0:05 Welcome back to another episode of Careful Boys. Today I have thought of a very genius prompt that I thought of all on my own. >> Yeah, no one told me nothing. I just thought of it. >> I was I was in Joe's bathroom and it came to me like a uh like a miracle >> underneath the door from the whispers outside. [laughter] If you could be the ruler of a country, let's just say America, how would you go about it? >> And Jason, why did you ask that? Like, what can't what what inspired you? >> Wait, what are you talking about? Can you cut that, please? [laughter] >> It was me. >> Ryan, don't cut that. >> Oh. Uh uh. >> Yeah. How did you come up with it? You were asking me. That became >> Now it really looks like I came up with it. I I was [laughter] having a conversation and then because I
0:55 feel like [laughter] >> was that that was flawless, right? >> Yeah. Nailed it. >> The cut was going to be fine. [laughter] It's a seamless seamless be like what's so funny? Um like cuz sometimes um I don't know what I thought of it but sometimes I I want to ask that because I really want to know like um how you are as a person because your answer would cuz it's if it's your country and then um yeah if if you would let everyone suffer but then you going to be very strong like as a country and then own everybody or you know you let people have some good times and then be a smaller weaker country. You want me to blow your mind? >> Yeah. >> You think the right leader is the one
1:45 that lets the people lead him? >> Cuz the people are kind of stupid. >> I Yeah, I don't think so. I think there's a balance. >> But then but uh >> but the world's going to be like, "Oh, what a great leader. He lets the people have all this freedom and do what they want." But what ends up happening is they just irresponsible. They just want to play. Yeah. >> Yeah. But I mean there there's a balance. That's why I was asking what do you think? But but then they're having a good time though, you know? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Like if you're >> I don't know. Think about it this way, right? Everyone looks at North Korea and they're like, "Oh, what a [clears throat] horrible country. Had no freedom. Can't say nothing." But if you look at the example of South Korea which took the model of America, North Korea that took the model of Soviet Union.
2:36 North Korea doesn't have a birth problem. They're growing as people in 30, 50 years. They're going to be the only Koreans left cuz South Koreans are going to be gaunt. >> They are. >> Yeah. >> Why? >> They have a population issue. They're not having babies or something >> about industrialization. >> Oh, I see. >> And it's like what's happening inside the family doesn't matter as much. >> I personally as a citizen >> Uhhuh. >> being on the bottom rank of the world >> Mhm. >> I like Western countries cuz they give rights >> to the lowest people, >> right? >> Yeah. So like we have the freedom to work our ass off, build businesses, do whatever, right? But if you look at North Korea, we judge them, but long-term wise, they're doing better.
3:26 >> But but >> you know what I mean? Like we're not getting married. We're not having kids. We're like materialistic as ████ We just want to work and buy ████ all day. But like you look at that country, you're like, >> "But are you here for a good time or a long time?" >> I'm here for a really good time. >> That's what I'm saying. >> That's right. >> That's a good question. [laughter] >> That's why at the end of the day, I'm like, "F███ it, dude. I'm America all the way. So what what would be the way that you would rule America if that's why I was telling him if I had power >> communist all the time >> but I don't have power so America all the time [laughter] >> it's the best life for the peasants of the country >> but for the leaders of the country. I guarantee you Western leaders are jealous of communist leaders cuz they're like, >> "Oh yeah, for sure. >> You guys don't have protests. Like you
4:18 guys control all the businesses. Like >> what the ████ You don't got to do ████ >> You don't have to have elections." >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Imagine being like Xi Jinping, right? And then Alibaba is like, "The banking system is so corrupt and a China." And he goes, "Oh, really, b████?" And then he's like, [laughter] say something now, Alibaba. >> And then he's like nowhere to be found, right? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And then I bet you American politicians are just like, [snorts] >> you guys are so lucky you could do ████ like this. Like cuz they get punked by American billionaires. >> China don't get punked by their billionaires. They don't go like >> they don't have an oligarchy in China. >> No, they the the Xi Jinping is emperor Xi Jinping. >> He's like, "You [snorts] want to talk some ████ ████ Alibaba.
5:08 >> Cuz Jack Ma would be part of the oligarchy if they had something like that. >> Yeah. Jack Ma in America, if he would be the ones being like, "Hey, Obama, you better ████ do that thing I told you to do." >> Yeah. In China, all the billionaires, they have like a temporary card. >> It's like you're a billionaire if we play ball, but anytime I can pull your billionaire card and you're ████ evaporated somewhere. >> Yeah. In America is the opposite. politicians got the temporary car. >> It's like, "Hey man, remember that time I ████ campaigned your ████ >> Yeah. You want to be senator next year? >> Yeah. You better ████ cash. You better ████ do that thing I tell you to do." >> Yeah. >> Yep. So, it's the opposite. >> Yeah. >> So, in America, it's better to be a s I rather be a business-owning billionaire in America. In China, I'd rather be a
5:59 highranking politician. >> Okay. But if you said you would if you're the ruler, you would be a dictator. But then if you want to live here, you want to be in a democratic country. But if you only you could only choose one and then you have to live both. >> What do you mean you have to live both? >> Like you have to be uh like the the the ruler and then also you have to live as a poor ████ [laughter] >> Do that. >> You have to. What do you mean? Is that part of the >> You have to the question for you. >> It would suck in both situ. So [laughter] you just said be a crackhead in Skidro and be ████ Trump at the same time or be a North Korean labor slave and Kim Jong-un. >> Just homeless crackhead. >> No, not No. No. Like you you're McDonald's. >> Oh, okay.
