0:00 thank you [Music] would any of you change your name in order to get a free product for life I think I know what this is it depends on the product yeah what's the product change my like legal name the whole name like if it was like change your first name Daniel Defense and then you know it's a product do you get to choose which product would you do it for how frequently sandwiches Subway no I don't even like something you have to change your name to come dumpster oh I'll do that your last name Subway right people already call me that yeah yeah it's got my nickname around the gym your first name is I'll do that for free I think I talked to a guy on Grindr named come dumpster no you have to change your name in Subway your first name has to be Subway Subway
0:54 Joe jitsukawa that's actually kind of tight what if there's already a Subway out there and then like do they just get it then there's no such thing I'm actually down to change my name to Albertsons if I could get like free groceries every week that's probably I would do that I would do that too but what if you move where there's no Albertsons like Hawaiian it's like Foodland I'll be at Foodland Nick done I'll ████ up if you do that legally and then everybody else just calls you what they know you by anyways he just says Subway I think the ribbon might call them Albertsons dude if he called himself Albertsons got the agreement and then Ralph's buys out Albertsons and then she becomes around oh ████ it's a lot of name changes one word it's like if you if you get a tattoo you get like free Subways Subway did that too they did that I know
1:44 Subway's doing a new promotion where they're like hey guys I know you guys didn't like our Meats before but this time we're slicing them right in front of you freshly sliced Ashley Jersey Mike's does yeah they're just copying them but they're still not as good as Jersey Mike Jersey Mike's pretty good actually would you change your name to Jersey to Jersey yeah yeah absolutely free Jersey Mike's yeah wow okay I'm easy though because like Colleen said who gives a ████ everyone knows me as Steve anyway who's gonna know the guy at the bank has called me ████ Jersey I don't give a ████ it's gonna break your mom's heart thank God what because she's like I named you Stephen I'm getting a tattoo my mom doesn't even know about it yet I'm gonna show her in person breaking my mom's heart is what I do for a living my friend you know Subway in the early 2000s were like it was every ████ year without fail the number one franchise like and then they
2:36 see oh ████ it up they ████ it up what do you what do you think it used to be good I remember when I was like people look forward to getting a Subway we'll cut trio with the mayonnaise first ████ the quality the younger brother and the second was they started they started ████ the franchisee how'd they ████ the franchise charging them way too ████ much their margins were so bad because it used to be a low entry point meaning like very affordable for people to get started and they had good margins so that means you kept more money and then the guys that were successful would end up opening up more Subways and then so it was it was more it was everywhere right and then the CEO got kind of greedy their locations passed McDonald's for a while remember Subway is the lowest common denominator of society though that's true like when they're driving places to like ████ random like NorCal or
3:27 whatever if you're going through one of those rest stop areas they usually have a gas station and a Subway yeah yep in the same spot and they can they're the best bang for the buck when you have a production oh yeah that's why you always see them stacked up for 50 bucks for the platter I bet you so many indie films have been fed by Subway yeah the cold cut mix ████ thing or fat cells fat cells oh you know what I would change my name to Jollibee Jones if I can get food Jollibee is so good though that's also kind of legendary Jollibee Jones Jollibee Jones good name would you change your name to Din Tai then taekwon let me see what would I change it to didn't I quad choose a fast food I could get for the rest of my life
4:17 McDonald's would you be down to change your name for free guns I think so dude only that brand though only that brand you have that brand loyalty what if you were just tearing tactical bars Terror tactical I do like guns and I don't really mind the brand actually really oh so it's like oh but it's a it's a lifetime supply I guess yeah it makes sense if you a brand new one it always comes out yeah if someone gave you five grand a month would you change your name to butt ████ butt ████ but I've got a month legally I think so all right you're retired yeah you're done you're set you mean your last name or your first name I don't care whatever first name tell me and people have to address anything though seriously considering
