0:00 happy holidays and a good merry new year and we've been working on the ideal ugly Christmas sweater and as you can see we're still prototyping yeah mine's a little too small and his is a little too big right now what you can't do is pre-order November 4th to November 8th is our pre-order window and as we make these we will post more progress picks cuz it will be high quality heavy knit it won't look ghetto as as this nope but we're trying our best okay get it right now secure your place before we like sorry we don't have any more sweaters for you our ordered the hand toss and it didn't it didn't come out good I just clicked number one Bart all over you saying that it's oh Pizza Hut pizza it's way better but it's not a pan pizza he ordered he ordered the regular original
0:50 one Steve knows exactly what he's talking about everybody on JK news Bart suffers from autism [Music] all right um before we get into this very important news article B do you want to talk about this pizza real quick yeah this is an anti- brand deal don't ever get Dominoes unless you want to sponsor us and who specifically told you that this was good that's what David David said Domino's is fing highkey bomb he says and I'm like dude Pizza Hut smashes on this what does he get at dominoes though you get is this a pan pizza I don't know I just got the number one it's not a pan pizza you can't compare these things you just got to go number one are you a Domino's fan no I just I am aware of what David's talking about speaking for David right now Pizza Hut what does
1:40 everyone like about it the pan pizza that's their standard pan pizza you did not get a pan pizza you cannot this is not re a review no but you go with the number one if the pan pizza like every restaurant they put their Flagship as number one right double double in and out whatever it's not a fair comparison I I chose your number one I just clict number one it's not apples to oranges it's pizza to pizza though no it's pan pizza versus regular Original Pizza it's completely different that's true cuz it's like you got to go New York with New York Detroit with Detroit texture that's the problem it's the flavor yeah it's the flavor I'm not saying that I'm not saying that Domino's is saying I don't even know about this number one restaurant put number one every restaurant does that their number one is their Flagship item I don't know about is it a is it a hand toss so what's McDonald's number one Big Mac fries and a coke right it I I think every single restaurant put the cuz they make it easy for you this is what we're known for
2:30 bada beam bada boom number one what's number one in Taco Bell I don't know andito spicy andito see yeah spicy andito with the so do you like Domino's over Pizza Hut okay look I I ride for Pizza Hut me too me too I ride for Pizza Hut but I don't think that this is a pan pizza so therefore it's not a fair comparison it's complet but it's not the texture that's wrong it's just lacking flavor hold on I'll ask David right now ask David get get an answer for call should I call them yeah yeah call them all right I'll call him is that what this article is about today then I I'm not going to call him then I'm going to call him you can double news go ahead I'm going to call him he's he's busy he's busy did you clean Jun yet did you off the floor hey David you're on JK
3:21 news what's up all right we have a question for you so Bart ordered the Domino's Pizza and Steve was saying that you were probably talking about the pan not the hand toss yes 100% I said it was the pan pizza I ████ told you Bart ordered the hand toss and it didn't it didn't come out good I just clicked number one Bart's ████ all over you saying that it's oh Pizza Hut Pizza Hut's way better but it's not a ████ pan pizza he ordered he ordered the regular original one Steve knows exactly what he's talking about everybody on JK news Bart suffers from autism he doesn't follow instructions correct and I literally said in the thing it's like when you receive it if it's not hot throw it in the oven if it's a pan pizza
4:12 it's running out of flavors bro so yeah bar got the hand tossed pizza and he was like it's not as good well then we have to order another Pizza to double check it's cuz bar has ████ autism dude and Asbergers oh my God thanks David we just needed that thanks brother later David bye dude I'm telling you and now we have to order another Pizza yeah just you know I looked at it and I was like I don't think that's what D was talking about that's why I didn't even eat one and it's not pepperoni who gets just cheese the OG does cuz Home Alone Home Alone the OG's do I used to like pepperoni until I relive my childhood I was like I've been doing it wrong and also Ninja Turtles does cheese pizza chees Home Alone only cheese yep it just feels
5:03 like just eating rice and miso soup with nothing else not even close sounds great I know but that's like a cheese pizza that's just have you had one recently it's missing something have you had one recently it's really good it's really really good it's pretty good can everybody rank their pizzas I'm not talking some ████ like really dope pie from chicag no I'm talking about like the fast food like chains yeah the ones everyone can get right now oh right now Costco I like Costco the pan from Pizza Hut Costco is good but I always got to ████ like hold it for like a minute just so the oil I feel like the Costco one is like a bagel bread pizza so it's like a big Bagel bite to me I actually don't mind sabaro either sabaro you're garbage Haven been there in a long time you're so garbage it's it's nostalgic for me you like the ████ lamp taste lamp taste the lamp dusty ass
