0:00 [Music] Welcome back to Careful Voice. Today we're going to try to help a woman in peril in her relationship. Okay, this is from Reddit relationships. Not our favorite Reddit. That goes to cuckled psychology. Duh. >> But number two is Reddit relationships. This is from a chick named Sophie Scrappy. So we got your back, Sophie. She says, "My boyfriend disinvited me from a Bali trip that we planned together." And so >> Wait, did you say disinvited? >> Disinvited. I don't even know. >> So, not uninvited. >> He's 24. She is She's 22. She's saying, "How do I move forward in this relationship?" So, here goes. I really need some advice. I feel heartbroken and sick. My boyfriend together for 2 years has been planning a month-long trip to Bali for basically his whole life. Originally, he always pictured himself going alone, but after we got serious, he invited me to come with him. At
0:50 first, he seemed genuinely genuinely excited for me to join. I was excited as well. The timing was stressful for me. I had to jump through a ton of hoops at work to get off. Bunch of meetings with HR. unhappy boss rearranging shifts. I also bought my plane ticket, which was $1,400. I've been doing everything to make this work. Then, bless you. A couple weeks ago, he told me he doesn't want me to come anymore. He said, "The trip has become quote too stressful with me involved, and he needs to do this alone to quote find himself." >> Wow. >> This ████ complained the whole way. I guarantee you. >> She's She was talking about how difficult it was the whole time. >> Yeah. Yeah. He's like, "Actually, actually, I think it might be best if I just go on my own cuz it's ruining the zen of the trip." >> I like that she's watching this right now and Joe's like, "This ████ is this ████ is complaining." And she's like she's like, "Oh, f███." >> Cuz the fact that she's like, "I don't
1:41 know what's in what got into him." I I I just wanted to get the trip. And I'm like, "Bro, the process probably made him go, ah, f███." >> Yeah. He's like, "It's going to be like this." >> Well, when are we going to grab the taxi? And then like, "What hotel are we staying on the fifth?" And then >> Yeah. You're like, "Oh my god, >> you didn't plan that. You didn't plan the river walk." >> What about dinner? What's dinner on the 5th? I don't have dinner on the 5th. >> Yeah. >> Or or she's like, "He picks the place he wants to eat. Oh, you want to eat there?" And you're like, "F██████." >> But we can do it. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I hope it's good. >> Wait, is there more to this? Did I jump the gun? Okay. I might be wrong. I might be wrong. I might be wrong. >> Here's where it gets even harder here. So, I'm sorry. Then a couple weeks ago, yeah, he says the trip has become too stressful with me involved. He needs to do this alone to find himself and if he doesn't go solo, he'll quote resent it is resent me forever. >> That's a nice prediction. >> No, it's cuz he wants to ████ a lot of
2:32 Indonesian girls and she's going to ████ get in the way. >> My dog even. >> My dog. >> He even admitted that either I'll resent him for leaving me behind or he'll resent me for keeping him from this trip. Here's where it gets even harder. He knows what he's doing is really messed up. He's told me that if he could go back in time, he never would have invited me in the first place so that all this pain >> every day. >> Just break up, dude. These are bad things to be saying and staying together. >> This what a great way to jump start the relationship. >> He admits he's in the wrong and he knows how badly he's hurt me, but he's still choosing to go without you to shut the ████ up. >> That's why he's saying I'm sorry. It's ruining his piece. >> Please get my ticket refunded. And even though it wasn't fully reimbured, he's giving me the full 1,400 back. But it doesn't raise how devastated I feel. So, and then she does the girl thing of talking too much about the same thing
