0:00 [Music] and welcome back to another awesome episode of the careful boys where we are super and extremely careful and today i think we could be more careful we probably could but we have jason cheney in the building today what's up dog hey thank you so much for having me man i haven't been here in a long time yeah dude thank you you're welcome man i'm always i'm always excited to have guests on my show here but uh our weather man bart why don't you take it away bart yeah so i have a couple questions two of them that's not weather no it's not weather at all uh the first one is like what got you into stand-up comedy because i know like a lot of people have their own personal story and the second one is i found out that you've been in a comedy boxing match before and i want to know about that let's get to the first one first okay thank you for your question bart
0:50 you're very welcome um most polite man i got into stand up because uh why are you making a face like that oh i'm trying to understand sorry that's just the steps you're making our guests feel good hide your face man wait five more minutes and he'll throw you off like this thank you very comfortable i feel very hard for that i got to stand up because i really just wanted to express myself like growing up i didn't move in with my parents until fifth grade and but i was really thankful that my grandmother raised me yeah i didn't know okay you know what i didn't know that's a thing that's why i'm saying it now because i started to see a therapist during the pandemic when i was 29 years old i don't know why i'm pointing like this but i feel like i wanted to talk to everybody hey give me one of these i wanted to talk to everybody and also for the viewers at home uh but i didn't know you grew up with your grandma yeah
1:42 yeah grandma grandpa my uncle and my aunt but um but when i was 29 see a therapist uh she she was like hey you know ask me about my background and also she she so i was telling him yeah and i moved in with my parents until fifth grade and then she's like what and i was like yeah you know whatever and she's like probably not and then so we i like your therapist i don't like how she's making up problems for you that's what i'm saying that's a normal asian ████ story i was so happy we were all we were all raised by grandparents i was happy until i saw my thing is your their what what ethnicity is the therapist what what uh see that that's that's that's a that's a big deal but you know what i love her though she's great you fell in love in a sexual way just to be clear it's sexual that's not ethical bro
2:32 uh no and then uh i wanted to do stand-up because i i think asian culture they it's just you know we you guys talked about it i'm sure plenty of times just you don't ask questions just do what you're told all the time and i didn't ever oh my when i went to college uh miramar college uh they had critical thinking with it she already checked out i feel like no i like critical thinking that was one of my favorite classes super checked in you got to be able to read him the right way no because he was wearing a hat looking over there at the dinosaur and i was like jill's trick hey don't check out dude no no don't even guess because you're not going to guess it right that's just that's just the room that's just continuing not even playing checkers dude he's playing chess um no but yeah and after yeah after i uh i
3:24 forgot what was the same thing you checked out [Laughter] i uh yeah and i didn't know what critical thinking was because we don't exist it doesn't exist in asian people well at least to me like specifically because they're like you know critical thing you have to think for yourself and i was like i don't even know just tell me what you want and then memorize it tell me what you want me to say tell me what i needed to do but critically think for yourself i remember this is recent too that i was like oh maybe that's the thing and then from there i just want to express myself and i bombed super hard um i have a question how much [Applause] oh how about you i need this blessing i like i like i like what you observe because i always told myself the reason why asians are not the superior race
4:15 is because they're hard drives not processors what i mean by that is they just download everything exactly but they don't know how to process right and it's because critical thinking does not exist in the culture the way that it does in western culture because the the the whole like philosophy behind it you know like western philosophy argument debate thinking you know coming down with the the scientific method like all that stuff it they teach it in asia but not in the house so we don't it's not like um you don't have discussions you have you just have orders orders and you obey but you know what i feel like asians they process the processors are five percent and i think uh western culture is like you know a 50 60 more percentage because i feel like the hard drives are most of the people and i
