0:00 [Music] welcome back to careful boys we have with us colleen lionheart currently off the record so we're going to take this time and talk about popular misconceptions about what men think make them attractive you know be funny if or let's we should do it this way like guys say what they think makes guys attractive and clean can answer if that's actually true or not totally smoke us i could i could say one thing okay because i speak for all women well you believe all women sorry clearly i could say once or twice that you don't even got to tell me because i know now but when i was like 15 years old i swore to god if i had an exhaust on my civic
0:52 and i was like oh dude and if i ████ try to like screech across the street i thought all the chicks were getting hella horn so i was like oh ████ these chicks are gonna be ████ hitting me all the tips are like what's an exhaust [Laughter] you exhaust me all the things that attract guys guys do that thinking that girls would like it like getting a sports car or whatever when you end up getting a sports car most most attention comes from men or gold diggers but mostly men i remember when i was um a kid i really thought that girls love to watch me wrestle my friends if i had a crush right i'm dominant i'm the dan honestly that's kind of how the truth is so true
1:43 you would always do that in front of the girls elementary school and but you know what it was funny it was like a um it was like an unwritten rule amongst guys in elementary school like when you just had pretty girls like sitting on the bench and you just like for some reason you just start ████ wrestling your friends and laughing some guys never grow out of it we do it all the time aren't we attractive the best thing in the world is when they notice they're watching and they start laughing mm-hmm and then because you're you're just kind of like oh they like that you feel like you sold at home or something you're like yeah yeah sealed the deal laughter my version of that maybe when i was like maybe when i was like uh probably elementary school between seven and maybe ten is going hella fast on my bike because there was a girl that lived like a little bit down the street i thought she was cute and i would see them play so
2:33 i'm like oh just i'm just casually riding down the street and then when i know that i'm in their peripheral vision i go like this and then you know those little curves and i'm like she didn't see around nothing like that just trying to like i think you're trying to peacock right like you're trying to like get there yeah you're trying to but you're like damn bar got some air on that i should ask him how many times has that worked where she is peddles faster catch up to you like what you just did oh my god i'm in amazing the other kid on the street just go like walk up to her like what's that you're playing oh skip it or whatever and then skip it they're just having a conversation [Laughter]
3:27 i think um one one thing that i thought was uh growing up was like this is for years that that girl would like his like looks like so like you know you know what you know so guys we were really attracted to physical like girls hair face bodies whatever right guys are really visual so then so then you think that girls would want the same thing and i think that's where like where dudes get the idea of sending dick pics and stuff is because you want to see ladies private parts too so you think oh man she probably wants equitable trade i must be i never die if i can think of what a ████ high schooler's thinking of that's probably what they're thinking of right so like for me all i was thinking about was like man
4:17 what is the body part that girls like the most so i would ask all of my um female friends like what do you what what do you like in a guy and they start talking about stupid things like personality i'm like no like what body part you can't take a picture of that yeah yeah you said all those horrible photos some girls be like shoulders somebody's like oh i really like the chest or like i like abs your left elbow got it so when i heard that that's all i focused on it's just like let me get let me just ████ get the biggest shoulders yeah and i ████ failed because i got tired and i didn't know how to work out because you ate the brownie you went to the gym and offered you brownie i think a lot of guys still probably think that's like oh my body my body like girls like bodies because i like bodies they must like bodies i did that this girl told me she liked uh
5:07 the collarbone or like that that part so this is like back when american apparel is like popping dvds now it talks to her like this try to flex it and try to stick it out you just stick your neck out yeah i try to stick my collarbone out but instead i just look like an idiot and i think what was unsexy was the fact that like you know when she mentioned that she didn't mean that i wanted she wanted me to tether my whole ████ satisfaction over that being noticed that just made it unsexy so i was like ████ women i also think that it was like really clear i would i would i would hear ladies talk about how uh they want a guy that's funny yeah right somebody who makes them laugh but if you aren't like really good at being funny um you end up not being somebody to laugh with but somebody to laugh at and then that sometimes is actually not very sexy yeah
5:57 no yeah you don't understand so then uh i remember in high school i was easier to laugh at than with for a period of time still till this damn is that is that true like literally look at you i got fashion what do you think of that laughing at or with which one do you prefer my relationship ended because i couldn't connect with him in that in that way oh on the humor way like your humor was so important my humor it was like i had humor he didn't what how long did you guys uh six months six also you guys were just testing it out and then six months you're like man we just don't connect that way yeah i think like during that six months i was in denial i'm like i mean this could work i'll make it work yeah because there are other factors that we we enjoyed obviously but that i realize that's a really big factor for me to connect with