5:09 you would really do that I'd do butt ████ yeah yeah I'd do that ████ right now I'll be ████ right away hey people call me worse over here everybody wants to get but today but let's let's retire I got everyone the JK customer won't be a butt ████ hey while you guys are all having your normal names I'm over here at home just kicking back looking to mind you placard they're not gonna let you advertise your classes anywhere oh yeah it's too good to be true huh I gotta see what this is about this this guy's name is blood he must be pretty tough dude I'll make it work for me that's a good thing yeah yeah yeah yeah I'll make it work for me I'll start releasing gloop programs look at my butt is bigger than Barts and I'll just be
5:59 butt ████ forever I think maybe there's advantages to have a name like butts yeah you guys are all ████ taking L's while I'm winning to the best what ████ though catching five a month you're catching five a month that's it hey how about this would you be down to change your name to Gracie like Gracie Jiu Jitsu even though you don't do crazy Jiu Jitsu I do not related to the family at all I prefer yeah yeah it's embarrassing more than butt ████ yeah yeah but that's easier yeah it's easier transition for me I'd rather be butt ████ than Gracie just Gracie Gracie's a girl's name dude that sounds girly for Christmas damn yeah what is a brand that I'm like I will forever Toyota I have consistently bought throughout my life dude Toyota
6:50 I got four Toyota trucks it's like a racist name that a white writer came up with for a script it's funny because it's me Joe Toyota from Japan and his freshman year in high school in the states is a little complicated Toyota was riding a bike it's a Malaysian boy but I know I'm probably gonna want one for the rest of my life dude they're pretty sweet it'll be there for the rest of your life I think it's a good choice yeah because it's not going anywhere it would suck if you chose like Trinitron or something that like discontinues Iowa yeah you're way good one is a Ford Raptor yeah they're ████ expensive though wouldn't you rather have an electric truck how much are they wouldn't you rather have an electric truck ████ no why would I want an electric truck what are you talking about what ████ hoses I don't know you
7:43 can't you can't carry anything with those things they lose their charge so fast grocery bags dude that's it ████ that I want to haul real ████ I don't even know what I I mean it's nice to just be able to move ████ like if I remember one of my most embarrassing moments I was I was a truck guy for a long time then I get a Mini Cooper I'm at Ikea with Nikki and she wants to get a coffee table and I'm like we have to go get your car now it's not gonna fit it that was a low Point yeah so there's no name change that you would be too ashamed to have wrappers pretty good I think butt ████ would actually give me some advantages in life would you change your name to Steven Ford Coppola yeah that's honestly because it's so cringy ah damn it yeah yeah you know I like
8:33 that the other end yeah because then people are like oh God and I'm like and I'm like yeah I'm the hardest person to get man like you're not you're ████ Bulletproof would you change it to Epstein Stephen Epstein Island all of these are just great trolls like you guys could be My Writers because everyone's gonna be like yo this guy's connected and he's gonna love that attention but and that's like the internet's loose like maybe the dumbest people on the Earth internet sluice are like I think he's connected to FCI this can't be a coincidence Steve Epstein Island yeah we have to look into this guy if you had to and you only have two choices you're either Jeffrey Epstein Jr or Adolf Hitler Jr who would you Epstein
9:23 Junior for sure for sure dude imagine your your Adolf junior bro Edom Jr that's great no it's crazy though I I heard before like the Hitler name was pretty common and then after him it's been so like people that were were like ████ this dude we're gonna change our last names no one that wants to name their kid Jeffrey now what show would you rather watch Epstein Junior Jeffrey Epstein Jr or Adolf Hitler Jr because that because that show he's gonna be way more interesting yeah yep and what's the premise is it just Hitler's son and him growing up ████ growing up in the world and it feels like there's less kids harmed in the show yeah yeah yeah cause it's just
10:13 him and then versus Jeffrey Epstein Jr it's like ah and then and then there's a there's like a little bit of drama right because then like his teacher in class sees him writing and she's like what are you writing are you writing over there you're not you don't have to change Steve Green but you have to add this in the middle and it's going to be your writer's Guild name it's going to be what they credit you for all your movies Steve White lives matter green there's no other choice that's it that's it it's gonna be in quotations on the credits of everything you ████ do if you're gonna go down you might as well go down and style him you mean you're doing your first movie on black history another another added another added in it's the it's the it's the white fist Emoji yeah
11:03 can I keep on putting myself every time I hand another paper I put myself foreign
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