0:00 [Music] and welcome back to careful boys today we're continuing The Chronicles of Colleen we are yeah we are we're talking about Howleen a man in your life actually was able to bust what out of the friend zone into the loveone I like the cut to Joe what what no we're not talking about this have you guys have you guys ever got out of the friend zone yeah how do you get out of the friend zone I did dude I married my friend zone yeah yeah I'm busted out of that that that's I'll say this there's a risk of reward we were friends first for years so and you already talked about how you were you were you into her or were you not I was always kind of into her cuz that's the thing is I think I
0:51 got friends I became friends with her cuz I knew I was going to collect on that check later I think it's hard down payment as Steve would say get with a friend if you don't find attractive yeah that was awesome wait what don't get with a friend or no no no so like okay so guys getting out of the friend zone is different from girls getting out of the friend zone th% so like in in um Nick's case right the the reason why Tiff was able to get out of the friend zone is he's always found her attractive mhm but then it was all but he wasn't hitting on her right ween have to build the attraction yeah yep I slowly started aggressively hitting on her slowly started slowly but aggressively but like I would try to make it funny mhm you know what I mean um I would just say very forward things like when are we
1:42 just going to make out that's pretty sick you're a g dude no honestly I don't know I didn't know what the strategy was I just thought it would be funny and I would just say it and then it kindly it got good positive reaction so then I just kind of took it a little further every single time did you talk to her about it and then was she like like yeah I always liked you too or like what was that nah I could tell by the way she responded she kind of liked it like she would like she would laugh like that but she but you never T had to talk of like hey we were friends for so long but how come we never got together or like how come no I years were you guys friends I I wasn't probably two two three years cuz I wasn't dude I wasn't mature enough to be like hey so I'm Into You you know what I mean like it was more of just like I I ████ kind of like this Shick I'm going keep uh shooting my shot you know
2:32 just every day and it's easy cuz you can see him every single day cuz we' be in high school together but but was she with other people or like again we were probably like I met her like my sophomore year damn and then we got together my our senior year Nick is the exception to the rule but it doesn't sound like he was friendzone you know what it sounds like to me sounds like they were both into each they were just very slow TR but she but she was like she she had some other ████ stupid boyfriend oh okay he was friend zone then he was and how long she was huh but for how long were you ah probably not yeah up until like my my senior year where I was like you know I'm a ████ holler I'm I'm like ████ this was she still with the guy yeah kind of so you stole her not really but they you know like they were kind of on outs apparently you know he that's when you were like oh ████ my turn he was like talking to other chicks and ████ you
3:22 know that kind of stuff so you're going to rescue her to be a stable man mhm yeah I guess she settled really I guess on the ████ rebound forever rebound but yeah so it was just more of us we had a playful relationship I think we kind of built it up that way cuz I'm kind of like that's like my personality it's in my wheelhouse I think so then eventually we just started to extend over time and then you know I tricked her dumbass pretty much you know you know where um friend zones don't work where when one is clearly unattracted to the other and sees them as a sibling relationship yeah and it's yeah only they're there for utility there's no no attraction though in that case yeah that's hard zero attraction yeah I've never been in a case where I met a girl that I was attracted to that I just said no let's just be friends if I'm attracted to a girl I'm just going to start trying you know but then once I
4:14 get the hint all right there's we're not going to be friends that's usually how it is but if I meet a girl where I'm like oh yeah we're going to be good friends then it just stays that way it never has gotten from one stage to another it's either one or the other so it's never transitioned from nope never transition yeah cuz like when for me I already know right away like oh I'm either interested in you or I'm not that's just dudes yeah I mean yours was a success story well yeah but that was I got I mean that was like I we both got out of relationships around the same time I didn't know that Nikki was already like in love with me telling her friend that ████ so then like when I singled up she saw it is like oh ████ I'm going to pounce I'mma dip the scoop then you were never in the friend zone well I I mean we we're both very loyal people in relationships I'm not kidding
