0:00 [Music] welcome back to careful boys today Colleen is going to finally open up and tell us about her private life actually the question is no no today's question is kind of can women tell men to man the F up 100% Can women call them a little beep and also doesn't matter your tonality okay well talk around this this isue okay so I'm going to give you guys a little like slight little backstory yeah a little nugget let's get it he says to me hey I would like to take you somewhere today like breakfast we'll do a little lunch do that's nice cool right he's got this whole plan for the day like cool great
0:52 um as you know we go to coffee he pays for coffee no big deal cool great um lunch is coming around and we're trying to decide where we want to eat yeah and I'm kind of horny I know SK lunch you weak little ████ I put a blank in the back seat yeah what do you think Taco's after um and you know we're getting around the topic of where we want to eat for lunch and then um it gets to a point about like things getting pricey and you know um who's G to pay for it because he's G to pay for dinner later and like this whole thing and it just got on the topic of like who who should be paying for ████ and who's been paying lately
1:43 and wow how early is this in the relationship like a month in oh dude you go into debt in your first month of dating dude and I new credit I told first year I told him here's my thing if you're framing it in a way where friendship relationship family member doesn't matter who you say I would like to take you somewhere to eat it's on you I believe the same thing if I'm inviting if I'm inviting you whether it's friend it doesn't matter that's how I roll that's how I was raised that's how I'm about cuz I'm even with that with the boys some people some people they think that only with women right I'm with that with dudes like I'll take if I invite you guys out I'm ████ paying for you yeah dude I know guys though it was my
2:33 date idea love that it's your date idea right regardless of like well I just did breakfast earlier or I did that you invited me this plan you also don't bring that up you never bring up like well I paid for lunch I never tell someone that you owe me because here's the thing score like that dude you don't keep score with friends like bro it's either you cover it or you don't cover it un and I also to give you guys context I have paid for us before I've also given this person many jobs like thousands of dollars have gone to this person's way so it's indry you know and then okay I think I know what this is yeah well you know relationships should be 50/50 and we should help each other out that is unmanly and that I understand with certain context and
3:23 variables given like certain situations in a marriage bro in a marriage a relationship is 5050 I don't know I don't know about 50/50 because well okay some people see it differently and I think just culturally a lot of us just don't do it that way financially 50/50 yeah I mean in marriage the decisions are 50/50 like all that ████ gets split down the middle but the you handle your ████ the main thing is the fact that if you frame it in a way that you're taking somebody out it doesn't matter whether it's the entire day or just a few things if you framed it in that way don't even look at me to pay for this don't look at me the whole time don't just don't even look at me the whole time just at all um anyways
4:14 this conversation is getting heated about like who does what for who um you know him saying well you know it would just be nice to be you know helped once in a while and I'm like are you ████ right now I have done so much for you and it got to a point where I got triggered and I called him a weak little ████ yeah yeah yeah are you guys at the at the restaurant during this no we're in the car so you didn't even so you both were hangry cuz you didn't even eat lunch that's what it is oh yeah blood sugar because you could have also just been like cuz there's also a point where you could have just also like no realize how much of a waste of time this guy is and just be like nah I'm out of here well I think like so who paid for you know why it's it's not me I would be hella
5:04 disappointed typical I would be hella disappointed if my if my friend was like dude I'll ████ hook you up with this and this and this and then and then like when it comes around to it it was like they didn't perform yeah but that's me going into it and understanding like there's a lot of people that speak my language of hey if I invite you I'm taking care of you that's just how we roll but there's other cultures that don't do that I I understand that point but this person knows me has known me for a long time knows my character knows that like I handle my ████ I've taken care of my friends I've taken care of people I've given people jobs like I'm not somebody who's a gold digger I'm not somebody who's trying to take advantage of the situation it's just an unattractive thing he was doing it's just a very unattractive thing I get it so it it came off as he was saying you're not doing your part not put your