5:54 lamp taste there's a place called lampost Pizza I remember that one calabassas let's rank our Pizza Hut number one Pizza Hut I'm also Pizza Hut number one to Pizza Hut's the best consistency and The Branding is the best I don't care what's in the middle Papa John's is right here oh I disagree I like the pepper they I like the pepper dude yeah the Peppa chees I like the Peppa you had it recently though I have not cuz I we eat pizza every Friday and we try a bunch of them ging sauce that's good delici Papa John's Pizza is down here now do you think it changed though cuz I remember when it first came out it blew my mind it it was way better as of recently not good back when it's well before the guy said the NW oh it was the ████ maybe it was the bigotry that we taste the flavor seeped in yeah dude
6:46 yeah we taste the bigotry when they're he's doing commercials with pton Manning and ████ like that it tasted so good but then like when you eat Chick-fil-A you don't taste the homophobia no no no no it's there but you don't taste it or you like the taste I I think homophobia tastes better than racism though that's true racism is like uh it hates me but homophobia is like well not really yeah you tasted those cakes from that place that refused to Big where's Prince Street that's not even on the list you said you said common fast food chain I would say it's the first that's the first drive-thru Pizza though that's as fast as it can I just had it for the first time at Anthony's Place bomb it's bomb but it's a heavy boy which one did you guys get the square ones we got the pepperoni one yeah I I haven't even gone down the ████ whole menu the squirrel yeah they are heavy is that the number one I don't know what about Little Caesars no dude I actually ████ with it I ████ with
7:37 it but it's a $5 Pizza can't be $5 I'm trash enough to respect that I can't do it anymore by the way it is literally 1 billion times better than 7-Eleven pizza oh that doesn't even taste like pizza 7-Eleven Wings though are pretty sick he likes 7-Eleven Pizza no I don't I like their hot dogs but nominating him I hate it but I'll eat it 7-Eleven chocolate chip cookies and their wings very good 7-Eleven dude don't sleep on the ████ jalapeno popper stick whatever that's made out of holy have you guys ever had La piz Loca no what is that that's like a hood ass Pizza piz Loca yeah it's pretty good ever try that Big Mama's and Papa's Pizza that massive pizza that's oh yeah that was pretty good the huge one pretty good really cuz the last time I had it which was many many years ago yeah there's a 562 chain
8:29 called Fran I don't know you guys ever seen that that's pretty bomb yeah last time I got big Mas and Papas you you pick up a slice and just watch all the cheese fall yeah exactly D I was like this sucks I'm like this is a huge pizza and I don't think they cooked it right at all are you guys too are you guys to uh do you like those Blaze Pizza places I've never been to one really never been to mod Pizza blaz never been to that or like 800 like I like that they're fast and it's like actually pretty good I've never been to one cuz ████ LeBron dude he owns one ████ LeBron he owns it what his business he owns Blaze Pizza he's he's an owner of Blaze Pizza ████ I remember like Bart was explaining this like childhood Pizza Diner he used to go to where when you pull the pizza the the cheese like ████ spreads like the one in Westminster yeah and then this is
9:20 before Yelp or anything like that but he hyped us up so much that I went on map quest and Google and I triangulated that ████ because you said it was right next to like a martial arts I go there with my Dad yeah and then we made a road trip all the way down to Orange County all the way to Orange County and it was me you I think it was Alec but Danny I think we all went and we got the pizza and it was just like B said it it had the ████ stringy stuff when and I was like damn that was a whole mission just to get the pizza from your imagination cuz it was like like the commercials like me and my dad used to go eat and literally when we pull the pizza slice it would stretch like the movies and it was the first place we ever ate where like the P it actually stretch like that I was telling Joe that and then we probably just had one like a munchy attack like oh we got to go find it then this is going to be a hot take okay I don't like Chicago deep dish
10:12 pizza oh yeah that's okay it's heavy I just feel like it's more lasagna than it is pizza I don't really like it either but you know what is similar but really good is the Detroit style Detroit style is the rectangular one and it's thick and they got the It's ████ amazing yeah there's this place called pizza rocktown after you go Detroit style it's just like oh man so I feel like a hypocrite because I always say I like traveling but I never do it because I am an idiot and I don't know how to collect miles I don't know how to properly plan my traveling and then I end up never going anywhere that's so true Ryan and that's why we're here today to talk about Capital One miles capit 1 miles are unique because you can use them to offset any travel purchase at a rate of
11:03 1 cent per point no special portals or complex booking methods are needed right now you can earn 75,000 bonus miles with capital 1's welcome offer on the Venture rewards credit card plus the card earns two times Capital 1 miles on everything so if you're already ding up your next almost as good as free trip my friends over the daily drop wrot up seven reasons why you need the Capital One Venture rewards credit card check it out using the link in the descript deson you know what it reminds me of the old school uh Pizza Hut pan when they used to have that like thicker inner and in the outside crust yeah all right BJs or CPK BJs BJs every time all day I like CPK cuz they got that bomb barbecue chicken pizza but the barbecue at ████ uh DJs is also really good you like sabaro and CPK bro you're garbage
