0:01 Okay, so I know we've been talking about like people kind of getting married more late in general and blaming like dating apps and stuff like that. I think for Asian dudes who are marrying late, I don't I don't think it's apps. I don't know any dude who's marrying late as an Asian. It's apps. Everybody's trying to get straight before they get married >> cuz it's ouring parents' fault. I think >> yeah, it's this weird expectation of this concept of finishing some version of your career, your money or something and then you can present yourself. Yep. I think that's why a lot of Asians today, men, are getting married more late because it's just harder to get to some version of final expectation. Oh. To whatever your parents visualize or even you yourself now, I guess >> but if you don't have together too, their family won't accept you. >> Exactly. >> They'll be like, you ain't got a house. What kind of you're still not a doctor yet? What the
0:51 >> It takes so long to get your ████ together now. >> It's triple whammy, right? It's it's like all the crazy like standards that your parents set or expectations that you have to do your own [clears throat] personal ones so that you don't repeat the same ████ that your parents did. Like if they were like broke or whatever and they're stressed out, beat the ████ out of you. And then also earning the respect of the in-laws. So I think yeah, for sure I I I could see that happening. I had we I have a Kra homie who literally and obviously when you expressly say it's like, oh, you know, you meet some fab Korean parents. Oh, what do you do? Oh, you know, I'm a dancer. THEY GO, "OH, HELL NO, MOTHERFUCKER." >> AND THEN IT'S like quiet conversation for the rest of the meal. And then the guy leaves the room type ████ later on or the night's over. And then tears later on a phone call because she's been convinced TO BREAK UP. >> OH. >> OH, YIKES.
1:41 >> And I'm talking I'm not talking high school style. I'm talking like grown like you're 37 years old style >> cuz they still got a huge hand in your life. >> Well, do kids just dudes really just say they're dancers? Can you stop turning it around? >> So dumb. But obviously >> they need a lie. >> Obviously. >> Entertainer. Say entertainer. >> The top dance company in existence. So it's a bad pitch. >> Oh yeah, you got to set up. >> Like that's not that's I'm a dancer. I'm paraphrasing. I'm paraphrasing. >> Number two, though. >> Like they're just trying to nuke themselves at that point. No one. >> But what if they said like, "Oh, I'm a creative director." Is it just anything in the artsy realm? It's >> an artsy inconsistency. I think it's like a oh >> gig based. Yeah. >> You're not even me telling my parents, you know what I mean? like uh until they saw me on TV and their friends were hitting up my mom being like, "Wow, that's amazing. Amazing." That's the first time she was like, "Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that yeah, that's my son." Yeah.
2:32 >> Cuz now when she tells her friends, it's not that Anony's a dancer. Anony's on TV. >> Well, yeah. Or Anony's co-founding Kinjas. That's why if you're in Kinjas, you don't say you're a dancer. You say, "I'm part of the Kes." And if a parent goes, "What's that?" You go, "You don't know what that is, ████ dumbass." >> But what the ████ You know, you know what's weird though is [laughter] um I find it kind of weird though >> that like a lot of this stuff we don't have to follow but it also becomes just automatically followed even though we westernize. >> What do you mean? >> So like a lot of these unspoken rules amongst Asians and it's crazy cuz it doesn't matter if you're Japanese all the way to like even Indians, right? where you Americanize, you start speaking the language, but by default, we don't go Dutch. By default, I'm expecting to just buy and take care of,
3:23 you know, the in-laws, all that. And then there's going to be a stage where like I've been taken care of, so I'm going to take care of them. And I know all cultures do this, but for us, it's like this obligation to the point where like you don't even question it. You know what I mean? It's kind of like fighting for the bill. like we don't have to do that anymore. You know what I mean? Like it's like but it's ingrained in us to do it. >> Is it is it simply ingrained or like is it also be has it become your preference? Like would you >> I don't know anything else >> the same because you think that's dope. >> I think the system works. So for example like we have the lowest divorce rates in America. Asian-Americans Asian-Americans have the very like the very lowest divorce rates. very successful, unhappy marriages. Even in mixed marriages where a partner is with a Asian, they have the lowest divorce rates.
