0:05 Welcome to another episode of Careful Boys. Today we're going to dive deep into some other branches we may have taken down this road called life. If you had listened to everything your parents said, where do you think you'd be right now? Dude, they were so dumb. So dumb. that dumb? If I If I followed in everything that they said, I would have been absolutely in a horrible position. Where Where do you think you'd be at this moment? Yeah, what would be What would be would even have made it this far? What would you be doing in 2025 if you did exactly what they said? I would have been a classic classical pianist. Wait, what the I just think you could have looked like a pianist actually. Pianist is running like a boba shop? Mhm. Wait, they were so dumb that you would have ended up a classical pianist? Why is that so bad? Um He's You're talking to a pianist. Oh. Oh, he's a OH, HE'S A PIANIST. WELL, classical pianist where though? Like at a church
0:55 or at a Nordstrom? Yeah, like at a symphony or Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like where would you Where Where at? All right. Or Are you seeing it as a bad thing or is it a good thing? Or like on a cruise. I don't know now. You're making me question what if I don't care about what you're saying. I don't know. Like if you never defied anything they ever told you. You look like a classical pianist. Yeah, I was going to say. So my dad had muted music school. He was an opera singer. And he I think So my brother was just already like I'm a I'm a ████ mechanic. ████ this ████ right? Okay, yeah. And then he became a scientist, so he they gave up on him. I really loved music. So I think they had dreams of like Oh, he's going to be he's going to Okay, we're going to build this music school and he's going to ████ take over that and then I'm going to pave the way. I'm going to do opera in
1:45 America. I'm going to be like the first Asian to do this ████ Phantom of the Opera show in America. And then like I'm going to come up and then like I'm like, "Yo, that's lame, bro. Like I want to do rap." NAH. CAN YOU IMAGINE ME SINGING FIGARO, FIGARO, FIGARO? You know, it's like Low-key I can see it though. That's the crazy thing. the crazy I can see it. Like I can't see it. Yeah, yeah. No, I I could see you as the first person to merge opera and rap. Dude, opera rap? For real, I can see this guy doing that. Do Do this so lame, right? So like When you're in I went to a ghetto ass school, so everyone had young parents.
2:35 So all of my friends' parents, they had the freshest clothes. My parents came in dressed ████ in a suit and a dress all the time. Like look like and I'm like, "Why you guys got to look and pretend that you're rich? You're not ████ rich." And it was embarrassing, dude, cuz they're like, "Oh, your grandparents are here." Cuz my parents were old. And then they had young parents, so all of my classmates straight up call them your grand Yeah, CUZ MY BUT THEY MY PARENTS WEREN'T OLD. It's just that their parents were teen ████ parents. So their grandparents were actually the same age as my parents. But then they also looked old cuz they dressed up. And everything was so like, "Oh, why you guys got to be classical? Like why can't you do hip hop? You know, like Wear baggy jeans. Yeah.
3:25 And then everything was You should have told them that. Be like, "Hey Mom, this next parent-teacher conference is going to be hip hop themed." He's going to come ready. Don't wear a dress. They're going to get They're going to make fun of you. Props to my dad Cuz I did I I asked him. I was like, "Hey, like can you please wear a t-shirt?" And this ████ came through with a Grand Canyon tourist t-shirt tucked into his slacks belt all the way above his belly button. Dorky as hell. Yeah. And then he had like some tourist hat like a ████ ball cap. And he was like, "Yeah, bro." Like he did it. Dude, that's crazy how that's like swag now. For real. That's That's That's like That's dad swag, yeah, for sure. But I was like, "It ain't the same, dude." But is he Is he cool cuz he doesn't care?
4:15 But I back then it was like classical. And then you know like when you watch Steve Urkle and ████ like that and then they're like everybody's into They're like, "Oh, that's the nerd stuff." Right, yeah. Yeah. That's why you got to go Stefan Urquelle, baby. So if you listened to him, think your career would for sure revolve around music? Yeah, if I took over that trajectory be a piano teacher as well. I would have probably took over the music school that they built. I would have probably Yeah, but you know what though? I think the way they taught was Asian style. So I would have beat the ████ out of all of my students and then gone to jail. Well, because times would have changed. But they would have been really good though. The kids would have been so good. They probably would have been great. Yeah. And there's no way Joe would have adapted. No, exactly. Nope. It'd be a documentary like the dark side.
