0:00 if she handpicked me to hang out one-onone I'm like oh she feels me she what do you mean by handpick it go oh [Music] yeah welcome back to a highly informative episode of careful boys today we have Helen with us over there in the Taiwanese Zone Wooh and then we have Melissa Bonos right here in the Filipino and other Zone even though you're what is it Cambodian it doesn't matter Chinese Cambodian okay all I wanted you guys to uh to do this because sometimes when we have these discussions about uh platonic friendships between men and women we have like really different opinions about how it's impossible it can never happen but I've literally been in a platonic relationship with you guys as friends for as long as I can remember that's cuz you're gay
0:51 Ryan spoiler spoiler alert no but I wanted you guys to ask them how like ask them questions about how that is is even possible and I'm not even going to interject cuz I'm not going to mix it up with my answers do you have you do you guys have other platonic friends that are dudes yeah but I actually I I'm in love with Ryan I knew it see I knew B sorry smack have you seen have you seen like those videos that they like like they ask um do you have guy friends and the girls be like yeah and then you're like call them right now and say you want to sleep with them that's I asked my friend that and he did say that true he's like any friend of yours like any guy like given any chance would say yes and I was like I don't know if that's true it's not
1:42 they might not want I hate to Brak it to you hel but I wouldn't say it's completely all wrong yeah because I would I would say okay so I would say if the reverse would be true so if all of your female friends in most cases will not sleep with you I think that's true but flip it around some of those guy friends will sleep with you if you if they had the chance yeah but you can kind of tell who those are right yeah I would think so sad face I was like there's definitely guy friends that just like won't like break that like you're crossing a line there and that means a friendship can never go back so one that's partially that and I
2:32 think at some point you're friends for so long that there is just like it's just brother and sister or something almost yeah like it's cuz that's what happens to me over time the attractiveness goes away completely and it's not like they're unattractive it's just like when you look at them there's like nothing there like some dudes will ████ their sisters though that's true oh okay those dud are my friends I wonder how their friends feel it's like hey sis you want some uh whiskey tonight oh that's okay now damn it my ████ sister's holding out again that's a different world I think um the younger you are the more willing you you'll do it yeah I think so and then the older you are I think you're less willing to the older were the
3:24 longer you've been friend yes the longer the longer yeah but some people secet if you Secret love for 10 years then yeah yeah that's different or people do have like oh well even the ones that are like we've been just friends but then it developed into something I feel like from the start they knew there was potentially something there interesting could be yeah it definitely ruins friendships yeah for sure is there a scenario for both of you guys so you guys think of the dude pretend both you guys are single and then think of the dude your friend zone okay just the random dude your friend zone they're forever your friend let's say you guys are in an airplane airplane crashes on an island no one's coming to rescue you then the dude's like so what about now would you guys entertain like ████ it's just you me fine or would you be
4:15 like no we're on this island we're going to figure it out as friends I mean my first thought wouldn't be I need to have I was going to say you're going to ████ your way off the island why not like that would even I know why not see that's how guys work like are we talking can we get some fish or something first like I'm hungry she like he's like how many fish do I need to catch that's how guys think I feel like as soon as the plane crashes so looks like we're alone cuz I think guys will be like oh you want a shelter okay what about now after this I get a blow job right or no oh you want a shelter just freaking hammering right away I got like 10 coconuts for you it's like dang oh ████ I mean like to save Humanity maybe if that was like you'd have to yeah like how long have you been
5:05 stuck there 6 months no that's too soon still you can't fall in love with your friend in 6 months damn wait 6 months on island the question the the actual question is can guys and girls be friends right that's the one that everyone that was the original one but then we now we're stuck on an island when we ask it it's like Steve thinks it's impossible like completely oh really yeah he just doesn't think it there's any chance well is it because is he talking about like deep friendships I don't I think General like I have hella acquaintances that I consider friends but we're not close remember when it was like so you know the the the factor of like if they're attractive to you or not is like a big deal breaker with whether or not this can just be friends to a lot of guys but then we were talking about like my rebuttal was like if you're in charge of casting like if someone's like I need
