0:00 [Music] welcome back to careful boys everybody we are off the record right now i got a really important question that i think some unlikely few have had to deal with something like this and hopefully they were able to get out of it unscathed but my question is when you're dating somebody who threatens to kill themselves if you leave what do you do [Music] so this happened to a family member of mine and i didn't know that this happened to them back in the day um and i was like i wish i wish i knew like they didn't leave the marriage early on and all this stuff and um you know obviously you know i wouldn't be told because at the time i was a child so like who's what adult is going to tell a child this news right but then now at my
0:52 age like you know when when we were having this conversation i find out all this stuff and i was like no wonder you ████ ran away you know and then it got me to go you know what you should have just told him to ████ let him do it because it has nothing to do with you oh the guy threatened to kill himself yeah he was like threatening like you know if you you know if you leave me i'm gonna i have no reason to live i was like you should have just been like ████ it that's not my responsibility just do it you know like like not encourage it because that could incriminate her but just be like oh well too bad and i'm like that might sound heartless but really he's he's manipulating you like keeping you hostage with himself that's true yeah you know he's got a gun to his head he's like i'll ████ do it if you don't stay with me yeah in all seriousness i would do it in a bounce house because how do you kill yourself in one
1:43 of those things it's impossible because i'm like bouncing around it's the baby baby you can thrash as much as you want what are you gonna do no dude the bullet bounces around and then hits you oh didn't think of that oh i didn't think of a weapon i thought the bullet goes through and then it probably looks no not in a bounce house really ice skating rink how would you do it it's pretty hard with the zamboni oh jesus jesus if anyone threatens themselves to do that though it makes me want to run away from them even more right yeah it makes me want to go well please do it because you're scaring me and i'd rather have you die in all seriousness in all seriousness though like i can imagine that situation it's kind of like objectively absolutely if somebody's been like yo i'm gonna ████ kill myself you balance objectively ████ balance but then maybe it's not to say that person who
2:34 does bounce has the mental capacity to live with the result if that person commits it yeah i mean yeah and just like that guilt that feeling like i was part of it's not even like it's their fault yeah but they're part of it you know what i mean isn't it good to get like the family around like to try to help but that if it was like that bad you got to call a professional you probably need to call someone to put that person under 51 50. you better ████ call the suicide hotline and then be like here your mom wants to talk to you and then you're just like haha it's a suicide hotline and you run away and then you bounce and then you wow yeah because they'll just be like hello oh you're not my mom oh well yeah and then that way you're like oh it's not on me yeah suicide hotline was already talking to them they ████ up it gives you a clear conscious and the last laugh yep one degree of separation between your fault barrier
3:24 they were there as witness so if they do off themselves on the suicide hotline then i can be like that wasn't me fool you get a psychologist on standby isn't that also the suggested like legal protocol of what you're supposed to do probably just like tell what he just said like you should call the authorities yeah call the police this person threatened to kill themselves is what you do you go they're not safe i thought you're supposed to call the police and go can you please bring the trampoline and put it outside the window because that's not what they think john's house we need the bounce house the fire department oh look at this all right check this out um all right i'm not gonna leave chill out i think we should get some pizza because pizza makes everybody happy right so you call 911 pizza and you say hello pizza i need you to come here with a trampoline because somebody's trying to kill themselves or else i'll leave them in a
4:14 anchovy on that side pleated yesterday thank you for game night of course it would be so fun that's what you do you call the pizza and then they they come from the crisis the crisis guys come as usual joe incredible idea thank you thank you thank you i i think i would definitely definitely definitely seek some sort of um personal help first and then professional help because i think personally i maybe from my own mental like understanding i need to like not make some sort of decision on something that affects another person it's just the same thing you ain't got time to see a psychologist dude this is happening right now i'm not saying psychology but even like bouncing that off of a friend to make sure that i'm like not making an irrational decision because it's such a complicated you would feel bad if you're part of it a part of yeah but they're saying ████ how to
