0:00 thank you [Music] welcome back to another Splendid episode of the careful boys today we have with us Christian Farina [Applause] anybody got any uh good road rage stories Nick oh dude no not really honestly I think all my road rage stories are pretty uneventful I'm really I've been really trying to work on it and try not to curse and like not to give reactions because I think it is kind of ████ made to be like you're gonna let that make you so angry because I get so yeah I agree um but it is kind of like fun not fun cathartic I guess is the word to release something you like it it's a reflex yeah yeah it's a reflex because you do feel like you're about to like die sometimes but no I've never uh really had any stories where like
0:50 I've flipped out on somebody and then like a fight ensues I've like I've gotten mad at people I don't know I think that's crazy that's nuts that's wild on the way home today I get in the fight with somebody and I'm like oh I wish I had the story for OTR uh no but there's been times where as soon as some guy will almost hit me I'll be flipping out I'll be yelling on my car screaming or whatever and then I'll drive by them and they just go sorry I'll just go like call I I hate that I feel so bad I'll be like it's worse when they flip you off yeah when they flip me off they start arguing back and they know it's their fault yeah but if they go here it completely disarms me and I go my bad yeah what are you gonna argue with yeah exactly oh my God that guy's great isn't it I feel the worst when someone is like super slow and I'm like what the ████ and then it's like a
1:41 really old person but they shouldn't be ████ they shouldn't be ████ driving though no no you're the ones that drive into like farmers markets and stuff they're like this yeah they drive like this but honestly though the way they drive is like some old people they're not looking anywhere they're the only ones on the road and like when you're driving and you're trying to be a defensive driver you have to be very you have to account for everybody that's like in front of you and like near your vicinity so like when an old person's driving like that it's it's a wild card it's dangerous every time I've almost died from someone swerving into me it's some old lady on a bucket ████ in the car she has no business driving but of course they all Drive armories for some reason they're having like a ████ Lincoln and from the 90s so it's all made out of ████ iron stairwell's like this ████ good Lord dude driving a ████ half a
2:31 tank and so then I'm in my little plastic Mini Cooper yeah trying to stay alive out here like plastic they're all in hot iron skillets man yeah exactly it's ████ bananas every single time I see a car that just Rams into a business I feel like it's always old people and it is yeah it's always old people that just drive in like all the way drive into the drive-in you know I was driving I was going up Atlantic I was going up Atlantic before Huntington and you know there's a Ralph's over there yeah we're both in the left turning lane and there's a car in front of me it's like a pretty old Toyota Camry and I was in the Miata at the time I see this guy's reverse lights turn on and I'm like why is he reversing in this left turn lane that's weird because I'm right behind him and he starts backing up and he keeps going he keeps going and I'm like what the ████ what the ████ I'm laying on my horn because I'm like this guy's gonna hit me he ████ is my car
3:23 dude and sure enough I'm like what the ████ was this guy trying to do so we pull over and I'm like and he's he's the oldest man I've ever seen oh he's the oldest man he was a sweet sweet brown man yeah and I looked at his license plate and we exchanged info and it was like he was born like 1940 ████ six or something and I was like dude that's pretty crazy like this dude is very old he should probably shouldn't be driving he's still in the 70s though dude voted for John F Kennedy like when he was 18 years old yeah dude that's pretty wild right but and then but he looked like really old like he looked extremely old um and then I was like why did you start backing up he goes oh I'm sorry like I was trying to go to Vons the Ralph's right there and I was like I'll try to go to Vibe it has nothing to do with that here's something that makes sense
4:13 yeah I was like I was like man you gotta be careful like you can't be backing up and trying to get a HoneyBaked Ham I was like you can't just be reversing without a left turning later I was like I was like sir like you're gonna hurt somebody like that's crazy and he's like I'm sorry I'm sorry but there was no damage and then that was it but like for that it's like obviously you're like what the ████ I want to be this ████ ass young man can you follow me into the Vons and help me reach the peas they're very high I went in there and I ████ helped them I carry the honey some sharp ass like 80 year olds and then you have like some 60 year olds that are like ████ falling apart if you don't use it you lose it went through in their life I guess some of them run the country you know yikes about my ████ president right now not my president
