0:00 Do you think that your mom could have done better than your dad? >> I was just thinking about this, honest to god. >> Really? >> What? No way, dude. >> What? In real life? >> in the context of cuz people like to do this game all the time, right? And I was like, I wonder if like my mom and dad who who could have done better. I think that my dad bought high. >> Really? >> Yeah, I think he bought the high. >> You know what I mean? Yeah, that's your game. >> was a depreciating asset? >> I I think because she had four kids, she couldn't help it. >> Oh. >> kids. And she's not like, you know, doing yoga every minute of the day or whatever. >> Oh. >> So my dad bought the ████ absolute ████ high. >> So you think your dad is out of your mom's league? >> I think that yeah, I mean, when I hug my dad now, I'm hugging bones basically. My dad is like a ████ skinny man.
0:51 >> Yeah. >> And uh has like, you know, he has type two diabetes, so he's had to keep himself like a certain way. And uh that's my statement. >> [laughter] >> He's so stupid. >> That's my statement at this time. Thank you so much. >> he diabetic and not fat? >> He had to get himself down to his high school weight to not have >> Oh, he was fat. >> Yeah, you to not die, basically. >> Big boy. >> So then like what about like at the point that your mom and dad started dating, could your mom have done better than your dad at that point? >> No, I think they were pretty pretty matched. Yeah. >> Oh, yeah, okay. >> Okay. >> I think so. >> Just in the long term, the crash happened. >> I think he wasn't he didn't know she was going to have four bowling balls coming out of her like in a couple of years, you know what I'm saying? Like that takes its toll. >> Dang, yeah. >> Yeah. >> Okay, that's fair. >> thinking about this when you saw your parents and you're like, "Yeah, you could have done so much better." >> I don't know. I didn't really think
1:42 about it in terms of my parents. I thought it'd be funny for your guys' parents. No, my mom would be like, I think I think when I look at photos of them, my dad was pretty freaking stylish, man. >> Mhm. >> He had like all the coolest clothes and he has a lot of pride in that now today. Like he always tells me how whack my stuff is and how he had all the best stuff. And in in those photos it's true, his stuff was always Lacoste, he had Adidas three stripe, he had some cool like Members Only jacket. He just looked like a cool guy. My mom was more of like the innocent, very like traditional, nice, innocent, like virgin lady. >> [snorts] >> You know what I mean? So I'm sure like to her that was like, "Wow, I'm with a really cool guy." Damn. You know what I mean? But then as we all know those, you know, I don't know how common it was to see women like that back then. Maybe it was it's like freaking seeing a unicorn now.
2:33 But back then, I mean, I think my mom could have had her pick, too. She just happened to choose the freaking cool dude. >> My the way my mom talks about it is that she got with a street rat. >> [laughter] >> Really? >> Yeah. >> So Riff Raff? >> Sorry. >> Yeah, cuz the way my mom my mom view So how my mom views herself is she's like in Taiwan, uh graduated college, corporate nine-to-five job. My dad is like this refugee guy, didn't make it past junior high. >> Oh, yeah, that's true. >> And is like has to leave like my mom never would have left Taiwan. Like Taiwan's a awesome country, right? Like she would never have left uh Taiwan, but because there's this refugee that's bouncing around trying to escape ████ communism and all that other ████ And once he once they fell in love, he's like, "Well, I guess I'll have to leave Taiwan if I'm going to marry this guy."
3:25 But I think I don't know if my mom ever got over that she was better than him. >> Oh, wow. >> I I that's why I don't think it it lasted. >> Damn, okay. >> Cuz I don't think she ever let my dad >> She could feel that she had settled for it. >> I don't think she ever would have let my dad be the man, you know? Because in her brain she's probably like, "I'm smarter, I'm this, I'm this, I'm this." >> That's why they fought. >> And and I got to listen to you? >> Mhm. >> That's the real Aladdin, too, dude. That's the real Return of Jafar. >> That's the real return of Jafar. >> And Jafar could have given her everything. >> Yeah. >> Right. Like she should have chose Jafar. He could have given her everything. >> A ████ noodle. >> He wasn't a fake prince. Like he was actually rich. >> became a genie. >> He didn't even lie to her like that. >> When you watched Everything Everywhere All at Once >> ugly. >> I only watched the first part of it. >> Oh. >> I didn't watch I didn't watch the whole thing. >> just the first part of it? >> have a kid, you can't watch you can't
4:15 watch full movies. >> Didn't that didn't that resonate with you emotionally because that's kind of what happened? >> Uh I only got to the part where they started uh start tripping and ████ in the ████ elevator. >> Is this good content? Is this good content? >> If you only got there, then yeah. The resolution basically that's what it's about. It's about how he promised her this better life and he couldn't deliver. >> Don't spoil it. >> Don't spoil it. Cuz in 8 years, he's going to come back and he's like, "Yo, this is a good movie." >> No, Taika's 9 now. I can start to watch movies full length now. >> He's going to text us in 6 months and say he watched it. >> [laughter] >> At 3:00 in the morning. >> You'll like it cuz it's very similar to that. >> Yeah, it's like that. >> Right, right. Okay. What about your mom? You think she could have done better than your dad when she was at her peak hotness? >> I think if you uh peak hotness. I think my mom was a catch. Um >> You still think she's a catch, right? >> Always. I think my mom was super hot.