5:54 weight I see okay cuz that's different from saying like 5050 that's like saying like I'm doing all of this and you ain't doing ████ so then that's a completely different conversation it's also weirdly combative it's so combative which is too early for that ████ but here's here's why cuz I got finally like after the arguments and things started to spiral down he opened up about the fact that you know he's going through a lot of financial hardship and I'm like I just tell me that we don't got to go ████ out to eat we're good like we can make food we can do something else we go to Lemonade it's fine you know what it is dude MOS it's fine you know what it could also be cuz he probably has this idea of and pressure of what a a guy should be doing but then he's like not that so he's trying to
6:44 like mix it up and then I wouldn't ████ offer if I was broke exactly for one I wouldn't offer if I was broke I wouldn't even go out if I was broke I would just be ████ come over to my house and we'll bang like ████ skin I said this I said this to him I said in all honesty I care about you but I think you're not in a position to date anybody if you don't if you're not financially stable or at least in a position where it's not going to affect you to project it onto your partner no why the ████ are you going out and spending money if you're broke elbow macaroni is 88 cents come on that's just pick one one one time frame evening can I can we go out on the evening instead of the whole ████ day here well here's the
7:34 thing it's okay yo that's another shut up dude gas money gas money that's another ████ story he's like hey are you filling us up today yeah hey so I drove us uh what do you think I'm going to go fill up ████ you want anything on the inside um oh can can you pay for all the gas that's ████ crazy no why that that that story is I drove to Vegas he was in Vegas for work and on the way back he framed it like yeah I got you on the gas on the way back since I'm going back with you I'm like yeah cool whatever yeah thanks for the appreciate it that's nice of you nice of you cool the time that drive up to the gas station I'm driving right he does this oh oh where's oh where's my oh I don't have my wallet on me these are a really big gas station you love pumps
8:24 huh and and I look at him and I um and I go are you going to are you going to pump the gas he's like uh yeah give me your card oh yeah wait so did he forget oh hell no and I oh man look at him and I go weren't you going to get the gas he goes what I said I was going to help help like put the gas in is that what he's talking about and push the button gu gets me good more so like help as in like well how much money so what like half like five bucks 10 bucks like what's help at this point and so I get out of the car one gallon one gallon I can do two gallons that's it half a gallon take it or leave it damn bro you it suck so I slam the car door I'm like ████ it dude fill up my own gas tank tell him like dude send me ████ half 4 hours Dead Silence
9:15 driving home bro it's you know what sucks is cuz he's doing it to himself I would have stopped it there it's like he says something and then he goes back on what he saying he's making it feel like I'm ████ crazy for like holding him accountable for the things that he he offered said and offered what if he at least put his C in beep takes the pump and he goes [Laughter] okay the're go all right give me your card give me your card driv here I'm like what happened we have no ████ gas that is crazy and if you know who you are damn this is for you um sometimes people they just they do things and then worry about the consequences later right so like it's like oh I want to um show her a great
10:07 time I'm going to do all this stuff and then they just ████ go for it and then later they're just like oh ████ I can't cover it yeah that's right I just overdrafted they don't think ahead and that's just but then also like I remember I roasted the ████ out of my friend because we went to the spa together and he goes like I have a membership I'm going to hook you up so I was like oh that's tight right and then later he sent me like a bill for half off and I'm was like wait I thought you said you're going to hook me up he goes yeah I'm going hook you up with a discount because I got a membership and I'm like well in my world a hookup means free but I was like I could pay for it I don't give a ████ but we use different words and then I didn't I mean he was just like my bad I no no you don't have to cover it you know I think we just literally use different words so that was a one time thing yeah that's miscommunication that's a one time thing but it's after that I can't stop making fun of them about the hookup thing I'm I'm going hook you up for 30 cents off
10:58 you know like whatever hey let me hook you up man here's alon's coupon but in this case I just feel like some guys just ████ talk without like the the the thing to back up what they can do and that that was my biggest Coral is the fact that Integrity I'm okay like whether you're having Financial issues or not okay that's understandable but don't frame it in a way like you got it and then reig on the fact that yeah no no that that's infuriating when you called him a weak little ████ take me in that take me in that moment yeah yeah what happened what was his I'm trying to find the Double Down Show me the X's no show me the play um yeah what did he say so we're we're having a conversation it's getting heated and at that point I'm just like well you're just a weak little ████