5:04 so in Carmel Mountain in San Diego there's a famous story of the motorcyclist who drove into a 7-Eleven in the 70s and that was my ████ Uncle Mark not the bread no way dude was he old no no you lose control it's 20s he was on a motorcycle yeah he did he had to ditch out and he just ditched through the front door of a 7-Eleven Oh I thought it was like a rumble the Bronx situation where he was terrorizing them he was chasing them down the video of somebody driving into the fireworks store no and then all these fireworks yeah yeah no yeah this whole thing just blows up yeah pretty wild why was that yeah that video uh nope have you do you have any road rage incidences no the way you stared off right now was like a war veteran yeah yeah you were like yeah no I do have one
5:55 um it's probably like two years after I got my license and I was on the freeway and I get cut off maybe by inches this guy misses me yeah um like near death situation yeah and um he's just driving through people swerving off um and this is when I was definitely less stoic and so I followed him and I had a smoothie in my car tight ████ that ████ what kind of smoothie was it uh I don't remember but the Jamba Juice because the thing was I didn't chuck it on the freeway it was like he got off tried to escape I got off he hit the red light off the off ramp was sitting there um flipped me off and then I chucked it yeah yeah yeah okay yeah and then he
6:46 gets out of the car you off like you did something well that's that's what that's what it is though like people like are just entitled I don't know they think that like you're in the wrong um or maybe they know that they're in the wrong they don't give a ████ and they just want to antagonize yeah that happens a lot but yeah that's kind of my dream though to throw a beverage at somebody you ever did that but the horse is like don't yeah yeah yeah because you look like an ████ maybe maybe that's what stops me don't miss lands into a trash truck I would miss okay somebody else's car and they swear straight up not athletic I would miss yeah yeah okay this is this is not really like road rage incidents but I thought about this the other day and you guys can't judge me but this is like a real thought I had and it was like I was driving through I was driving through this park and there was two girls just walking and I had a coffee from Phil's and in my head I just
7:36 thought and I I think about this every now and then I would never do it but I think about it and I think it's really funny but I would never ever ever do that when I was driving and I was like it wouldn't be funny if I just like chucked my coffee like out the door for no reason just add these girls like that would be so mean and that would ruin their day it's hot coffee no no like iced coffee some mojito scolding hot and then you just Chuck it out them and then you just drive off like that's so ████ up you wouldn't I would never do that you'd never do it why do you even have thoughts like that but it's like are you okay no yeah but I would never do it and I think about it I laugh really hard and I just continue on my day and I think we have to do a little of that like we have to do that a little bit more because we all have thoughts like that right yeah don't we I'm done intrusive thoughts I've done that actual thing but with water balloons you know I think about buying them a cup of coffee not throwing one dude you're like I ████ think I do we
8:27 used to do that when people got out of Montebello High I mean we would drive by and just throw water balloons at them like don't just ruin their day wouldn't it funny like you would never need to do yeah but then I was also that age so it's like but I'm not like in my 20s doing that to anybody I'm a 30 year old okay let's just keep water balloons in your car I keep Jolly Ranchers in my car for this reason dude no I would never I would never so you don't have that thought at all is that just me I've lived that thought already so you got that at your system and I know it's funny I got one I remember this so I was I was living in L.A and it was like you know Rush Hour as always ████ nuts and I was in a particular part of town I was like I didn't know where I was going I was going to drive into like a ████ set thing and I was like I don't know where the ████ I am and like the the road Forks so it's like it feeds into another
9:18 Lane and so I was just like trying to I was like okay I'm in the wrong lane ████ I gotta get in this Lane and I look over and this chick next to me I guess she's been pissed at me the whole time but I didn't even know I've seen it for the first time and she's like she's looking at me she's like I'm not letting you in she like whoa and I was immediately like whoa I didn't even know that you were like mad at me already I just got here like from this light and then um but immediately I was so ████ immediately mad I was just like I hope you ████ die like from zero to 100 I was completely fine like my air conditioner works I had no reason to be that mad your reaction just came out of nowhere I was like oh ████ oh my God that was a full reaction look at you like she was just like like like she was just still like had that mad face but it was
10:08 kind of like like out crazy like she was kind of like did he really say that kind of like oh wow you topped her yeah I think so but I made her go oh ████ after that like I spent the whole rest of the time thinking that like oh my God damn dude zero to 100 are you okay yeah I've had intrusive like it's been a long time since I've had intrusive thoughts like that and if I did have is that what that's called yeah like like you want to kill him but you you don't know it's any thought like that where like what if I just drove off this Cliff right now or the wheelchair you know what I mean it's like those thoughts that just like come in it's like what if I don't I don't even go there because then it starts actually being considered right so then um road rage all that stuff at this point when things happen I just laugh it off I'm just like oh that's cool that's nice that's cool and then I move on but um the the most recent thing
