0:00 [Music] a stowaway gecko takes a 4 000 mile trip in the traveler's bra oh ████ four wait 4 000 miles how big are those titties are there photos in the journey yeah they deserve a video like can we watch this video here i'll give you i'll give you this i've been a pervert mike 4 000. dude that that gecko like oh that's a baby gecko dude unless the titty was this big hey those are some heavies for scale yeah scales perspective it's either a really really really small gecko or a huge jug some georgia tips dude yeah no question well describe georgia tips are you talking about the country or the state you've seen georgia women they're massive they're uh they're peaches dude thai moves slower around them when you say peaches uh-huh what do you mean by peaches oh you know
0:50 the kind that you uh you grab like this and then you you grab off the tree i understand i asked because i i was just i was randomly in this most disgusting thing i've ever heard it's weird when mike says it yo [Laughter] what is what is in everybody's mind here is the urban slang for peaches what does peaches mean ass cheeks that's a ████ i thought it was beautiful beautiful ass oh yeah maybe you feel like today's generation like younger people refer to it as like ass you think it's like a peach bottom i guess or something like that right it's a very feminine fruit i think it was originally based off of kundalini specifically though right oh yeah i think it was like very very much that's right about a juice eating peaches oh about the point because it's the act of eating right you're doing it right it's drier than that you gotta get one that's a little bit ripe because if you get it too fresh it's kind of crispy like an apple tree so
1:41 it's not really like eating a ████ a british woman unpacking her suitcase after a trip to barbados made a shocking discovery a gecko that stowed away four four thousand mile journey invasive species ass if that was australia she would have been in jail bro go to the jail i heard her down at tsa there was an air marshal you want to hand up the gecko's ass to see if there's anything in there what is this it's really good gekko do you think though that like one this gecko had to stay in the suitcase it was in the suitcase oh was it in the bra on the lady the whole time because that's what i was imagining he was gonna brought in the suitcase like at what moment did the woman find out in her you know like it was just chilling there for like yeah yeah that's the only reason i thought they were so big that's crazy that gekko didn't freeze to death if it's in the suitcase in the cargo area oh but she did she check it all right is it carry on i'm guessing it
2:32 would have to be checked because i mean if you carry on where did it come from tsa don't you think that do you think tsa would see it like a but if the get goes this small you might not see it no tsa comes out there dude they've run nuclear devices through tsa successfully news channels have really and warheads yeah bro wait where um where where where did the stowaway gecko come from barbados barbados i think that's where uh what's her name is from the uh the um i forgot her name she's a rap i'm not she's not a rapper she's a singer rihanna yeah yeah she's uh actually beyond a singer her a billionaire uh making money things from yeah cosmetics and lingerie and stuff like that that's very good isn't it funny how celebrities they make most of their money on products and other things and not really their entertainment career isn't that always
3:22 the case yeah that's pretty much always look at the cloon dude the cloon sold the tequila company for a ████ billion dollars yeah i think they use this alba dude she got the ████ things all of the honest stuff man that's her yeah imagine being that hot and that rich like ████ a dude i think uh they use their their like celebrity or their as pretty much just the marketing arm for whatever they're their own advertisement yeah like i think reese witherspoon just broke a billion too or something which has a production company jordan made way more not playing basketball on the shoes on shoes on dude his salary was a joke compared to what they are now right well i mean that was always way more now but even if like everything was relative even with the inflation like if they equated everything the equator says no no exactly that's why jordan was so smart too because he was like i'm doing my own ████ that's why he was like me ████ them kids and then shaq was like i'm gonna i'm
4:12 gonna just make it accessible and go to payless and everyone's like those are cheap shoes yeah it's so funny how that actually works right yeah i had no idea i'm gonna make shoes for the people and they're like nah i'd rather have jordans but he has stock in the general the insurance company auto insurance the general.com oh really oh yeah i've seen him in those games a lot of randomly wait i think he's he owns a lot of papa john's and yeah louisiana fried chicken he has a restaurant in a staple center i read he has a passive income of a hundred million a year just outside of his gigs his espn sports center stuff like just passive income from his investments dude imagine setting a goal being like okay now 200 next year what do you even give a ████ for it's already passive 100 million a year why would you ever show up on set for another commercial no wonder this guy's just buying people engagement rings have you guys seen that video no i need one
