0:00 We always talk about how uh maybe dudes have it better than chicks. Yep. >> But do chicks actually have it better than men if you really think about it? >> Yep. >> I don't think so, man. >> You don't think so? >> I think guys got it better, dude. >> Tell us, Joe. >> I think it be kind of nice to just sit home and I don't know, pop out babies and play with them. >> Have a guy who's like, "Hey, it's >> an interesting take. [laughter] Damn. >> Hey, whatever you want to do, baby. I I got your back, but like I just need you to stay home and kick it." and like cleaning and cooking and that s███'s fun. >> For those of you who are new, we are a satire channel. >> Excuse me. What the ████ does satire mean? >> Could you maybe give some context for people? >> I don't know. I just been reading these days that >> Mhm. >> guys that are like, "Yo, I finally tried being a stay-at-home dad for like a week cuz my wife went on vacation." He goes, "I had a blast. I didn't do s███." Goes
0:51 these lick. He's just all I had to do is I had the kids done like like ready for bed by this time. time and he goes, "I ████ barbecued, cooked, whatever, cleaned, and then he goes like, I don't know what the hell my wife's doing all day." >> Have you seen the meme of like um you know how usually, it's so funny, you see you see like a fence and it's usually you're supposed to put the kid inside the four square walls, but then you see the the dad in there Indian style and he's playing a video game. >> Oh, I didn't see I didn't see that. I never seen it. >> So good. Such a hoot and a hole. >> Is that the new American dream? >> Yeah, I think so. I mean, you would know better than any of us. Have you been around where Nina had to take like a little time off? What What's easier for you to do? To be to be stay-at-home dad or or out working? >> Remember, she's watching for two more minutes. >> Jesus. >> Um, without getting too serious too fast,
1:42 let me let me try and re But this video no because because I think it's different. Number one, I'm going to speak only from the lens of an American. I don't want to get too serious too fast. We'll get we'll grow into the world. As an American, if you're born as a hot American girl, I think it's a conversation. >> That's where the blurry line actually is. >> And rich. >> You got there early. >> No, I think you could just be a hot American girl. Even if you're not rich and it's a conversation. >> Imagine you're you got big natties by the time you're like 17. >> Your life is set. But if you're peasant, you're working and doing the mom ████ >> If you're if you got big nannies by the time you're 17, you're a hot American girl. Let's just go with even >> Can you pick a legal age? >> Okay. 18. 18. 18. Not even >> satire. So good.
2:32 >> Not even smoking hot. >> 16. North Dakota. >> Okay. Not Not even smoking hot. Let's go. Yeah. So, South Dakota. Let's say we go with uh above average girl. Like the hawk to a girl. >> Okay. Dang it. >> Right. it. All you have to do, you don't have to do ████ Just make the right decisions and your life is going to be set up. >> All you have to do is make >> You don't have to do anything. You don't have to start a business. You don't have to go ████ like invest in the S&P 5. You don't have to do anything, right? And guys come to you. Guys come to you and you just have to say yes and no, like zeros and ones to the right things. >> And listen to this guy cuz >> you don't have to do ████ >> Don't start a s███████. That's what he's saying. >> You don't have to do jack ████ You don't have to go to the firefighters academy and ████ try to put out a fire. You don't have to try to become a Navy Seal. >> You know what? You do have to get good at >> ████ >> You have to get good at dressing and
3:23 makeup >> cuz that's what makes them hot >> and taking it. >> And you got 18 years of experience doing that. You just got to say yes or no to the right things. So when you get with the alcoholic, you ████ up. You get with the bad boy with the motorcycle, you ████ up. You get with the guy that broke your heart and then you found out he was cheating on you like a million times. You ████ up. >> You got to get with an Indian software engineer. >> I don't know if that's going to turn her on. [laughter] >> It doesn't matter. >> Just as chicks have it better than men. >> Or you could just find the Tom Brady looking dude that is got his ████ >> unlocked. So think about it like this, right? You're one of those little toys in that the ████ arcade game with the grabber claw. Okay. and like any minute a Tom Brady looking ████ And we're not even talking Tom Brady. Let's just go like way lower on the roster of
4:15 people, okay? >> Some guy who just got drafted in the NFL, the hand comes down and grabs your ████ head and maybe, just maybe, it doesn't ████ go like that, right? Because it could actually pluck you from obscurity and turn you into some ████ rich ass Beverly Hills house ████ But you have to play your cards right. You can't be ████ launching ████ coins like Hawkuit is. And the thing is, you don't have to play him that well. Guys are willing to give everything to a hot chick. >> It's like it's biological. >> Yeah. >> It really is. So, I'm just saying it's a conversation. If you're in America, do you do you think do you think hot chicks got it better than hot guys? Cuz I think hot chicks got it better. >> Yeah. Cuz you don't got to do ████ Hot guys still got to go do something. Hot guys still get denied and they got to go do something. >> Yeah, but hot guys got to like go dance at Chip and Dales or something like that. >> No. Hot guys still got to be smart.
