0:00 He offered to suck the asalent's dick and then [laughter] and the guy stabbed him. But >> he's like, "I ain't gay." >> It was and then his last words were, "Let me suck your dick." [clears throat] >> That's unnecessary. [laughter] >> I offer on the tombstone says, "I ain't gay." >> Welcome back to another episode of the Careful Boys. I'm sure many of you guys have seen this clip already, but we're going to break it down right here. Boom. >> On December 6th. Oh, thank you. Oh, yeah. Jeez. >> What the hell? >> Her taller male companion chose to step back and hide. >> Her homosexual friend >> gay guys would go throw down. >> A pair of American tourists were walking down the street on vacation in Colia when the armed attacker suddenly approached them, lunging at the woman
0:50 trying to steal her phone. >> Oh, this guy's >> this guy sucks. >> Failed to do. Oh my goodness, bro. >> I cannot believe this. >> And hit the mugger in the head with his helmet. A few other people passing by also jumped in to help fight the mugger off in a dramatic struggle. >> Yo, that guy's been hiding in the corner >> whole time just hiding. >> Yeah. And then he pops his head out like and he puts it back. Did you see that? >> Her companion scene managing to make his way out from behind the wall to come. >> He goes, "Oh my god, that was so scary, [laughter] >> dude. That's crazy. >> Oh, this guy smoked, right? He smoked. >> He smoked. No, they're getting married, dude. >> Yeah. [screaming] >> Wow, dude. >> You know what? But he did he did stick around, though. Let's be positive.
1:41 >> Hey, I watched that video like hell of times to see >> he could have run away. >> He could have ran. >> I watched it a couple times to see like how many guys came out, right? Like there was a guy that literally parked his car. He had enough time to park his car, get out of his car, and then hit the dude. That guy was so close. He could have just ████ done something. And he was sitting there like clutching his ████ purse, and he he ran away from her. Dude, >> he walked away. >> It's crazy, dude. >> It's too bad there's not like a s███████ of videos of this guy like barking on the internet about how how what a tough guy he is, cuz that would make this so much better. Like when I like the guy from Flagrant like getting absolutely smoked right now because like of all the ████ talking. >> It would be perfect if there was a setup like that. >> That would be really nice. >> Yeah. Like if he's going around like, "Man, if that was me, like what if he was like a self-defense commentator and he had hella videos of him going like,
2:33 "All right, so this is what you do in this situation. [laughter] >> You got to go like this and you got to go like this and disarm him." >> Or like the seat belt lady who's like who's like, "Put your put your fingers here. Remove the seat belt." With an attacker. I'm like, and the guy in the back of the ski mask is just like totally still. >> I love that ████ man. >> Yeah. And then this video comes out. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> He doesn't do a ████ damn thing, dude. >> Except being an expert witness. He's like, [laughter] >> at least he's being a good witness. >> He didn't even pull out his phone, dude. He didn't even record. >> Maybe he was waiting for his moment to strike, you know, and then somebody came in too fast. >> He also was wearing a Merse, too. [laughter] >> Okay. Wait. Zero. No, it was a fanny pack across this ████ >> That's immersed. That's immersed, [snorts] dude. >> Yeah. Wear it right like this. Don't be Gen Z, dude. >> Yeah. >> Okay, but Okay, I don't want to be um
3:23 like a bad person for saying this, but did she or did she not choose the guy, >> the ████ >> Yeah. No. Yeah, >> we we have no information or context, so let's just let's just speculate on the worst case scenario. >> They're probably a couple traveling together. >> I would say that that's 99%. What if he's what if he's her like gay brother and then she's like a black >> but this we're assuming gays don't fight. I would I would argue that a gay dude >> would be way more feisty than this ████ That's my girlfriend. >> What if he's on the spectrum and doesn't like violence? >> Oh, >> I don't know about that. Autistic Autistic people are ████ crazy. >> What if we don't hear audio from the clip. What if she was like, "Get away. I got this." What if she said that? >> So he's mine. >> That's true. [laughter] SHE'S I'M A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN. >> YOU ALWAYS take my kills. >> Yeah, >> that's true.