4:13 >> And the highest is lesbians. Don't be a lesbian. >> Don't be a lesbian. >> Don't be a lesbian. But I bet if it was lesbian Asians, it's probably the lowest divorce rates >> of the lesbians. >> I heard a I heard a a correction about that fact, actually. >> Really? >> Don't be a lesbian. >> I thought it was interesting. Somebody told me the lesbian thing is not true. >> Correct us. Correct us, please. >> That cuz Big Lesbbo is trying to put up propaganda. [laughter] said that the survey that that's based on sorry didn't mean to laugh. The the survey that it's based on apparently is lesbian people reporting that they've had uh domestic abuse or divorces prior to their lesbianism. >> Oh, like it's overall it's like >> Oh, >> if you've had a divorce, most lesbians have had a divorce >> cuz they like >> from a man. >> I see. >> Yeah. which I think that factored into
5:03 the total. >> Oh, >> or they've had domestic abuse from a previous male partner and that factored in the total. I don't know if that's true, but I I said that cuz we've been saying that for years and someone was like [snorts] >> actually [laughter] true. >> So, I don't know, but it was interesting. >> So, you're that guy right now, Mr. Mayor. >> I thought it was interesting. [laughter] >> That is an interesting fact. >> I don't want to say wrong ████ Yeah, I don't want to say wrong ████ >> but yeah. I thought it was >> You're still going to do it, right? >> Yeah. [snorts] So, so you're saying with that fact, lesbians mainly get divorced? [laughter] >> Yeah, it it's factored in in total, I guess. But then, uh, here's a question for you, though. If you, as a dad, having grown up as a dancer, if your daughter was to bring home a guy who said he's a dancer, do you have more of a feeling of like, oh, no. Because you understand? I'd be like, that's your pitch. You're a dancer. You're not even going to say you're part of the best
5:53 crew in the world. >> [laughter] >> It is objectively >> he's trying to be humble. He's trying to be humble. >> It's objectively a bad pitch to say you're just >> sure. Yeah, that's what I think too. But like because you know what that means cuz you know like I'm sure her parents don't know what that means and their knowledge of what it means to be a dancer is so like low and all of it's bad. But you knowing all the spectrum of it, are you more tolerant about that? >> Tolerant is a good word. >> Okay. >> Yeah. But it's not that there's no version of me that gets like all giddy and excited because we're relatable now. Well, you're not going to immediately be like, "Oh, don't date him." >> Like, I would rather like um this guy's like a u an AI tech startup guy, which is also the same version of like good luck buddy, you know? >> That's true. Yeah. >> But that sounds tight. >> But but I feel like >> he sounds smarter though. Now it's not like an athleticism uh uh period of
6:43 where you are going to be in a prime and have to do a version of a hustle and then afterwards unless you are very intelligent and knew how to be successful enough to invest your money you know it's not like that >> it's like saying I'm a professor not a teacher. >> Sure. Sure. >> Yeah. Hell yeah. >> True. >> And at least in my mind at that point it's kind of like okay cool like 50 years from now you can still at least try to do this you know versus like oh well you better kill it now >> right? That's true. high enough and then afterward is what? My daughter's got to take care of you with her stable profession. That's the reality, right? >> Yeah, that is reality. >> I think that is the thing that they're basically pointing out is that do you want to struggle? Cuz if you marry a successful dude, you'll struggle in different ways, but at least you don't have to take care of this loser cuz that's what ends up happening, right? >> That's the gamble, right? What's crazy though on the flip side, like this is like all these crazy Asian expectations
7:34 and standards we put on ourselves in Gio's family side, some ████ don't even have a license and they're like popping out kids and ████ I'm like, ████ you don't even got to you don't even drive and you can get married. I'm like, that's ████ crazy. >> What the heck? >> You don't even ████ can get pregnant, dude. They're just going to a jacuzzi. [laughter] >> They get in a jacuzzi with a guy and they're pregnant. >> Yeah. Like the way that they're like, >> what's the logic behind that? Like what do they why don't they have a driver's license? just like get horny and ████ and then there's just not all these other >> beyond not having a driver's license. They get horny. They get they just ████ [laughter] >> Like is there a reason like what do they say about that? >> The license they just I think they just Yeah. And they just got comfortable with it and then now they just I don't need to. Someone's going to give me a ride or I'll find a ride. >> What the hell? >> But it's Yeah, it's crazy. >> Car so there's no logic to it.