5:08 Nothing but Asian kids with tears around on on their eyes on the piano and ████ Yeah, dude. Yeah, that's true. Cuz the cool thing is I didn't know it was a a stereotype until way later that Asian kids all were like My parents want me to be a doctor. And I'm like I never I didn't know this. No, so What was this? So it's like you you wouldn't know. You think everyone is the same and goes through the same thing. What did they think about you wanting to be a doctor if you were to say that? If my parents? Yeah, like if you if you had rebelled against being a musician that they wanted you to be and you were like, "But I want to be a doctor." Oh, I think they would have loved it. So funny, I told my mom like, "Oh, I kind of I kind of want to like be a nurse to help people." They're They're going to kill someone. You're going to give them the wrong shot. B AND I T or something.
5:58 Yeah. Cuz I can fix the Wi-Fi. You did exactly what they didn't want you to do. Exact thing that they were afraid would happen to you? Yeah, cuz I I'm I'm a businessman. Oh, yeah, that's true. So both of them chose music because both of them came from So my my Yeah, like no, my dad's dad was my grandfather is like a CEO of some electric company that tied these electrical boxes to ████ tell like those wires. Those top Yeah. And then my my mom side, her great her grandfather was the Toshiba exec and and her dad was a CPA. So they're all business people and they're they blame their childhood of never having a family to them overworking in business. So he was like So they were like, "Don't be a person that just thinks about money
6:50 and work all the time." And then like you know, live a life of like balance and art and and like whatever. So they chose music and they're like, "I'm coming to America." That's very different from a lot of the other Asian experience. Like a lot of parents are very like make money. Like that's all they say. Yeah, so because my parents weren't peasants that are like desperate for like I need money, right? flee a war and then So that's I think that's why it's different where it's like they don't have this scarcity mindset of you need to make money to survive. They just had debt like a ████ and they didn't know how to control their spending cuz they were rich kids. And then they but they were like, "You need to live a life of like enjoying purpose like dumb hippies, you know?"
7:41 And then don't be greedy but also religious, right? It was against our religion to be flashy, greedy, money hungry. Can't adorn yourself. And I ████ went that way, bro. Yeah, LOOK AT YOU NOW. BUT YEAH. HOW ABOUT YOU? LET'S LET'S HEAR FROM BART. YEAH, BART. Would you become just a time traveler or If I listened Oh yeah, was your mom and dad in in sync of what they wanted you to be? That's a good Yeah. Your Cantonese and like different Chinese, right? Taiwanese and my mom my dad's Cantonese. They got divorced when I was six cuz they don't see eye to eye on anything, but I do think they wanted me to be good in academics. So if I followed exactly what they wanted I probably would have stayed in Chinese school until I was like 18. So
8:33 I'd be really fluent in Mandarin. Um reading and writing. I'd be vegetarian. So almost like a like a vegetarian, yeah. My mom's vegetarian and I'd be eating ████ vegetables all day, so Go to one school only. So I'd probably have osteoporosis. I'd have osteoporosis. I'd be malnourished. And I'd Yeah. A Buddhist a Buddhist vegan. ████ and then I would have stayed at one school. I would have ended up going to probably Whitney High School. You know Whitney in Cerritos? I would have went to Whitney if I did everything right. You would have married Tracy. No, she's in I probably in my parents' eyes it's like I'd have to probably marry I'd probably have to be a Taiwanese or something. So Taika wouldn't exist. Oh,
9:24 yeah. Taika is my son. So it'd be have to be Taiwanese. Do you think they would have wanted you to be Do you think both of them would have wanted you to be a doctor? Both of Well, my dad just wanted me to be wanted He just wanted me to finish college and apply myself. My mom wanted me to be a doctor. So they're not necessarily like this. They They can kind of join, but then I'd be end up being some sort of doctor. I would sound like a boring like a mu- boring ████ Do you think you would have ever joined the Do you think you would have ever joined the military? No, because that was that was my way of trying to fix and get back on track. Like fix stuff. So, it'd be like Yeah, you would have never lost your I'd be I'd probably die in boot camp cuz I'm vegetarian.