5:05 Um >> [laughter] >> You know what? I think I think my mom was like simple charm. You know? Uh like it was the my dad the first time he like, I guess uh wooed her, if you will. >> Did he have to try really hard to get her? >> Well, it's cuz he would come over to her cousin's house because they were in the Vietnamese Boy Scouts and they were doing Vietnamese Boy Scout ████ in Hawaii. And then so she would be there uh living there or whatever. And then she didn't know how to drive. My dad was a taxi driver. It was like one of his first jobs. So he taught her how to drive. And that's like and you know, you're driving stick back then. It's just probably his swag just to be able to ████ teach us >> So they met in Hawaii? >> In Hawaii. >> Wow, that's cool. >> They both were refugees uh that left Vietnam, so >> Two street rats. >> So, from Yeah, I think they were >> He's like, "I'm [laughter] going to teach you how to drive stick. I'm going
5:55 to teach you I'm going to teach you how to drive stick. And then I'm going to teach you how to drive stick." >> [laughter] >> Yeah, so I think they were just kind of like simple and cute and it worked out. >> Okay. >> I think seeing how my dad's like life has panned out and how my mom's is, I think if I had I had I had to answer it now, I'm like, "Damn, dude, my mom got lucky." >> Oh, yeah? Wow. In what way? >> I'm I'm just cuz of my dad is like Yeah, I'd say he's like me and my sister's like hero. >> Wow. >> You know? >> Yeah. >> Just the way he is, the the what he's done with his life, the way he is in his community. >> Yeah. >> You know, and uh >> Aside from beating you up and yelling at you? >> Yeah, I mean, that's what makes him a good hero. >> [laughter] >> Is your mom a big zero? >> No. She's the She's the partner that like makes sure the hero stays alive, though. >> Oh, that's cool. >> And You know what I'm saying?
6:45 >> Yeah. What do you mean by that? >> His food is cooked every day. You know what I mean? His clothes is cleaned every day. His ████ is washed or whatever, you know? And it's like >> Right on. >> It just works like that. And and I think my more naive ass before would have just been like, "Damn, my mom got lucky. Dude, my dad's like blah blah like how come my mom blah you know?" Now now I have a kid and stuff and I'm like >> "He got lucky." >> Yeah, so it's a lot of >> Cuz if she didn't if he didn't have that support, he would have probably been gambling somewhere like smoking a cigarette like, "F███, I lose again, man. What the f███?" >> Yeah, probably. >> Kind of, you know? >> Yeah, I think my mom needed my dad and my dad needed my mom. Like my dad My mom talks about all the time about how you know, my dad was gone all the time, but he he definitely did his job of bringing home the bread and she did her job of taking care of the kiddos. >> Like I come home now and I still hear
7:35 the same complaint like three, four times from my dad and it's like it's endearing now. It's really funny how he like straight talk ████ on my mom. >> What did he say? >> And he's just saying stuff like You know, your mom she she wants to cook what she likes only, but I'm the one who's eating it. And then when I say this is what I like >> even eat it. >> I'm like I'm like this is what I like. Can you cook this? She's like, "No, that's not good. That's not good. I like cooking this." So she cooks it and then she said, "I'm not going to I'm not going to eat dinner." But then she cooks me what I don't like, so I don't finish it and then she finishes it. That's why I eat more than her and she's fatter than me. >> I eat more and she's fatter. >> [laughter] >> AND HE SAID this like four different times to me and you know, I was cracking up. >> [laughter] >> Same story. >> Wait, why doesn't your mom make what he
8:25 likes? >> Because he's saying that she wants to eat the scraps. She wants to play I'm not going to I'm not going to eat dinner. I'm not I don't eat dinner. >> Oh, that's freaking funny. >> She wants to eat what she wants. >> Yeah, yeah. But then he's not going to finish that food. >> Yeah, that's funny. >> thing is like my mom eats straight up like let's say we all eat steak like a ribeye. Like it's a lucky night we cook some ribeye, right? And sometimes you cut the fat off. You're just eating the meat. You just cut the fat off. My mom used to eat the fat. >> Oh, wow. >> She She might take two bites of the actual meat but I'm full, but I can eat everyone's fat. I'll be like, "Mom, that's not healthy for you. You know that, right?" And then she says, "It's okay. Tastes good." >> Is your mom on the huskier side? >> She's not husky, but it's like for all that she does to like pretend that like trying to lose weight or not eat dinner or something like that, it's like