5:55 you to cast the the 10 hottest kids for this teen show it's like you'd have have to know which kids were hot but you're not attracted to them right it's kind of like that it's like I know that they're really pretty girls but I'm not I don't that does nothing for me but I can tell you like that that's the case but I'm not like you know some guys are like I don't even see that it's like no yeah you yeah you do like you have to be able to well there's so there's people that are objectively beautiful or like good-looking or attractive but you're not attracted to them I think that's the key if you are personally attracted to them because you find them physically attractive you like how they like are as people you wish they were with you that's when it gets dangerous throughout life when people ask I'm not like e gross why do you like them that's what I'm saying like there must have been
6:45 some sort of initial attraction oh you know like you kind of know like oh potentially there's something there but then there are cases where you just there isn't right yeah and then over time it becomes like like you said it's like more of like a sibling like awkward feeling to even think of that is pretty so who who are the people that believe that it can't that it can't yeah this just like guys and girls just cannot like I think I can't maybe it's an individual thing I think I can't you can why you can't have female friends well I feel like let's say I have a female best friend and then I'm like talking to her at night and then like every activity I'm doing I can't wait to tell her or anything that happens that's important in life I'm telling her before if I tell my wife oh that's kind of weird though that would take me away from my marriage I feel like but why would that have to
7:36 be like to you know what I mean like why does it have to be that extent where it's like the first thing I do is like call her well but that's their best friend right if that's my best friend that's the person I talk to I think we're just talking about friends I'm like I have knots can you can you get my knot from me like a I'm oh it's my wife calling me again Jesus I mean I think you're like friendship now you sound like a gay guy like me a really really good friend but not your best friend friend weren't you pretty close with nah she's a female friend like but you guys are friends and you're able to have that with no you know romantic attractiveness or whatever and then you guys were buddies he's like is it tag his wife yeah let me tag you but I mean you guys don't have to be besties but I think that's what people mean is like you can have an authentic
8:26 friendship with someone a close one too and you don't but the priority doesn't go over your wife but then like where Nina is she's still not in my like let's say it's like my wife is like in here in this circle outside I have like the boys or whatever like someone I'm really really close with she's still not in that group did she'll be right she'll be right outside of that group oh did she oh she wasn't do you think you can have a girl be in that the boys group without me wanting to ████ her yeah I don't know I've never been tested but I feel like it'd be weird to you think Nina can like advance to this Inner Circle the boy Circle I don't know like I just picture myself with all the stuff I went I did with Joe like let's say we like audition together we travel together we probably ████ out at some point in
9:16 time if me and Joe were doing like all the stuff if I was a female cuz I like I didn't consent to this how does that feel we can make that happen like let's say this stuff no wonder you never wanted to get separate hotel rooms like let's say all the stuff you and drix went through right yeah right like all ups and downs whatever if she was a chick you guys probably would have had sex at one point no I think they have that yeah I maybe maybe I get what you're saying though it's kind of like if they're that cool you'd be you'd be helpless to feel attracted to yes that's what I mean that's what I mean but that that kind of reminds me of like Lydia cuz Lydia's also in Quest Crew and I've never had that feeling with her and we kind of and you guys been through all the You' been through a lot of that stuff too then maybe it's kind of a mixture of like what you said about you already had to have the initial or
10:06 attraction and it kind of grew or yeah there had to be something big you don't turn around one day like oh they're kind of they're kind of cute yeah but to be fair like with like with me and Bonos we've been friends for so long and we've had friends around us and some of those dudes started liking her and I was like what the ████ happened and after like years you're like I didn't know that I understand that some people are skeptical about it because I didn't see that coming either and neither did you all of a sudden they're like wait what where's this new agenda coming and that ruins it cuz it's awkward then you have to be like stand offish and you're like and like I said that ruins the Friendship but that's not all friendships that's so soft and nice yeah