10:14 I'd probably break or something. I'd my ████ eyeball would fall out. Common side effect of vegetarianism. Yeah, I just ████ lack in nutrients and ████ No B vitamins and That's pretty good though. I'd probably get sunburned easily. get to be a doctor. You get to be a You get to be a one-eyed doctor. That's pretty That's pretty sick. Did your guys' parents like have your life set out for you? Like like traditional Asian parents where it's like you go to this college and then you're going to follow this career path? Yeah, a little bit. Wow. Yeah, cuz my dad worked at the hospital he worked at and still works at. It's like all my uncles and like all of our cousins. It's like almost like he almost controls Who goes there? Yeah, he works there. So, you would have been a radio tech? I mean, a radiologist? tech, yeah. Through nepotism? Well, well, through I mean, that's kind of how most Filipinos
11:05 do it. Like as long as you can graduate and get all your stuff done, they can get you the job. Wow. Like no problem. Wow. Connects. Yeah, connects, yeah. It really is. It's It's like And then my dad was always telling me that every day. He's like, "You just got to finish. You don't have to get good grades. Just just complete it." Yeah. And we got a spot for you. Easy. He would always tell me that. It's like so easy. And he'd make me watch him at work. He's like, "Look, I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING." THAT'S HONESTLY TIED. LOOK, cuz all I do I just push buttons. That's it. Cuz growing up growing up when we were like dancing and everything, I would take all of my friends uh even some of the your guys like if they anyone got hurt, I would take them to my dad's spot and then they would all get free x-rays. The doctors would look at all their stuff like free. Just like totally hooked up. And every time I I leave, my dad's like, You see that? I
11:56 like that. He's like, "And we'll leave. I'm going to take a nap." I'll go take a nap. Yeah. And it wasn't just him. It's like all my cousins and uncles that work there, too. They're like, "Hey, you see that those holes in the wall?" He goes, "That's cuz we were messing around with the gurneys." He's like, "That's the kind of work we do out here." Cuz you really just push buttons. He's like, "You just got to There's like such a strict procedure in how you do everything and it's done in a flash." Like you got an x-ray. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's not It don't look like it's that hard, right? It takes literally like 5 minutes. Once they set you up, it's like 5 minutes. Like my like when they x-rayed my foot, it's like Exactly. That's it. And it's It's like at the time, I think that was only like a year and a half in school or something or like 2 years. Wow, damn. Mad quick. And then I remember asking him, too. I'm like, "Oh, what is that?" He goes, "Oh, you got to talk to radiologist." So, you know like it's like a media Whatever their job is Exactly. they just go and talk to someone else now. They just do the machine and then when the thing comes
12:47 out, they don't have to do nothing else. Yeah, no. The doctor comes in and goes, "Okay, you see here? That's why your bone's all ████ up." And then my dad just And he just bounces. Take some picture and buff again. Yeah, every time. Or he'll like mess around and like tell you a bad diagnosis and then just as a joke. I love how your dad already had it in his mind that you were lazy, so he was trying to pitch it to you as to like monetize it. There's no work here. It's easy. Yeah, yeah, always. Especially because like so in this particular hospital, it's in East LA, so it's like a very Mexican area. And then the reason why my dad will never retire White Memorial? No. It's It's a different one, but then So, there's It's him, all these other Filipino people we're related to, and then a bunch of cholos. And then those cholos love my dad because my dad was able to get them their jobs.
