0:00 [Music] all right a little pop quiz how long do you guys think it takes with the technology that we have through nasa or any spacecraft to reach mars from earth two years right yeah i was going to say two and a half my honest answer where did you guys get those numbers i just guessed oh what do you guys think i think we probably have the technology right now but they're not giving it to us because i just recently saw this meme where i get my science from [Laughter] the inventor of a stealth bomber right he he quote he was quoting um and i don't know if this is ████ real but he was in front of a stealth bomber and it said that the technology that we have you can't even like basically whatever you imagine we probably have it
0:52 that was anything yeah they're like it's they're just light years beyond what the military has and whatever it's just it's incomprehensible to the average person so also you know the whole ufo sightings and all that stuff they're saying that's just just government crafts that they're testing whoa yeah they do say it's like the military is like 25 years ahead of normal commercial technology that's pretty cool so according to nasa uh it takes 500 days so yeah you're right oh it's like a little bit over almost two years a real year under two years but according to a new group of canadian engineers who have developed a new laser system it could cut time down to 45 days 45 days if you don't believe it what does that mean like they just shine a light please
1:42 okay so like what they do is they shrink you guys to us to a molecule of course and then they shoot you in the laser and they pee so what you're explaining is the technology that willy wonka used to shrink mike tv no rick moranis no it's more like the one that well willy wonka came out before you know roald dahl wrote that that book way before honey i trust kids i'm not saying maybe their technologies are based on each other oh yeah that's true what do you how do you think the laser could make that faster ████ dude you're asking the wrong side from a muay thai perspective is it from the elbows use the angle don't stick your thumb out and just swipe oh ████ he's got the laser technology in 45 days [Laughter] i just pictured a canadian nerd holding a ████ laser pointer and going see 45
2:34 days [Laughter] 45 days thank you so we just have to sit here for 45 more days so what i understand is this right like you have earth you have the sun if the earth is going around the sun like this then you have mars going around the sun but everything is going this way so it has to be very accurately timed because you can run into asteroids run into moves run into everything so the lasers probably help with i think there's only one moon right or there's other movies you said moods we're really going from earth to mars the other planets so i don't know smaller moons wait there is no other planet is there what do you mean i'm not i'm
3:25 thinking about it no mercury goes mercury venus no no i mean like there's nothing between earth yeah you're right yeah but it's going like this right earth is spinning at a certain rate there is no other place there's no other planets like what other planets mars is spinning at a certain rate and they got so you gotta i'm interested i want to make the first pluto now all yeah you got to catch them at the right time and you have space debris and you have all that ████ okay space trash so you can easily smash your ████ space shut onto something if it's too fast so you want to be fast enough to where you'll be like oh asteroid and then you couldn't do move like a game you know like the asteroid game it is very close to that so wouldn't i there will be a time with like where the sun is in between the earth and mars you know so you can't go through that also got to plan it out wow look at all the black holes out there bro you gotta worry about that too it's
4:16 underrated why don't people just ████ use a black hole i heard that you could go through one black hole and go through the other one you see that movie event horizon i was molested back that movie scared the ████ out of me wait what event horizon yeah they because this is what they do they send a space team out to ████ saturn okay they get lost and then they go we need to go find them how we gonna find them we're gonna go through a black hole the black hole teleports us it cuts the time in half right but what they don't realize is going through the black hole sends them straight to ████ hell that's event horizon that's eventually that's the movie that's so they mix christianity with space wow and so my dumb ass being like five years old being like i'm gonna watch this movie and i'm like oh ████ at five i was allowed to watch anything and everything as long as it didn't have sex
5:06 so my parents were like oh you're gonna watch you know rambo live yeah didn't care terminator two i'm like four i'm like yeah they're like dope love the part where he shows up naked i'm like they're like you can watch event horizon just don't watch the porno based office no no i'm actually writing it down because i want to watch that now you made it you sold it it's just a 90s film uh i thought there's a lot of new jack swing i think lawrence fishburne is here imagine that oh we're in hell [Laughter] you're pretty good at dancing man in hell this never got out of style [Laughter] is everyone wearing overalls and pinstripes not but with one with one overall though only one overall shroud