5:05 think the five percent give it to the most of the people that's why china's so strong because they have the smartest people but only a small amount but then they make the rest of the people be a process they're a terabyte in america i like i said slit processors what was he gonna say what was the word of course but yeah i wanted to express myself but slave slave is one syllable processor i can't say it how are you able to like especially being like a good asian right where you're like well i wasn't i was like i was the worst in class every were you a troublemaker yeah i was i was but because i just want to have a good time and i was kicked out of class like every class and i was like spanked bart's eyebrows like oh fellow troublemaker i
5:56 see he goes what would you do you guys are like taiwanese troublemakers well like when you when you bombed what kept you going because that's all even when the first i'd like for the first i would i sucked so bad yeah the first two years but i just wanted to say what i think just i just want to have a good time regardless of what was funny or not but but it still hurt a lot though it hurt a lot but not more than not be able to say the thing but the way i started was really like um because i was so sad like i would literally told myself like if i'm going to dude when i was in um fifth fifth grade or fourth grade i told my grandma that man i want to kill myself i remember this i told my grandma you were suicidal at fifth grade yeah no but yeah so i told my grandma like hey i think i'm gonna kill myself right
6:46 and then i remember my grandma i was sitting on on this bed and then my dad walked in and then my grandma told my dad and then my dad's like he's not brave enough and it just i remember that really specifically but um like my son is a beach exactly but so so when i before i started stand-up um i wanted to do three things i uh which is really a really lame thing it was like white water rafting which i haven't done yet let's go i want to do that too you want to do it i'll do it but have you done it though no but i'm down why is that lame that seems so fun people said it's really them david david david ████ said it was lame i told him everything is lame have you even done you know why he says that it's because he's scared yeah he doesn't like heights he doesn't like he doesn't like anything
7:37 yeah ████ you david that's why he's like that's scary but i didn't know that but he made me feel bad just tell him to get into a white water after you have to climb up a ladder and then it'll ████ shut up roasting someone's bucket list is probably the meanest thing you could do i know okay what's number two so yeah so i had three i was like if i'm going to die these are the three things so why water everything and then get my motorcycles licensed hey that's cool is that cool do you want to learn how to ride a motorcycle i could teach you i do yeah but the thing i don't have a license but i just just do a basic writer's course you can get it in a weekend yeah so you can't get in a week it only costs 250 bucks i got mine you can get in one weekend i don't even have a motorcycle anymore let's start with your road though i had a scooter that's a scooter bro not a motorcycle you don't even have a license full you're gonna yeah but i had a motorcycle hey bring out the hat you need more tips what's the third thing the third thing was stand up and then so i passed my
8:27 written test on my motorcycle and uh before the road you know the class i did stand up and right when i did it i was like oh man i i have to do this and then i just kept doing it and didn't do the other things and i haven't stopped what was the first time where was it how did you feel like did you prepare or no i just wanted to because it just seemed super fun oh no i i we went to like me and my wife went to an open mic and i was like because the only stand-up comedy show that i've ever seen live was kevin hart's like arena thing yeah and i was like oh my god this is the best and i went to like a comedy club which i've never have because asian culture people don't really go to stand-up comedy it's not a thing like why would karaoke go yeah karaoke is way more fun you could do that at home and stuff and people don't shame you know but um
9:18 when to open my console's comedy hold at that point joe rogan was blowing up and he will go there and lie to him like oh my god i want to do an open mic and then i went and you have to pay five dollars i'm like i'm not doing this stupid thing so i was like no no i'm just gonna watch and then i go and then there's like five people at the thing and they were calling people's names and they're like jason uh van glass or whatever or stein right and then i was like what i can't believe that there's a jason and i was like me and then he was like are you jason stein and i was like no but i'm jason and then he was like all right and then so that's how i went out for the first time and i bought what you didn't even have nothing prepared you just stand up just that sounds scarier than ████ riding a motorcycle what you just freestyled it you didn't have any when i was sitting down i was like what do i want to talk about and