13:37 Like they came in like looking for work and then he told me exactly what to do, helped them cheat on the test, whatever. We don't want people working at the hospital that cheat. So, every time I go there to visit, all these cholo guys are like, "Hey, your dad's the truth." Always like complimenting and like I don't I think my dad is a I always take a NAP WITH HIM. I DON'T SEE MY DAD GET THAT KIND OF treatment anywhere. So, that's why he's like My dad's almost like 80 and he's like, "I'm not retiring." Wow. That's all. He's a hero. Yeah, he just he wants to die in the hospital. He loves it. He wants to die in the x-ray. Yeah, I would just be doing that exact track. That's cool. Probably have a house at 21 and ████ Would you have been unhappy with on that track or No, I don't think I'd be
14:27 unhappy. I wouldn't know what I'm missing, but I think like I would forever be a consumer of all the things I ended up doing in this life. You would have been watching alt universe Ryan dancing and watching happily love that. I would have happily supported all the Filipino dancers and musicians. I would have not known that. What made you not go on that track? It just didn't seem as cool. That's it. Oh, you know what it is? Because there was a freaking pageant that I had to like escort one of my friends at. It was like a Filipino pageant thing. And usually you have to They need like a guy to like escort her when she goes to get her thing. It's so weird. But then they were like, "Oh, you have to have a bio for yourself." The first time I had to write a bio. And I think I was like 17. And then it said in the bio, it's like, "What do you want to be when you What are you going to be when you grow up or whatever?" I was like, "Oh, damn, I got to like think of that." So, then I wrote that I was going to be in radiology rad tech and
15:19 everything. And when I heard it said out loud on the thing when I was standing up there, I was like, "That doesn't sound cool." That bio changed your life. And that's why break dancer. Yeah, cuz it says like, "And Ryan is going to be radiologist like his father." And I was like sound right. I went Nice. That's not I don't think that's right. That doesn't sound right. Yeah, it's just that simple, I guess. What about you, man? No martial arts? No, I think you know what's funny is I hearing how your parent hearing how you guys grew up with your parents, I think my parents definitely took a different approach. By the time I was born cuz I was 6 and 7 years apart, they were just kind of like, "Let's just make sure this dude can read and just get through school, you know?" Cuz I I kind of was I don't want to say I was troubled, but like I was definitely on a different track than
16:10 the rest of my sisters, you know? So, I think like there was main things that my dad just told me growing up. He would just be like, "Just whatever you do, just work hard at it. Just be good at it." Like that was the only thing he would say. But then like if I were to listen to my dad when my dad started like day trading and stuff, he would be like, "You just got to learn how to do this. And by the time you're my age, you're going to be ████ a millionaire and all that." But I would always hear my mom talk about it and be like, "Your dad's ████ losing money on it." I don't know what was true, right? Like I have no idea. So, I would hear that ████ and be like, "Well, I'm not doing that. Like that sounds ████ awful, right?" And I think with my dad as when he got older, cuz he was a sound editor, he would do different jobs cuz I think he was sick of sound editing. That was worked on like some of the most major films like Yeah, and he had a crazy resume. But
17:00 then he started doing other gigs. And I remember at the time my mom would always complain about it. Be like, "Oh, your dad doesn't He has a family. He wants to do all this other s███." Yeah, exactly. That kind of ████ right? So, I'd be like, "Okay." In my head, "I better do something that I want to do, otherwise I'm going to end up like this fool doing like all these other different ████ jobs." So, I was like, "F███ it." Yeah, so I was like, "All right, I'm going to just have to do what I like and then I'll figure out the rest from there." So, it kind of wasn't like it was just I just went for it, you know? But I didn't really have any pressure of like you need to be a doctor or you need to be this. So, I think in that way my experience is kind of unique. That's why I was like I just kind of followed what I liked and then I just kept it there. And they didn't really have a problem with it. They were just If they did, they wouldn't tell me. They would just like kind of maybe talk ████ behind my back. They'd be like, "Yeah, I guess he's ████ doing this
17:51 MMA ████ or whatever." And then yeah, so it just kind of It worked out. They just let me do whatever, you know? We'll see how it turns out though. We'll see if it was a good idea or not. We'll see. We still don't know. Story's still being written. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. But you didn't have the whole you must be a pharmacist. My parent My parents would also say, "Just don't work for any Chinese people." They said. I was like, "Cool, thank you." How do you avoid that though? I don't know. I don't know. You might be and you don't even know it. Chinese guy right here, dude. Wait, you're not my employer. Did both of you guys do exactly what your parents wanted for you? You do. Uh I'd probably be a tennis player. A tennis player? Yeah, my dad is really into sports. good at tennis? Uh No. Oh, your dad just was into tennis
