's a new time it's a new era any careful questions for the boys uh careful questions i feel like i'm gonna get canceled for asking kids way to be careful okay this guy gets it yeah it's his mother be careful not ask after all this is a heavily sponsored show so we have to watch out for our sponsors too because we don't want them to be canceled because of us yeah that's very true careful boys we need to get sponsored by band-aids or something to be extra careful baby proof outlets or something would be good hey forks that retract when you try to put them in a outlet i just try to stick it into a steak and doesn't even stick you can't use it but at least you can't use it yeah it's true non-choking hazards there's no utility
1:42 to this fork yeah that's fine let's try to get broccoli we should have a locking mechanism for it but i guess yeah dude that's a great brand i did always want to uh come up with the because i'm a fan of sporks i know not everybody likes wack i just feel like i just feel like they weren't done right because i feel like sports is not enough fork and not enough spoon but if you made a spoon that had a retractable wolverine style fork that if you just push the button the fork would come out then i'd be like i think that's really practical not make it disposable ████ oh or a big washable white guy oh ████ why would i need to wash it if it's disposable ████ be careful [Laughter] have you ever had that camping tool where it's a spoon on one side and a fork on the other yeah but nobody wants a flashlight for eating fleshlight what
2:33 are you talking about oh a flashlight on one side a fork on the other yeah remember when bart talked about eating a fleshlight guys that's what i'm saying what what did you say about that no no i didn't what you ate a fleshlight careful boy i looked i got so horny i wanted to eat it that's and that's your free that's your wardrobe yeah hey has that ever happened do you think someone's ever actually ate out of him yes you would also think that if guys are willing to sniff panties because it might be remnants of like a female's vegeta but that's what you also sniff would you also sniff her dildo oh i
3:23 thought you mean like eating it out after you jizz in it i'm like those are two different things yeah those are i'm going onto the guy's candy thing i would never eat up the fleshlight after i ████ in it but before before but you're pregnant are you hating on it because this is we got to be careful about that yeah and i respect you [Laughter] hey man that's pretty cool you come a long you're very sex-positive dude bart has been super sex positive i feel like bart is at the forefront of sex positivity in this group if you're saying it it's true he's ████ out there petitioning for fleshlight voters right voter rights very specific what the hell is that hey way to have his back on that one yeah what the ████ hey you're approved bro you're a pretty dog you're a king chamber yo don't be a king shame don't do you think
4:13 there's discrimination between the different fleshlight accessories like the mouth doesn't like the anus and the ████ is like they're like the priority number one and there's like different rankings users don't like each other no like the fleshlights when they battle each other out you know like when they're alone like toy story story like the museum yeah it's like sex toy story i get it now that i mean like sex toy story and then the ████ is great who's woody who's woody what how could you even think it's not woody forget about all flesh lines let's let's incorporate all sex toys so dildo then so like you know the dog remember the dog that was like the slinky yeah you'd be anal beads you know he'd be animals he'll be kinky he just stays a dog
5:05 because i'm open i'm not being an ████ yeah oh yeah if you want to be inclusive you don't change any of the characters mr blowtato head buzz lightyear would be the he'd be the dark knight because that's like the new hot sex toy on the block he doesn't know what the dark knight is oh dude you know the dark knight look at his face the dark knight is a sex toy the most amazing thing ever planet earth ryan dude what's going on bro hey don't even show them we should just get them one together everybody just chip in dude we should try to get sponsored by the dark knight you guys never heard of the dark knight bro we're giving them so much free presses the problem is it's okay if you want real sponsorship uh it's the dark knight it's a product by sohimi s-o-h-i-m-i check it out they have a bunch of amazing products on there this is not because we're talking about fleshlights but i think this is the next level thing is it just a big dark dildo it doesn't work for you it's true you're ready
5:55 it's about to be out of a job oh it's for boys it's like it's like imagine imagine it's for boys for men all right imagine this right i want you to imagine a sea slug inside of a pringles canister ████ the ████ out of your dick but the sea slug yeah it just loves the sea slug opens up sucks your dick and rotates and turbines on you like an alligator trying to drag you in we have googled this so much the past 48 hours that it came up in auto complete when i started typing the dark knight the dark knight male masturbator auto completed for me so it's like christian bale this is version 3.0 why is it called the dark knight but it makes you empty your entire nut sack in one balloon it feels like batman is beating your dick first of all cushion bale too yeah the christian belt it's like a batman toy
6:45 it's like it comes out of a batmobile oh it's hit so you can hide it i'm going to show you this it's actually on his utility belt i'm going to show you this but you have to have a level of maturity we're not trying to king shame here no king shamers no king chambers oh now i have to be the mature one after you guys describe this oh you got to show it while it's working first that's a wild explanation though the cool thing is there's a suction cup this looks like a freaking shock for an integra it looks like a telescope i like how it you know it just feels like fast and furious oh my gosh that is crazy wow oh it's too aggressive