6:48 somebody i mean because humor is like a form of intelligence like it's it's that weird banter that you know yeah absolutely it is but too bad you're not funny though because i think like comedians as modern-day philosophers right yeah because you could you see different perspectives but most people don't right so i'm like that's pretty good it's not meant for everybody to catch people that think very linear or they can't see the comedy or the joke or maybe they're just too literal right yeah that's really the curse there the literal part cause when they when they hear the joke or when they hear comedy they just think it's so below them because they're like that's so stupid and they write it off but it's like but you don't ████ see the nuance the subtext double entendre like you're not looking at these and then you look at them like do you have asperger's what the ████ all the spatulas they just go no i don't that's insensitive
7:39 the ████ way um did he did you ever tell him that prior and did he try to make an effort to sort of connect with you um no because it's just not his uh it just wasn't his character it's just not who he was so it says like why try to change somebody like here's a joke book study better study jokes get him classes at ucb i expect by dinner to laugh five times [Laughter] stressing he's all trying to memorize these knock-knock jokes you give him a mic go ahead all right make me laugh funny guys knock knock that's the ████ word dude make me laugh like oh dude you're funny hey make us laugh is there um like dudes like what do you think is one of the
8:29 biggest like when dudes are going fishing for chicks right like what's one of the worst baits that they use like girls need i mean guys need to just stop doing this name dropping oh it's a good one is it because is it is it hollywood specific that's a good one dropping is like an instant checked out yeah that's a good check so that's why that's why right when nick was like oh you know marley or whatever you're like man ████ this fool i was like ████ no that's a good one because brother because brad pitt was telling me this is the same ████ you should yeah first name brad even with dudes though you know what you mean dudes and they're like that too oh yeah i'll just give uh you know just eating breakfast steven spielberg's house and it was crazy yeah it's name dropping or flaunting like fancy in your area you're like yeah assets i'm not talking physically i'm talking about like your actual like yeah yeah how much you lost and luna
9:23 this table is done this is the luna table we are out of the game yeah dude 37 luna dude that's especially true for like i feel like with colleen like because they know she's part of an industry then they're a lot of guys are probably thinking which names are going to impress her yeah i was a key group for uh students i was best boy i was the best boy i'm not familiar i'm not familiar it's right in between dolly grip oh i wonder why people do that today's video is brought to you by audible all right you know these days it's difficult for me to sit down and actually read a book especially with my add i'm like looking at one sentence and before you know it i'm in the backyard gardening there's so many things i want to like
10:13 learn and get to know but with all of these books that are like slapping me in the face i don't even know how i could get through one but thanks to audible i realized i am a ear learner which is an audible learner and so i pull up the books that i get and i just listen to him and it doesn't matter if i'm doing kung fu in the backyard or i'm throwing rocks at a tree no matter where i am in the world i can continuously listen to a book and finish it that's pretty cool and for a lot of people i think listening is the best way because that helps me out too i remember even back in college like i would read the textbook but actually what helped me out the most was recording the lecture in class and so what's cool about audible is they have all kinds of stuff they don't just have audio books they also have uh audible originals they even have podcasts they have a whole wide range of
11:04 entertainment for your audio needs yup and right now i'm listening to marcus aurelius meditations you see that right here there's my audible for such persons it is natural that these things should occur damn put you straight to sleep some people want to learn but for me i use that to help me relax that's dope so let audible help you discover new ways to laugh be inspired or be entertained new members can try it free for 30 days so visit audible.com off the record or text off the record to 500-500 that's audible.com off the record or text off the record to 500-500 to try audible for free for 30 days audible.com off the record do you think it's because they want to be accepted they want to be president oh it's people pleasing yeah yeah i just smell insecurity though so what does
11:54 that come off as to you is like lack of confidence because you're not like you have to try harder a little bit of arrogance and entitlement and i think that removing those being just a normal human being and building rapport with that person is going to go a lot further then lead with that lead with that be friends you know what's interesting though there's definitely also girls out there that like fall for name dropping oh yeah yeah and there's also like uh not just girls but in people in general that like they do get impressed they do get uh you know i don't say like a rouser turn on right away but like that keys them into the conversation you know what i mean maybe some people don't have the game to uh be charismatic enough with nothing and work from there maybe uh being able to be be able to spit like hot fire into like the first 30 seconds and throw something might be interesting it's kind of their only tactic so when it works