11:55 dude I like it you know what trashy ████ uh uh pizza I like Douro Douro I like I ████ with it Ton Tony bab that's better than Little Caesars 100% oh you really think that I think so is better it's better than Little Caesar 100% Red Baron is maybe better than Douro we're talking we're talking College pizzas there's something there's something disgusting about the Douro that I like yeah yeah there is well the dough is very good for some reason hidden extra taste it's kind of gross but then you like like it mhm is Red Baron the The Bagel not the bagel the Red Baron's everything okay yeah oh is it with the like Cube pepperonis you know how like they put that on The Bagel Bites I think I think I know what you're talking about you know what's really good that you would love the the CPK pizz you can get
12:46 at the store and then they're Frozen the Frozen ones ████ that dude I don't even like ████ I don't even like regular CPK bro I know that's why this is your Heaven ████ that did you have tombstone pizza oh tubes not since I was like years old I don't remember it would you like kind the TU I just remember the first one I had ever was mama celest it was like ████ the size of a Simon game dude that ████ that sh was like 25 cent have you guys ever do you guys remember at the supermarket where they would have this like it looked like baked you know dough already with like little cheese on it and then it had like Italian flag and then they would have a whole just the bread part vacuum sealed oh yeah yeah they like bolini or some ████ I always wanted to try that bu yeah but have you guys ever done it like your family I
13:36 never did it you did it pretty good what it's like the it's basically you do it yourself yeah you got to buy your own tomato sauce or whatever and you put your own cheese on it and then you can put your own toppings but dude the Lunchables version of that was fire oh yeah lunchable Pizza Lunchables that was good I'd eat that ████ cold I used to molest the bbes when I went by I would like squeeze them real quick and be like I think this is what boobs feel like I remember I remember like tanon doing that ████ I'm like oh this probably what like boobies so we we have our unanimous ████ Pizza H what's our unanimous worst unanimous worst is there one do we have a un 7even 71 7 7 in the conversation it doesn't even taste like pizza to me that's like gas station Pizza I would exclude it from the conversation it's not real it's
14:26 not real yeah let's talk about actual a place that devotes them eles to having pizza and it's missing the mark well I think it' be between I think Little Caesars is defin I think they know that but it's not even on the same level I like Little Caesar better than that ████ over there what ████ is that really better than that Little Caesars but Bart suffers from autism I actually don't like hand toss Domino that's why I didn't take I didn't take a bite in 4 hours it'll become Little Caesars that's true that's fair true it'll never Elevate itself that way for FS itself into Little Caesars I don't know why Domino's bread gets chewy like it was microwav yeah maybe it was maybe huh maybe that's just Bobo are you guys fans of cold pizza nah no way but Nikki Nikki is so garbage she'll eat anything cold n Nikki will
15:16 eat Taco Bell cold I eat a lot of stuff cold she's garbage she's I'm telling you I like cheese when it's melty like that I'll eat panang curry cold and it's all Gloppy where it's a Jello I like I like melted cheese I I like it ah I can't do it Nikki will um get Taco Bell before she goes and plays like a tournament or whatever and then she leaves the bag in the car and then when she if she bust the tournament she goes in the car and eats cold too Bell oh God it just reminds I think there's been Taco Bell at your house every time I've come over there is always Taco Bell and is that like your guys' number one it's Nikki's number one I don't even I don't get Taco Bell he just comes in with bags full wait you don't even eat Taco Bell I don't eataco wow yeah the last time I ate Taco Bell I was eating the burrito and halfway through it felt like cold and I was just
16:08 so hungry cuz I had like a 15-hour set I was like ████ it regret every moment of that instant food poisoning oh no instant instant like within 20 minutes I've always had diarrhea after Taco Bell that's I think that's part of the deal I feel like it's Chang like I remember back in the day when it was more similar to Del Taco remember when it was like the like the the diarrhea colors yeah like yellow green and and whatever like that that background like vegetables at yoso when it turned purple like the The Branding I think a lot of the ████ changed oh like now it's like weird um I don't know it's there it's like not even the same did you guys have pizza at your schools growing up yeah yeah were they good oh like the one that