5:02 shaq yeah yeah shaq met some guy at a a jewelry store a diamond store and he bought him his his engagement ring did they buy a mama laptop or something probably if you had that kind of money you probably just buy people buying a mom a laptop very wholesome story buying a dude an engagement ring to give to his lover uh interesting story that's supposed to be from his pocket that's supposed to be anything but another big ass black dude buying you an engagement ring in the store do you think his fiance is going to like not want it as much but i want some more dude imagine telling her that you didn't buy the ring dude that clip is viral though like that but imagine going shaquille o'neal about this she doesn't know who the ████ that is because she's not a sports fan that's always the worst shaq is always tied to like that thing and every single time you like bone your wife she's thinking about shaq's dick
5:52 ████ oh ████ that's cool that's cool that's pretty cool she's like you want to get a shackaroni pizza and you're like no no check your own pizza papa john's baby yeah dude one dollar gets donated bro let's go that's for a good cause i'm looking up shaq's passive income oh i thought she was just yeah he's doing the general i see hot dude he's doing ████ tigers bomb dude what's that what's the car one that he's in or like the car commercial dude he's in commercials now being like yeah you know i got hemorrhoids and i'm like i didn't know that he's doing sears you know like this wasn't everything he could be like if it's hemorrhoids from me that s███'s massive dude he'll be the commercial saying i have headlines and then he'll be another commercial saying you know i've never had hemorrhoids what product is he selling at that one i
6:42 don't know he's crushing it but you know i never played basketball whatever you paid me to say bro he should have a for sale sign on his ████ forehead what a ████ g dude this guy's killing it what was the article about shaq was an early investor in google and apple and today owns 17 auntie anne's a krispy kreme franchise and a handful of restaurants gyms and car washes dude this one sounds like he's laundering money what i know he like pretzels that much you have 17 aunties of krispy kreme a handful of restaurants gyms and car washes that sounds funny dude auntie anza's fine that sounds like a mob boss guys right that's what i'm saying can you imagine him manage like he's going into krispy kreme and training his staff and ████ or he's the hr video he's telling people about sexual harassment
7:33 dude if he's in that car in that many commercials he might actually be in there yeah he's like we don't tolerate molestation here he does all the scenarios he acts at when you're flipping pretzels which business is this on krispy kreme krispy krispy creams man chakarona pizza when you get that rich though like and you own these things obviously you're not like operating um does he have a whole freaking he's very hands-on he's he's known to be very good i'm like oh i mean his commercials he's pretty hands-on but a lot of these guys they just own ████ and then i'm and i'm like how do you well to own ████ you got to have a team to own that ████ how do you even trust the team to own that ████ for you dude it's like well the only thing i got for you is i watched shark tank hella shark tank and yeah they got a ████ team he's like once you get
8:23 integrated with my team you'll see what happens we can make ████ happen and then how do but someone's got to pick and choose their team you know what i mean like so shaq still got to ████ watch the team leader and the and the managers dude and shaq wasn't even very good teammate either because him and kobe didn't really like each other yeah that's true he was supposed to pass it to kobe but he never wanted to no kobe says passing him that might be the ultimate diss you're like i would join your team bringing stream like kobe yeah but he won some championships without them right and one in miami with winningway oh okay but everybody wants a championship with dwyane wade everybody lebron i guess was on the team too oh yeah lebron jack is for sale he was a laker and a celtic yeah he was a lot of things he was like on like phoenix uh he was in cleveland as well or those are like die-hard rivals you know you don't usually bounce both sides like that unless you're rondo that's true rondo two won a championship both
9:13 and he's coming back he's on the lakers now yeah he's coming back right okay let's go shaq has a 400 million dollar net worth with about 60 million in salary uh according to even this year's poll uh and he's a joint owner of silver auntie hands over a hundred car washes and 40 24-hour fitness centers car washes i was watching a video where shaq was getting like i don't know a ████ pond installed in his yard i don't know why you're watching that it was ████ crazy i don't know it just came up i recommend it it's a weird ████ but yeah it's the craziest ████ yeah i've ever seen i don't know what yeah like a koi pond gigantic poncho his house is that big town ridge over into that tight and he's just like hey cool guy cool job on my pawn great video check it out shaq spawn look for jackpot that's tight don't watch the next jk video go watch shax pond first and then
10:03 watch the next check and then come back to the jk video afterwards [Applause] [Music]
// end of tape