0:00 but then she goes yeah when you were a kid you were like every day you would come up with toys and you would ask me to like play and I'd be too busy and she's like I felt like that that did something like negative too and I was like I must have like fixed it found a way to play by yourself or something and now Ryan pranks everyone the whole time now I'm a schizophrenic [Music] welcome back to another great episode of careful boys today we have Nick and Colleen over here we got Joe and Anthony hey and then we have it even better Joe right here uh question of the day right here is gonna be a hard one or just a really major one what is a mistake that your parents made that has positively shaped who you are today oh interesting
0:50 and are you even aware of it right yeah you might not be until this is I was the mistake yeah yeah that's the obvious answer I had this uh talk with my buddy because um we were talking about how things that people feel sorry for us about are actually the the obstacles we needed to become successful so for his story is his dad had a gambling problem and they owned a couple of donut shops one day he woke up seeing repo people and the cops at their house just taking ████ like TV all that and he's like what the ████ so uh The Donut Shop was under his mom's name so the the livelihood wasn't taken away thank God right so him and his brother and his mom was just they worked really
1:40 hard to like keep the family business going so they can eat but that pushed them to becoming the entrepreneur that he is today making like 30 mil a year wow 30 million yeah he's this guy's Cambodian yeah Cambodian Chinese but those were the kind of like the it was like the building blocks for him going oh ████ like building a business being financially responsible taking care of your family all these things are so important he did it as a kid so from that jump start which he could have blamed his parents and been like you stupid dad with a gambling problem and all that but his relationship with his dad got healed after that he took care of them and and then also I think like he was talking about how like a lot of his money goes to charity because it wasn't he didn't get into business for the reasons of
2:31 personal gain it was to save his family so then like all of his business decisions have been charitable he didn't know it yet and then when he got into charity and he was helping Cambodia build he was like oh ████ this is what I what my passion was he's been doing his taxes all wrong the whole time but I'm like that's true because like a lot of people can grow up blaming you gave me this trauma you did this to me but then I'm like out of like out of that trauma though what did it jump start um yeah and for me it was independence from my parents thoughts and them infecting me with stupid thoughts what like what kind uh so like I see a lot of my friends and their lifelong fight with their father right
3:22 of like trying to get approval or like acceptance or certain things and then for me I wasn't influenced by his thoughts and his stupid guidance so like they might have stupid ideas and then you might believe that into your teen years and then on and then you you might be kind of it might be like 30 when you realize oh my dad was wrong and he was telling me stupid ████ but I was following him because he was my role model but from 14 on I was able to develop and test and and figure out my own thoughts which freed me from the influence bad influence which was him yeah Anthony you got anything I mean I think it's similar the only difference is I don't make 30 million dollars a year but I think seeing uh you know there's just that feeling it's hard to say it's
4:12 a mistake at all you know because my parents work really really hard just like you know run into dry cleaners and stuff like that but it's just like super humble hard-working business stuff um versus like something overly successful but then just being a kid who had like uh you know a very economy class lifestyle you grow up with like other other rich kids around you right whether it be like in my own extended family or like just like friends from school and then you're just always when you're young and naive and ignorant you're just envious and you're just always like man I wish I had this or like I resent my parents you know what I'm saying for like not being able to like kick ass in life and do better for me when you just don't understand the complexities of life and just how the cookie crumbles sometimes but then you grow up with maybe a certain different type of fire and I just feel like I was given that fire you know by the the things I found as my shortcomings from
5:02 my parents you know because I was like I hated working at my parents dry cleaners I was like I don't want to ████ clean other people close it was just such a disgusting feeling somebody bringing their laundry and I'd be like look at it with such disdain even marks yeah now now I'm like that's you know an honest job is an honest job right yeah right right but it's like in your mind all you think of every day when you're pissed off being someone and you hate something about your life you just build this ████ fire that doesn't you know and and then I think things like that specifically made me want to just do the ████ that I wanted to do and not do stuff that I didn't want and I think that I'm very thankful for that but it's hard to say that I would look at that now as like a mistake now that I've just like gotten more mature and like like oh ████ you guys also had to flee your country during war time and like went through something and sacrificed everything and started over like I might
5:53 not have done better as a person back then you know so it's kind of like you appreciate but I'm thankful for that fire I'm thankful that I was able to turn that resentment into something that makes more sense and appreciation um because I am the only person in my entire extended family I feel like that's doing something what like where I followed my curiosity and passion versus just like structure and security but that's also because my family was the poorest out of my entire extended family that like made it to America that's how I see it you know um the Barbara from Shark Tank yeah she was talking about how she doesn't invest in rich kids like they might have the greatest ideas with the best connections and she goes there's there's a difference between poor kids with a startup or people with a background of like something they need to prove because they they've been broke or whatever she