9:16 it's amazing it's amazing she's alive. Like it's it's wonderful how little she she complains about her gout and all this stuff, you know, what I mean? >> a charade. >> Gets this knee surgery, goes through rehab, does all these life choices that I'm like it's only now actually it's probably most healthy that she's been cuz she has to she has to take care of Lana when she she here. And now she has to go and down the stairs because my house has stairs. >> Yep. >> A lot of stairs. >> And then now she takes she takes long long walks and stuff like that, but she goes for like 30 plus minutes. The most exercise she's ever done. >> That's awesome. >> But now it's like getting better, but my dad talking ████ and calling her fat while she's not there is honestly the funniest thing. >> [laughter] >> It's the funniest thing. >> And he has to describe it. >> Yeah, and he's doing it in in English so Nina can understand. But we've heard the story. >> What about your mom, Joe? >> Dude, um
10:06 So every single time uh I post a picture of my parents like hella girls just come through and goes, "Your dad, your dad, oh my god, I would have ████ marry him." And then so like he's my dad so I don't see him that way. But like they ████ thirst so hard. I get I don't I don't get as much as attention as as my dad does when I do >> A bunch of people thirst for your father? >> Yeah, young young young dad. Young Joe dad. When I there's old pictures every time I posted whatever about family that's just hella girls comment and go, "What the ████ Your dad, your dad, your dad." And I'm just like, "Maybe my mom like she just chose looks only and she didn't give a ████ about anything else." >> Damn, that's a good hit. >> Yeah. And then so I was like, "That's why I have this
10:56 piece of ████ for a dad, but she was like, "I got my thirst fixed." >> [laughter] >> Dude. But think about it, like if he's got ████ the swag >> Yeah. >> and he's playing music >> Yeah. >> like I don't >> ain't >> It's like Ryan anime, but like he doesn't even have to be a good person. >> And he was still a dick. >> But that's how he kept cheating on my mom and ████ cuz he couldn't the girls were throwing themselves at him. >> Honestly, like are you can you blame him then? That's ████ up. Dude, you >> I can't blame him. >> Dude, look at ALL >> I'M HORNY, TOO. >> IT'S ALL this ████ just being thrown at you. You can't help it. >> ████ thrown at me like he does. That's why. >> Well, it's cuz you choose not to ████ the fans. You could if you wanted to. >> [laughter] >> I know, but I don't know. He did more than I did. >> [snorts] >> It's you you're a genetic fan ████ >> [laughter] >> What the hell? >> What about you, brother? What about you?
11:46 >> What about uh >> Your parents? >> Oh, I said yeah. My my mom was like if you look at old photos, my mom looked like you know, like Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island. >> No way. >> kind. >> hot as ████ >> Well, she was like she was just pretty and like you wholesome cute. Like she was obviously a virgin. >> Cuz she was my favorite. >> Mary Ann was my favorite. >> But the trouble was she was overshadowed by Ginger. >> Oh, I don't like Ginger at all. >> Ginger. Ginger. >> She just chose my dad. >> She chose my dad who was more like like the he was a very good-looking cool guy that was very popular. >> Yeah. >> And so like he was also kind of a screw-up. And he had to kind of like fix his life to deserve my mom. >> Mhm. >> So in the beginning when they were dating, he had to like prove himself a lot. Even though like you know, it's like when the cool guy everyone loves, but then the girl that he wants doesn't want him. That's the kind of dynamic they had.
12:36 >> I see. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. We keep hearing about your dad. Let's let's talk more about your mom now, brother. >> [laughter] >> Do you have any photos? Does she have pigtails? >> mom. >> Like this much. >> Yeah, you can we get some photos though? >> You told us about your dad how cool he is. He's the coolest guy. He was cool. >> mom just that's what she looks like. >> Talk about the whole like the virgin part again with your mom. >> The Mary Ann part. >> She was she's never been with nobody but my dad. >> Mhm. Say it again. >> Can we can you bring like a a 30 30 picture slideshow of your mom? >> I I only have baby pictures of her. >> [laughter] >> What the hell? >> Hey, WE'RE DOWN BAD. >> HEY, WHO HERE THINKS THEIR MOM'S the hottest of this room? >> What what age? What age? What age? What age? What age? >> It just the winning mom of all five of us. >> Probably. >> No, what? >> are the hottest. >> I'll probably yeah, I'll probably go with this one. Based off what I like. >> always the hottest. >> Based off what I heard. Would. >> [laughter] >> I'm about to be like, "Yo, where's the
13:26 baby pigs at?" >> You got any breastfeeding ones?
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