0:00 the first time I heard of such things was on a Biggie Smalls album where he talks about his story where he poops on a woman's chest yeah yeah and then it goes I'm going going back back to Cali [Music] all right we got another awesome article that has been submitted by one of our amazing patrons hopefully you're on the live stream right now which one this is submitted by Bowzer clone tree honors right now because they're watching this live I don't want to rag on Bowser but I thought we evolved from like AOL or first like Xbox names like that's definitely like a 1999 I thought we evolved no I thought we I
0:51 thought we sufficated now I think we got past that yeah I thought we grew up how come we're gonna go back you're getting the ████ doing your rice for me all right so there's a German ballet director right who got a Critic from a Critic yeah because he's German ballet it has to be Russian ballet it was a bad review and so he got upset so what he decided to do was he took his dog's ████ put in a bag and then brought it and confronted this critic and smeared it in her face in her face in her face is that illegal okay I'm gonna pretend like I didn't hear her I like what happened because I like it when people don't hide behind keyboards but you ████ up the whole story by making a girl do you think a Critic is different than an Internet troll though internet trolls and critics a professional critic like that's kind of
1:42 the same yeah what if she worked for IMDb or some ████ now is it a little bit different they're still ████ no they're like Yelp reviewers if you talk some ████ no matter who gets like it could be Charlemagne you could be whatever the ████ you want expect to get popped in the face and if that's fair game then everyone say whatever they want to say Charlemagne says you don't like your hair you're rubbing ████ in his face maybe if I was ████ up dog ████ if I was Birdman I ████ roll up in there with like 30 homies from the movie Birdman Michael Keaton Birdman what would somebody have to say to you for you to go get your dog Mia's ████ and then rub it in their faces dude Mia almost ████ on me twice this weekend she did you must have been a bad kid oh it goes close how how did she ████ on you I don't really care when people talk ████ about me what if they're talking ████ about your dog's ████ this guy's
2:32 pretty bulletproof I think no no I don't so I don't care that people talk ████ about me but if I'm viewing the world I like seeing the fair game so I like seeing okay someone talks ████ about Ryan then it's okay for Ryan to punch you in the face just let you know that's the rules I saw a man get caca all over his face because he pooped in front of somebody's house and he didn't clean it up so the guy got mad and he picked it up in a bag and he told him ████ you human yeah who's human ████ in front of another human's house and how did he stick around for that that sounds like there was a problem at the gym recently so we had this gym that we work at and in the back it's like a it's like a like a duplex or something like that so we share a gate we all park in the same lot one night the owner of our gym didn't lock the gate and the guy who lived in the back came out and said hey man like you guys
3:22 didn't lock the gate and he was like oh I'm sorry I thought I left early enough it was like seven o'clock my bad I didn't lock the gate totally my fault and the guy goes yeah the reason why we lock the gate is because some drunk guys come behind the dumpster and they take a big old ████ and it happens very frequently we're like and we were like oh my God I'm so sorry he's like I had to clean it up and he's like and it happens a lot and we're like oh my God I am so sorry is there a bar nearby yeah why is that like a thing there is no bar nearby so we were like what who is this it's him yeah no there's the cameras in the back it's for sure him though and I had to clean it up he just ████ his pants you need to ████ electrocute that ████ I know but but I guess he said because his shoes on some Eye For Eyes no the if you're shooting in
4:12 people's ████ duplexes you need to electrocute them up for a good man watches Bobby Lee like why is this happening so pretty and how's it like clockwork that's interesting that's why that's the only reason why we locked the gate and I did not know that I thought it was for like for security reasons not just because that's technically I guess security right yeah but like not like the fact that he's he's not stealing ████ what'd you expect the ████ FBI raids and narcos to come that kind of security maybe dude or like homeless people right because that's a that's a thing yeah there's not even that many there's like no homeless people on our block why is ████ in feces and Kaka the first like line of defense for ████ talking yeah your roasted cacao why is that's why it's called s███'s office yeah I guess but you know what I mean like I think of like approaching and doing hey man I heard what you said but I'm not automatically thinking like ████ to the face yeah that's that's wild
5:02 yeah it's a little wild don't you think Bart that's your first thought when I piss you off like how can I get ████ in this guy's face because imagine like you're playing basketball right someone actually fouls you you don't ████ go yeah that's what I'm saying I'm also not farting in my hand and putting in your face what if there's some kind of loophole that's a lesser charge than assault oh there probably is yeah if I punch you I'm going to jail but if I just put some dookie on you at school dude that's pretty bad though yeah you get pink eye you're throwing up from E coli because if two people threw down you're like oh okay whatever they ████ they didn't see I I like I I whatever but people are like ████ pissing and ████ and ████ we just turned into monkeys [Music] like bro ████ can't be that crazy was it
