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False Alarms in Your Life

#teatree#aids#hives#doctor#mold
the transcript auto-captions · entered into evidence

0:00 maybe you're allergic to it or something I think so because when I tried to take tea tree oil baths my skin was already all red but I was just like ah it's but it goes away after you dry off it but I inhaled it this time yeah inhaling it's probably way worse I was like no it's STDs ████ I like how everything's [Music] SDS what is the absolute biggest false alarm you've ever experienced in your life oh where um you know like things like you thought your girl was pregnant but she wasn't uh you thought like mine like where I thought I had AIDS for 30 days and I didn't czy like stuff like that oh yeah I thought I had I thought I had told you that story you did no I can tell to you real quick cuz yeah yeah make it make it Swift um I got a so I

0:51 had this uh this swelling happened when I was going to teach convention in Florida and my whole face just got really huge the morning I had to go fly out and I was like what the ████ happened to my face I went straight to the hospital when I landed I ended up going uh to the emergency room and then they they put me out on like benad drill and stuff thinking it would help and then I woke up like like 10 hours later to the doctor being like I don't know what what's causing it and then so uh I ended up going back home and I didn't initially do anything about it I just wanted to see what would happen with the swelling if it would come back cuz it went down after 3 days and then um for about for a few months after that the swelling was would come back every like 2 to 3 weeks it would go up for like 3 days and come back down and it would come back in like a couple weeks so then I went to this uh basically I just get getting passed up the chain to doctor to

1:42 doctor doctor when finally I get to this one Doctor Who's like basically profiled me because first they asked me like oh what do you do for a living and I said I I'm a dancer and that's when he's like oh you might have AIDS no way that's such a that's such yeah that's so cuz he thought he was a gay stripper because he said that like that kind of swelling is is consistent with people that are experiencing like late stage HIV or something yeah late stage gay is some ████ like that so then they were like we're he was like but don't worry we're going to test for everything yeah like hemorrhoids you have stage four homo yeah exactly so they end up doing this this really extensive examination with blood work and all kinds of stuff and they're like you're not going to know for 30 days so for 30 days I basically thought I had AIDS 30 days of HIV and the reason this complicates is because I had a girlfriend at the time and I didn't I

2:33 didn't know how to bring myself to ask her like do you have AIDS yeah and you didn't kiss I didn't have any other partners and then so for that 30 days I kept that secret as from her as well and then um on the on the after the 30 days I come back to the doctor they give me like a big almost like a binder full of results and then he's all yeah looks like you're fine and that's it dope ass bedside man or ████ it turns out it's like an autoimmune disease like called shog syndrome where like you can experience like uh swelling of your glands so it could be like your lymph nodes here kind of make your face swell your different parts of your body that have anything glandular that same story happened to my uncle but he did have AIDS and then he died oh yeah cuz he that's that's the he was a gay dancer he was a gay he was a gay man oh I think it's still wild that his first response was after there's got to be something wrong with that like you

3:24 can't just say that ████ yeah cuz he profiled you basically he's like oh a dancer probably gay so for that month I really was like what am I going to do if I actually have AIDS am I going to should I like go into hiding or move cuz it's going to create so many problems but what if a lot of his clients that do have AIDS are dancers and that's why he made that connection could be but I also didn't know like even though I only had one partner and it was my that's what you're not supposed to do as a doctor I also didn't know this just I have a buddy who this just happened to him same ████ where they just were they thought it's like they like you have AIDS yeah they like they hiire huge you didn't have ████ yeah why do lead with AIDS like they should do something else like it could be Co but I don't know let's run some this is why when people like trust the experts I'm like bro my buddy my buddy went to three different doctors all of them said he's good he had back