10:56 I think um most of my close female like friends though are they would be like wives or girlfriends of my guy friends none that you've met like yeah I don't think I've I have friends of like just straight up like someone you met while surfing or something like maintain that relationship I have female like I have friends from my past and we're still friends right but then I don't keep up with it in the same way but I don't do that with guys either so it's just probably separate yeah that's kind of just your whole style then it could be suring style yeah there's people that grow up like guys I grow up with like all their friends are just guys and the only females that come in the picture are like oh someone's dating someone yeah but then I feel like there's friend
11:48 groups that are both though yeah and so in those cases yeah yeah you do have guy girlfriends wa do you do you have like you you both have guy friends that're like for for years you guys just been friends oh I have a lot of guy friends yeah just in general you have like a lot of mostly guy friends um yeah I mean like just like questioners like oh yeah um but yeah no I get along with men easily here's another question why you to say it like that here's the difference so they can't just I think what in a freaking office going like this while you say okay so I think this is a defining kind of thing right so like when guys
12:40 are friends you could probably hang out oneon-one mhm when guys become friends with girls they'll be friends in groups but they very rarely hang out oneon-one okay I hang out my guy friends one-onone o I think that's a defining Factor are these like very mature guys though are they like very like no not some of okay when you guys hang out oneon-one is it at each other's houses in bed you're like can we just play Twister just by ourselves what position are you hanging out in I mean I think it it would be the same as like I have a guy friend that's gay and me hanging out with him alone like I can do the same thing with my guy friends that aren't gay which which one am I by the way you're a bit of
13:31 both it's kind of all so like okay what is the common thing or activity that is done so for example activity guys usually have a thing that they're doing like you know what I mean like when it's like let's go do this activity that's my golf buddy or whatever yeah like guys usually I mean but what about like when it's like your when it's your old friends let's let's meet up and like have coffee talk or whatever yeah sit there ████ drink CCH up yeah I guess that's true I'd assume that's a date oh not not a date you can't go out and eat and have it not be a date not a date but like a step towards it oh wow that's how I feel you wouldn't just go get food with me and not think we're on a date do I know you're [Laughter]
14:23 married like if if I think you're single I'm like wait but we're talking about your your your friend like your friend that you've been friend was for years yeah if she if she handpicked me to hang out oneon-one I'm like oh she feels me she what do you mean by handpick go oh yeah everything is this respon she could have picked anybody Oh weird you know what um it I do when I'm one-on-one with a girl is um it's usually around business it's usually around like I have some I want to ask you about Marketing Online whatever whatever right he's feeling me she wants me but she's hiding it no it's it's usually that like we're friends but we're also like a lot of the
15:13 female friends that I've kept over the years are entrepreneurial or like kind of I don't know there there's a like a little bit of a masculine Spirit to them right where it's like you could sit down and like 90% of your conversations about business stuff and then 10% is the past of like remember that time when we did this and this and that was hilarious or whatever and we got so drunk or whatever right and you go back to all right so how's this going and then yeah so it's usually a conversation around a hobby or a shared interest that we geek out on okay yeah but other than that yeah it's it's I really don't spend a lot of time just talking with people in general so I know I know a lot of dudes and girls a general thing a lot of dudes and girls can be friends um but I just that's why I think
16:04 I I make it like a me thing cuz I feel like I can't I think it's like too too horny I think like let's say for example like let's say I think bar just don't have like I can't I'm going visit a friend right or I'm going to visit a city and if my and I'm married and I'm visiting a city if one of my guy friends was like oh yeah just crash in my place okay sure yeah if I had a friend that's a girl in that City I'm oh I'm just going to get a hotel that is but what if she said just crash on my place what would you say I'm like he this's like I know she wants me this a step towards something else I'm going to get a hotel I'll FaceTime you see even that's weird see you can just call each other you don't have to do that definely more weird make yourself weird live I think it's cuz I'm I'm weird you just can't do it I actually agree I just think I'm not