11:50 ████ that hurt my feelings and then he goes weak little ████ weak little ████ like we did you try to pick something up heavy he should have picked something up we driving and he was like look at how strong strong I am later the Double Down happened um then his friends unfollowed me cuz I called him a weak little ████ um dude his friends unfollowed you they're weak ████ too oh and then bunch of Reddit mods yeah watch D you're on some Forum somewhere dude you're on am I the ████ somewhere I'm the ████ I am the ████ um and then later in a text thread um he's like it's so disrespectful to ever be called a weak little ████ and I was like oh sure is is that's a Le weak little b████'s words
12:40 I said to him in response to him being like you know it's disrespectful to say something like that and I said well then don't be a weak little ████ you know I'm not going to applaud that that's just rude I was I was there but that was too much come on Nick be high my JK nah dude that was I would have said that's exactly what a weak little ████ would say I like that too same longer much longer he's a word Smith I don't think in my just circle of guy friends I'd carry these type of guys around me right so that's number one cuz the thing is I don't know anyone that will have the balls to ask women to cough up to pay anything what the ████ think any of us
13:30 can do that and I don't think we carry any men around us that do that I think it's just like cuz he had known me for so long and he has seen me like always I always got it like even if I don't got it I will find a way to have it you're resourceful yeah I'm resourceful like so it's like in his mind and I'm just speculating he thinks well she's got us regardless and I'm like M now now we're dating so now it's I wouldn't ever feel like like a man you know what I mean okay so maybe it's just me in a relationship great so I'm not crazy guys you're not C you did really well actually because this is what I truly believe is a guy should genuinely want to take care of their woman regardless of her financial situation cuz she could come from a loaded family
14:21 but there's still ways to take care of her and make her feel protected and financially physically every way possible so it's like like she doesn't have to think yeah so I I don't know like that's kind of the sit even I had a dead beat as Dad but even he uh while he was around still played that role so I think like there's still ways that you can contribute and provide and make her feel protected you got to be proactive without being like baby can you take care of me the thing was it it started to feel like a tally like I did X YZ okay now your turn that's so weird that to me that was like that's an easy way for you to resent your partner resent everything that you have from the jump dude 100% yeah and that's that's what was building but also I don't even I don't like that from women either so
15:11 it's like just in general in a relationship or a friendship like I don't well it's disingenuine I think I think that's like one of the four horsemen of like breakups or something is like one of them is keeping score that's like one of the main reasons why people break do something if you aren't doing it genuinely any here's here's the thing it's only a month yeah that's wild it's absolutely wild like a year you know like and obviously he likes her so he wants to see her but then when he's saying let's hang right he's not preparing for it he's not planning a hit no no he's wing wing wing and the times that we have gone to places and he has paid for things guys I'm not he's it's not completely request after and also he hits you with a request $50 for the but like even like the the one date that we did go on it was a place I suggest she's
16:03 not planning is just yeah the planning aspect and like the it's hard sometimes aspect and well I mean like it just blows my mind how um he has no embarrassment agreed cuz like he might be embarrassed the fact that he's no I mean like the fact that he can ask you and fight you that means he's he feels like he's in the right I would be too embarrassed to bring up that I had just paid for a bunch of ████ and I would basically go kill myself after you know what I'm saying just the way that I was brought up I can't even hang that I can't even say this my mom's for sure watching this so my mom's probably laughing um cuz my I I called my mom and I talked to my mom about this and as soon as the weak little ████ Park came every every time I talk to somebody about this she's like laughing off the side of the ████ phone she's dying
16:55 and she's like well clean she's like I get it like you just kind of like castrated the man those words and I'm like yeah but also like don't act that way though you might castrate is a good word you said that though take me inside the female brain for a second yeah when you said that you were already done with this when I said that the only thing that I thought in my mind and fell in my heart was those words yeah so you were done with them being honest you were done with I was being honest it just like yeah is this you saying CIA but is there do you think there would not ever be more so like heated in the moment and I said it because that's all I felt um with all the accumulation of events up until that point but I was still willing to like like talk it out and work it through like I know it's not so black and white um you just had to say it but