10:08 then um i i wanted to talk about this fish tank what was the first tell us tell us the bit tell us it's a stupid bit well yes what did you just tell us about the fish tank already bombed there you can't bomb here again give us your worst material it's probably going to be funnier no it's not it's so bad that it's not funny it's the thing it's just like we have a bar try us so what'd you start a fish tank sounds pretty funny would you how did you like what did you lead with i just i just went up and i was like man this is awesome everybody did you did you start out with what's the deal with fish tanks that was yeah that was way better than what i said for sure but i i just went and i was just like uh i i think that i just rift yeah but yeah and then i did a fish i was just really cool that how fish they turn at the same time
10:59 he already won them over dude that's ████ awesome but the thing is like how how he's not even telling the joker no but that there's no joke but there's no i don't even have a punch line yeah i don't even have a punchline but you're making fun of me you're doing this and you ████ i'm not me you don't know how fish turn at the same time they turn at the exact same time is the thing how do they do it all of them not one or two all of them they all go [Laughter] how did they turn in vietnamese and then when he said that everyone was just like it's just crickets like oh yeah did people laugh there's also five people in the ████ crowd you know okay there was like six please there was that but i one comic he was like haha like that yeah that was me probably it was you and i really appreciate it
11:49 that kept me going that's why i'm here it's your boy was your wife there too the whole time no no no that would have been fun you ████ suck you don't know nothing about fish and then when you see when they gave you the light were you like oh thank god i'm getting off stage or it's like whatever thing it was just like okay cool it was like i think like four or five minutes it was really long to me it was yeah at the time it was like super super long but i had a good time how did you know that you bombed the way you felt or the way that people treated you both [Laughter] you ruined jason stein's reputation yeah jason stein's they're like man that jason stein guys this fish tank ████ what was that dude he's on like a no-fly list for all come come you just ruined it for him but you know what there is a comedian after he's like hey man that was funny and then
12:41 i was like yeah and then i just kept doing it yeah so when when did you go oh i actually want to do this for a job i don't think ev it's i think it's like a everyday thing every day i have to convince myself like hey this might not it might just be like this forever but i would rather do this every day i'm like well i don't want to do radio shack or uh i don't even know if it's radio shack is still there bro you're either do what you love or go on a radio show your career outlived radio shows i know i wanna do radio shack i don't wanna do circuits my bar's super low that's pretty good i don't want best buy either i like naming stores that are all closed down i like that your bar's that low yeah how about ethan allen we got a
13:31 special relationship with ethan allen they're still in business who's ethan allen it's a furniture store it's like the new ring one of the most hospitable furniture that bart got his ass beaten can i almost got his ass say it saved me what how my dad was beating my ass in a parking lot of ethan allen and then i was uh i ran away because i don't want to get my ass beat and there's the ethanol it's the furniture store so i went inside and i hid in one of the cabinets he hid in the cabinet and then they saved me yeah and then i asked a white lady savior to save me for my evil asian death but he still beats your ass after though no no my parents are divorced yeah but he still beat your ass after when he found you well he can't see me for another week he can only see me on tuesdays so he's very smart he's very smart so he hid in the ethan allen till wednesday he ate the cabinet
14:21 this is surviving there can i can i ask what uh what your therapist said was a bad thing about you moving in with your parents later what do you probably just like a abandonment but we we haven't explored that because there was another thing that we wanted to talk about but she was like oh that's the thing do you feel comfortable exploring that right now so she thinks you had abandonment issues like that you didn't know about i i don't know but it seems like i don't know but what do you assume push push push it down yeah and forget it at all because that's all we do as asian or people who beat your ass everything you just go yeah this is this is just going yeah but and it's like normal both sides push it down my dad used to ████ me up and i called him out on it and he says i didn't do that dude dude i have this new ████ they they're the best at gaslighting yeah did your dad gaslight your ass too