16:54 mature I think I'm just not mature enough's I'll just get H tell and I'll FaceTime you yeah that's more weird I can't do it meet up and like get lunch like normal I think I just can't do it I think I'm just awkward in that way maybe I think people know that they can or can't cuz there was a guy in my summer school one time who like we had class you know the whole time together and toward the end he asked me out and I respectfully was like you know what I'm so sorry I only see you as a friend but we can totally be friends and he was like yeah I can't be friends with you and that was the last time I he's like I like you too much yeah yeah I think people he knows he knows he can't do it yeah that's why like if I have if I have close girlfriends I think they'll be like here but they'll never be able to be like the boys my inside inside cuz
17:45 we're going to try to have sex with each other I think cuz that's what's happening already it might just be one way I was going to say yeah I think the way I interact with both friends that are guys or girls it's it's actually the same I just I just send memes to them on DMS and that's how I stay in contact with longtime friends once in a great while if we do sit down to talk or whatever it's usually around business like when we went to have breakfast for buddies uh birthday we had breakfast smoked cigars and 90% of that conversation was business damn you have cigars after breakfast that's what you doing your old okay but I think most most of my life in general is around so much of people with
18:35 common interest hobbies YouTube and we're just talking about the same ████ and then it's like whenever I meet up with you we're going to continue talking about the same ████ it's never like how how are things in life how are you how are you and your wife that's going to lead to sex sex I'm like hey I'mma do a scuba diving trip with my boy that's normal right yeah like I think it would be so weird if I was I'm going to go to a scuba diving trip with this chick and it's just us two well why can't it be like four people like three girls well to me the defining thing is whether or not you guys could hang out alone I that's the defining thing you know in the group it's always a group but I think like the defining thing of whether or not two people could be friends platonically to me as if they're
19:26 alone and then I feel like that's just like so weird if I like did a trip oh it's just going to be me and this chick over here and it's like so hard to like what if she was lesbian yeah it's a good question actually cuz like the girl's like oh that's my gay best friend then it's like okay interesting but guy like actually going out doing activities with guys is way more fun than a Butch lesbian that's true like guys can just like have you tried you're just way more you don't know that John has a really good point that comparison what if you going to like a lesbian event what did you rather I don't know it's just a funny thing to say it's just that is funny imagine you're going to go with a bunch of guys to a lesbian event it's way more fun you
20:16 know I you know what I think it is it's like okay like so I know guy friends that will go out with their home girls and like they would catch up chitchat all this stuff I think I'm like Bart where I'm just not that kind of person like in general like I don't I don't hang out with guys and talk about their families and how they've been like I'm I oh it's because I think I get so excited about the common hobby or passion that we're into so when I meet up with someone all I want to do is hear what like they're building their 20 restaurants or whatever and I just get so excited of them being excited about that that we get caught up on that and then that's it so I I don't really get that personal because I'm more more interested in how I in the thing that I built the friendship with this person so like let's say I have a gun buddy and
21:06 that's all he talks about but he's so excited and obsessed about it that that's my friendship with them so it's these compartmentalized I things I see yeah they're more based on the thing than they yeah that makes sense so would you be weird out if your gun buddy was like so um how's life so he puts his hand on your and he be like oh you're not that friend yeah I'm UNC comfortable I think a perfect example is like you probably you know how girls be like guys don't know anything about their friends like you don't ask them about this thing happens and whatever that's the perfect example of you're that I'm an extreme version of that okay where're like I don't even know how many kids they have or whatever I just know one right but I think when we get together we're so like our wives probably don't want to hear us anymore talking about
21:57 the thing that we like or whatever so we're catching up so much on that interesting yeah that's different you don't have friends like that that what the way that you have friends mine are opposite most of my friends they talk about like ████ that's bothering them or like real stuff yeah because I'm not trying to be emotional tampon you are I'm just kidding but okay think about our friendship right most of our conversations are about cars jk Are hobbies and that's it yeah that's true yeah but what one day Ryan shows up and he's like I want to talk about life I'm so sad and like this just happened to me would you just be like so we turn the C going make money off we got to monetize it we got to monetize it come on
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