8:24 >> No, but they could afford a car but they just don't have a need to drive. somehow >> weird. But I mean like marriage [snorts] and family building is is hella different in so many other cultures. Like like they'll just they don't even think about um sticking around like a lot of parents, right? They're just like, "Well, >> it's like a girl's job." So then they like they don't the logistics of it, right? I'm like, "Okay, how are how are you going to take our kids to sports if you can't drive a minivan?" But then for them, they just it's like they just wing it all the way and then figure it out later. But for them, like they just get a soccer ball and throw it in the backyard and the kids play in the back. >> That too. Yeah. >> Yeah. Honestly, yeah. >> Some people the game is the welfare game. So it's like the more kids they have the more money they get paid. >> That's true. [snorts] >> So I don't know. Like it's just if but if your mind doesn't think that way cuz it's like I'm not going to ever rely on
9:14 the state >> then you got to you're going to marry later cuz you're going to like I want to build my wealth first. >> Yeah. >> That trips me though. >> Or marry never. >> That's true. Depending on the depending on your welfare situation. >> Some people got five kids and they're not ever married because it takes away their marriage. >> Some people Some people only get married in the temple and not on paper. [snorts] >> Oh yeah, for sure. >> Oh yeah. [laughter] >> Oh yeah. I I know some groups that do that [laughter] >> and they're Asian, too. I also know a bunch of dudes that are like, you know, they're they've been with their chick for like six plus years. And when you talk to them, they're like, "You guys are gonna get married?" Absolutely. It's like, "What are you waiting for?" It's like, "Oh, you know, I gota like buy the ring or something like that." And that just the idea of the I don't know, I guess the culture, if you will, of like
10:05 it's like, "Oh, I know I'm going to marry this person, but I can't get because I got to like save up to buy this ring to, you know, to do this thing." Like the it just seems so this concept of needing to be ready enough in certain ways. like every step of the way. It makes it so difficult to just be like, "Actually, how about we're just in love? Let's just do this ████ because it makes sense or blah blah blah." Right. There's There's so much of a right way to do stuff. That's anti-Asian, though. To just do it spontaneously. >> Yeah. That's what I mean. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's That's anti-Asian. Asian is like, "Plan it all out so it's perfect and then you pull the trigger at the end." >> Yeah. >> Versus just like, "Dude, >> Unless you're at a casino." >> Yeah. >> That's [laughter] where Asians go out of control. >> That's true. They save every ████ penny and then they they can't control themselves at the casino. >> There's also a lot less pressure to get married nowadays. It feels like like I feel like that. Yeah. I don't think there's as much pressure on on the
10:55 generations to like get married. >> Dude, I feel like my buddy Mike, he took 10 years, by the way. White. He's white. He He didn't even propose for 10 ████ years with this chick. >> Why not? What was his uh excuse? >> Everything you're talking about just not It hasn't lined up yet. I want to accomplish a certain amount of things. All that kind of ████ right? And then I think honestly he finally proposed because he got tired of us all just busting his ████ balls. Like [laughter] >> you guys bullied him into >> all the time. I mean we're like when what are you waiting for, dude? Like your chick's banging. Like like you guys are great together. Like what are you waiting for, dude? Like all the time. He finally just was like fine, ████ it. >> Me and Jio were together for seven years and it felt uh it felt longer cuz that's what my dad would say. like what are you guys waiting for? But I think for me I was like I'm trying not to repeat what you and mom did cuz they got divorced