5:06 >> You could be hot girl and still be dumb and be okay. >> No, but hot guys. Let's be real. >> Wait, are you just talking about financial security? Is that all you're talking about? >> No. No. Just >> easy life. Easy life. >> Making it. Make it. >> If you're a hot guy and like David Geffin wants to ████ the ████ out of you, you're going to have it pretty nice. Except for when you're ████ David Geffin. You know what I'm saying? >> You're just going to be used like a Fifi bag. >> Yeah. Yeah. You'll be Fifi bag for sure. But I'm saying that that that is the the thing you missed in your argument. [gasps] >> I guess. I guess. But I don't think his life would be easier. >> No, it's not easier. Hot girl way easier. >> Hot girl easier. But you're still taking it if you think about it. >> They're both taking it. >> They're both taking it >> cuz that's where the value is at. >> If you're a hot guy, if all you want is a hot girl, you can get that. I think it's easy. If you want a successful life, >> that's You still got to earn it. >> You got to go do something. >> Or if you get really good at jigalowing,
5:56 you >> got to do [laughter] something. >> You got to get really good that you're doing something. You might do something you don't want to do, though. >> Yeah. >> I'm just saying. Whereas a hot girl can, even though she got to give it up and take it, might still want to give it up and take it for that guy. >> She She could do that. >> Yeah, she's getting equal enjoyment out of giving up and taking it >> if she does it right. If she does right, >> it's just a conversation. That's all I'm saying, Ryan. It's just a conversation. >> Okay. Okay. I think >> Don't marry out on me too fast. I'm just Oh, I'm not >> Okay, now you guys can marry. I did it my >> I think you guys are marrying out. >> Wait, why are we marrying? >> I think having it better than men. >> I think you guys are mar I think you guys are all marrying out. >> Really? Yeah, cuz I think that's what girls you're in favor of women. >> No, no, no. I'm in favor of only the hot one in America. >> I think guys have it Asia because guys can get along with each other better. >> Oh, >> cuz when you when you take when you take that like situation where they separated men and women on that island and they
6:47 have to survive. The guys get along and you know that's true. All guys get along so ████ easy. >> But then when it's women with women, it's so ████ impossible, dude. >> Yeah, but you're not living in an only women's world in this hypothetical. Well, do you think for a woman to want happiness, she just wants to be around only a man? >> Wow, Ryan. >> I don't think that's like easy life. What is a >> But then that's an easy life from a man's point of view to a woman's life. I don't think women think that's >> okay. Mayor, >> wait. That's mayorship. >> I think that's like that's like if we're writing a porno or something. >> Obviously, we're not women. >> Have you ever Have you ever met [clears throat] the b███████ woman you've ever seen? SHE'S STILL GOT 10,000 GUYS WANTING HER. >> Met her. I married her. That's all I got. And then and then someone gives her like ████ Chanel sunglasses and her ████ life flips
7:37 upside down. That's all it takes. [laughter] >> Chanel sunglasses. >> Yeah. Like they don't got to do anything is what I'm saying. >> But I think like if you if you know women then you know that you can do and provide A through Z yet there's still room to complain. >> That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. It's on the woman. And that's why it's easy cuz they just have to say yes or no to the right things including internal emotions. >> Okay? >> Like don't entertain that stupid thought, you stupid woman. [laughter] >> But then you're not a girl, so you don't know how easy that might just not that's impossible. >> That's impossible. That's impossible. >> I think when it comes to climbing like some sort of ladder, then that makes sense. But if you just talk about base happiness, like your existent state, your default state, >> I think guys have it way easier. Dude, you're flipped the script on me. If you're base happiness, guys, it's true.