15:11 but i don't even know that it's like it's a thing until recently people say gaslighting i don't even know what that is i just found out i have to google it i have to read words i have to have to read words i don't know what gaslighting i like that sounds so stupid it's so dumb yeah but you that go are you a ████ and i'm like maybe and then you just try not to be a ████ your whole life and then now they're like no that's bad i'm like oh it's bad so what did your therapist say when you were like yeah i told my grandma that i want to kill myself my dad you know what that part that this was the first time that i ever said it out loud yeah two people because i just because i just thought that like a couple couple months watch out you're gaslighting yourself you remembered it what exactly was happening at that age that you were like ████ this life like what was going on i just i don't know it's just because i was bad at everything all the time it's just i was
16:01 failing school everything and then i was getting bullied where did my and i was running away it was taiwan yeah when did you come to america again eighth grade oh eight i loved it yeah it was the best was it was it better when you came here of course it's so nice and i was like uh smoking a little weed where what city it was in carlsbad i went straight into uh you know straight to the kingdom of glory carlsbad yeah i went to army and navy academy i went to that school no you didn't i did carlsbad are you serious yeah are you in his ████ unit dude no way dude no okay you go there's a there's a central quad in grass right this the buildings is shaping clean holes queen hall yeah and in the back there's there's a beach yeah yeah and then there's a child hall right
16:51 here or a mess hall right here oh yeah and then there's uh there is rooms facing the street that during that time i don't know during your time in our time we would have drug dealers pull up and then you can meet them right on the street and that's how the people got the drugs is that how you did it too yeah but not they wouldn't they weren't doing it like that at the end people just bring it in on the weekends and then if you get in trouble you got to walk those ████ squares or something i never got to go out i walk the square every day yeah me too every day i walk this way by myself i was like yes this is the best yeah dude that's ████ great i never met anyone that went to that school were you in trouble is that why they sent you you guys are both talented troublemakers that ████ your parents just wanted you to just get disciplined sure that's one two taiwanese troublemakers dude troublemakers have you met anyone else that went to a a not outside but i kept in touch with some and they're really
17:41 nice they're good guys what do you know holy ████ that's like when we found out we went to the same spot i know but i came alone though did you sorry i just had to flex a little bit what do you mean um did you come along with your family or did you come alone did you come with your family or come along because you oh no you were born in america so yeah i got i got sent there because i got kicked out of two other high schools already so i got sent there oh god he's flexing that he came to america by himself oh that's that is a that's a good flex though i did have parents they sent me there they loved you no yeah yeah [Laughter] you went there the whole time two and a half no i wanted to graduate but then two and after two and a half years i went to a public school
18:31 in uh in san diego westview and i love that oh you went to west view yeah but only for last year you went to osu no you didn't do it go ahead and name anything i know someone in your zone do you like pudding no pudding someone do a bill of coffee what a crazy that's interesting it's such a weird school i've never met anyone that went there well you just keep on saying it but you have friends that is in your class that still you still know but nobody random like this that's pretty crazy only two taiwanese troublemakers the only people that i know that i remember from that school was 11 of us got expelled at the same time that's that's a that's a lot but what is it is it drugs or is it drugs related and we're running a uh uh like a that's a nice way of saying organized
19:22 crime no we're and then they caught all 11 of us and this all of us got kicked out a drug racket how long did you go there for five months oh got sent there oh he's laughing at you i got sent there he's laughing i didn't even finish a semester he goes that's push wait why didn't you finish the semester because the ████ they found out about our our ████ pass around thing about uh so you kept doing something but what was the thing what was the drug just like ecstasy and weed it's funny that it's a bunch of military boys doing ecstasy together that's just funny well it's not in the military but they're high school kids everyone's in high school it's a boarding school and then you end up sleeping there so you don't have ████ to do so you never got you never got bullied there i did and then but we all like after it was fun we threw piss on
20:13 each other jerk off on each other's pillows and stuff and i was showing my friend my was a good penis it looks like you're reminiscing as you're saying i like how it's a bunch of navy boys that are doing ecstasy and massaging each other and coming on each other's pillows it was a good time it could be gay i'm saying it would be fun if it was gay too gay hadn't been invented yet at that time it was definitely gay guys but it was a good time [Music] [Applause] [Music] you
// end of tape