7:36 look at swamp wow it's gone now it ate it wow this is wild can you handle that your description was on point i told you it's like a sea slug can i handle it what's happening now wow the textile ones are cool but it floats too oh that's how you wash this oh that's that's what you do what if in the future guys thought being turned on by girls and slow-mo ████ like this makes them horny i can see right now yeah so there you go is it moving it's moving oh it's on a rotator thing you guys have tried using it we don't even we just found out like a couple days ago we'll see you the next shoot my my tracking number says it's coming in two days with this article we started talking about uh we started talking about this whole movie the brown bunny that was bringing up right about this one shake and so so i'm like sitting over there as
8:27 a host and i'm trying to look up this clip yeah and then obviously you can't find the clip of it unless you go to like xvideos.com or anything so i'm literally on google i'm looking on the second page of search options it says x video so like click that one to find the clip we click it and the clip is nothing it blows our mind it's the ad next to it and which is the dark knight it's this it's this thing but did it not get anything i found it dude that's good jesus christ dude it's the dark knight that's chloe's significantly by the way the fact that it's wall mounted is pretty crazy because it probably doesn't need to be wall mounted i'm just mad that it took this long for something like that to come out it might have just taken this long for that to be mainstream because it could have been like a whole underground i couldn't find a manufacturer like anybody want to make this for me can you mass produce this they go to shark tank check it out i want to see the guy who invented this
9:17 and i want to buy the company dude and then i want to take it to shark tank you guys ready to pitch it it's time cuba's gonna love it dude but we wanna we gotta go in there and be like we don't want mr wonderful that's chloe you guys tired of this we're playing the clip for yourself i'm not doing anything dude i was just trying to show you this cool sex toy why are you making it weird see this is why we can't have everyone else yeah sorry today's video is brought to you by upstart if looking at your credit card statement just makes you want to scream into the boy like i'm going out of control you're not alone that's why upstart is here to help you see the light at the end of the tunnel how nice of them upstart is the fast and easy way to pay off your debt with a personal loan all
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10:57 amounts will be determined by your credit your income and other certain information that you put on your application make sure you go check out upstart.com off the record thank you we gotta we gotta go back to doing that thing where uh hey we should one whole episode we don't talk about dicks oh yeah we need a dick how do we get to dicks again it's off i mean it's careful boys this is a problem that's what bothers me though right so we're just trying to talk about this this really super sex positive ████ scene that we were watching yesterday and then he's laughing at it right now he's actually laughing at this actress's performance i'm just glad because nobody could see it but him that's a jerk bro steve just playing it to watch her by himself i'm not doing anything dude i'm literally just showing you this ad you know you know that's very offensive it's so offensive that like
11:48 you're just giggling out there and laughing at a beautiful human experience so she works hard to prep for a role he's talking about the dude in the ad he's talking about the dude oh okay i wonder if the people who like make dark knight in the ████ lab are giggling while they put it together they have to be dude yeah or they just get fired maybe they're really passionate about their project you know they needed to call it something else like the dick grappler or something oh yeah that's so much better dude the dick wrapper yeah cause it's like i don't know it's doing some sort of grappling on your feet the dark knight is also red like why is it right that's true why is it called the dark knight maybe it's because it's like you know not the hero you like want but it's the hero you need there it is dude wow anthony lee pulled it from half bro we really didn't get it that was very good you know what's
12:39 scary about that is the intensity of that when you're nutting because i i'm gonna rush to turn that ████ off yeah as soon as you bust you're like that's why it's it's mounted on wall so you can pull out oh but doesn't it pull you back in it might work that thing might pull you back in bro i'm not ████ twisting you're just like rotating around you turn into a spinner bruh the arm looks like this like it's ████ pulling your ass back into it you don't ████ the dark knight it ████ you it sure looks like it too there's some rpms there's gonna be a lot of lawsuits against uh the payouts are going to be sick them from ████ dc about dude do you feel like flashlights looking at this this competition for dicks around the world then it's like we need to add the rotation to our fleshlight material
13:31 for sure they have to they have to do this this one's called the acme joy right here act me joy i want to see sex toy companies like battle it out oh like what if they have like press events like that like apple when they do the unveiling of the new iphone they have like a steve jobs equivalent like talking about the new technology for the dark knight that would be pretty cool i'll be right back steve ████ steve ████ this is what you do every time your screens turn towards you and they can't see it that's hilarious he's just putting on gangbang board and everything i that's absolutely not true there's an excel spreadsheet here where i i mark what videos we did and when and what's a hot topic right you got to be a little more mature you got to be a little mature if you're going to sit in the hot seat bro like you're not really