12:45 once or twice that might be the only fallback that they have you know i mean i don't have a problem with somebody having a conversation about their experiences with success and then as and it's relevant to the conversation i have a problem with somebody like coming up to me like you know brad pitt i do like it's just one of those i'm in though imagine she got turned off but the guy was just telling the truth she's like who dropped you off oh it was keanu and she goes what a turn off she goes i have a boyfriend he's not he's my brother he's my brother my last name is no i really i really did right imagine how many times that has happened i know i'm just like this town in this town just like by default in my nature i'm like ████ it oh my god yeah you know keanu reeves took a ████ in my bathroom one time
13:37 uh other oh yeah in real life oh that did uh other version of the question that makes you more valuable that you know him when somebody is fishing he sat on my toilet [Laughter] when someone is fishing for you what is something that works um authenticity like just being genuine ninety percent of our followers are like i don't ████ know what that is you know why do i do that i think people people don't know how to be themselves so that's why they don't know what off be authentic is so they have to peacock in front of others male or female to feel accepted it took me a while to understand because some of these things were like really weird to me when i would hear these cliches of like just be yourself be this but then if you don't know who yourself is then you have to construct that person or that ideal person or if you don't
14:28 have a sense of security of who you are because all of this is just ideas of parents or rules of what other people told you to be then it's kind of like oh ████ well that's where all of my insecurities and lack of confidence come from is i don't have this identity so then that whole journey i think when i had to go through that i was like okay that's what being yourself means and being comfortable and just having confidence and women like that and i was like okay that makes a lot of sense you're a good example of being yourself though like you're really authentic that sounds more like an insider oh my god like you don't even care how you look man um for an example like
15:19 for the be yourself right um find something that you're passionate about and then go do that thing you'll find other people who are also passionate about that and then you have rapport you can already talk about that thing that you guys are both passionate about and now it's easier for you to be authentic and genuine um yeah effort ████ it okay here we go i'm gonna tell you something that's very surprising okay and you might be like wow i can't believe this ████ but um i actually have no game at all no game i don't i don't believe that what is game what are you guys waiting for because game is always like declared as this like anti-game is also game so i have no life right now by saying that actually i don't have lines i don't have anything prepared i don't have a method i don't know
16:10 like a strategy i don't have any of that the best way is to shoot the ████ though like you said like being that's awesome all i know how to do is make friends and sexual propositions but that's why that's why you leap from the front though you know are you are you saying we'd be surprised because we thought you had hell again yeah see yep yep i thought you guys would be shocked like oh my god i thought you were the most romantic guy in the whole room i'm a little shocked yeah you kind of remember i know but then i'm sorry to let you down bro like i am no recourse you can never let me know what do you think about like you know like pickup artist type people always say to be mysterious like neil strauss what does that mean like what about does that matter if someone's mysterious if instead of name dropping they go i don't know anybody i don't even know who dropped me off
17:01 i don't even know the ████ that was what do you do for a living i don't know if i'd have so many questions about like their current state of affairs that that would engage in a conversation okay so it's good for initial interest but maybe not long term i don't even know how many fingers i have to be honest hands your pockets never seen them scout's honor what about the age old what about the age-old you walk into you know a barn somebody's trying to like hit on you or something like that and they're like hey can i buy you a drink and that's like one of their first lines okay sure buy me a drink okay and then you and then you get it that's as far as he's gone that's all he's like and then i'm like hey what next yeah he's like sure buy me a drink i gotta use the bathroom oh i gotta go here's your drink bye
17:54 and then i hand that drink to my boyfriend free drinks goodbye i guess goodbye advice is don't buy people drinks they will take advantage of it where's that where's the advice you gotta have a really good second act right everybody what's the follow-up you buy the drink and then what's your conversation all right that was 17.50 there was a time in my life though where i felt that it was much easier and more comfortable to get into a fist fight than to walk up to a beautiful woman and try to talk to her oh dude i know what you mean that's why you peacock with a fistfight you were right i understand that though because what's the worst that could happen she just says no you're in the same position what is the worst that you've done to someone else that was like just i know but i think your heart is you know what it's not even the consequence