4:13 >> Yeah. >> She goes, "Don't make me feel inferior." >> Yeah. What if as he's backed away, he's like, "Yeah, you got this. You got grab grab it with the left. We'll grab it with the left." Uh-huh. What if he's just coached? >> He's her trainer. >> Yeah. >> I don't think he >> But if she let the other strangers do it because she didn't ventiloquist. >> Yeah, he's a ventriloquist. >> He's a ventriloquist. Okay. >> I just think we don't have full context and I think we're just blasting. >> Sometimes I don't want context. >> Damn, dude. That sucks. >> You know what I mean? Like this video I is doing its job. I get to be mad in a nice room and just sit here and be mad. >> Okay. Out of a hundred people, because I think most guys right now would be like I would have ████ done the thing. But out of a hundred guys that says I would have done something, how many of them do you think wouldn't actually want to? >> I think probably half of them. Probably half of them. >> If they've never been in a fight, if they never been in a fight, you don't know how they'll act. If they've been in a fight, I I I give them a I give I I
5:04 give it to them. But the thing that I think made him even bigger of a ████ is that he had backup. So like if he was alone, I'd give him that. I'd be like, "Okay, he's scared. He's probably never done anything." He's still a ████ though cuz a woman should never fight harder than you. >> That's crazy. >> Like no matter what, you should self-sacrifice even if you can't fight, right? You should you shouldn't ████ b especially if she's your girlfriend, wife, or anything. I just think it's just duty. But then on top of that, if other guys are coming in and already now it's your time to go, ah, but other guys came in. He went and he clutched his purse even harder. >> Crazy. >> What if he's What if he's got something in that purse, though? You know, it's like knives out. He's got a crazy diamond or something that he's like hauling. >> It's the Come on, dude. You got to give him grace, bro. Steve, man. >> Trying, dude. I'm trying. I'm trying to get there. I'm just such a tough dude. You know what I mean? I'm just I'm so
5:54 tough. I can't quite get there. [laughter] >> I'm too hardcore, I guess. Also though, like also, let's say me, I'm the biggest ████ in the world, right? I I would totally I would run. That guy walked. I would run away. [laughter] >> You I even see that. >> He was like >> I'm like, Nina, peace. I'll take care of the kid. Right. >> What would you say before you run? >> But you know, honestly, I might be like, give him the phone. GIVE HIM THE ████ PHONE. IT'S A KNIFE. >> HEY, did you see the >> I'm too cheap for [laughter] that. >> I'll get you another phone. I swear. >> Weren't you in Taekwondo? It's >> Taekwondo is a scam. We all know that. >> You know how to use your legs. You could create distance. >> He's no ████ [laughter] >> Did you guys see the peekaboo he did? >> That ████ was funny, dude. That fool went Oh, still fighting. [laughter] >> He could have at least used the
6:44 narrative like I went to go get help. Like the reason why that biker came is cuz I was pulling traffic over. But the peekaboo definitely didn't. >> The peekaboo was rough, man. That's the roughest part of the video. Bro, >> that fool was 2 feet away biting his nails and going, "Oh, I hope she's okay." >> That ████ was a cartoon. >> I just can't believe he's traveling. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Don't travel when you're a ████ right? Kind of personality. Like, why are you traveling? >> And then why Colia? Like, >> there's there's some stereotypes that exist for a reason. Like, why Colombia? >> It's like, what if it's like that Bruce Lee movie where he promised his master he would never fight again? [laughter] He's so deadly. And then his >> and and she's his master. >> Yeah. [laughter] His necklace breaks and he's like, >> "Dude, that's very likely." I I know I know a bunch of people that promise their masters that they'll never kill again. >> Yeah. Could be. >> Do you guys think it's because he had a
7:34 knife, but the thing is it didn't look like he was stabbing anybody with it. Like he had a knife. >> It looked like he never even It didn't >> It didn't hurt her, right? He's just holding it. >> Yeah. No, I think I think it's just his personality. >> He's just a ████ He might be one of those people that they when they interview them and and they believe that white people should be robbed because they have too much stuff. [laughter] >> Yeah, >> he's probably like a typical anti-gun guy, huh? >> He could be the guy who's like who's like that guy needs it more than we do. >> Exactly. You know those those people that have that sentiment? >> That was a straight Quaker. >> Well, what if um he has to if you guys help then you're going to die. Do you mean in a situation like a dangerous situation like the scenario is that if you help you smack Yeah. your significant other you you're going to die for sure. You >> for sure. >> Yeah. Yeah.