5:05 be a millionaire you can't just phone a friend they're about to kill themselves right now you can't be like can i can i use one of my phone a friend can't you be like i'm not gonna leave you i'm going home to sleep but i'm not leaving you like we're gonna stay together and then you'll be like yo i'll be like hey ryan dude like i'm in this situation by a bot and i can talk through it i almost feel like i make my choices you make your choices hmm i think that's very part of you oh really does that mean is that bad no i think i think in those situations that's great for you though like if you can live with the fact let's say me and you are in a relationship right obviously i'm like yo i'm gonna ████ kill myself you bounce right and if you have no emotional attachment and then i end up killing myself and you're like it is what it is good for you honestly because like you shouldn't have had to deal with that right but at the same time i think regular people who have like empathy and ████ for other people like people who aren't computers like in
5:56 2001 at space odyssey like you you think about that like for a second i i feel okay i'm not as robotic as bart but i have a different whole different mindset behind this whole process because like all right if this happened right first of all i don't know if i can like i i well the thing is i could still love someone and then still allow them to do it because i'm thinking they're in so much ████ pain that they need to leave this earth anyway good for you you relieved yourself of that right but then at the same time it has nothing to do with me in the first place i couldn't have prevented it anyway they were gonna off themselves left or right whatever i just i just they're verbally telling you it has everything to do but then to me that's like you're putting me as hostage when it was never about me leaving that's just in your own head so then whether i left or not they were
6:47 gonna ████ off themselves anyway in some other example yeah because there's projection at the end of the day so it's really has even though it has everything literally to do with joe it has nothing to do with joe that's i mean you're both absolutely right i just think that you're also like very you're very strong you're you're both very strong i also feel like i feel like while i'm crying there at the funeral i know there was nothing i could have done but at the same time i'm thinking this might be controversial but now she's in a better place because she was in so much pain that she had to do this or joe gets up on the funeral he's like i know everyone thinks i didn't do much but believe it or not i threw a pizza party anchovies anchovies on the pizza you guys hear about that famous case they did like a documentary on hbo you saw that one right with the dude who the girl who was telling her dude to kill himself yeah like they were together see that's different because
7:37 that she she's been ████ chipping away telling him to go kill yourself go kill you that's totally new that's totally different yeah you know what's the sad part though like this type of ultimatum i remember it being really common in high school yeah extremely break up like the just craziest ultimatums and like it's just like how the ████ do you handle that kind of ████ in like 15 or 16. dude i had a chick tell me she would do that if if i broke up with her and when i did and so i did it the day before christmas i was like she'll never ████ be able to do it someone's family in town and then she didn't do it right she couldn't do it how can you when you have ████ thanksgiving turkey you got your grandma making ████ tamales and then she's like i want to know what i got for christmas what are you gonna do just take a bite of that stuffing you know make all those problems go away exactly i wanted to blow my ████ brains out after a breakout break up in front of
8:28 the front door of the girl i was dating yeah because i was like ninth grade i was like you know what i'm a ████ knock on her door and be like oh you don't miss me now boom i want to ████ do that ████ you're in ninth grade like and i'm not the first guy that thought of that and then the women out there that ████ do that too they're not the first people to do that dude joe goes to your house and he's like tears in his eyes he's like because i love you so much i got you this wire brush easy now you can scrape me up oh that's the next level i didn't even think about that dude cut to her the next morning like because your dad's like you stupid ████ ████ i told you not to date for another three years when you said wire brush all i can think about is what's a wire brush and then boom yeah
9:19 that's like here's some steel wool you're gonna need it you'll be like you're going to need this you're going to be a lot of this why oh god jesus christ cut to their next day trying to use those but they get torn up by the concrete so that never happened to any of you guys where the person you were dating please tell yourself no please ryan please oh my god i thought for sure at least you would have had like yourself i'm very thankful i know these scenarios have happened literally just sweating now i just leave people regardless of what they say so i don't remember what if they still do it what if they still do it is like the thing okay ryan what happened off the fire freeway brian can you promise you'll never tell a story about me in your whole life today's video is brought to you by verity summer's right around the corner winter not really had it spring still kind of summer when you're living in a