17:47 it was the fact that he was like doubling and tripling down on the fact that like I did this horrendous thing and I was so disrespectful and I called him a weak little ████ and like you know friends and people people who have love for each other should never do that and I'm like like well you're ████ acting like one do you think that um if he came around and he responded differently said you know what thank you I I I I realized that I had you know maybe actually there's other but if he owned it somewhat he that's a redeeming quality so if you can bounce back from some ████ like that cuz I was thinking about if someone ever called me that um and I never really got called that but if if I if I if I never been called that every once if I was told that that ████ especially from someone that I was dating and I know that like cuz essentially the
18:39 person that you're dating wants you to be the best version of yourself they don't just ████ say ████ you know I'm not saying this to hurt you yeah like not like it's hurtful it's hurtful but I'm not say wake the ████ up is is what you're saying and we keep on having this conversation exactly and so like I would go wait hold the ████ up what in doing that so God dang weak yeah but if you said that she probably would have said the other thing that's the thing cuz well the thing is he's holding on to his idea of what is righteous which is in my opinion weak as ████ but she also gave him a good piece of advice too which is that he's just not ready to date right now like and even and he disagreed with that so but even if even if let's say cuz you may disagree with that right no no no I said that's exactly cuz yeah if you're so you
19:31 might disagree with this at home you're ████ Reddit mod but but like if you're if you want to date someone like when I was dating Nikki I would have done anything to keep seeing her because I was addicted to seeing her it's like that you make it work you make it work so like I would have you know whatever I had to do sold my movie collection like whatever I had to do to make sure I could keep on like you can do cheap dates you know what else is dope too if you're with somebody who isn't looking at it from such a like uh a money stance and actually has care and love for you like we're willing to work through that exactly cuz that's cuz I'm like dude if you already have her then you go be like hey let's watch Netflix and ████ all day at my house and that's it what that cost Advantage come clean make a sandwich yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm
20:23 hungry I don't got money it it should be 2 years mandatory you take care of her mhm by yourself like it you know what I'm saying like because when when I had my lady it was one year of just me taking care of her with all the food and just ████ second year she moved in did you ever ask her once to take care of something or ever like make her feel guilty for not paying for something no it's because I wanted I wanted to take her out and by the third year she moved in by the third year she moved in and I took care of all the bills all of the women that I've dated to have noticed that something needs to be done and and they just step up yeah and I think that's like the unspoken teamwork that everyone should have is just like and that's what happens they're feeling some type of void some value whatever they see that
21:13 something needs to be done and if they are lazy it doesn't last you will have more confidence and security with yourself and the dynamic in the relationship if you're not financially stressed yeah absolutely and that's and it's okay to take that time or again be vulnerable in a sense that is transparent enough to where I understand the gravity of the situation so I can make the choice of like okay like maybe we can compromise on certain things or we don't have to go out we can work through it but yeah you just got to have at least Integrity don't know well I hate to be woooo too but like to me it's not attractive to show people that you have a lack of money mindset and I just don't think that that will help you also grow in your wealth at all money don't make money baby to me
22:05 that's not I don't know man I've been broke as ████ and I'm still getting laid but it's just the mentality of like what kind of why you're you're in a s█████ situation cuz you're digging your own grave by going worse into it like for me I'm like if someone already likes me then we can ████ bone next week this week let me get my money right and then next week we'll ████ hang out and then it's like they's still going to be around yeah the boundaries are attractive too right cuz it's like hey sorry I can't meet up like that's that's totally attractive it's just I don't know how I can't see this week I'm saving money and that's cuz it's planning it's planning and that's intentional right that's what I so two things I don't like about this guy he doesn't plan and he's not us and and he he's not us I think the reason why he was responding in these ways too cuz he doesn't want to hurt his ego too so he has to make up
22:57 all these things even though he knows he can't back it up so I don't think my statement helped his ego it kind of hurt my ego too here in that story I don't even know this guy what Jo hey what Joe said is right though you got it just everything has to be planned accordingly you can't do it today that's fine blah blah blah blah what for dinner last night I almost wanted to kill myself [Music]
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