0:00 [Music] bunch of wealthy homeowners are a little bit pissed off because there's a bunch of affordable housing being built nearby that happens all the time oh it ████ with their value what do you do what do you do bart quan take it away you're the wealthiest well no he's the wealthiest so you go first and then bark can go according to this yeah you're you're 19 million so go ahead so what do i do if they're building sections dirty dirty uh affordable housing people they're trying to build near you these nasty poor that's gonna ████ with your value like if you even lose like four percent on your house like that's gonna be ████ devastating did they get the contract from the city to build already yes so they're gonna start building i'll ████ buy those homes before they could the other people can damn that's expensive though think about it i
0:50 thought i was rich yeah but you're rich asset rich not cash rich yeah so i can't buy it so i so the only option is you carry it or you sabotage it karen how are you carrying a joe you create a petition against it and if enough people sign and then you enough people complain to the city hall they can't do it interesting that's the right way to do it ryan yeah you're the richest here according to celebrity net worth uh what can you to stop it from being built or to wow yeah ████ um salt the earth just make it uh make the land infertile so it's worthless holy ████ your vicious ████ doesn't that ████ up your land as well only i know that it's salted okay according to celebrity net worth
1:41 you're next up mine was uh i was just gonna save up like three months worth of ████ and then just ████ sprinkle it in the houses every now and then where would you store it some people were like what the ████ just people coming in there ████ in these guys ████ going on we made us a better abandon this project and i'm like that's right and then as soon as i hear them say that the next day double down on the amount of ████ that's in there anthony lee you're next up joe not so fast you're only worth five hundred thousand quarter slider network probably uh probably hire everybody that is going to move into that space and so they can afford more and then they have to move out to like nicer places spoken like a dancer there's a new wave of people that'll come in the place figured out what to really do what would it really do think of this okay all you got to do is say that that was a burial ground
2:31 poor people are superstitious that's awesome they won't want to live there only do believe in spirits that's really good that's why i'm poor no okay joe i guess we'll let you go but for time you got to make it quick [Laughter] be a normal human being and hire the mob the higher the mall hire the mob when you don't want things to happen and the city's not listening then you hire the mob to destroy their construction contract that's your time oh so you're just gonna muster that's gonna be my future house dude you can't be doing this ████ i'm gonna be living in those people on capitol hill that's your time thank you very much that's your time cut his microphone cut his microphone get him out of here get him out of here cut his ████ mic we got his net worth cut his mic so so what they do we let him bounce back in because he's worth 90 mil and he's like i just real
3:21 quick i had a different idea i also said oh yeah both viable as well yeah our sponsor wants to speak again go ahead no here's my third solution so officials in this enclave so this is like group of like 500 people they announced that all of woodside was exempt from a new state uh low-income housing law that allows for duplex development on single-family home lots because the entire town is habitat for potentially endangered mountain lions whoa okay they've already built out their places okay like you know they're already they're just and they're starting to grapple with the realization that like oh my god there's like endangered mountain lions here so we can't have new developments so you're going the eco route ████ with everything eco guilt so that's very effective knock all those homes down or you can't even know they're just going to stop anything new exactly so they're trying to to stop it from even breaking
4:12 ground i feel like hollywood hills did that same show if you had the info then this is what you do you go in there you kill all the mountain lions no problem yeah that's if you were poor yeah so if you're a poor you do that so then you can build you could get you could get one of the affordable housings in a rich neighborhood yeah if it's it's not endangered if it's not living yeah it's just extinct now what are they going to do yeah that's interesting i wouldn't kill them advocates are saying that the um the huge mansions that these people inhabit in the mountain lion endangered species zone is ironic because it's like well if that's true this is bad karma for the rich people because now the mountain lions are going to go into their homes and start but they're just saying no more homes right yeah they're like we already already ████ maxed it out that's what's up i feel like that's the same ████ in hollywood hills they're saying that the balance of nature to
5:04 home is now at a limit where we can't have any more homes there's a lot of homes up there yeah but then the people that are advocating for no more homes means their value is going to skyrocket because now there's no more that can be built that's like the homes in like monrovia and what's that baller ass bradbury up there you know what the door to whatever hill same deal i feel like that happens every time they go oh that's enough no more houses sorry yes look at that ████ so i do this all the time huh the immediate home value in this area is 4.5 million dollars so what is a low income home then two million oh yeah i want these blips [Laughter] it's only for startup guys uh so among the residents are uh founders of intuit which is like a
