0:05 You have to participate in this, okay? You got to pick something. You can't You can't be like, "Nothing." All right. >> never do that. All of you guys. Okay. Easy peasy. Okay, let's say that you're in charge of society now. You have to choose things that women are no longer allowed to do. Easy. And you have to choose things that guys are not allowed to do. Okay. Porn. Which Like consume it or be in it? >> [laughter] >> Be in it. No, never mind. They'll never be able to destroy porn. Why? Did you just You just remembered who's behind it, huh? But if we make it like, let's say this new society we're trying to create >> Yeah. If it's just If everything is just a death penalty Oh, that's hardcore. >> Maybe it wouldn't If you say no more porn, maybe they won't make porn. >> You're basically in a way just changing the constitution. So, you're taking rights away. Ooh. What are the women no longer allowed to do? Work.
0:55 They can't work? >> [laughter] >> So, no more nurses? So, it's Um specifically the constitution, like our American one? Yeah. Well, I don't even know what what women are allowed to do. I don't Okay, I I know I know a good one. Oh. You got to take stuff away. You could You could make new You could make new things to take away, but that were never you know. Okay, so women are not allowed to complain and men have to stay with the person that they ████ Dude, the first ████ Yep, first ████ So, we're all illegal. We're all Except for Except for That means I think that would actually help society so much. I think it would help society. Women are not allowed to complain and men are not allowed to ████ around. And if you do it, it better be the one. She better be the one, dude. Dissect more of this not allowed to complain thing. What is that?
1:47 What do you mean? Complain about what? Complain too much, man. But how How do you gauge? How do you gauge? Like uh What's the vibes? It's style, yeah. What's the line? >> What's complaining, dude? >> What's line between between them addressing a concern and complaining? When you don't do nothing about it, you say it over and over and over and over. Oh, >> [laughter] >> here it is. Here it is. You know how You know how the thing is? Like they're like, "Oh, um they're not asking you to solve their problem. They just want you to listen." No, the rule is you say some ████ we're solving the problem. [laughter] I got a better one. I got a better one. >> Good one. Cuz I always get in trouble for that. >> Yeah, you say it or solve it or don't say it. I got I got a better one, okay? Women are not allowed to gossip. Come on. >> Yeah, women are not allowed to gossip. >> economy, dude. >> No, you can't, dude. You can't do that.
2:38 It's going to crumble the world. >> But guys gossip, dude. >> gossip because that's how we we find out who's dangerous or not. >> games? Even you gossip over sports games? >> We need it. >> Well, can you have simulated gossip the way they do on reality shows? Cuz that's going to be How do you do that? Because they're just acting, you know, right? That's a Yeah, yeah. How about for both, mandatory confessionals, dude? >> Mandatory conf Mandatory confessionals. So you have to tell a priest what you did? >> Have to tell a priest. >> All your sins? >> Being recorded the whole time, dude. It's being NSA-style, dude. So we can get to track people, I think. NSA? So it's on a public uh database somewhere? Yeah, by the government that I run. ████ Edward Snowden's going to know >> everything, dude. Any Anybody says you did a crime, I'm ████ listening. I'm snitching, dude. I'm going to come after you. Wow. Male and female. Surveillance state. Are they crimes or are they sins?