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11:50 for 20 percent off veritybrand.com off the record hey man i think our friendship is now expired right it's just a matter of time till one of us start dying around you just never let us be a story in your life don't speak this into this do you not want to be one more of your story you guys all keep jinxing it bro this is terrible you have one memory of me not one what have we oh my god i thought someone would have had something like that and that's all the time we have left folks you have a would you have a story like that yeah but i mean she didn't die yeah oh no i'm out for the story but she tried and she's like paralyzed now god damn it no she's not paralyzed she actually she recovered but it was uh oh she recovered yeah she was it was senior year is my girlfriend the time was uh i was having a really big fight with her and she was also having a big fight with her dad oh
12:41 at the same time she couldn't take it anymore she said she's going to kill herself only if you leave she's gonna kill her i took that exact stance i said peace ████ all right go ahead then what what can i do about it wait she's gonna kill herself regardless or she's gonna kill herself if you leave yeah if i leave you because i didn't want to deal with like she you know like she was just being we had her own problems she had a problem with the dad which was making our problems even harder so i was like dude this is so ████ difficult like i can't i don't even want to be part of this war anymore so i said all right i'm out and then she said if you leave i'm going to kill myself straight up oh my god i did what what joji exactly said and i was on pizza i got myself little caesar's five dollar cheese really cheap but that's cheap with the crazy bread yeah the crazy brand dude i literally and i was authentically not bothered i was like fine because i had it in my head already preconceived that if
13:31 someone were to do that i would just be cold and like whatever ████ it so that's what i said um and then she calls me back like a few minutes later and she goes she goes this is it like i just downed an entire uh bottle of tylenol oh my god and she's like that's it she's like good job you did this oh see that's so funny i get in my car i drive all the way there it's it's she lived in west covina like really close to shadow park i drive all the way there from downey that's a drive and she's literally laying in the couch super white why don't you call the club i called i did i did call the cops i met him there the fire department comes over there uh they had to uh they they induced vomiting or something yeah exactly we had to i went with them to the hospital where they they have to like force feeder like tar it's like it's like it's like thick black tar holy ████ to pump her stomach
14:23 out whoa and so like i'm with her like this and it's like my ████ whole coldness that i thought i had you don't ████ have that when you're in this position i'm gonna tell you right now you can be the coolest ████ and once they actually do it in front of you and they're basically dying you don't have well then that would mean you're a sociopath exactly exactly because it's real now so she vomits up crazy bread [Laughter] meat lovers pizza yeah so she's she's just they're pumping it out she she has to forcibly sip it over and over it's like a tube it has to go in and then she has to go look it makes it go in again she goes blah it's just throwing up all black it's all like black when i i didn't mean really call the pizza i meant call the police call the authorities that's the that's the coals we both didn't know
15:15 when you call domino's the police come right after the noise so it's kind of a two-for-one don't get her breadsticks so when she calls you and told you that you immediately called the cops and i well what i did was i i still kind of retained that attitude of like you ████ idiot like but i called the cops rape i drove there at the same time that like the cops are going and then we got there around the same time well you kind of you almost saved her ████ life you did save her life yeah uh i mean it's a little uh cancels out but at the same time though it's like well you didn't encourage her no i didn't how dare she go this is your fault yeah that's why you know like it's so dramatic that she was that kind of girl because she put it on you but that's your age too because you said you jumped in front of a chick's car please but i was i still had my limit like i never wanted to kill myself i thought
16:05 that was like even for how telenovela but you took it seriously though you were like yo i took it seriously from like you ████ yeah i thought it was so cool like yeah she's killing herself see you there like just real ████ cool because i i had that a predetermined thing but it didn't hit me until i was helping her get the ████ ████ out of her stomach and then i was like holy ████ like you would be dead but at the same time it didn't make me want to be with her again yeah of course it never works it may be 100 like it's ████ done dude like this is insane yeah but also the human side of you comes out when you really see someone on the brink of ████ death of course of course so what happened afterwards she um she still wanted to be with me but it made it difficult because your dick must be awesome man all of these like