8:28 [laughter] Cuz a homeless man happiness, >> a homeless dude could just fentinyl jack off. I'm ████ set today, bro. >> Like, you know what I mean? Like the boneheadedness that we can achieve and just be happy with ourselves. But then women need all this like stuff in order to like and they have to be doing like you said doing things. They got to be like we can just be happy being vegetables. Cuz a girl's like, "Oh, if they're not above 6 feet." For us, it could be 411 to 65. We don't give a ████ What the hell? I think we have it easier. [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Like if they just suddenly appeared, you just dropped onto the planet. I think guys just >> We could go to the lake and skip rocks for like a couple hours and that'll be a sick ass time. [laughter] >> We could just pee anywhere >> as boys. We'll probably high five each other the whole time, too. >> That's what I'm saying. It'll be so fun. >> Or just be alone and like stare at
9:19 things. The amount of times on a road trip back from like Vegas or LA where it's like pull over just pissed cuz it's an emergency only the guy care. >> Sick, dude. Y >> dude, imagine chicks skipping rocks for a day. I think they would come back home be like I think this ████ ████ thinks I can't skip rocks very good. [laughter] >> Meanwhile, we're like, "Dude, Joe got like seven skips and I had six. I couldn't ████ beat him." >> Joe could send a rock to space if it had water in the way. Dude, that's why I believe the more tea you have, the more happier you are. Cuz you know like when you end up with too much estrogen, you get girly and you start to complain and you start to be like nitpicky about everything. >> Yeah, I see. >> Guys do have it easier in their own mind. >> Baseline. Baseline. Yes, >> baseline. But societywise, different story. >> Our expectations are like, I can't believe I got to go skip rocks today with the boys, >> bro. Sick ass day,
10:09 >> right? And then for chicks, we're like, that's it. >> That's all we did. What did you guys talk about? >> We didn't talk. What the ████ I would find infinite ways to skip rocks that day. >> That's the other meme, too, is that like guys will go golfing and then visitors are like, "Hey, isn't he going through a divorce? What do you how's it going?" And then the guy's like, "I don't know. >> I don't know." >> I'm like, "We're going golfing so he could get his ████ mind off of it." Like, >> we're not trying to >> We're not there [clears throat] to remind him. >> We don't talk about it. >> And we scheduled this ████ 3 months ago. He wasn't divorced then, so I don't want to hear about that ████ >> And honestly, it's like, dude, like, sorry about the divorce. Yes. Cool, man. Hey, is that a new driver? >> Like, >> yeah. >> You know what I mean? Like what the ████ are we actually going to talk about? >> In in the guy in the girls's brain, they have it hard. >> It's a ████ Rubik's cube in there. >> Dude, that's why you're a business owner. >> That's the statement. >> Bars winning in the video. Say it.
10:59 >> That's crazy. Even society, they'll they'll I'm sure they think that. >> Not in America, you have to be born a woman somewhere. Where are you choosing? >> Oh, bro. But see, the thing is, if you're rolling the dice for real, >> Miami. >> Not in America. >> Oh, not in America. [cough] >> Not in America. I think you got to be a guy. No, you have to Poland. Poland. >> Oh. Oh, you I have to choose. >> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] >> Philippines. >> I want to go to Poland, dude. >> Poland. >> You want to go? >> Why? Why Poland? It's cold, man. >> Cuz it's nice for women there. It's a very low sexual assault rate. >> They don't ████ around. Yeah. They don't ████ around. Sweden. >> They have like record numbers of like low sexual assault. >> When you're a woman, then Poland. Yeah. [laughter] >> In Sweden, the babies are born 8.5s out of 10, dude. If you're a chick. >> Yeah, but you Sweden's having 8.5. I mean, they grow up to be gorgeous, brother. >> But then isn't that bad for you? Cuz then the the average is like too high.
11:50 But then you just move a little bit. >> Yeah, you just move. >> Just go to America and then you become the hottest thing in town. >> Wait, why Philippines? >> I thought the Filipinos have a lot of fun. But don't they get sold off? Chances are you're going to get sold off. >> They do have a lot of fun, but chances are you be poor. >> I didn't know that. [laughter] >> Your currency is very devalued. >> Oh, no. And I also thought it was more like matriarchal in a way. That's what I heard. >> Yeah, but that's only because the husbands leave. >> Oh. >> Oh, man. There you go again. You just love doing that, huh? In the Philippines. You think they're they act like us here? >> Maybe, sir. Ma'am, sir. >> Maybe. Mom, sir. >> They probably do. [laughter] >> Look, if look, if it wasn't >> Filipino men are Kasanovas. You explained your dad yesterday. ████ Kasanova, dude. Get out of here. He just stuck around, lucky guy. >> If you're going to close an essay, you got to close strong with a strong argument. So, I'm going to say that if
12:40 if it wasn't easier to be a chick than a dude, then you wouldn't see so many ████ in the crowd at NBA games waiting to ████ marry their man or try to hook them in, get them preos and all that kind of ████ so they could live the life. And and I don't think that exists for dudes like in the same way. I don't think dudes can just be under a chick in stature and just get a [clears throat] get a shoots and ladders. You get a ladder right to the ████ top of the game quick. Yeah, we're not camping outside of whatever that school is called like Sacred Hearts or whatever. It's the one that like Parasultan, Lady Gaga, like all the rich made females go to in New York. Like guys aren't there trying to bag a chick from there. >> And like, yes, it exists in the median. People don't have to do that. But I'm talking about the quick climb, the the ladder. >> Guys that do that, they even have to do it for other guys. >> It's going to be David Geffin pumping
13:31 away. You're not going to be doing it for some chick. That's for damn sure. Which is why it's easier to be born a chick. >> No, but >> you [laughter] just wait. >> Yeah, but I agree. That's what I said. >> But that's what I said. But But that's what I said. >> Yeah. >> But that's what I said. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]
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