5:57 rising baby yeah it's the best movie ever because i'm all like oh it's all the boys everyone's got their clothes on backwards it would be funny to do an updated version oh because the reason why is every single person who was on the ship had their own version of hell they hallucinated differently so it was like the stuff that specifically would scare them that's yours yours would be the new jackson we would all be standing there like we'd all have like demons and people getting possessed loved ones getting killed and then him it would just be like a bunch of 90s dancers like but ryan can't handle it and you guys are like what do you see what do you see and all of us are like i can't even say it what the ████ i can't even say it ryan dies firstly i can't take it
6:47 no not kid and play i can't do it anymore i can't do it dude so uh to answer finally you guys question how this ████ laser does it so it it's literally like a giant laser they build how big on the surface i think it's like 37 feet like out and then it's got um it'll just shoot a laser at a spacecraft like at the hydrogen fuel to heat it wow and it'll just blast that like muay thai it'll just yeah it's like an enema for the rocket ship animals work too many it's a hot muay thai enema for a space shuttle it's a bidet yeah it's a hot bidet laser just keeps blasting boom it'll just keep the ████ out of it because because this isn't like for space travel the hardest thing is
7:37 getting out of the uh atmosphere atmosphere yeah because once you're gone they just it just logs you're just going at whatever speed you you grabbing yeah rejection yeah the angle have you seen that one it's like a satellite but um they they made it like into a sail and once it's launched out they just use the momentum of it to just get to mars and ship yeah i think the the panel also measures solar flares yeah and it like self propels yeah so that would be like that's 45 days for a spacecraft carrying people as far as satellites dude sometimes that's like way less one time it took me like 40 days to get back from india oh ████ 40 days were you on noah's ark or what the delhi airport got closed for like two weeks because it was just ████ foggy from fog yeah it was just super foggy like how bad was the fog like they couldn't see i mean i'm not a pilot but
8:28 it was that bad but i'm gonna trust them to be like oh we should take off and be like all right yeah you were you stuck at the airport for that long so they sent us back to uh this hotel which was basically a ████ which was hilarious there was like cockroaches everywhere and like but it was free yo yeah it was free it was free but people were pissed at the airport yeah i would be too you know just riots two weeks i was there for the airport for three days wow it took three days to get our flight like ready to go oh ████ but that's long it wasn't modern era would you go to would you go to mars if it was 45 days no one no one here is interested at all i like it here man let other people go what if you get your black belt way faster i'll stay here bro he's one belt away dude you're a different weight class think about it think about it i'll say if it make my penis bigger then i'm in dude
9:19 that's the only stipulation have you seen the like rover photos right to me it's like why go there when there's las vegas that's about to say it looks like vegas yeah it's the same ████ but i'm not trying to mars bro but like other bless you other than going to another planet which obviously is pretty dope yeah i might i want to see i'd love to go to the moon that'd be nice yeah it would be cool to see earth from that perspective and i think that would be life-changing yeah that's true that's true i would like to go to another earth-like planet because you know how they say they found other earth like and then i want to see if like you know the oceans look the same and ████ yeah that'd be pretty exciting because when you look at pictures of mars and stuff the whole planet just looks like this if you've seen one side of mars it's all the same but they'd say they're saying there's like ice ice underneath the surface and there's what possible we got ice here bro it just snowed over here
10:10 they sent worms up to space to see how it would change them and apparently they mutated and they grew two heads and then when they brought them back to earth they they removed one head and then like they uh it still grew back which ultimately then proved that they were genetically altered for good from being in space they became two-headed worms yeah a little bit they don't i don't know what happens to us will be going to space marshall actually thinking it's gonna do it dude you ever need to cut wait for a fight just go to space for like five days and then come back and then when you come back you're just frail and you can't do anything you can't walk yeah you have to relearn everything i have a feeling we're never going to sell you on going to mars i think you're a mars hater i hate no look i'll say this i'll say this for for the advancement of human civilization that's fire it's cool because i first i was like who the ████ wants to go to mars but when i hear other people that are smarter than me talk about this ████ i'm like that's tight that's really cool
11:01 but that's that's way beyond what i'm going to do if i go to mars i'm just dead weight bro i got to stay here but what if you want to you can train for 45 days you can train in the hyperbolic time chamber at like a hundred times gravity like goku did would that make me cooler though will that make me look like goku will i get will i get myself if i had to guess you'd probably have a brain aneurysm before you made it there but you could maybe be very but you'll be the deadest guy with the blackest belt oh man dude he turned the ship around i knew i could get you [Music]
11:53 you
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