3:22 over and over again. So, we got it. >> I need two dates completely. >> Well, okay. >> Yeah, she missed the point completely. >> Yeah. >> Do you think she missed the point? >> Do you think he's like leveled with her, but like, yo, like man, this this whole process, you be ████ tripping out the whole time. >> Yeah. >> And you're stress you're a stress ball. Like if you're like this now, if it's their first traveling is going to be horrible. >> Look in this studio. It's full of misogynists. I'm a feminist. Let's look at let's look a little more realist. >> So let's say let's look at two different dates I need. How long were they dating? >> Two years. >> Is that what it said? >> Two years. >> Okay, that makes it a little crazy. Yeah, but that's a good mom. >> That's honeymoon stage though. >> And then how close to the trip or my flight was I disinvited >> and am I on my period? >> She says a couple weeks ago and that he's pl been planning this his whole
4:12 life. So, let's say three weeks to give give the benefit of the doubt to the gentleman >> from now. Three weeks ago from now. >> Yeah. Okay. It was or Yeah. Three weeks. The He disinvited me and we're leaving in three weeks. >> That's a little short notice, but a two-year relationship. >> You got to just talk this one out, right? Not to be like two wives. >> I think the key point is that she even knows is she said this is the trip he's been planning his whole life, right? This is his Mona Lisa. So, it's a huge honor for him to even open the door a little crack. Fine, maybe you could join. The fact that he disinvited her, like she should read the signs and go, "Oh, ████ I ████ this up." Because this was something he was going to go on with or without me, with any other girl that he's ever dated. This is his dream thing that he wanted. >> Yeah. >> Why did I get uninvited? She should look
5:03 in the mirror a little bit. Exactly. >> Even as a feminist, I see that. >> Let me Let me put on the feminist hat. >> Yeah. Take it. Take it. Take it. >> Okay. What do you feel? >> Okay. So, I >> You look good. >> So, for me, thank you. You look good. >> For me, this it's tough because they've been in relationship for two years. >> Like, so he's going to go on a vacation without >> What does it look like? A little little hat on his head. >> It's a small head cuz he looks trans now. >> He looks trans now. >> Take it back. Edit that out. >> Take it back. >> He looks like a little boy >> man. No, he's a man feminist. He looks like a little boy with a little little hat. >> Can I get on to my point now? >> All right. Let's go. Sorry. I'm sorry. >> Are ████ crazy. >> See, judgy right away. >> I think I'm a feminist for real now. >> I might be.
5:53 >> Okay. No, please continue. >> When you've been in relationship with somebody for 2 years. >> Yeah. >> And then you're going on a vacation without them alone to a beautiful place so that you can be is insane. >> It's actually certifiably insane. I don't care how annoying she was. You need to just break up with this ████ >> That's what I'm saying. It's nuked. That relationship makes sense. >> It's over. It's over. >> Because to Bart's point, like you should want to bring her, right? >> And if you don't want to bring her, he should have just >> especially two-year mark. No real problems happening. Two year mark. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Did you read the >> They'll never recover from this. >> They'll never recover. >> Quickly, let me just say this. >> She said she has a later on response after people have been responding to her basically saying a lot of stuff we're saying. She says, "Thanks so much for the replies. They've been helpful. I just want to say, I know this might sound naive, but I don't think he's going to Bully to cheat or anything like that. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wasn't before. Wasn't before. Now he is.
6:43 >> Knowing him and his past, I really don't think that's who he is. If that's what he wanted, I truly believe he' just break up with me before going. So, I think he's just too much of a ████ to actually break up with me. >> Maybe. What if he has a layover in Shanghai, though? >> It's very possible. >> Yeah. This ████ is oblivious, too. That's crazy. >> I mean, she's 22. He's only 24. They're just young. >> It's an early relationship. That is crazy to get like all the PTO for a month off of work and then for them to be like >> No, Subway is pretty lenient. >> That's true. She's 22. >> You just got to make all the sandwiches ahead of time. >> I do think he's being a little ████ cuz 3 weeks before the trip is too late. >> Yeah. >> We know that though. >> Oh, we don't. >> We made that up. We were >> Yeah, we were, you know, reading between lines. >> But also, think of the most annoying girlfriend you've ever had. >> Your life. >> All of them. Cuz travels make or break.