6:44 says like there there's some there's a difference because one is like you need to make it the other one is like oh this one fails I can do it again I have the resources the safety net compared to like the hunger yeah so she says like there's a clear difference and she doesn't she can't teach that or show that so I was like oh and in recently it's true yeah um this person talking about personality traits that make someone successful and one of them was a chip on their shoulder because of their background and they need to prove something or they're angry at something and they just don't want to be like whatever right because it does have a more competitive Spirit that's true yeah it does do that so that kind of backs up what you said about having some type of uh I wouldn't say trauma is the word
7:36 maybe it is but then you you grow up thinking how come the rich kids have it better but do they yeah because then they don't have that fire it does take you a long time to realize that it's not objectively different set of problems because at this point when I see people that don't have the fire and they're looking they fall into drugs they fall into a depression because like they don't have that thing that pushes them yeah and I'm like oh I agree with that so maybe what I needed was a little bit of stress in my history to get there I had that chip really hard and uh it was because of a mistake that I felt like my parents made why this was 1998. and uh I was 15. I used to prep my I used to practice piano outside of the
8:26 house because uh my my parents didn't always like me doing it you know uh by the time I got to my teens so you rolled out your piano to your backyard no I go to public pianos I go to hotels and then I went to uh The Bonaventure Hotel in downtown hotels to play piano yeah or school and then there was The Bonaventure Hotel at the time had a piano in the lobby and then I would go play there and then I would just like uh get tips and just people would like request songs I was just doing and then on this day so you were good enough already when you get there I thought you were doing like Jingle Bells no there's not one here you can't come back here they're uh so I would play there and then on this particular day there was this staff from uh from the um the jazz radio station from back then and then the dude came up to me and he was like dude you're a kid and you're
9:17 playing like this like we gotta have you on on the radio and then they we were talking for like a few hours and we got arranged for me to come on and they were gonna do what I did there like live on the radio of like oh we're just gonna tell you a bunch of like uh songs and then you're gonna chain them together just like you did here today they were just like who the ████ does this and then uh it wasn't as common back then I think to be like a a piano bar pianist but like a kid so then because you can't even drink there yeah because I can't do anything and they were and they were just like amazed that I when I told them oh I come here just to practice because you know yeah that's crazy I couldn't practice at home because my parents would be like stop doing that and study instead so then like uh they called my house and then my mom picked up and said no we're not interested oh he's gonna be a doctor ████ you yeah and they and they just it just like snipped it right there
10:07 yeah and then on I had such a chip from that happening that when I got into dance I was like I don't give a ████ what you guys think I'm doing this and then that's when I was like defiant about it so like that was the chip for like wanting to be a dancer regardless of like you know what the plan was for me if it wasn't for them like cutting that dream short then I don't think I would have been as like on fire about it you know I probably would have been afraid to make make them unhappy but it was because of that that I'm like I'm not gonna miss another shot like that so you gave up your Jazz dreams to become a dancer yeah both things are gay I see what you're saying I feel like you're the one who made the mistake I feel incredibly lucky because my parents they just said whatever it is that you choose to do just make sure you do it with 110 conviction and just
10:59 invest yourself into it and we'll support you mer but it's like not like necessarily we'll support you as far as like money goes like they certainly could to a degree but only so far right we weren't super wealthy um but it was more so like we'll support you emotionally mentally and obviously we have your back and you know we want you to succeed in the things that you want to do yeah but I can't think of like a mistake like a at least one that I know of what about you I don't know about a mistake I think it's more of just like like for when I was growing up my parents my parents went and my sisters would always like they'd always be talking ████ in the house they're ████ always just yapping about somebody else talking about how this person does this and
11:49 whatever um so I don't think it's more of like a specific amount like a specific behavior that caused me to change everything it was more of an observation of how they behaved right so for instance like for my dad there was always a sentiment of oh well your dad doesn't do what he likes in his life like he had to pick this job like for for him being a sound editor he didn't really like it he was always he didn't like doing that no I guess not we're at a certain point in time he got sick of it and then started to want to do something else and because you want to do a bunch of different jobs that would put us sometimes in financial hardship right according to my family right so Me growing up I would always go like well ████ I have to make sure whatever I do with my life it has to be something I'm interested in something I
12:39 have a genuine love and passion for and then that'll be my path to sustainability over a period of time right so that's how I kind of thought about how I was gonna go through so you kind of learned off of his because that's in your programming exactly right so but it but it I don't even know if my dad really didn't like those jobs or not this is just right what that's their opinion yeah exactly exactly right so then I would go through my life making sure that everything I did money-wise would always relate back to my interests and things that I wanted to do so yeah and I think that was really helpful for me because but there was definitely times where I was like ████ this doesn't make any money I'm gonna make money I'm doing this and there was but it taught me how to push through and to make it work really you know find a way to make it work and like why not take no for an answer but