8:24 >> It's your ████ duty, bro. Like why would you WANT YOUR WIFE TO DIE? That's ████ ridiculous. >> Hold on. Give me a second. But then if you don't help, >> she won't die, but she'll get you. >> She'll get pissed off. She She'll get pissed and then she'll get cut a couple times and [laughter] >> she's going to bleed a little bit. >> These things are guaranteed. We know that. >> It's guaranteed. >> Yeah, it's guaranteed. We know this. >> Let that ████ get cut. >> If she gets all pissed though, that's going to suck. >> Oh, that's But then she'll leave you. >> She's going to leave you. That's some ████ >> Like your manhood is, you know, >> that's crazy that in your heart you knew the truth. >> Yeah, >> but you died anyway. >> She's mad at you, but you can't say, "But I was going to die." Cuz you have the gift of foresight. >> Yeah, you have the gift of >> real question is, would you rather be alive and be known as this guy or be dead? Yeah. >> I'd be ████ dead. My pride is too
9:14 strong. >> I'd rather be dead. I'D BE DEAD AS >> I want a statue, bro, of a go. And I want my I want Hannah to cry for me every ████ day and the whole world to know that I I wasn't no ████ ████ >> I'd rather be a martyr than dying >> than that ████ Yeah, but dying by knife would suck. >> Don't stab my girlfriend. I'll suck your ████ dick. >> Yeah. And and I'll have a statue of me going [laughter] like this and and you can like put it in the statue. [laughter] Your pride for not stepping in is way crazier than your pride for having a statue of you sucking dick in death. >> Yeah. If it's [laughter] to save a life >> and there'll be like elementary school field trips to come talk about me. >> You wouldn't you wouldn't suck a dick to save a life. >> Well, you also die. He's saying he in this scenario he also died. So there's a statue of him sucking dick. >> But you saved the life. You saved the life. But the story that the story Hannah tells is like he offered to suck the asalent's dick and then
10:04 >> and the guy stabbed him. But >> he's like, "I ain't gay." [laughter] >> It was and then his last words were, "Let me suck your dick. That's unnecessary. [laughter] >> I offered for on the tombstone says I ain't gay." >> Didn't do anything, but he offered and uh we're not like a ████ hero. >> It wasn't even a part of the bargaining, but I added the extra. [laughter] You wouldn't do that? No. >> Would I? I would suck a dick to save a life. It depends on whose life. >> Clip it. >> Clip it. Send it to me. The least favorite Kinja. >> Oh ████ >> Why you guys got to go there? Why? >> Why'd you think of a person? >> You always got to go there. Who are you thinking about? Who you think about? Say the name at the same [laughter] time. Why was there someone you thought of? >> Is it Spider? Is it Spider? [laughter] >> Your arch nemesis. >> Sucking a dick to save a life is is a fair trade. It's a beautiful It's a
10:54 beautiful >> I mean, people do it every day for nothing. For no reason. >> Yeah. Wait, what? What if What if you have to suck Ryan's dick >> to save his life? >> No, no, no. Is uh some other person's life. >> Who's Who's the other person? >> Least favorite Kinja. [laughter] Your least favorite Kinja. No, but but you have to suck Ryan's dick for 20 minutes. >> 20 minutes, [laughter] dude. >> He doesn't have to come but 20. >> Save your least favorite Kinja. >> 20 minutes is pretty >> Yeah, but then at the end of this, you die, right? >> [laughter] >> you die. >> No. If you suck it, then the the Kindred lives. >> Damn, that's a tough question. >> Why are we going to always be saving Kinjas? >> I know. >> Yeah. >> Why do I got to be sucking dick to save Kas? >> You're not saving. You're just saving the least favorite guy. [laughter] >> And then he's probably And then he leaves the team a year later anyway. >> No loyalty after all that. [laughter]
11:47 >> Adding that detail is ████ up. >> You're not getting a ████ today. >> I see where your limits are. for 20 point for you. >> Loyalty. Okay. It's loyalty. The dick sucking is for loyalty. So the loyalty has to be paid on the other. >> Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. >> We don't have to ask Joe this question. We can go to the next person. [laughter] >> We already have a statue. >> Yeah, we already know Joe. We're >> a gold one. [laughter] So dumb. A gold one. Did you die saving saving Anna? So your statue is just And then you know people with statues. You could do that and everyone has a picture of my face [laughter] like this. Yeah. >> For luck. Like for fertility. And in school school field trips ████ come and watch. >> People come and they hump it for fertility. >> You know when you go touch a statue for good luck and then everybody just goes up, sticks their dick into his mouth. [laughter] >> There'll be movies made of me, dude.
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