10:58 where I was like holding myself back from like actually doing anything is I bought that little van in Hawaii right so then um it's a it's it's like a go-kart it's weak as ████ and one of the scariest things was um I was at an intersection driving through and then these two girls like college girls in the SUV they didn't even wait to turn they just went for an almost ████ crashed right into us they went straight to us and swerved around us and I saw the ████ look in their faces and I was like damn dude they're gonna hurt somebody and at that moment um when you're in a slow car you can't go fast you just you're just dead like you know when you have a car that's actually a little bit newer or better you could swerve out I couldn't swerve I was just stuck and I was like yeah bro I just had to hope that they turned or else I would
11:48 have died and I was with Hannah my and my nephews and then I was like ████ man we could have ████ died and the funniest thing is like so Hannah didn't even know that we were right about to die because she doesn't know the road she's just in trains all day she doesn't know driving driving on the right side nah so she was just talking having a conversation the whole time I'm all like ████ and my nephews are behind me and they saw that ████ they're like oh ████ like they look like they saw a ghost Hannah's still going off having a conversation with us and we're just like and in my head I'm like should I turn around and I gotta lecture these drunk ass ████ they're gonna kill somebody maybe I should kill them before they kill somebody oh that's good and then that's what I'm thinking like crazy right and I'm like that was scary like I almost died right there yeah and I'm like what if they're down the street right now they hit somebody that's walking across the street and that's that's all I could start thinking about it's just like I don't know if she
12:39 was talking about YouTube or some video she saw she just kept going and the whole car was silent and she had no idea and I pulled up and I was like you know we almost just died right now she goes really what happened were you such a good driver you swerved away from that I thought it was over and yeah damn your chick thinks you're a good driver that's big because they trust you that's big yeah does hey does Nikki get mad at you like have you been in the car with her when she like when you have a road rage incident does she get mad at you yes oh dude I told you guys well this wasn't a road rage isn't exactly not yet anyway but like I was oh God I was outside this this like tuber party one time like downtown L.A and it was like late at night it was like we got there at 10 30 or some ████ and we show up and there's these two drunk guys there's ████
13:29 yelling and yelling and yelling and I feel Nikki like we do that thing to me like where it's like squeezing me extra tight like letting me know she's a little bit scared and that just pissed me off because these guys are just being ████ and I was like hey yo why don't you guys shut the ████ up and then if you see me like why did you do that you made me even more scared yeah yeah yeah because then the guys were like oh what do you want to do blah blah blah and I'm like dude these guys are so drunk I'm not worried about them or whatever but then I didn't know that Nikki felt like like she's like well at that point you don't know what the ████ could happen they could actually just come at you and come at me or whatever so that I learned a lesson from that though where it's like I thought that I was like doing the right thing sticking out for her but I found out I was making her feel even more comfortable but still lose lose yeah is it like um you felt like she felt like you're bringing on the
14:20 attention now yeah exactly whereas I was just trying to shame them into shutting the ████ up which never worked because they were just being belligerent but yeah he does that like if there was a situation where like he you know he thinks he's being and he was standing up I'm like sometimes it's better to just leave it alone though like when are the people like you're right like tail between their legs okay it's like it usually causes we're gonna we're gonna beat them all up road rage is probably the best example of that because most situations are exitable like you just not deal with it yeah yeah I think I learned that with with my my dad like growing up had the worst road rage it was so like I hated seeing it as a kid yeah so then I think that's why now I'm very like I just don't care which ████ happens on the road but he was like he like I never
15:11 knew if he was gonna get in a fight on the way to school and then one day he was taking me home from school and I was like I think I was I was nine or ten and then uh when someone cuts my dad off at the time he's chill now but when someone cuts him off he goes in front of them and break checks them and does all this ████ like it's like that's too much it's like a circus act and then one time a dude uh pulled over then of course my Dad pulled over too and then that guy is that's Pete yeah no that guy came out of his car and was like what the like I got my kid in the car you're doing all this ████ oh ████ started yelling my dad my dad rolls and a guy like stuck in the thing and then my dad saw his face dude he fell for that trick yeah and then the guy was trying to grab my dad and my dad closed the window and he was like and he started driving off and the guy's arm is in the window but of course I'm crying because I'm dirty