13:29 um I think whatever you you're trying to do there's a there's a pocket that you could find to make money or to have your your Venn diagram of your interests and monetary gain to to make it fit you know but I guess that's mine so his dad was a sound engineer for like the most major movies through the 90s and like Indiana Jones Lethal Weapon like crazy ████ to think that he didn't like it is pretty right and I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure he did he liked it up to certain like he must have hated when Keanu had to come to your house and do Foley but I think as as a person right you just get sick of once you do something for a long enough time sure and there's something I didn't realize either until I started working in my field and I'm like yeah I kind of want to do some other ████ and I would have like guilt about that but in reality it's like no you just have to whatever you pick next like you said you have to put all the 100 10 or whatever
14:20 but that's an interesting programming because you're you're listening to other people's opinion on what your dad must be thinking yeah so then it's like seeing Yelp reviews instantly for someone else's performance so then how do you not agree eventually like oh yeah I guess it's true yeah and then that's about your household yeah that's another thing too is I realize that like oh yeah what people say all the time definitely isn't necessarily the truth right like it's it's so or it shouldn't always influence you that strongly exactly exactly exactly but that yeah there's tons of things like that but that was one of the bigger ones for me like I remember I was thinking I was like I can't let I can't do something I hate and that's why and I remember when I first started when I went to college and I was like I'm a business major and I took a couple of business classes I was like ████ this I cannot do this but then it's kind of Full Circle and I realized for me to be able to excel in my business I have to learn yeah yeah
15:11 and then I now I actually have a Fascination where I'm like oh cool like I'm learning more about it and I kind of like it so it's you know that's the part that's the key though it's the fascination gets killed When someone tells you what the end result already is exactly if they're like oh no that's bad this is good that's bad this is good then it's like you can't just be in wonderment anymore yeah you're like oh why bother with this it's bad apparently yeah yeah yeah and as of that at that age or well because I'm the youngest and I think I would always try to all my decisions I would try to make would be like just don't make anybody mad you know just make sure you're doing the right thing you know right don't Garner disapproval yeah yeah in reality it's like you end up kind of sometimes live moving someone else's and you're not exploring anymore yeah and you're just worried about ████ up rather than a real mistake yeah you're worried about ████ up and like what Joe said you got to make those mistakes you got to kind of put yourself in those spots
16:01 where you're like oh then you can learn from it it becomes a learning experience and all that other ████ you know that's right what about what about you cool Joe Cool Joe anything anything even close to like what maybe your your parents might have thought was a wrong decision that you turned into like a good outcome for yourself I don't necessarily see any like wrong decisions um I can't say growing up you know I did live with my mom and she kind of was a little bit more lenient on me uh so I stood with my mom until I was like five and then uh I was kind of going down a bad path I was at five years old what did you do drug deal it was like the Dave Chappelle's drug Baby the movie baby kids yes you were stupid kid I was just I was
16:52 always getting into trouble I was like stealing stuff getting into fights um but uh yeah so my dad saw me going around like that path and stuff like that so then he kind of stepped in took care of me and then you know kind of brought me into the person I am today uh I don't really take anything away from my mom you know she's going through a hard time that time you know she got herself clean and you know yeah got back together uh I got herself back together um but I don't really see it as a mistake um but I do see it as like uh you know a defining point to where it's like okay hey like you know if I have kids what
17:44 kind of situation I'd want them to be in and then now I feel like I'm at a point towards like I try and hang around my mom and dad more just to understand them more and I feel like that's how I found out more about myself because I see a lot of the things my mom does I'll see a lot of things my dad does and I'm like oh so that's where I get that from that comes from that comes from my dad I like this about what my dad does I don't like this about what my dad does yeah I just pick uh pick and choose what I like that goes on between both of them and I just try to be the best person I can honestly yeah it reminds me of like you know the intro of uh boys in the hood when Furious Styles picks up the kid shouldn't be a man yeah [Laughter] and then the household shift and he's
18:34 like there's rules in this house yeah exactly can't just be running around doing what you want to do but he's five he's a cute little five here too that's how the dads are you know when they're little badass kids yeah I think there's like um your question sounds like did you have resentment and then later real life like church switches to a positive yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um and it doesn't seem like anyone here holds on to that or like because we all been through certain things but it's it's easy to forget it because like when you yeah when you ask the question I was like there probably was a lot right yeah and then later there's forgiveness and understanding and you're just like yeah and everything can be a positive but then like when you're at this point where you know those obstacles push you
19:24 to the corner in making big life decisions but it it shouldn't happen like nobody should have that kind of ████ up ████ but like it happens and then it just it kind of becomes a part of who you are so it's like yeah yeah is it always you're grateful for those things yeah I don't think they're wrong but the the crazy Revelation is like when when like you sit and talk to your parents about eras where you never discussed it and they tell you like my mom has has told me recently like she was like I regret not playing with you when you were a kid and I was like what and you don't even remember that but see that's the crazy the things that they regret but then she goes yeah when you were a kid you were like every day you would come up with toys and you would ask me to like play and I'd be too busy and she's like I felt like that that did something like negative to you and I was
20:14 like I must have like fixed it or something yeah because she sees that as a mistake and I don't you find out a way to play it by yourself or something yeah and now Ryan pranks everyone all the time foreign [Laughter] foreign
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