7:33 >> It's like maybe maybe you need to do like some ramp up trips. >> Let's ask a question. Can we respond? How old is this? Maybe she'll have a conversation with us. >> This is new. This is very new. >> Let's see if they've been on a trip before 2 days ago. >> Cuz if they've been on a banger and then now he still doesn't want you. That's even like a double down >> to a different country with somebody else is also something. >> But I think it's a good thing, right? Like you should check it out. And if you're canceling that now, >> I will say this too. >> There's nowhere that I go vacation wise that isn't more fun with my wife. That's why I married her. >> I can't imagine having an experience like this without my wife around. I would be like, "Oh, I wish I could share this with her. This is so cool." >> All the girls that I dated and the vacations ended up a nightmare where it just it became it was a reflection of the relationship. It was horrible. >> Exactly. >> But then like if you can travel and you can also be on the fly and be flexible, you know, it's going to be sick. >> Exactly. Even dude ████ I want to do
8:24 with her, but she just is one. Like if I were to go on like a elk hunting trip where we don't have to shower for seven days, I still want her to come. I just know she'll say no. >> That's your best friend. >> Yeah, but I would love for her to come though. >> Yeah, >> I wouldn't. >> You already know how that's going to go, >> dude. Me and Nikki were just shooting guns and I was like, this is so cool like that my wife first of all is cool with this and number two that like it shooks hot holding a gun and I'm just like I don't know. Like I I can't imagine doing that just myself and then leaving. But it's so much >> you you guys will do everything with your wife. Like you don't be like this ████ doesn't enjoy this so I'm going to go with my friend who does. >> There is like um you know like me and my buddy Chad will go see like superhero movies or some ████ sometimes like but like >> that's why God invented golf. >> Oh, there you go. Yeah. >> But I wish like if there was a thing she doesn't like I wish she did.
9:14 >> Yeah. >> It would be cooler if she was into it. >> Yeah. >> Like when you guys started doing jiu-jitsu. >> Like it only took like 10 years to convince her. >> Yeah. But then now you train with her, you're like, "This is ████ top. >> This is this is the best." Or like it took her 10 years for her to like own her own gun and go shoot, but now it's awesome. It's better than ever. >> I like the gear change of both of us doing ████ that none we don't have anything to do with >> building a new hobby together is dope. >> Yeah, we we have that and then we have stuff that I have no idea what she does when she does it. She just comes back and tells me about it and I do my own thing, too. And we have that, too. And I like that a lot. >> I think in our relationship style, >> that's tight. >> Yeah. >> There there's stuff that she does that I don't like. She plays poker. I don't want to have anything. >> No, it's too late. You already said you do everything. >> No, no, no. >> You can't go back to being straight. >> Go back. You can't go back. >> Yeah. >> Ma'am, sir. Sir, ma'am, ma'am, sir. >> You guys are peas in the bod. You do
10:04 everything together >> almost. But, you know, >> she have her own things. >> Plenty of stuff. >> You got to do it and you got to compete and always be better. >> So, when she's playing poker, you're not just over her shoulder like >> I want to do that. >> Be a babe. Be a babe. I genuinely [Laughter] >> full full >> I so I genuinely enjoy watching poker cuz it's it's a great like I like watching you guys know me I like watching sports. >> It's such a dramatic the the the part where they do the the what do you call it the the flop is one of the most dramatic things in sports in my opinion >> and so I enjoy watching poker. I'll watch poker for like 10 hours with her sometimes. >> Damn. >> Cuz like when she's gearing up for WS or when WB is going on, we have the live stream up and like we're just watching that thing the whole time. It's really fun. Yep. Travel with your ████ and if you can't break up. >> That's the weird thing is I'm surprised he didn't break up with her after uninviting her.
10:55 >> She should break up. That's the power move. You should break up with him. >> That's true. Just just get out of
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