18:41 for you? he even taught me like Oh, yeah, that's true. He was your coach for a Yeah, he he teaches like all the kids in my Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wanted us like one of his girl like he wanted the tennis to teach a tennis player, but then he had three girls. And then taught the first one First one played like more competitively. And I got into volleyball. Hey, that's still cool. Yeah. Yeah, it's fun. Yeah. And so he like I guess yeah, he's really he's really athletic. So, he kind of trained all of us, but no one None of us got into Was your dad not into volleyball? Uh no. He didn't teach you how to pancake? Oh. Yeah. Um so, yeah, I probably would have been a tennis player. But it's not He's not so much like oh, you I mean, he also focuses on like oh, you got to make money or like careful with your job or like So, you got to win. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to be grateful, you know? Oh,
19:31 yeah. That's nice. Mhm. But and my mom like she's Brazilian, so she's pretty like chill. And she's not too much like telling me what to Is that the thing? Brazilians are known to be chill? I don't I just don't remember my mom telling me like what I have to be. How cool. Yeah, I like more I guess more not so Asian. That's That's what I'm like. She told you not to be so Asian? No, no, no. be like a farmer. That sounds so stress-free. Yeah. So like no one like telling you to do this. Yeah. Yeah, damn. guess yeah, I didn't They just like love you and like leave you alone? Like wow. That's so cool. Your dad just kept serving you every morning just come on in the back, in the back. CALL THAT A BACKHAND. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN TALK about your feelings with your parents? For real. What about you? Would you have done
20:22 anything differently? Well, my parents like had really low expectations. That's awesome. Same, same, same. It's like you know, I would come home like with a with a black eye so they were like what did you do? You know, it's not like who did that type of thing. You know, a racist ████ like beat me up in the club for no reason. But like yeah, stuff like that. But yeah, like what what my mom said she's like you should be in IT because like you know, I fixed the Wi-Fi once for her. She's like oh, you're good at that. So you can't ████ that up, right? I said it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like a translator cuz I know Cantonese. the Wi-Fi code. So imagine I was like a translator. That's so hard. Yeah, that's very hard. know like you know, like very official words and stuff. That's pretty common actually. I think I've sometimes I've heard from people like oh, you should be a translator cuz you know English Cantonese. Oh, I guess
21:12 yeah, that sounds like a typical thing. Yeah. Art was a translator. Yeah, and in Macau right you got to like I guess the fastest way to get a white card would be to get married. I have a I had a gay best friend at that time and my mom just get married to Cholo. His name is Cholo. Just get married to Cholo. And I'm like stop mom, you can't just do that. She's not kidding. She That's not a joke. She really is like do it. Yeah, and then like even even like my my friend's mom is like yeah, why not? Just just do it. But but like you know, like I'm like no, I'm not going to do that mom. And even Cholo is like I want to marry for love. They didn't BOTHER ASKING HIM. AND SO IT'S LIKE okay and then I wonder if I actually pursued that it would be like Oh, interesting. You know, I'd be like in Macau. Can you imagine convincing
22:03 Cholo? Like come on, just do it. Don't be so gay, come on. DON'T BE SO GAY. COME ON, STRAIGHT UP. THAT WOULD BE SO WEIRD. I WOULD BE LIVING IN Macau and then it would be like you know, um I want to marry for love. Does her husband know about Cholo? She doesn't know about Cholo. Just just the just the idea of living in Macau like now. Is that like a I don't know, I want I need to get away from there. Or is that how you are with it? Yeah, like back then I thought I was going to live in Macau forever. I was like not a good thought. That's like a bad for you? Back then it was okay cuz that was my home and I had a clubbing job at time. But then when the club like shut down and I had the dispatcher job then I was like I don't want to be Cuz I went to the HR and I'm like can I can I transfer to another department and they're like you're lucky you're not
22:53 cleaning. Also cuz there's not a lot of different work industries. It's either you work in casinos or hospitality. Right. There's it's very limited. They don't hire you for school jobs Filipinos. And there's like this rule you have to hire like a certain amount of locals like white card holders. One white card holder equals to There's a quota for how weird. So if one like local left like they would fire three. Woah. It's a huge corporation so That's crazy. You'll see like people like with boxes like just leaving out like one day. Oh. She's the director. What? Yeah, but she's from China so she had to leave and I was like damn. And it's like no questions asked. We talk about that all the time like it's crazy. There's so many different opportunities here that we could never imagine and like just as kids growing up
23:43 in this small place called Macau and now we're in LA. god, even makeup they don't go past like this shade. Oh yeah, no we have no curly hair products. Have you seen that Band-Aids coming all colors here? I know. I WAS LIKE WHAT? AND ON THE NEXT EPISODE LIKE leggings also like different colors. And on the next episode we talk about how great America is again.
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