5:04 we're very like single-minded on that ████ and we're loyal ████ so when so I honestly think that I was not someone that she was into until she got betrayed in relationship blinders on yeah yeah oh I guess that's a form of friend zoning because like yeah when you're in a relationship you're not in the on the hunt and then you can find people attractive but like you're not even like entertaining that it's not even so you do you do friends people because yeah naturally but boundaries I think when people typically talk about the friend zone they're talking about clearly platonic relationships that are like almost sibling type and so like you have a friend that and I think this is where the whole nice guy like uh manipulation comes in cuz it's like they are secretly in love with
5:56 the person that thinks they're having an authentic friendship that doesn't involve him wanting to ████ right there was moment like that for me H there was moments like that for me for sure when we were I was courting Tiff where like I I really liked her and it was probably like maybe like my junior year or something like that I really liked her but she I could feel like she kind of wasn't into it you know what I mean I remember one time we went to we went to a school dance and we went as friends and I gave her a kiss at the other night and then she she was like I can't talk to this ████ for like a little bit she was like and this is when she was already like just getting out of the relationship with other guy dang no that's probably what it was though she prob maybe she felt wrong yeah I just can't jump into did you ever talk to her about that again it's like hey what yeah I asked her and she was like I just was uncomfortable like I didn't know how to deal with that she just wasn't into it
6:47 at the time yeah she was a fool you were friend on I've been friends on look at her now yeah she made the biggest mistake of her life yeah what where where you like somebody and then you yeah yeah I thought I was doing everything right you know and that's why the whole nice guy finished last thing stuck to my heart you know what I mean like that's why I was like you know what I'm going to be a ████ ass dick yeah my whole that is a young man's Evolution like they do that a lot yeah I was like a I was like a I was like a sophomore she's like a senior and I was like yo what's up you I Wasing I was simping simping and then she's just like you know what I had such a great brother brother brother and I was like you ████ and I was like like you know what I was even friends with your brother and I was like ████ this she like even better bro Bud thank God I didn't go in her it was like
7:37 a sign we're such great friends yeah but that's how I got I bagged my wife you know I was just a straight ████ I was just like yo I just try to ████ and then next you know 7 years later here we are having the kid yeah not ████ I was a bad boy bad boy that is a funny thing huh you try so hard dud and then like when you just relax and you just don't care then people start liking you that's why I believe when I tell people it needs to happen naturally things will happen naturally more you force more you want you start seeing things you don't want you start seeing that are red flags and then you're like oh it's not what I expected and then then that ruins your whole game of wanting something or wanting them blah blah blah that's why I said make it natural yeah cuz the more you try to attach to that person they're just like
8:29 they want push you away even further people who click on a video about how to get out of the friend zone don't know how to act naturally I believe I agree as a generalization no hit I'm not hit hurting anybody I'm just saying like that is just probably what's going on and that's probably the primary issue is that they can't just chill out yeah so social skills but it makes sense if their natural isn't natural you know what I mean cuz to to them it's like well if I'm going to be myself I really like this person blah blah blah blah blah you know what I mean if they're a high anxiety person so to act natural they have to be the opposite of themselves kind of like if they're natural is nervous and anxiety and then they're intense so then but I guess it also depends on like what level of friends are you are you just acquaintances are you somebody who like shot your shot once and you guys talk every once in a while are you actively
9:19 in each other's lives because I feel like it's easier to get out of the friend zone if you are actively in each other's lives and there's value to be had on both sides as friends I think most of these guys are basically the coyote off the road runner getting blown up every you're right yeah matter what they keep chasing doing it every single day and getting blown up every single day there were so many like friend zone guys that would like just be like they they would just be Uber drivers for their girls and then they don't ever get any like Y and then they're just such a good friend but then they were just basically using them for favors I held her hair back while she was throwing up uh pretty great guy I'm really good guy yeah and then the girls were like you know they feel close cuz they're like the shoulder to cry dump being their you know feeling and so the guy just sitting there