3:29 Both. But holy moly. are crimes. Wow. crimes, but certain sins are crimes. And I'm going to be listening, dude. >> Well, when the no gossip law comes in, then yeah, that's just I keep gossip. I keep gossip, but you have to go I I want to go back to a Catholic state. I want to go back to Joe's thing of uh whoever you ████ Yeah. That's it. Cuz I think the the concept behind it cuz I think everything is like you choose this and like what's the result? >> That's pretty cool, yeah. >> intended purpose? I think if we go back to like I guess a more core, more primitive, less complex and keep things simple idea, it would be like uh the chick is giving up her punani. I applaud you for using legal terms. >> Yeah, and that's her her vows and I'm I'm yours, but it's also the dude's duty
4:19 to go I'm taking care of you for the rest of my life. So the rest of our lives. >> Yeah. Yeah, so then that way it's like it's not just like I'm ████ putting my puss-puss everywhere. But then but then doesn't that negate uh men and women who are purposefully wanting to be a little s- promiscuous? No, I don't think not in this if we're trying to make society better. >> Oh, so they just get they got to go to uh Brazil for that now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Brazil or The way I see it is more like think of all the issues that come along with promiscuity. Like it's fun and yeah, you can be a responsible adult behind it, but most people aren't. Okay. >> And then like all the damage that comes from, you know, cheating and like and just using Yep, once you give up the puss-puss, you guys do whatever the ████
5:10 you want inside of them, but you also got to take care of her really well. So like what's it just what it is is actual penetration is the line. Oh, you're trying to loophole this ████ like a like a Mormon boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So what's the line for like I think vagina vaginal and anal. >> [laughter] >> and hand hand, too. A head job? >> the minute you I think As soon as you touch genitals. Yeah, touch genitals, anything, then you got to take care of them and they're your responsibility. They all can only look at it. They can't touch. Once you touch my urologist >> [laughter] >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's in the cards. >> I'm only thinking about how do you have a more like better world? Well, I know I know I know I got one. Might be silly, but I think this is important. I'm going to make BBLs illegal, dude. I'm going to make butt
6:00 implants illegal. Why? Cuz it makes you too horny? No, I just think it's bad for everybody. >> [laughter] >> In what way? In what way? It gives unrealistic expectations of glutes, right? That already is terrible. They're bad health-wise. It's a weird thing. You have to sit It's It's just a weird to me, dude. It's weird injecting fat into your ass. I think it's bad. >> Centaurs? I don't like that. I'm not a horse guy. All right. I think it uh I think it's just bad for everybody. >> Okay. Okay, so no BBLs. All right. Is there any Is there an equivalent uh for guys? Like if you got a >> That should be ████ illegal. Propofol? Was it? >> But that's not like it's not a pent like >> Oh, it's synthol. Synthol. What the Guys get BBLs. That's illegal, too. I think all body modifications that aren't medical.
6:50 Really? So, what about like the light ones like uh like facelifts, Botox, like uh the Korean one? They need it. The eyes one. >> No tattoos. >> No double eyelids. You getting You getting No double eyelids. >> [laughter] >> YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE YOURS REMOVED? >> SUPER ILLEGAL, but I'm I'm part of the the bad society. I think if we're trying to make a good society >> Oh. >> Yeah. Rules for thee, but not for me. And even the the the ████ in the ████ ████ rules, too. The ████ ████ rules? >> Just so you know cuz you know what sucks, too, is like when what is it called? You start phasing out of like the ideal mating range. I don't want anyone left behind, too. So, I think I would have it where uh you have to get booted up by 25. You have to. And if you don't Jail. No,
7:42 the ones that you get that left over then we'll we'll have government organizations to help them speed date. >> [laughter] >> You know the ones that get No, cuz you YOU KNOW WHEN PEOPLE ARE like cuz it's such Can Soviet Bart, dude. Cuz it sucks to be like the guy the guy that's like always gets last picked for the basketball game. >> They just need more help. They just need more help. And then they just need they just need to get paired up with whoever the last chick. But then after that way everyone has the same happiness and quality of life. Wow. >> can still get their dick sucked. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ooh. Wait, so are you saying that mandatory dick sucking marriage? Yeah. >> [laughter] >> I just put words in your mouth. Ooh, I'm going to make it illegal to not You have to when you're growing up in school, everybody has to play a sport. Everybody. >> That's nice. Everybody. And they're going to do it like China style where
8:32 they make you do tests and they go, "Oh, you'll be good for this. We put you in swimming. You'll be good for the broad jump. You're going to be in track. You're going to be good for wrestling." >> to make a baby do the double basketball dribble and move around. I mean, that's >> [laughter] >> For wushu, you already have the perfect body type. I would make it illegal. I'm going to call this the the the Goob Amendment where you if you in any way are in the business of selling something using your image, you go to jail if you doctor your image. Ooh. >> Straight to jail. You know what I mean? Like if you're in any kind of business that that matters and people like look to you for something, you can't alter the way you look. >> in your marketing. It's ████ up. Yeah, for sure. That's a good one. >> That's a good one. >> I'd make that for for guys and girls. And then girls have to take a shower
9:22 every day. Yeah. >> [laughter] >> Illegal if you What if there's a drought What if there's a drought in their area? Do guys, too. Everyone has to shower every day. Yeah, guys have to Guys and girls have to shower every day. I like that one. I like that one. Okay. Everyone has to get a haircut every 2 weeks. >> [laughter] >> Cuz you're doing hygiene. >> If you're caught Yeah, they're going to call it uh you can't be caught lacking clause. >> [laughter] >> The like your cut G clause. Yeah, you have to be faded up at all times. >> [laughter] >> It keeps the economy good. It keeps it keeps it going. More stuff that women can't do. Take some Take some women's rights away. More stuff? >> Yeah, what do you think? Can't eat too much. What's too much? >> [laughter] >> Can't be fat. >> Yeah, that would be it. Be fat. >> Yeah. Just can't be fat. >> Can't be fat.