11:46 when I was six. >> So I was like >> did you say that? >> No. I'm thinking that in my head. In my head I'm like you >> what a sick comeback though. >> Oh my god. >> I was I was thinking like well like if you guys didn't even know you're the right match until like 6 years later. I better like add a couple years. >> Yeah. I feel like it's so easy to checkmate your dad with that ████ [laughter] >> Like what are you guys waiting for? What are you giving marriage advice for? Like >> what is supposed to be the like right age? Like what was it? Because is isn't is it in your 20s or something? >> So I always thought I'd get married when I was 20. >> I thought 20s was the correct age before. Yeah. >> Perspective of like the perfect American like dream and who does a really good job of it in my opinion are Mormons. >> Yeah. >> ████ together. By the time they're 25, they already have like three kids. They're already like they own a house somehow. They have like the profession. They have investments, a business, all
12:36 kinds of stuff. Yeah. >> Mormon family I meet, it's like two young a young couple with hella kids and their ████ just set >> and the guy's gay. >> I know. [laughter] >> They do come out like that though. >> They do. >> Yeah. Smoking hot wife and a gay husband >> and he's and he's ████ his ballroom teacher and there's a guy >> but they look like they have their ████ set somehow. So I don't know what they're doing but that's my image of like the American >> image wise. Absolutely. I agree. Yeah. Mormons are killing. >> So they they got the they they they have the traditional staff is what you're saying. Like that's what you that's what people try to that's what people think you're supposed to do, right? If I look at like you know when you're like when you draw a straight line of success >> and how far off I veered I my straight line is the the Mormon. I'm like oh that >> growing up in LA though that was just
13:26 like on TV. I don't think there was ever an example of what's supposed to >> Yeah. Until I came here. Until I came here. Jewish line relative to the Mormon line. >> Dude, that's that's not even We can't even talk about that. >> Talk about that. >> But dude, I agree though because Mormons, they're definitely like uh they're so localized that they have their own societal pressure that's different from pop culture. >> You know what I mean? Like whereas like in pop, people are like, "Uh, we'll focus on your career or make sure it's the right person." They don't have that kind of ████ It's just their own people, their own church. The things they see within arms reach are like, "Oh, that's what we're supposed to do." >> That's true. They don't have mentors telling them to go play the field and ████ around like a million people and then know yourself and then get married and they only marry within too, right? So maybe when you have less options, it's pretty straightforward. >> Yeah, absolutely. >> All of this applies to Amish people as
14:16 well by the way. >> Yeah. >> Every single thing we've said except they can build their own ████ >> Like they build their own houses and ████ which is crazy. >> Yeah, it's crazy. >> We got to do I saw Amish I don't know if you guys saw I saw this Amish podcast of this chick and then this person brought up a computer and she was like talking and she's like wait what was that word you just said and and then and and she has her own weird weird accent kind of it's like a weird like old Englishy but not British sounding thing. He's like computer she's like what's a computer? It was crazy. >> What the ████ They really are like that. >> Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if it's real or not but that's what it like. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Is this like an improv sketch? >> Maybe she's a fake Amish. on a podcast that's going to be digitized and goes, "What's a computer?" She's not looking. She's not like just eating the microphone, too. Then >> Amish as ████ though. It could be like soft white underbelly where they just bring someone in,
15:06 >> are they not? >> I don't know. >> Yeah, cuz they go to town. They have >> supplies some other planes. They don't throwing spears at them >> cuz they they go to stores and buy ████ and bring it back to the to the village. >> I don't know. >> I heard they got really good buffets. >> No, no, no. Everybody, the society around Amish societies, they know. Don't bother them. Don't show them any fast forward tech, you know. Let them let him be.
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