5:55 yeah a huge company intel symantec as well as larry ellison where where is this yeah where is this silicon valley ████ washington it's called woodside it's like a silicon valley suburb oh oh i wonder what their house is damn yeah 4.5 is the median must be a ████ big-ass commute for anybody that does like landscaping or like maids and ████ or uh housekeepers yeah can you imagine living in those um volleyballer homes where you have a living staff like have you ever seen like those houses in england or they're not even homes they're like castles right it's like a hundred and something rooms it's been in people's families for like 500 years and then you'll see like one ████ lord or one dude lives there and no family no relatives but like a hundred staff people yeah that's pretty
6:46 crazy yeah that's nuts are they all like nuts hello sir when you walk in yeah in the cornucopia you just got ████ dudes that live there so they could cut the lawn and then they can't even finish it like it's a it's a whole 40 hour work week where you cut the lawn all day trim great by the time you're done with it you got to cut it yeah yeah again because it grew that's wild dude loop yeah yeah or by the time you're done cutting it's like winter you don't have to worry about anymore can you guys respond have live and help like do you think you could ever do that it seems like fresh prince i don't know if i like that you would do like an in-law maybe but i would love to have an in-law but like having like i enslaved my family all day but when it comes to strangers that's where i draw the line yeah what if it's like that's why the asian culture of like getting someone really close to your culture like would you get a
7:37 japanese guy nope because they ████ too perverted that's the reason you think you're jerking all right what kind of asian would you like them to live in your house what's the least perverted asian uh chinese people don't ████ that much but there is a billion of them so i might be lying um they just make it count they just make it count the evidence you know what i'll just go with food and i would say i love vietnamese food so i would get a vietnamese grandma but i have a feeling she's gonna yell at you she's gonna start being too comfortable and start bossing me around being nosy and start giving her opinions she's going to start talking ████ this guy hates grandpa dude i didn't hire you to be my mom dude like she gonna do your nails you know what i would have to do southeast asian because the food the food is just so different from east asian
8:28 yeah because my friend um always had like a living like help that he lived in san marino ████ nice ass neighborhood big ass home i walk around they had to cook and they also had like um like a maid and then so if we do sleepovers or whatever like they always cook for us it was pretty cool but i always thought it was so weird to have somebody that isn't a part of your family living inside of your house what's your favorite southeast asian dish oh man it would have to be something between like a food or between that uh this malaysian thing it was this like rice mix something i forgot nasi malacca but a part of me wants to experience that i want to know what it's like to
9:18 have like live and help to have like a staff where you just wake up and they're already ████ getting food ready all this stuff is like you know and i want to know what that's like i bet it's pretty sick yeah it must be great how about it sucks out yeah no i don't think that there's nobody get a servant i wonder what that's like oh yeah it's awesome actually go figure i can't believe that that that's awesome but i also like people all up in my business too so i don't know well but isn't your house being i think i've been to your house yeah it's a thing how do you even know someone else is there i don't know i just don't like people like like hearing a story or something like i can't wait to go gossip this somewhere else that's why they gotta not be able to speak or understand english you know what i mean you just point this stuff in there like when i was watching the rams game with captain america and he's talking to his chick about how he just went hunting and i'm like i can kind of hear you dude [Laughter]
10:09 yeah it's like weird that else would be kind of crazy can you be yourself and relax because that's what you could kind of hear yourself that's the thing my grandma grew up like that and she says every ████ morning from monday through friday right everyone got ready they had breakfast together and then they would have to line up in the driveway to see off my grandpa and his driver would get the yeah that's all right that's dope man they all ████ bowed the staff all the it was a hierarchy mom kids and the staff and then they would ████ bow and every single that was their thing every single morning righteous gems so i was like i was like that's crazy and then you lived with them and then they it's like that's so weird to me they're not family members i don't know it could be fun what if you like play games with them in the backyard and stuff you know if you like treat them like friends what if they're so poor that's like um
11:00 i always wanted a human table like i wanted someone on all fours where i put a table on their back and then i i eat food i thought that would be pretty funny so he doesn't want to live with servants but wants a human table i would love a human table i would love it would you have them human foot rest or no i want them to pretend that they're a dog for a table oh with a bunch of fruits all over the privates and stuff like that that's kind of sexual here's what i want to the gardeners were doing it look i want this person to be a human table and then i want to move out of my property but then like on moving day i want this person to still pretend to be a table so they don't get up and then the movers have to move them you have to wrap them with plastic the rock and roll movers this is like squid game you guys can squish it you're standing there and you're going oh i
11:50 don't know don't ████ up my wall man come on you
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