5:52 Billy Madison like ████ can't be that far off that has to be I need to do that I would way rather you spit on me than ████ ████ I'd rather you knock me out punch me in the face don't put dookie on me the dude the dude that did that in Hollywood where he dumped a bucket of his own diarrhea and the lady he was up he's out of jail that day there's a correlation with if you're gonna put ████ on people you better be ████ homeless you're crazy you know what this might take that guy's home away from him if someone brought ████ on your face and they're successful in it that person should get death penalty I think all in favor aye yeah and if there's video evidence penalty yeah or a public vlogging which which death penalty though vlog
6:43 gy forced splits of course like ████ uh you want to Wishbone somebody yeah but what if they're flexible this is a ballet director oh yeah that's a bad punishment as a dude by the way a dude who smeared it on a chick's face that's crazy yeah in Germany yeah German ballet stop saying ████ just say another dude so it was a shiza do you want me to just make it easier for you to hear yeah dude I'm a liberal don't hurt my feelings like that oh yeah I heard German King says they like to do cockaplay a lot that is a what's that called a fecal porn or scat porn I watch two girls one cup and it was pretty good I guess German sex tourists are known to travel to different countries to get pooped on and poop on others and what's
7:34 it called here Cleveland steamer yeah nice yeah that's the chest one yeah the first time I heard of such things was on a Biggie Smalls album where he talks about his story where he poops a woman's chest yeah yeah and then it goes I'm going going back back to Cali no I'm just kidding it's in that song oh No it's I think it's the one that's nasty boy you nasty boy you nasty you know that song yeah so let's let's try to empathize with this dude you pretend to be a German ballet director yeah that's easy he's the German dude talk about your ballet please I have crafted a very good ballet in the over the past six months um and there was a critic that wrote a very nasty review about my ballet and as
8:27 I'm saying this I'm like did I lose my attorney you you Channel a little bit more Hitler what happened to my be more Angry yeah what accent is that you're out there yeah don't be so you know what no what was that actually I draw a swastika under chest yeah go ahead get a Sharpie put it on my ████ lips okay and this is this is among some of the things that the critic had written um one alternates between a state of feeling insane and being killed by boredom and watching the performance impaired viewing it to uh passively Washington they're going out of their wear to be really hard they're saying behind a glass left to sit in the warm looking at a winter beach like a permanent state of retirement did Ryan write this dude whoa that sounds like a satirical review yeah yeah so like that was some deep cut stuff you're you're a German ballet cars and this person's dropping ████ poetry on
9:18 you damn that's that's kind of hard I don't know if I've ever been that mad to throw poop at somebody though and I used to have a bad temper but I don't think I've ever thrown poop is crazy this isn't throwing this is like yeah the same that's even worse because what's happened in my hand yeah was she wearing gloves that's gonna stink for like a week you're not washing that ████ out yeah and then once it gets smeared the smell changes you know what I mean like it gets deeper it's like when you step on dog ████ versus just smelling it it's like re-oxygenates it you know smeared cold ████ smells different from hot fresh ████ that's also true too I could kind of smell it at the dog park right now because the crust is always a different scent from the mantle that's Trudeau is is uh throwing ████ at someone more severe or is a bow and arrow or severe
10:09 yeah unless it's poisonous bow and arrow I'd rather get hit with the bow and arrow to my face excuse me yeah just like a small flashlight but if it's like a small pan like yeah I could do it I don't think I could deal with knowing that I had ████ all over my face why don't you just run away if I see someone running at me like this classic ████ smearing right yeah that's what happened to me in elementary school yeah you can't run from an arrow oh you can't run if they run faster than you I'm fast dog you get tired here yeah I do get tired I do get tired I do an endurance racing will catch up for about a second on real quick but a guy running with his hand out yeah he can't pump yeah he can't get the momentum bro that's one arm don't ever underestimate a laughing kid with a handful of ████
11:00 there they won't stop that's when a sidekick to the chest is like they won't stop that's true and once you fall down because you're running so fast they come to your back and smear or if you're like laughing while running away yeah you know when you're laughing and trying to run away and your laughter makes you weak yeah the kid has you I know it's over oh you're dead to right to me I gotta ████ hit with a ████ that's terrible yeah she should this person bow and arrow 100 man it's a cooler story oh somebody should get the death penalty it's the guy the guy who created this terrible music the guy yeah sleep
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