16:55 wow and the rest of the package it's you know the rest of you 19 million dollars bro the rest of you it's uh teddy's worth eight i don't know i don't know if like you guys know this but if someone uh tries to kill themselves like that like fully does it yeah by law they have to stay in a mental hospital for a little bit like she she had to take it's like 51.50 so is that what that is because you're like you're you're harming yourself so you need to be you know so we were in the middle of school still like there's still a school year going i think it's like like two weeks yeah high school she was like two weeks two and a half weeks she had to stay at a mental institution to make sure she was okay to like yeah go during that time like i that's when i really took the time of like hey like it's not gonna happen and i think by the time you get out hopefully we'll both understand that yeah and then by the time she got out she was still like hey
17:46 like i'm so sorry like i want to make it work she would come to like like years later she i would be doing like a dance show at my college and i would ████ see her front row oh so she's a stalker too did you tell her she stopped once she tried to come to a show one time and she tried to talk to me after but i just i jetted i was like that's the thing like most people when they say they'll kill themselves if you leave a lot of them are bluffing right and then the people that are bluffing it's like where do you think we're gonna go from this like oh yeah i'll be with you right and then the people that actually carry it out it's the expectation will still never go back like once you get to that part of the road there's no u-turn yeah what are they thinking like you're like you know what you just showed me that you love me so much juice dramatic as ████ like that that's what i was waiting for the whole time i think so that you know i know
18:36 that you really love me so okay i'm gonna i'm gonna stick with this one proved it to me yeah yeah it's something did you ever tell her you're like yo straight up you're too old for kisses she was a bit fine as ████ when i wanted to blast myself in front of my ex-girlfriend i didn't want her back i just wanted her to feel the pain that i did right so it wasn't it wasn't even like oh don't don't leave me i think that's what she wanted for me ultimately but i think getting through the experience of trying to kill yourself having to do therapy do mental institution i think she came out with like holy ████ like you were on my side in a way so she wanted not to lose it oh yeah because like you know when you go through something that traumatic and i was there with her and i ████ you know i was watching her save her life what are her parents there were they did they go to the hospital or
19:27 uh they didn't they weren't they weren't even home they're both working at the time they did later they went for the mental stuff they were there but they ████ hated me before that anyway but but the reason why like they blamed you in a lot of ways though yeah they blame me a ton but they should blame themselves for being s█████ parents they were ████ parents too her dad beat the ████ out of her and she would just like be like like ████ up the way like a guy would be after a fight she would look like that oh my god so she had so much ████ going on oh she had a lot of ████ going on jesus christ so much trauma yeah it was awful so there was like i mean it was just a severed and they came to the oddly enough they came to that dance recital too like it was her parents were both there too so i guess with her yeah they were with her so i guess they repaired some kind of like family dynamic or whatever and she really wanted to show that but i was just like dude that's what happened was she there to say something else right other than
20:17 just like can we get back together i think she was there to kind of like it was years later so i think she's there to show that like there's a new stability you live the dramatic life homie cuz you're ████ i get anxiety hearing your ████ she did not die she's fine she's married with two kids now i that's good that's a whole new tier of ryan stories the ones that didn't die but are still ████ ████ up hey the ones that got away but they're away from him and so they're so alive [Laughter] pretty crazy the ones that stick around and ryan are dead right this is why you're such an awesome human now because you went through some ████ up ████ i don't know why i feel like it's just like i i kind of was inviting that i think a little bit because i wanted to experience so much ████ being sheltered for so long oh yeah in a christian household nothing is you
21:07 know like there's no bad publicity it's almost like the same thing there's no bad experiences they're all like really as long as your senses get heightened you're a little bit like that was cool like you want the wild ride that's true there's a lot of people we know in our religion that are white like ████ george pink dick george from tiger belly i was so shocked george he has a wildlife like that too you got some crazy stars george was in a yeah he's in the whole thing he was you would never picture square ass george dude yeah cause he seems so stable he seems squares or is he pink i don't know what george we're talking about he's both he got a pink dick when your lifestyle yeah it's your family protects you from having a lifestyle with a volatile graph right they just want everything to be very safe and sound and like what a goddamn blessing but once you get a chance to taste something that's just either high or low from that it's like you just want to see what happened yeah yeah damn
21:59 welcome to another ████ up story of mine [Music] foreign [Music]
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