4:14 intense lower back pain the fourth doctors like you actually have uh tumors down there and they're cancerous like my friend had a a situation where um she had a lot of pain in her arm and then it got like super red and it started swelling in and then um blisters started forming and the doctors like three of them were like we we don't know it got to the point where she finally got to Cedar SI there was a doctor there it was just like this is super rare it was like some sort of like flesh eating bacteria but it was a version that they hadn't seen before and they had to get to a stage of like certain doctors being like we have to cut our arm off immediately and then third four fifth opinion of a guy like finally like re I don't know

5:04 figured it out and was able to like save her arm with pelo with pelo and but she still lost like movement in her fingers and then they had to do certain like skin Reformation on her arm it was like ████ crazy like she went through days thinking okay like my arm's gone it was it started spreading to other parts of her body was she just dirty or something like how did did she go rafting in Costa Rica no I don't know I have no idea did she use the shower at a gym yeah but it had pelo in it so she was I always scrub my balls at the gym I don't get no bacteria eating diseases I might be the one leaving the you give people skin tank it's wild how a bad doctor could just like wreck your whole like ████ I mean if she had just listened to that first doctor that was just like stressing out

5:57 like let's just cut it off yeah yeah and hurry but a lot of these ████ are psychopaths though a lot of them will be like that's going to be the most money it's like going to a mechanic and they see the check engine line they're like oh you going to need a new engine cuz they want three grand you know that's so ████ scary yeah so imagine you had a doctor like that and then they're like ah bro you're going to need a new elbow dude ████ that's five grand right there a new elbow is only $5,000 we know there are good doctors by the way shut up thanks yeah yeah exactly I know know that there's both right fact that we even have to put that disclaimer out is wild I had a cool I had a cool doctor when I had the SCD Scare at least I had at least I had a cool doctor they were straight up with you he's just like let's not assume anything that's normally how it goes though that's usually the way it goes he said let's not assume drop your pants

6:49 let me take a look at it and we'll get some blood work done Bubba and I was just like huh what you want me to do like drop your pants so I can let me suck it a little bit what good is it what what good is it even to tell someone when the results are coming in 30 days to even think that it might be AIDS what good does that do to anybody did you ask them they're like bro why did you had to tell me I was more concerned that I had AIDS I didn't think that not at the end when he did I just got out of I was just wanted to live life again he was just thinking of himself I went to emergency uh room and they gave me my result in like 6 hours what do you mean for the for aids for SD checks like all blood work and PW work I just went to emergency room so I can get it right wow you got it premium done you're like can you check if I got AIDS right now they charged me like three grand just to get that check but I never paid it oh yeah because if you just don't pay it they just they just leave you alone yeah you

7:40 don't really pay it is that crazy don't pay that's the craziest thing too I mean like what you going to ████ attack me could filibuster the medical system you're ████ us anyways couple months wait you for real though you just went to ER and then got a bill and you just like no I'm not going to pay I dude I was hella young I was I'm not going to pay for it and you're like now I want to be a cop it's that thing where you it's that thing where you say I'm not going to pay for it I don't have money and then they go well how much do you have and then you can say I have this much and they're like okay that's fine yeah you negotiate which is crazy I didn't PID for it it got into debt collection and then you know they called me back and said yo we instead of that three grand we we'll take that same deal for you and just pay us a th000 and we we'll take care of the rest of the two yeah but don't make deals with uh debt collectors it's not their debt to collect no no they got called from the doctors to call me but instead of three

8:30 I only paid a th000 but then you had to you had to the 2,000 was now income did you have to pay taxes on that dude I have no idea anything about that I don't know I was I was so young but yo your uncle story is crazy bro yeah yeah thanks for bringing it up yeah thanks stepen second time you brought it up now and we know they're a good doctor so shut up no really that really did happen yeah my uncle in the in the '90s my my parents just didn't want to explain anything to us so they were just like oh your uncle he had a dirty needle when he went to the doctors and they gave Maids on accident and and then he died like pretty quickly he had like crazy AIDS and then they called it crazy AIDS yeah and then he um they called it and then he he dies and then he left like this huge comic book collection that became like a huge war in my family over oh wow great yeah he had like all the gay