10:10 listening to how they got railed by this other guy and then like d and I've seen situations my ████ was tearing open and he's like oh my God I'm so sorry yeah I'm so sorry you had to go through that I even seen like firsthand like hardcore simping gift giving all this stuff and I'm like damn you guys are trying to buy affection so so hard it's so odd but then also on the girls end like to receive it and allow that relationship to maintain when you know he's simping hard for you that's also wrong too yeah that's ████ up some girls are I think I think there needs to be a very clear boundary that if you are aware that this is clear that somebody is into you and you don't want to pursue them you need to set that boundary you guys right away but some girls are like well he wants to give me right away but some are like he wants to give me this gift but if
11:00 they've never stepped over that line in a long period of time and has truly respected the friendship and has giving you no reason to question them even though you might think there might be then it's like it's a little gray area K has a parable dude yeah cuz some girls will like the attention that their guy friends are giving them so they know they're sometimes they're aware that they like them but they keep them in the friend zone yeah it's consistent validation for that I don't think all do some of them truly think they gave you the brush off many times and we're Gucci now and we finally solved it or whatever and then you're still doing that internal pining for them ████ thing and that's why you're still there do you feel like a strategy for some of these guys to like literally go all in and say hey do you think I'll ever like you I
11:50 want to pursue something you might as well you might as well right blow it up get your answer and blow it up but I think they're cowards the thing is they are afraid of losing just even the the connection the Rel even if it's false do you think that because they're so in love they're so in love falsely that they don't want to lose that person that's what I witnessed some rather talk to these guys they's so much in ████ denial they're some of the most stubborn ████ people to deal with right because like delusional they'll want to talk to you and then they'll vent to you about all these things oh you think that's a sign do you think she actually likes me and you'll tell straight up you ████ talk to her and you tell her straight up and then if she says no you move on to the next person that you you're so ████ go annoy somebody else
12:40 yeah yeah yeah exactly and then this will always happen go bug the next chick it will go over their head they would act like they never heard you and then they go right back to asking questions I want to ████ sock them in the face it's their comfort zone though that's where they're comfortable is being their simp ████ and they think that it gives them good guy points up and out the ass good guy points are whack dude they they're not transferable no because not to love making and I said look I was like can't redeem I remember this one guy right I said I was like hey um you think you're going on dates she just told you she went through a bad breakup she just needs to like unwind and enjoy and you're a good friend and you take her to all these Adventures she's not on a ████ date with you and I told him straight up I was like if she already told you this information You're Building attraction in your own mind
13:31 she's not building it and he goes how do you know and I'm like I was like ████ she told how do you not know yeah and he goes yeah but we're hanging out we're getting along these dates are great and I'm like she prefaced this whole ████ and told you it's not a date and he goes yeah but you know the other day when we went to go shoot when I put my hand up like this she put her hand up like this and we shot and I'm like I do that ████ with Bart as a joke I was like wasn't a joke joke I was like this is real I was like don't ████ waste my time anymore and say the same ass ████ you need to talk to her straight up and like ask her if you don't then don't ████ ask me for advice for anything also like think about like even if they were to get into a relationship I wonder how the communication would be if you can't even get to that point in communication why you talking to me why don't you talk to her that too how could you even like
14:21 think that this is going to be successful right dude some good advice I would say is because there's some guys that they fail to see that yo she's literally giving you signs that she doesn't want to be whatever and you still don't get it you just have to literally get yourself to like yo step stop being friends with this person it's either like either you try to go for her or don't do it at all and like don't be her friend well the thing is you're going to get stuck in that what woman is going to respect a guy that doesn't show his true intentions to her cor like and it's he's he's waiting for her to turn around and accept him like that is the that is the most un manliest ████ ever once more for the people in the back your true intentions right your true intentions is that you want to ████ the ████ out of her and you won't admit it and you let her trauma dump on you all day and you're her personal ████