16:58 comes in the we had Pizza Hut oh I never saw that yeah the long ones that come in ████ plastic we didn't have pizza we had what looked like English muffins and they would just put pizza sauce and melted cheese on it and they would call it pizza we had the square like that but then I remember we got food carts eventually when I was in Middle School that had either Little Caesars or Pizza Hut it might have been Pizza Hut we had we had contracts with Pizza Hut that's pretty sick did branded but it was five bucks it was like holy ████ was like anytime like Key Club or Christian club or whatever was doing a fundraiser with pizza bread sticks oh yeah those are really good with the marinar sauce the bread sticks but like they would set up a table in the quad over high school and literally like everyone would Sprint once lunch bell rang and then if you ████ if they ran out you would be pissed the rest of the day that was my school but with Bagels Bagels I don't
17:48 know why but Bagels like bagels and cream cheese yeah that was my school bagel oh you know what we got the with the knowledge I know about nutrition I'm like damn I just ate straight bread for lunch yeah bread and tomato sauce I'm like what but it was dank though no protein you know the school that me and me and Timmy went to Tim deos uh no uh Gina Valley Christian we would get In-N-Out trucks sometimes spoiled I much prefer that over Bagels sometimes it'll just pull up and we're like oh it's an In-N-Out day yes that's nice for like a SCH and the school lunch was actually pretty good dude like they would have like pastrami sandwich like ghetto tacos like they would have they called them ghetto tacos just called have any ghetto tacos tomorrow dude
18:38 In-N-Out might have been cheaper than school lunch back then yeah in- out's always been cheapest yeah especially then I feel like we had In-N-Out truck one time we got super hype like all the kids got hype and then they were like oh that's for the staff that's ████ up that's ████ up dude that's ████ up why would they dangle that it was just being the staff parking lot but you would smell that ████ can't hide that so mean there's this ████ uh donut hole or no donut RV trailer thing that comes to taica school like once a quarter and I swear to ████ God these Donuts are better than crispy creams oh W it's not even a brand it's called like the Nevada donut Express or some ████ and you see the lady frying them right in front of you but it's so ████ soft it's even softer than crispy creams that's wild
19:28 yeah that's ████ Co what kind of hidden treasure is that where's bagel bites on the list of pizza frozen pizza products Bagel Bites is Bomb that's more like a Hot Pocket I think exposed exposed I think the the pleasure is in the timing pleas all right cuz like cuz it's ready when you want it most you know like when you're just a kid and you're doing ████ and you get the munchies randomly and it's so it's so reliable cuz it's there you get it yeah but if you had a choice of like whatever you want you're probably not going to pick that right but if you if you had to choose between a bagel bite and a pizza pocket Bagel bite every time and every time I eat a bagel bite like I think about playing Street Fighter 2 and it's like 199 Bagel Bites or dino nuggets Bagel Bites Bagel Bites yeah I'm going the bites I'm going bites spites man the first one always burns the ████ out of
20:18 your mouth though huh true plus yeah Pizza Pockets took a long time to cool down yeah dude it was dangerous toaster strudles oh or Bagel Bites toaster strudles I got a sweet tooth and they never come with enough icing there's a lot of variety you got to drag that ████ they look like straight up j y have you seen like I I needed at least two how they showed old school like ingredients of that package ████ versus like new school and then like the old school is like five ingredients and then the new ████ is like a whole paragraph dude what's worse is the products in like Europe and America the same product that's why we suffer from autism ISM that's why you suck autism too many FR Loops isn't part of that also like law that they have to tell you more I read I read something that like
21:08 it's not that the ingredients change so much but also the law that they have to disclose It in America I I don't know I heard something that like they always had a lot of ████ but now they have to tell you oh ████ I don't know that's why we're ████ oh you're talking about like the past versus now I see like in the past they were they just had a handshake thing where they like you don't got to tell us much Ribble Flavin is in there and now they're like no you got to tell everybody cuz you ████ up everybody got fat now you got to tell everybody it's like fine we we put tobacco and the cigarettes fine I mean if tobacco's still getting away with it like come on isn't Mountain Dew clear in Europe oh I don't know they don't got yellow five or whatever yellow it's completely clear yeah they can't use some of the dyes that we use and like yeah pretty sure Coca-Cola is clear too I wish I could find out who actually started that old school Mountain Dew rumor know I'm talking that'll like burn
22:00 yourm makes your dick smaller it kills your sperm probably Shasta big Shasta but that's such a like like for things to go viral like that in like the early '90s I remember being so worried and I wasn't even producing sperm yet like yeah like not i' be like 8 years old I can't be drinking that ████ it's going to kill my sperm cuz that was never on like a news thing or a paper like that was Word of Mouth of kids yeah y That's so insane blowing on the cartridges all that we just fig remember like drinking suicide where you get like all the flavors are you going a suicide this time I think I am like orange beer everything and then your one friend is just like I don't know guys I don't think we should be doing this is it allowed it's not allowed
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