9:21 Comics love when that happens every gay comic ever made yeah all the gay Comics Fantastic 4 is probably like yeah Fantastic 4 is one of the gayest ones yeah definitely one of the gayest oh that trailer looks really cool see it true I thought it looked I I thought it was pretty cool because just the the fact that they're doing it all retro and stuff I was like this is fun it's fresh have you guys ever had like health symptoms just keep coming up and you just couldn't figure out what the ████ was happening when I was at JK remember that day I had like a ████ I was like I got to leave early yeah remember that but that just seemed like a caffeine induced anxiety attack it was because I didn't really get much sleep T night before and he's just pounding caffeine pounding caffeine and I didn't even know that was crazy that was crazy hey what's up guys just in case you've noticed some of these lovely Jade pieces on some of our men here uh just know that you can

10:12 get some for yourself over at the Jade jewel. uh visit our friends here at the site and check out some of the pieces they've got the selection is massive you can find all kinds of different designs and they even do some custom work so if you want to check them out uh we'll be very grateful we love these guys over at J Jewelers and uh we're happy for you guys to be able to get the same stuff I was like actually I was like driving like my part was beating so fast I was like this is insane and you left and then I had to host restate and I saved you yeah he did he had your back we all had your back but then the fans were all let down cuz they like oh dude it's only half you kind of sucks like they would know day the anxiety sucks I never had that happen to me every one time several months ago Hannah was breaking out like from neck to toe and just hives oh and I never got hives

11:03 before so I was like what the ████ is that and then um we read that like a lot of people that don't get sun a lot they get sun allergies and Sun rashes and ████ and then so she's you know like she's like not acclimated to the Hawaii Sun so she was like probably oh these are probably like sun rashes right and then so she was like losing memory and but she was like I think I'm going crazy cuz like I'm like I'm not remembering ████ this s███'s happening and I'm like what the ████ is it fast forward to 3 4 months after I'm like um working and all of a sudden my ankle itches and then when I get to the house neck to toe I'm ████ in hives and I'm just red all over itchy as ████ I can't go to sleep I'm like what the ████ is happening so like we're trying to research ████ like we're busy

11:53 don't even go to the hospital and ████ right and then it's not consistent though it just go away out of nowhere and then like 3 days later it comes back again and we're just like what the ████ so I I thought it was like maybe we're eating something whatever whatever and then I somehow like I think my friend told me or something but we looked at uh mold exposure and you could get ████ hives and all the symptoms from memory loss to all these things and then I was like this might be it so like where is it right so my buddy um owns a plumbing company and in his world like like when you fix a whole thing with water damage and all that ████ there's a guy that comes in and he takes air samples and he checks if there's like harmful mold and ████ so we had him come do everything and he actually found

12:43 ████ up uh like mold in our office and he goes I don't know why this is here so I was like why the ████ is there water damage and mold in our office right and I was like oh ████ I remember a year ago when I wasn't there um they had a water leak and then they had to fix it but they didn't fix it properly and then afterwards it's all this ████ ████ so I went to my landlord I was like hey you guys got to ████ fix this ████ this is what went down and then um recently they cleaned it all out did all this ████ and I was like man if I was like ruthless I probably sue the ████ out of them cuz that ████ was so annoying but like I don't know man I was just like ████ it I just don't want these things anymore but I didn't know like so some people can have allergic reactions to mold right and your body over time you get exposed to it long enough you start

13:34 going crazy yeah so I was like there's a lot of people too talking about how like oh my home had mold and ████ and then so like I have memory loss I have this I have this autoimmune disease and I'm like what the ████ cuz we live in dry ass California I never had to deal with mold ████ ever you know but like I guess a lot of homes in Hawaii that happens yeah I mean a lot of there's just water water leaks causing mold and all kinds of everywhere cuz nobody deals with it it's just what happens but I didn't know that ████ crazy yeah but I was like dude I never had hives in my life and I was like that is one of the scariest ████ cuz you're just ████ itching your like what is this happening where is this coming from and it's all your Skin's all bumpy and raised yeah so it's so fre that s███'s scary as ████ I had that one time too hives hives what does it come from food no for me for me it