14:22 acting you're right i'm not being careful he's trying to work i hate orgasmic pleasure just put the laptop running from let's talk about some serious stuff i'm trying to do a professional job here and i don't appreciate that it's one of the most important things your mom ever taught you oh that's so weird to hear that yeah what are some of those lessons that watch the show and they look up to us right now there's someone at the hospital they're dealing with a terminal illness and this is their only way of joy yeah and we're the only reason why they're going to recover okay so you need to take this serious right you don't come to the show and giggle at the gang bangs especially the dark knight you just need to be more professional right now overall dude and they're looking at you for for support they're looking at you for
15:12 inspiration yeah they come to the show for the real ████ okay and that's the most important job of the guest too to be the relative element for you know the people watching at home so bring it back to his sister kind of being a dick right now you're going to be an ████ right now ryan can i just take a picture of you i just want you to see this later do you want me to keep my mouth open actually just ████ look at it right now holy ████ this is what you look like to me right now while you're asking me about my sister there's a full hog gang bang all right happening right in there and you can see joe's skin right here too you see my ████ ████ you should record joe's terminal illness uh speech again just with that on the background what the ████ is going
16:03 on i don't get it listen there's so many orifices on this ████ screen dude if you had them in a biker bar did you type that part it just came it was the next video autoplay oh so ████ here's the thing if you have the misfortune of not being on the patreon the patreon is where you get to see what's going on it's cool stuff yeah it's into a jk ad just having the channels back someone's got to stick up for the channel while this guy's trying to tear it all down don't keep me in the photos ryan get me out of here yeah put him in the photos he needs it he needs it that that is true because on youtube we're careful boys but on patreon we're wow boys this is as careful as it's gonna get it's pretty careful the thing is you got the porn facing you not to them yeah front-facing porn only
16:53 uncareful well we don't know if there's porn back there only we're only taking ryan's words it's a legend you kind of photoshopped something really quick it's 50 50. you're just the dude who said there are so many orifices no i just meant like in general like like nothing like sexual yeah yeah yeah i think working in porn destroys the magic of porn like in the like in movies like we love movies he destroys the flavor of chicken yeah you don't want to eat there didn't our friend cat say that um her guy kind of got yeah he's a specialist yeah yeah that's true and he was important he's not horny no more well he didn't get that horny after he's not a horny boy no though yeah yeah but what are you gonna do oh that's weird sometimes you get jaded you know i guess yeah the the the facade is gone well she also said too because she takes like like pictures of her feet and stuff yeah and like she's doing like sex work during the day or whatever you call
17:44 it like when you're taking pictures of your feet and taking like sexy photos of yourself and then she is less in the middle yeah secondly not sex work but yeah sure well you know what i mean like like or titillation work okay yeah yeah let's see and she's not in the mood as much because surely like exactly that's what she's talking about she already has been doing titillation ████ all day because our uh like food blogging friends said the same thing about food like the relationship of food started feeling like oh i'm not that i don't want to do no more ████ gotta do it every day and i'm oh it's like this show when i do this show and i go home i don't ████ want to talk to my girl i don't talk shame i don't want to see any more asians yeah yeah i have a no asian thing i don't want to watch any game being poor when i go home out here too much porn at jk news i don't want to go to a biker bar after this no
18:35 my usual spot so that means don't pursue your passion pursue what you already hate because if you join what you hate you already hate it anyway that's really good and then you keep all the things you love for a lifetime or if you're an addictive person then heavy going to the thing you're addicted just to even get over it hey dude my dad never wanted to go to his job he ████ needed a job so that's a good point and he did great and did for a long time way too long nearly killed him damn sorry it's hard to focus because the tricks getting game day while he's talking about yeah my dad
19:25 jumped and nearly killed them that's just good mad libs bro you're good at you're gonna improv though yeah yeah you're just good at that have you seen this guy jk means this guy this guy is a master of with his own jk party tomorrow you know she's here we should play a ████ random portal clip and he's gotta score it oh that's good score no score no score no dude oh sorry it's a music porno well that one's not as bad wait till we get to the climax you know what i'm saying i think i found a new jk party challenge uh tell a speech about your favorite moments with your mom while watching oh that's good that's actually watching before that's and then everybody else has to just hold your eyeballs open like this the whole time so you're just like focus on it memories okay can we actually just do it
20:15 because i swear to god if i show up at party and we just play the same two games i'm gonna be ████ pissed all right we played mad gabs again i swear to god my ████ brain you know what matt gabs is good at good for nothing it doesn't help you with ████ mad gap matt gabs is ████ what is the porn mom speech focus concentration yeah okay this these are all things you need in your life need that put the blinders on okay he's hot holding a giant dildo sharpie it's magnum okay it says magnum on here that's actually really good that's crazy we're gonna evolve jk party dude you just wait guys that's pretty good [Music] [Applause] [Music]
21:10 you
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