16:02 dude holy that's a coward bro in theory it's like gangster he's fighting look come closer it's like a theory that's like cool but like when if that's your dad and you're a kid it's like that's not I hated seeing that and then that night we like uh my dad was like hey uh don't fight no he he wanted to pray together he was a no Jesus thank you for letting me win the fight with the guy's other arms that's a good shot yeah exactly what Pacquiao would say I believe he fell for it thank you the best technique I could at the end of the fight I buried Jesus I buried his arm in the yard thank you God bless you amen thank you for blessing me with the best boxing skills ever he was like he wanted to pray about like because I
16:53 think he was super that was his limit and then he he was like bad let's pray together and then that I'll never do this again and then he never did it again oh man I wish you would she was praying about you know how he won another fight and he's got he's badass yeah he stopped doing it and I think by that time but but when I started driving I was doing the same ████ and then I stopped was the other guy like when you said um my kids in the car what's your dad like so is mine no he didn't say you should my dad was going like this all the time what he was planning what it's like a ████ thing to get them to like get close yeah yeah I'm gonna try that it's funny one thing that I changed my whole ████ on on like road rage is I was in the car with my mom and then like I think some guy cut me off what I was getting pissed and I was like you see these dumb ass drivers I don't believe people drive like this like I'm younger
17:43 and I still drive better than them and then she goes she was like you're only mad because you suck at driving oh and I was like that really stuck me like oh ████ dude because if I was better I would see 10 steps ahead yeah yeah it's like and then you would see the idiot coming down you would see and then I just I was just like damn like you're right and she goes if you're So you you're so good you'd be so confident you can maneuver you could do all this stuff and then um you wouldn't you wouldn't be caught off guard yeah it's like you're you're mad because you're caught off guard kind of true you know and I'm like damn you're right I just got to be a sick driver yeah that's kind of why like I hate when people honk their horn but it's not because you're in the wrong or something they just honk it because they got startled and then they're mad that you scared them other people just overuse the horn yeah
18:34 like the light just turned green but dude people are on their phones now and I I need the horn yeah I need it yeah everyone's on their ████ phone now so I gotta be like yo wake up get up get back on the road please people going ridiculously slow when it's already like traffic like oh my it's already fast traffic and they're kind of breaking and they're ████ it up because they're on their phone and they're like oh ████ and then they they continue to go but it's like a lot of times too it's like I feel you I could always tell when someone's about to cut me off yeah like I could ████ see it sure yeah you start to yeah you can kind of see and you're like oh this ████ doesn't even know I'm here this dude doesn't even know I'm like because and also too you have to be mindful of like where you are in relation to the person next to as far as like you want to drive in someone's blind spot no yeah exactly like it's like little things like that that feedback to happen right yeah a lot of
19:24 people don't think that way so then when they start trying to merge they don't even look over their shoulder sometimes and then boom there you are in their ████ blind spot you ever fought over a parking spot no I've gotten closer a couple times people have died over parking spots that's the dumbest thing but by the time they're done arguing you could have been in your another spot in the store out and home right yeah that's why yeah but they disrespected me yeah and you gotta you gotta tell them and they're physically standing in the spot you're the best sit way out of all of this but be so rich that you don't have to integrate with the pores yeah okay you don't go shopping no fighting in the parking lot helicopter helicopter no traffic yeah but you know what I read about this so when the owner of the Indianapolis Colts he has a helicopter and all the neighbors ████ about how he's flying
20:14 overhead all the stuff late at night and stuff like that yeah it's too loud city ordinances about when he can fly his helicopter he's a billionaire what kind of lifestyle is that as a billionaire it's just another tier of problems no matter how much money you have always more because we have billionaire neighbors that are complaining no he's got the commoners ████ writing letters of the city and ████ why because he has to go over their houses yeah exactly well he's not that rich then because billionaires they live on an island yeah their problems are probably crazy I think I'll stick with my assassinations I'll stick with my road rage problems that's true I deal with roll rage before assassination yeah [Music]
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