6:49 >> But that's not fair >> at the same time. >> Not not same time. I'm saying like same life but you have to do like 20 years each. >> Ah >> 20 years McDonald's and >> you got to serve your time in each each thing. Yeah, >> I like that. That's nice. Maybe not 20 years. >> So which one would you want? >> Well, I already did 20 years McDonald's, so I'm used to that life. I don't know if [laughter] I could do a to North Korean labor camp, dude. >> I wouldn't last. [laughter] >> I'll do what I'm used to. >> Damn, dude. 20 years McDonald's. [laughter] I'd rather do 20 years McDonald's and 20 years of Trump life. Oh, >> how how how would you run a country? >> What would you do? >> I didn't I didn't really think about it. >> If you're instant ruler, >> you were thinking this whole time you've been asking me. >> Yeah, because I'm curious. >> Let's say let's say that America America made you the ruler. You're the supreme leader now. And then next thing you know, you're on a podium in front of everybody at the capital and they're
7:39 waiting for your first decree. Like, what's your first declaration? >> I'm a dictator. [laughter] >> Okay, wait. Ask me again. Everyone just went [laughter] I I I go like this. I go like this. >> 10 more years. >> The the speech, you know, I I walk on and this is my first line. Do you want to die or no? [laughter] >> Do you want to die or no? >> No, no, no. [laughter] Why would you do it for America though? Like why wouldn't you just already be a leader for a country that's used to being like controlled? >> Yeah. I'm You know what? I lied. I I don't think I would be a I I think everybody have fun. >> Oh, that's fun. >> But you know, you're only going to last like 3 years as a >> Everybody have fun >> and then they're going to kick you out.
8:30 >> So, you're only going to rain for four years. >> That's okay. But I I have some rules, though. You know >> what's your rules? >> Like um work two days a week. No, I get it. [laughter] >> No, five days a week. But >> destroy the economy. >> No, no, no. >> No, I do my best. work two days a week. >> What if what if um imagine people trying to go to the post office and mail something on Thursday? Oh, we're closed. We only work two days a week. [laughter] >> We're open on Monday and Friday. >> Like, yes, we're backed up for 5 years at the DMV. Now, we're backed up for 15 years cuz we only work two days a week. >> Sorry, you [laughter] can't get your license. >> All right, let's say that you you instantly become the supreme leader of Taiwan. >> Oh, whoa. Your first order is to decide whether or not you're going to be allies with America or more with China. What would you say? >> That's a really good one.
9:21 >> You're stressing them out. >> That's day That's day one. That's day one. Imagine that. Day one probably. No, I have to choose America though. >> [laughter] >> Really? Oh ████ >> She was I know that I >> No, because I feel like I know China is like more like uh in in the long run probably more powerful [snorts] and the chances of them being like >> Oh, yeah. >> I probably I hope so. I don't know. >> Correct. China versus America. China has the edge 30 years. >> I think you made the best choice. >> But I feel like America having more fun and then America could also always go like this. Okay, I'll bomb you though. [laughter] Do you know what I mean? Like >> ultimate Trump. >> Yeah. The ultimate they'll be like we'll throw we we'll do it. >> They'll just like detonate something we've never seen in our lives. Yeah. Exactly. >> Yeah. And >> China says we'll bomb you right back.
10:12 >> But here's the thing. That's the the I think the relationship China actually will never bomb Taiwan. And I think the relationship is like this. Do you go with your blood family >> that treats you like ████ and you hate them or do you go with a step family that actually treats you really ████ good? >> That gives you candy for three meals a day. >> Yeah. >> And you're like, "F███, what the ████ do I do?" >> And your blood family actually will not bomb you, though. They threaten it, but they won't cuz it's the same people. >> But your step family right now, if it's good, at the end of the day, they could just nuke your ass if they really wanted to. Just cuz you got all those cool technology. >> My family just nukes you [laughter] >> behind your back. >> That's ████ up. That's really messed up. >> You don't think China has fun? >> I think uh the people who are middle
11:03 class and there isn't really but like the upper class people say oh China Chinese people but it's a small amount of people like in compar but they're having a great time. But then the most of the people in China, they're they're not they don't they're not like, "Oh, I'm not having fun." Because I don't think they have a reference of uh uh what fun can be. >> I had a [laughter] lot of fun in China. >> That's not true. If you have no reference, maybe they are probably having fun. >> They party having fun in North Korea cuz they don't know anything else. >> That's very true. Quick. >> I think if they're ordered to have fun, they'll have fun. [laughter] >> Oh, and here's another dynamic. If your parents are like China and uh America, I think America also uses Taiwan as a way to get at the other parent, you know? So, you're like, "Hey, like, so you're like a puppet nation. Hey, tell your mom
11:53 she ████ a b████." >> And here's some candy. And you're like, "Oh ████ Hey, mom. Mom, you're kind of like a ████ dude." And you know, and you know your mom's not going to really ████ nuke your ass. So it's like it's a hard dynamic like who do you choose >> because your step like they give you everything you want and then you're like ha you're better than my ████ poor ass natural ones. >> That's very true. >> So what do you do which >> but I think I would go with um the step >> the step give me some candy have a good time and everybody die. But if it was um >> if it was me, I would increase the fist fighting in the Taiwanese politics cuz they always fight. >> But why increase it though? >> Cuz it's funny. >> Good viral content. [laughter] He's waiting.
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