10:12 >> [laughter] >> What's fat? What's the weight limit? >> What's the punishment if you're fat? >> No, but if you're pregnant, you're okay cuz you're you're building you're building members for a nation. Oh, okay. But I think Yeah, you can't you can't be fat. But once that baby's out, right Joe? >> But what if you're what if you're National Guard? Only orphan only orphanage ladies? Orphanage ladies. >> And kindergarten teachers can't be fat. Can't be. >> Can. Oh, can? Yeah, cuz >> Kindergarten teachers? >> Cuz fat aunties give the best hugs. I thought you were going to say head. That's true. It's good for a child's self-esteem. No, cuz then like you know when you're when you're a kid and then you hug a fat teacher, it's like you you have a big couch that you hug. You sink into her. She's so nice, you know? It's actually pretty nice, yeah. And the skinnier ones were
11:02 scarier to me. >> [laughter] >> They were like meaner. Yeah, I felt like that, huh? They're hungry. That's true. Well, well, then there you go. There's a nice correlation between fatter people being nice, right? Yeah, but then for regular society there's no purpose. There's a purpose to the fat. There the purpose >> You're not raising kids? is you need to be a warm person for the orphans. Cuz imagine if everyone was fit, then you have less like problems like diabetes health problems. >> then health insurance is lower for everybody. The pharmaceutical companies won't be so profitable. >> Yeah, we're going to be free health care. Yeah, it'll just remove it'll just be way cheaper to to like service a bunch of healthy people. Okay, okay. But guys can be fat. Wow, really? Why? How is that useful to society?
11:52 Because sometimes fat guys are strong as ████ >> [laughter] >> Like a powerlifter. And then we need those guys to work on construction sites. >> [snorts] >> Do you need fat guys on construction sites? So if they're fat, they have to be strong. Fat strong. >> But if they're just fat, they're >> they're gamer fat? Nope, useless. Yep, lipo. Yeah. Government mandate. >> [laughter] >> program >> Yeah. And they cut their stomach in half, whatever that surgery is. Ozempic. Mandatory Ozempic. >> [laughter] >> Gastric bypass. Uh would you guys change anything about like the right to vote in any way? Would you um add any stipulations? Yeah, nobody votes. You got to be quizzed. >> Nobody votes. >> Nobody votes. Oh, yeah. We have a suggest We have a suggestion box. Be but I'm like >> government can take it or leave it.
12:43 >> I'm going to model my government after uh Lee Mr. Lee Kuan Yew. ████ Mr. Singapore. He is the best dictator, I feel like ever. And you can't get ████ done when you got a bunch of idiots trying to tell you what to do. That's true. >> I think if you vote, you have to pass a standardized test. So if you >> that. And you have to know about the props. You got to know about all about the laws. You got to know everything. And if you get placed low on that standardized test, your vote is like a quarter vote. That's what I think. >> You know how I see like running a country? I see it as like why is this toddler trying to tell me what they're like what's better. Like they're Of course a toddler is going to be like I want candy for dinner Yeah. cuz they're not thinking about what's best for them in the world.
13:34 They're thinking about like what do I want for me and what makes my life easier and I feel like that's how a lot of citizens think. All they just want is like no taxes. Why? Cuz I don't want you to ████ take my money. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, or they want like hey, you do it for me but I'm not going to ████ work in government but you do it for me. Free health care. Yeah. What it might be easier just to say no voting. No voting. No voting. Forget the cyanide test. There's too much paperwork and no one's going to do it. No voting. We tried having testing. We just realized no voting. Yeah, give me a suggestion box. You don't have to do a voter ID. You don't have to do any of that stuff. That's true. There's no real voting anyway. And then like let's say if we're going to pass like let's say we're going to pass some law on like building a dam or some ████ right? I only want like people that know
14:28 ████ about that to tell me ████ Dam people. Yeah. Give me the dammers. Give me the dammers only. >> [laughter] >> Like hey, you're ████ a fine ass dude. What do you got to do about a dam? >> [laughter] >> It was a piece of all of us in this. I think dictatorships work when the dictator's dope. Yeah. If he's a chill If it's Well, yeah, I guess that's true, right? Yeah. Singapore is, dude. That ████ was a piece of crap swamp and now it's like Asian Wakanda. Yeah, it is. And they're their whole like they're very like conscious about keeping the earth the way it is. Like they're very environmental. The way they recycle water like everything. Everything just runs so efficiently. It's dope. It is the Asian Wakanda.
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