18:45 because i'm pretty sure it will be no right like his anticipation is all that it could be devastating but i think just to me it's not even the consequence or like not of getting it or whatever to me to even try it is scary because uh it's much easier if it's like oh someone in the friend group or like maybe you know but to just try to seal the deal that moment then and there it's ████ scary as a cold call like where it's like you don't know yeah and then you and then so you know that right so like you and your friends do it as a team like remember when you go to the mall and everyone went to the mall right and everyone like back in the day junior high high school you get dropped off at the mall you would see other girls and just be like are you going dude no i'll do it this time all right let's go you know and you go up you're like man this one's too cute it's so scary i think you also give women too
19:36 much leverage and value like you're already going into it thinking that she's up here and you're here that's the leverage that's a bad thing too and so it's like instead of coming at it from that angle like coming the other angle she's down here what's up yeah the celebrity might tell you ████ off but it's so scary because you want to just say hi can we take a picture you know that's so sad though like if a woman says like if you're genuine you come up in a nice way and she says ████ off yeah ████ that ████ then you go you're ugly anyway and then [Laughter] that's how you make people i didn't even like you anyways takes the drink back yeah you have too many split ends anyway it was all a social experiment yeah your eyelashes are not even on one side ████
20:26 you by the way you're on camera with ashley kushner stupid that's kind of what's missing of i don't know if like kids do it right but in high school and junior high that's what we did we go to the mall we're like okay group of pretty girls let's just try to talk to them and you go hey what's up and then it's like you use those stupid lines like hey if he was a book i'd pick you fire and you're like what 13 trying to do some stupid ████ like that and you know can i get your pager number or whatever and then like you get the number and then later on you ████ call and then that's when you start feeling like okay let's talk let's flirt you know yeah yeah but then in that moment though like that that feeling is so scary because i think for for me it was the ambiguity because when you're like young and you don't have a lot of experience you're not really sure where you stand on the scale of attractiveness until it's it comes to practice so then you see a girl and you're like she's hot am i
21:18 hot like that where i go up to her and she'll be interested or where do i stand like are we a match yeah so it's hard it's hard to like face that maybe you're not because i realize that she also doesn't know what the hell she's doing either yeah that's too young though yeah that's too young we are stupid i mean women like type like typically have more practice than men because they get approached more often than men yeah so like there's that um sorry for yourself i know i get approached all the time i first met first by men yeah yeah by the police officers i actually first found that i felt that um maybe when i was like freshman year or like junior high my last year junior high i forgot how i got into this situation but there was like um like one of the hottest chicks in school nice dude no no nothing happened
22:09 already nothing and i think we were we were all kind of in a in a similar friend group right and then uh we're on a similar friend group i don't know how this happened but it ended up being me and her uh just like walking back from school together i don't know how that happened and she was one of those chicks where it was like in your mind she's untouchable she it's like either like that dude who is gonna like go to the nfl and talk to her or that dude whose older brother's in prison is going to talk to her i you know it's like one of those things and i was walking home with her and we're just talking to the point where like after i think we got to the street we're supposed to split she was like asking me like if we're gonna hang out some other other time or whatever and uh we're hanging
23:00 out i was like get this though no i just froze i didn't even know what to say right oh yeah yeah yeah i was trying to play it cool and the whole time i just couldn't even believe that i talked to like a ████ angel like that when bartenders pulled his eyelids back that's like some real ████ i was like whoa dude let me tell you what the ████ i couldn't even believe what happened and uh i was so like um excited to see what would happen after but i ended up getting kicked out of school so would nothing happen after that but i was just like that's what i realized that's what i realized like it doesn't really matter where you are or who or whatever like that it's if people can connect on something there's some sort of rapport that'll happen and then people want you back and when you feel that energy then it's like fire okay so has a woman ever hit on you and did you like that experience and how did she do
23:50 it there was a chicken it's so quiet it's never i was waiting for his answer so in junior high this is my favorite story there's a chick that told me um do you remember this is this so ████ dumb but like you remember um op talk or yap talk or something where instead of saying ████ because it's like cody you want other people to to say it's like let's see if i say toy you'll say top up yap so it's like t-o-p it's like similar to like w g okay yeah yeah all right so me and this chick were talking on the phone pig latin and my brain already i already friendzoned her yeah right so my brain already friends on there and then we were talking about like who we thought were cute whatever and then she said you like yap oh you and then uh
24:40 i hung up on her awesome [Laughter] because on her side she's probably like damn i've been rejected and just like the trauma from [Laughter] he just freaked out what if that was her first this food just freaked out sorry esther she's still traumatized wow what about you guys i think i think we're out of time he has to go and they got too many stories bro anthony tell yours as you walk out
25:30 yeah um nah you
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