14:24 was weird I just had a boxing glove my boxing gloves you know it just a lot of sweating in there I was just like let me clean it and they told me to get rid of that smell you need to put tea tree oil so I was like bet I put tea tree oil in a boiler and then I was like oh it's done so I opened up the boiler and then the smoke just went and then I inhaled it and I was like oh and then hit like my whole head started shaking and I was like oh ████ this is so weird bro I felt super like tired and Daisy and then I was just like yo let me just clean my gloves and I'm going to just go sleep I woke up the next day with my whole body covered in hives damn you got tea trees from inhaling tea tree must be like allergic or something yeah cuz I didn't realize I was kind of like my skin don't like tea tree oil too much maybe you're allergic to it or something I think so because when I try to take tea tree oil

15:14 baths my skin was already all red but I was just like ah it's but it goes away after you dry off it ████ but I inhaled it this time yeah inhaling is prob way worse I was like no ████ STDs ████ I I like how everything's STDs my doctor would told you that yeah but I just realized uh the do when I went to the doctor oh it's just hives you probably allergic to T if that's the last thing that happened to you I like yeah did you ever have anyone have any false alarms where like you thought something bad had happened but it ended up it was like something else entirely like where you like for example like someone's all anyone have a great Corolla it just got towed and you go there it's not yours kind of a thing stupid ████ like that I do can't no they all actually have oh yeah that's right that's the worst the best feeling is when I see a police car behind me and

16:06 they fire up the roof and I'm like oh ████ they're getting me and then they go around me and I'm like instant instant gratification that feels great yeah I get pulled over all the time ████ I thought I was going to have uh get my license revoked when I I was speeding this is a 2001 and I was going 1 107 on the five freeway back from SF and then uh when you pass Kern County that's like a really Infamous place where they tiet you no matter what cuz they want you to pay the that's how they their whole economy runs on people speeding through and then uh they were like when I went to court I had to go back to current County for court and they were like saying that oh you're going to lose your license for like whatever like 3 months or 6 months or something like that and you're going to pay like seven Grand and this is when I was 18 and I was working the freaking uh

16:57 cell phone job which I was making almost zero and then so uh they do that thing where like if you just plead with the judge they usually lower it and they just go easier on you if you just seem like a nice kid so then I was just like oh please like I go to Community College I don't really this is all I've got and so he was like okay I'll just make it uh I'll make it one month of yeah you can't drive anywhere other than school and uh you just have to pay $500 like that's a big drop big ass drop a bunch of dicks though to scare you yeah mhm big ass drop you always ask for I would like to contest by trial by written written um competition Tri by com Tri by combat Tri by one-on-one combat yeah who will be my Champion by written contest you've ever seen those like Court uh videos where like the Jud

17:47 they'll just ask the judge can I just not have this ticket and they usually say yes weird they just want you to like actually like be sorry repent be responsible that's kind of a nice Society to be in yeah I'm cool that in school when it works they just don't want those those kids or or girls that are like I don't give a ████ I didn't I don't I know what I did cash me outside ████ huh yeah I want to court ones for a ticket front license plate yo you know you know I went to court for a front license plate that's pretty funny they gave me a ticket I had to go to court and they dog for not having the front for not having a front own one did you own a front light yeah it was just inside my car going tot why you have to go to court for that does it make sense I don't

18:37 know the judge just looked at my paper and was like just pay $25 to get out of your way I was like all right cool I had jur Duty one time oh I just got mines he's not going to pick up on it yeah nobody cing me sucks sucks he's being you right now thank you oh cool man yeah we know there's good doctors shut up ████ ████ you by the way ████ you man ████ you ████ you

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