15:11 Butler because you can't wait till one day put it in her dude you're a real friend you're a scumbag you're a liar you're waiting for the moment that she's drunk so then or like vulnerable because she went through a more major breakup and she needs some dick she cry on your shoulder and you reach for that ass and she's like what are you doing and then you're going to be a rapist and going to jail you psychopath yeah crazy mother but you know what I do think it's possible for guys to get out of the friend zone it's just unfortunately not going to be them no if you nervous energy you're ████ already if you don't have the personality to get out of the friend zone but there are other guys that can in situations where they were never the simp ████ to begin with like they were the guy that like oh that could be a good candidate but like he's with someone right now and then we could have
16:01 fun and we're cool and we'll we'll be in group Gatherings whatever whatever oh here's my chance like in your situation with Nikki it's like you both are available and she's like you know what I've been thinking that he was great in the relationship and he would have been a great guy to be with and then so she's already having that thought in the head think too yeah you should definitely flip your mindset and go how can I friendzone these girls too because no cuz here's this is what's going to help because when you force them to be in the friend zone and you go you know what I like you but we got to be friends right now blah blah blah blah oh that's what you mean like you got to set you're basically showing them that you're setting the boundaries hey what if you talk to other girls hey what if you about that I like you but we got to be friends like you in the beginning like if this girl's like telling you about her breakups and this guy railing her and stuff it's like Yo dude maybe we
16:52 shouldn't be like you know close close because I don't know but cuz me and Nikki talked about that ████ for like you know our first like two couple dates like we were talking about just all the ████ we went through but that was cuz you were dating somebody else too right yeah yeah yeah so I think that's a that might be a superpower you might have it was great for us you might be able to pull a card of like yeah the difference between um sharing and and and Trauma dumping and relating versus being an emotional tampon so it's like I think that's what K's talking about is like when you're just constantly just there as a girlfriend yeah that's true she's seeing you completely different we were bonding from like hey we both went through some ████ to being you're bonding over a human experience regardless what it is it's not necessarily this like Dynamic I almost found out what my superpow was and I was like oh ████ what is what is it I was
17:43 just saying like if you're in the friend zone you're a guy and you're trying to talk to some chick so what if you were saying like oh yeah I'm casually dating other ladies like how would that change the dynamic do you think that would change for that girl to be like oh if it's authentic yeah if it's fake they're going to see you got talk to other ladies yeah yeah yeah exactly don't bet it all on one thing the same thing that's what I'm saying like they fail to see the current Dynamic then they don't have they're not ready yet to break out of that stage yes cuz they're still in um in a in afraid stage of like losing you know yeah yeah but you also never know when some ████ is watching you yeah right like I out there bu I was in a full-on relationship and that's when and that's when I found out like that's I found out later on that like the way I was treating my girl at the time was
18:33 exactly how Nikki wanted to be treated I had no idea I was just like doing what I always do and that you're just being you dude you know what I mean you're just being the difference here is we all can be in relationships right so like I could tap into the S boy in junior high and I remember like you know showering a girl with compliments and gifts and like it's like too it's too desperate the energy is just like please pick give me give me and also I don't believe them it doesn't come off authentic anymore no it's too I didn't earn them I don't I don't respect your your vision in in compliments and then you put them on a pedestal and then you want them so bad to the point where like you have no self-control and that's not attractive you know what if we flipped it and it was a girl trying to get out of the
19:23 friend zone how does that change do you think the rules are the same well only if she's hot I think guys are really shallow no 100% I think guys are super ████ if she gets hot then it's on yeah yeah yeah so you got to get hot let's say a a girl was invisible to a guy because he didn't find her attractive physically or whatever right but let's say they were like really good friends cuz guys can be platonic friends with women they're not attracted to yeah cuz they're not thinking about ████ her they be real deal friends like they could play Magic to gathering for like 8 hours they can hang out in a c Log Cabin alone in a ████ snowstorm I think the unattractive unattractive female friend to a guy is like a gay best friend to a girl y okay so then a guy's looking at them and like thinking man if only you were hot we would have been such a great
20:14 couple does fix it that does change everything I'm so glad you're a ████ Bridge Troll or I'd be all up on you we'd probably have kids and stuff right now I mean people get on the like the The Superficial stuff but it is important it it plays a fact then when I say attractive it plays a factor look at the camera right now and tell guys how to break out the friend zone be hot
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